Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

hoboken counseling

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How to Use Anxious Attachment Therapy to Build Secure Attachment

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How to Use Anxious Attachment Therapy to Build Secure Attachment

Are you struggling with anxious attachment patterns in your relationships? Do you feel abandoned when you are away from your partner? Do you find yourself needing constant reassurance from other people? How do you feel when a significant other or friend wants some alone time? If you find yourself fearing abandonment, needing constant reassurance, and feeling insecure, you are not alone in your relationship struggles.


An anxious attachment style can deeply impact your emotional welfare and ability to successfully connect with others. With that being said, with the right tools and mindset, you can move towards building a secure attachment style! A secure attachment style refers to a healthy, positive pattern of emotional bonding that occurs in a relationship. It is characterized by trust, comfort with intimacy, and the ability to rely on other people without a fear of rejection or abandonment. Specifically, with therapy for an anxious attachment style at Anchor Therapy, you can learn how to reframe your anxious thoughts into positive, more realistic ones to build better connections in your life, whether romantic or platonic!

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How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

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How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, simply referred to as PCOS, is a hormonal disorder that impacts women who are of reproductive age. While the cause of PCOS is not well known, we do know that it causes enlarged ovaries with small cysts on the outer edges. Health experts believe a combination of genetic and environmental factors are at play with this disorder. 

The effects of PCOS are still being studied, but we know that those with the disorder can experience a wide range of mental health concerns, from anxiety and depression to eating disorders and low self-esteem. Continue reading this blog to figure out how PCOS may be impacting you mentally and emotionally, and what you can do to cope.

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5 Places to Practice Mindfulness in Hoboken, NJ

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5 Places to Practice Mindfulness in Hoboken, NJ

Let us face the truth- living in the greater New York City area can feel overwhelming at times. The vibrant cityscape of Hoboken can make finding moments of peace and mindfulness seem challenging. 

Whether you are a seasoned mindfulness expert or just beginning your journey to better mental health, Hoboken does have some hidden gems so you can quiet your mind and recharge your soul. From tucking away in a serene cafe to visiting a tranquil park with gorgeous waterfront views, it is possible to find a mindful escape within your own city. To discover five places to practice mindfulness in Hoboken, continue reading this blog!

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How to Find the Best Therapist Near Me

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How to Find the Best Therapist Near Me

A lot of mental health professionals offer therapy, but what does it mean to find the right therapist for you? The truth is that finding some who you fit with like a perfect puzzle can be a complex journey. People have compared finding the right therapist to apartment hunting in the sense that you have to deal with a rather over-crowded market. Demand is high and the availability is restricted. You may have to see a few apartments before you find the right fit for you.

Finding a licensed mental health counselor who you jive with takes time and dedicated effort on your behalf. From hours of searching online to speaking with coordinating teams to ensure your schedules and other factors align, the process can be lengthy. Luckily, if you are in the greater New York City area, Anchor Therapy is here to help!

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Beyond the Couch: Creating a Welcoming Environment for Therapy Clients

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Beyond the Couch: Creating a Welcoming Environment for Therapy Clients

While therapy can be an incredibly transformational space, it can also be a place of discomfort. In fact, after a good therapy session, you may not feel the best. Reliving your trauma, challenging your Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) intrusive thoughts, and learning how to cope with Postpartum Depression (PPD) are not easy things after all. But, it will allow you to live a better quality of life in the long-term. 

With all of that being said, there are steps your therapist can take to ensure your comfort in mental health counseling sessions. In order for therapy to be a successful process for you, vulnerability is key. Honestly sharing your experiences, thoughts, and behaviors with your therapist in a safe space is of the utmost importance.

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Is It Normal To Feel Worse After A Therapy Session?

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Is It Normal To Feel Worse After A Therapy Session?

Your 45-minute weekly session with your licensed mental health counselor is coming to an end, but your feelings are not magically going to go away. In fact, you feel horrible after chatting with your therapist. Now, you feel frustrated and maybe worse than before you started mental health counseling. After all, therapy is supposed to make you feel better, right?

But, do not worry! It is normal to feel bad after your counseling session, especially if you are in the beginning stages of your therapeutic journey of self-improvement. Although it may sound counterintuitive, feeling bad after therapy can actually be a good sign as it shows that you are really putting the work into your emotional health, dealing with difficult emotions and discussing past traumas. 

