At some point in time, everyone gets nervous in social situations. However, if you have Social Anxiety Disorder, seemingly “typical” events can become extremely overwhelming. For those living with Social Anxiety Disorder, you may feel self-conscious and scared in social situations. Even the most casual social situations can leave you feeling drained, criticized, or rejected.
Social Anxiety Disorder, also known as Social Phobia, means that everyday interactions can leave you with extreme anxiety, self-consciousness, and embarrassment. This is often linked to the feeling that others are scrutinizing or negatively judging you.
The fear and anxiety that is created from your Social Anxiety Disorder can disrupt your life, including your relationships, daily routines, work, school, and more.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, and life transitions. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and telehealth (video/phone) sessions to residents of New Jersey and New York.
Severe social anxiety can impact everyday activities, such as:
Talking with co-workers
Eating in front of other people
Purchasing groceries
Going on dates
Going to classes at school
Social Anxiety Disorder can be classified as a chronic mental health condition, but there are effective methods to assist you. By learning helpful coping skills in anxiety counseling and, in some situations, taking medication, you can boost your confidence and improve your capacity to interact with others.
It is important to note that feelings of shyness or discomfort do not automatically mean that you have Social Anxiety Disorder, especially in children. Many people have different comfort levels in social situations which are largely dependent on personality attributes and life experiences. Some people are naturally more introverted or reserved, while others are more extroverted and thrive in social environments.
Social Anxiety Disorder normally begins in the early to mid-teen years, but it can blossom in childhood or adulthood.
Some emotional and behavioral symptoms and signs of Social Anxiety Disorder can include constant:
Fear of situations where other individuals may judge you in a negative light
Assumption of the worst outcomes rooted in a negative experience from a past social situation
Worrying about embarrassing or shaming yourself
Examination of your social performance
Identification of the imperfections in your past social interactions
Acute fright of interacting or conversing with strangers
Acute fright or anxiety during social situations
Fear that others will notice your anxiety
Anxiety in preparation of a frightful activity or event
Panic of physical symptoms that may trigger your embarrassment (e.g., sweating, trembling, shaky voice, blushing, etc.)
Avoidance of completing activities or speaking to others due to embarrassment
Avoidance of situations where you will be the star of the show
Children showcase social anxiety in a unique form. When interacting with adults or peers, children with social anxiety may:
Cry
Throw a temper tantrum
Cling to parents
Refuse to speak
The physical signs and symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder may include:
Trembling
Sweating
Blushing
Accelerated heartbeat
Nausea
Upset stomach
Muscle tension
Feeling as if your mind has gone blank (e.g., feeling frozen)
Difficulty catching your breath
Dizziness or lightheadedness
Social anxiety symptoms can alter over time. If you are facing a lot of challenges or experiencing a considerable amount of stress at a specific time, you may be experiencing even more symptoms than usual. While temporarily avoiding situations that trigger your anxiety will feel comfortable in the short-term, it will only prolong your anxiety. Getting treatment in the form of anxiety therapy is a great first step to controlling your anxiety.
Managing social anxiety is not as simple as throwing yourself into every social situation, but it can be an achievable aspiration to alleviate your anxiety. While Social Anxiety Disorder can be difficult, do not let it keep you from living life to the fullest. Continue reading below for six helpful tips to help you live with social anxiety.
Control Your Breath
As mentioned previously, anxiety can trigger changes in your body beyond the mental sphere. One of the most common symptoms of anxiety is fast and shallow breathing which makes you even more anxious.
Shallow breathing can cause you to feel:
Suffocated
Tense
Dizzy
Luckily, there are many techniques that you can use to re-center and catch your breath. By focusing on your breathing, you can also control other anxiety symptoms.
You can try to:
Sit down in a comfortable position
Relax your shoulders
Put one hand on your stomach and the other hand on your chest
Breath in through your nose for a count of 4
Hold your breath for a count of 2
Exhale through your mouth for 6 seconds
Repeat this cycle until you feel relaxed
2. Start Small
The way to overcome social anxiety is not to jump head-first into large social gatherings. It is important to be patient with yourself. It can take time to overcome social anxiety, but it is certainly possible. Your biggest fears do not have to be faced right off the bat but, by overwhelming yourself with large social events, you can create more anxiety.
You can try the following small ways to help build up your social confidence:
Schedule a meal with a close friend or family member at a restaurant
Try to make eye contact and say “hello” to people in public
If someone strikes a conversation with you, try to engage and ask them questions about themself
3. Remove the Spotlight on Yourself
While it can be easy to get wrapped up in the conversation taking place in your head, try to remember that there is a whole world outside of your thoughts. By listening to the conversation or reminding yourself that people are not judging you, you can bring yourself back to the present moment. When you are present, you can be a good listener which is a quality that many people appreciate.
4. Do Not Welcome Your Negative Thoughts
If you have social anxiety, you most likely worry over the potential outcomes of social situations.
While the reason for your worrying may be broad, some examples include:
Calling someone by the wrong name
Getting sick in front of a group of people
Laughing at the wrong time
Accidentally saying something impolite or insulting
These situations can happen occasionally and, in the short-term, they do cause discomfort. In these moments, it is important to keep things in perspective. Even if you do make a social mistake, that does not automatically mean that people will think less of you.
When you feel overwhelmed with negative thoughts, you can challenge and replace them with more positive, realistic thoughts. A major component of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for anxiety focuses on reframing your mindset. For more information on how to treat your anxiety using CBT, read our blog “How You Can Treat Your Anxiety Using CBT.”
5. Try A Physical Relaxation Technique
Social anxiety comes in many forms, and progressive muscle relaxation can help you ease your physical discomfort.
You can try to:
Slowly tense each group of muscles, starting with your toes.
Hold the tightness for a count of 5.
Exhale for a count of 10 as you release the tension.
Repeat and move on to another desired muscle group.
6. Talk to An Anxiety Therapist
Social anxiety goes beyond mere shyness- it is a mental health condition. While adopting helpful tips may ease your symptoms, that is not the case for everyone.
You can make a lot of adjustments in your life to ease your anxiety, but talking to an anxiety counselor is always a good decision if you are struggling.
A therapist for anxiety can:
Teach you the difference between social anxiety and shyness
Assist you in pinpointing anxiety triggers
Educate you on healthy coping strategies, social skills, and relaxation methods
Offer advice on how to challenge and replace negative thoughts
Anxiety counseling gives you a safe space to practice enduring situations that may trigger your anxiety. Your anxiety counselor may even recommend anxiety therapy groups or anxiety support groups.
Overall, social anxiety is challenging, but it is possible to improve your signs and symptoms. By employing the tips mentioned above and working with your anxiety therapist, you can overcome your social anxiety!
Victoria Scala
is the Social Media Manager at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey. She is currently an undergraduate student at the Honors College of Rutgers University-Newark, looking to study Clinical Mental Health Counseling at the graduate level. As a Social Media Manager at Anchor Therapy, Victoria is committed to producing content for and managing the office’s social media presence and blog.