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How to Cope with Life Transitions in Your 20s

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How to Cope with Life Transitions in Your 20s

While many of us know about the popular term “mid-life crisis”, the term “quarter-life crisis” may not come to mind, but it is just as real as a phenomenon. In fact, it may even be a rite of passage to feel lost in your 20s. It is a high-stress time in your life where more things are changing than staying the same. Whether you are graduating college and getting your first ‘real-world’ job or getting married to the love of your life, this decade can be defined by its many life transitions.

Many people would agree that your 20s is a time of self-exploration. You are figuring out your likes and dislikes, who you are, where your professional interests lie, what you are looking for in a romantic partner, and so much more! All of this inner discovery can easily leave you feeling lost and confused. You may find yourself comparing your life to that of your friends, feeling like you are behind in life in comparison to your peers. If you find yourself feeling like this, please take comfort in the fact that you are not alone.

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7 Ways to Stop Your Gambling Habit

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7 Ways to Stop Your Gambling Habit

From your finances to the quality of your relationship, gambling can impact a lot of different facets in your life. A couple of decades ago, gambling was solely reserved for fast-paced, neon-lighted casinos. Fast forward to the present-day, gambling can take many forms, including online gambling platforms.

Compulsive gambling is a difficult cycle to break, but please take solace in the fact that recovery is 100% possible! If you are struggling with gambling, continue to read this blog to learn helpful tips and develop a practice game plan.

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4 Communication Tips Couples Need To Know

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4 Communication Tips Couples Need To Know

In order for the success of any relationship, open and honest communication is a must. Relationships are emotional, therefore they rely on interpersonal nonverbal and verbal exchanges of communication amongst the people involved. Most relationships and marriages start out with the idea of success but, without putting in the work, a relationship can turn sour very quickly. When you share a child with your partner or are co-parenting, communication is even more important. If you just welcomed a baby into the world, check out our blog “Building A Stronger Relationship With Your Partner Post-Baby.”

Communication does not always come easily, whether you are discussing something with a romantic partner or co-worker. While some people have no issue communicating in a direct and respectful manner, other people may have trouble expressing themselves. If you resonate with the latter, it can be hard to maintain healthy relationships.

Continue reading to learn about different communication styles and how you can improve your conversations with your partner!

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Everything You Need To Know About Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)

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Everything You Need To Know About Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)

When you are mindful, you are aware of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. At the same time, you are also able to assess your environment, surroundings, and situations without automatic responses, such as passing judgment or increasing your stress levels. 

In Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy, also known as MBCT, a MBCT therapist incorporates mindfulness techniques into your counseling sessions. 

Some mindfulness practices include:

  • Present Moment Awareness:

    When you pay close attention to the sensations and perceptions you are feeling in your body, and clear the mind of any worries and judgements. 

  • Meditation:

    When you focus your mind on a particular object, thought, or occurrence to hone in attention and awareness so you can achieve a mentally and emotionally clear state. To learn more about meditation, check out our past blog “How Meditation Can Lead To Stress Reduction.” 

  • Breathing Exercises:

    Simple breathing exercises can help you reduce stress and make you less anxious. A common breathing exercise is the 4-7-8 method, also referred to as the relaxing breath since it helps tame your nervous system. To perform this breathing exercise, you close your mouth and inhale through your nose to a mental count of four. Then, you hold your breath for a count of seven. Finally, you exhale through your mouth for a count of eight. 

MBCT teaches you how to be in the present moment. It also teaches you how to remove yourself from negative thought patterns that can cause a decline in your mood.

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The Ultimate Guide to Building Self-Confidence

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The Ultimate Guide to Building Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is the attitude you have in regards to your skills and abilities. When you have a healthy level of self-confidence, you accept and trust yourself how you are. It also means that you have a good sense of control over your life. You take pride in your strengths, but you also acknowledge your shortcomings. You can handle criticism well, have realistic goals for yourself, and can comfortably communicate your needs. Overall, you have a positive view of yourself, but this positive self-reflection is not always an easy thing to achieve.

Alternatively, when you have low self-confidence, it rarely has anything to do with your actual skills and abilities. Instead, it almost entirely relies on your perception of yourself. Perceptions are how you think about yourself, and those thoughts are subject to falsity. Low self-confidence can stem from several experiences, perhaps you are afraid of failure or you grew up in a family and home environment that was extremely critical of you. When you have a low sense of self-confidence, you often have a pattern of errors in your thinking.

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How Alix Earle Became The “It” Girl While Battling Anxiety and Self-Esteem Issues

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How Alix Earle Became The “It” Girl While Battling Anxiety and Self-Esteem Issues

Who is social media star Alix Earle? 

Alix Earle began her rise to fame through TikTok in 2022. Since then, her TikTok following has grown from 300,000 to 3.5 million people in 2023. Alix grew up in New Jersey, and attended a Catholic high school. Her family owns a construction and paving company which Alix interns at while she attends the University of Miami, studying business and marketing. On point with Alix’s social media skills, she helps with her family company’s newsletter on their website and runs their social media accounts. 

The Earle company prioritizes mental health within their company, showing support for veterans ever since the traumatic September 11th attacks. The family also operates a foundation that mainly focuses on helping people fighting opioid addiction. 

While Alix is speaking on important topics now with her newfound social media fame, it does not mean that she did not have personal struggles in her past. Alix’s father and mother had a public divorcein 2008 but still co parent their shared kids together. Her father remarried and had three children with his new wife. Alix has become a role model and older sister for her younger half siblings. From what she shares online, Alix is a part of a healthy blended family that spends a lot of time together.

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Is Premarital Counseling for Me?

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Is Premarital Counseling for Me?

If you are engaged, you may be questioning if premarital counseling is worth it. Maybe you are simply thinking of getting engaged or a bit farther down the road, already booking a venue and inviting your friends and family to share your special day with you. Whatever the case is for you, you have undoubtedly invested a lot into your proposal and/or wedding, including your time, money, and energy. It is easy to primarily focus on the ideal proposal or ceremony while overlooking the amount of work it takes to create an ideal partnership. 

In preparation for a wedding, there are many tasks to complete, and it may seem like your to-do list is never-ending. While you are caught up in the hustle and bustle of planning a wedding, do not forget the most important thing- building a secure foundation to build upon with your partner. Your wedding is an amazing and life-changing moment in your life, but it is one day. It will come and go while your relationship will last a lifetime. Premarital counseling will give you and your partner the chance to come together and prepare for the life and family you will be creating together.

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How You Are Gaslighting Yourself

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How You Are Gaslighting Yourself

When we think of gaslighting, we often think about it in the context of other people. You may think of a narcissist or someone in a position of power gaslighting someone, but did you ever think of how you can gaslight yourself? Self-gaslighting is real. It is a manipulation tactic that makes you question your understanding of your own reality.

Self-gaslighting is a result of internalized doubt coupled with a disapproving external voice. It leads you to question the world around you and dismiss your feelings. If you want to learn about why you gaslight yourself, keep reading this blog!

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Selena Gomez’s Raw Honesty With Mental Health: My Mind and Me Documentary

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Selena Gomez’s Raw Honesty With Mental Health: My Mind and Me Documentary

Spoilers ahead if you have not watched Selena Gomez’s documentary, “My Mind and Me” yet!

Selena Gomez’s much-anticipated documentary, entitled My Mind and Me, hit Apple TV on November 2nd, 2022. The documentary follows Selena Gomez, an American singer, actress, producer, and philanthropist, after years of growing up and living life in the public eye. Gomez began acting as a child in Barney & Friends. Soon after, she blossomed into a full-blown star, landing a hit tv show on the Disney channel and becoming one of the most-followed celebrities. However, with all of this success also came its fair share of challenges. Specifically, mental health challenges.

My Mind and Me offers a raw glimpse into the life of Gomez over a six year period. While Gomez has spent much of her life in the spotlight, she largely remains a very private person. The public may know details about Gomez from her famous social relationships, like her friendship with Taylor Swift and previous relationship with Justin Bieber, but we do not know much about Gomez’s personality, let alone her mental health struggles.

After watching My Mind and Me, there are many important lessons we can take away from the documentary.
Gomez opens up the documentary with a pledge, “Let me make a promise. I’ll only tell you my darkest secrets.” This statement holds true for the entirety of the film. Gomez showed an undeniable amount of vulnerability throughout the documentary, encompassing detailing her struggles with Bipolar Disorder to her health battles with the autoimmune disease lupus. Gomez’s level of honesty and bravery is an inspiration to people everywhere.

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Why You’re Depressed Around Your Period: All About PMDD

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Why You’re Depressed Around Your Period: All About PMDD

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is a health problem that affects millions of teen and adult women. It is similar to Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS), but PMDD is more serious. PMDD has many serious health consequences, including irritability, depression, and anxiety. These symptoms typically occur one to two weeks before your period starts and start wearing off two to three days after your period starts.

PMDD is often referred to as “severe PMS” since it causes a range of emotional and physical symptoms. Many women experience symptoms of PMS. You may even have severe PMS symptoms, and simply acknowledge them as “normal” since you do not know how else to feel. With PMDD, the symptoms are harsh and it can have a great impact on your life. It can be difficult to work, go to school, socialize with other people, and form healthy connections. If you think you may be struggling with PMDD, continue to read this blog.

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4 Ways To Cope With A Panic Disorder

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4 Ways To Cope With A Panic Disorder

Some people experience panic attacks once or twice during their life, but others experience them constantly and more abruptly. Nobody likes to have panic attacks, and having them non-stop can take a toll on you. Panic disorders are exhausting and scary. A panic disorder is basically an ongoing case of unpredictable, intense panic attacks. The mental and physical symptoms can be so intense that seeking outside help, like the assistance of a panic disorder therapist near you, can be a great way to help you get the support you need.


Despite your best efforts to convince yourself that you are okay, panic attacks can still occur. While there is no universal magic cure to panic attacks, there are effective methods that you can learn to help manage your symptoms. This blog will give you a deeper understanding of panic attacks and panic disorder and what you can do to overcome and cope with them.

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Do I Have A Social Media Addiction?

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Do I Have A Social Media Addiction?

We’ve all heard it before- social media seriously impacts your mental health. But how does it do so? The constant news can be conflicting. Some reports claim that social media can be an amazing tool for networking and connection, bringing people together like never before. On the other hand, other sources tell us of the detrimental impact social media can have on our mental health, advocating for temporarily disabling your social media accounts and limiting screen time.

Human beings are social creatures. We need connection to other people to thrive and grow to our fullest potential. The strength of those relationships can have a big impact on your happiness and overall mental health.

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Is Art Therapy Actually Effective?

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Is Art Therapy Actually Effective?

How can painting or coloring really provide insight into your mental health? Is a drawing you created actually representative of your mental state? Is sculpting truly a form of self-expression? If you have ever asked yourself any of these questions or simply wondered if art therapy is for you, continue reading this blog for more information!


Art is merely more than an outlet for your creativity. At its core, it is a channel for self-expression and understanding. In art therapy, your licensed art therapist will teach you how to unveil your artwork to discover deeper messages and symbols. By examining the psychological method behind your creations, an art therapist near you assists you in identifying your concealed feelings. Contrary to the belief of some people, art therapy is a proven, effective method for mental health issues and it can help you reveal different aspects of your own identity.

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How to Cope With Empty Nest Syndrome

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How to Cope With Empty Nest Syndrome

When you become a parent, it can quickly become the main component of your identity. You may lose yourself while taking care of your children while balancing work and other life responsibilities at the same time. Many parents often regard parenthood as one of the most challenging yet meaningful things they will ever do.

As the saying goes, the days are long but the years go by fast. One day you may be potty training and, then you blink, and you are getting ready to send your teen away to college. For at least 18 years, your life has revolved around your child. You may have been in charge of carpools, making sure that your child gets to all of their extracurricular activities in a timely manner, or having to guide them with homework or additional school projects. Then, when your teen leaves for college or to the workforce, your day-to-day life instantly changes.

If you are going through this, please know that it is normal to feel loss or uncertainty when your child leaves. This may be an only child or your youngest. Whatever the case, your feelings are valid. The main objective of parenting is to raise a healthy young adult who can live life independent of you. While your child is taking on a major life transition, moving out of their childhood home or going to college, you should take pride in the fact that you did the best you could and your child will be okay. Even if you acknowledge the hard work and effort you put into parenting, you may still be struggling. This may be what we commonly refer to as empty nest syndrome.