Attachment-Based Therapy
Attachment-based mental health counseling involves exploring how your childhood and adolescence experiences have impacted your ability to form meaningful bonds with other people as an adult. Oftentimes, people who have experienced a negative or traumatic childhood are encouraged to undergo attachment therapy. However, this form of psychotherapy can be beneficial for anyone who is struggling to create deep connections with other people.
Attachment therapy is a brief form of mental health counseling where the focus is on the therapeutic process itself. An attachment therapist at Anchor Therapy will help you express your emotions so you can rebuild trust with others. In this form of psychotherapy, your earliest life interactions with your parents and/or caregivers will be examined. By crafting an environment of trust, an attachment-based counselor can help resolve relationship issues as well as preventing or treating mental health conditions, like anxiety or depression for instance.
What is an attachment-based therapy approach?
Attachment-based psychotherapy has roots in attachment theory. Attachment theory is a psychological framework that was created by British psychologist John Bowlby in the mid-20th century.
The general idea of attachment theory is to explain how the bonds formed in childhood between a child and their primary caregiver(s) affect their social, emotional, and cognitive development, even into adulthood. The quality of this attachment in early life dictates a person’s ability to form and maintain relationships throughout their life.
Bowlby, the founder of attachment theory, highlighted the importance of a child’s relationship with their primary caregiver in regards to both psychological and emotional development. Disruptions in this relationship-building during childhood could result in emotional and behavioral issues.
Some important concepts covered in attachment therapy include the following:
Attachment-related behaviors:
Infants and young children showcase attachment-related behaviors in order to remain physically close to their primary caregiver(s). They do this through crying, clinging to their caregiver’s leg, following their caregiver around, and so on. It is believed that the child’s behaviors are evolutionary modifications that they make to maximize survival since they are close to their caregiver.
Secure base:
A major concept in attachment-based therapy is the idea of a ‘secure base.’ A caregiver can provide a sense of security and safety to a child. This provides a child with the idea that they can safely explore the world yet still return to their caregiver for support and comfort when needed. For healthy emotional development to occur, a secure base must be present in childhood and teenhood.
Internal working models:
Through early attachment experiences, you create internal working models, also referred to as mental representations, of yourself and the people around you. This can influence how you perceive relationships and even how you interact with other people throughout the course of your life. How you react to interpersonal relationships and stress are determined by your internal working models.
Attachment therapy can assist individuals with the following concerns:
Relationship issues
Romantic concerns - You may have a hard time creating or sustaining romantic relationships. Or, romantic relationships may be plagued by codependency, insecurity, avoidance, and/or conflict.
Family dynamics - Struggles within a family unit (e.g., divorce, sibling rivalry, poor parent-child dynamic, etc.)
Trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Early childhood trauma - Early traumatic experiences (e.g., abandonment, abuse, neglect) can have many ongoing effects
Adult trauma - Traumatic experiences in adulthood can negatively impact your attachment styles and, thus, relationships
Anxiety and depression
General anxiety - Anxiety you are experiencing may be linked to an insecure attachment style
Depressive disorders - Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and depression may be linked to underlying attachment problems
Emotional regulation
In attachment therapy, you can learn how to develop healthier ways to manage and express your emotions
Low self-esteem
By healing your attachment wounds, you can enhance your sense of self-worth and self-confidence
Attachment disorders
Disinhibited Social Engagement Disorder (DSED) - In children, familiarity with strangers and nonselective sociability can be signs of DSED
Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) - RAD may emerge in children, teens, and adults who experienced early neglect or inconsistent caregiving
Behavioral problems
Attachment-related behavioral concerns - Some behaviors may stem from an insecure attachment, like withdrawal, excessive seeking of approval, and clinginess
Aggression and defiance - Children and adolescents who do not know how to express their emotions may act out by be aggressive or defiant
Social skills and the ability to form healthy peer relationships
Social anxiety - In order to form and maintain relationships, you may need to overcome your social anxiety first
Peer relationships - In attachment-based psychotherapy, your child or teen can learn how to navigate peer relationships to learn healthy coping mechanisms
Adoption and foster care problems
Adoption adjustment - Adopted children and their families may have a hard time building a secure attachment style as this life transition can come along with feelings of loss and identity concerns
Foster care obstacles - Children in foster care who have gone through several different home placements experienced disruptions in their attachment
How to use attachment styles in therapy
According to therapy for attachment issues, there are four attachment styles that a person can fall under. The four primary attachment styles reflect patterns of behavior and interactions in relationships based on early attachment occurrences.
The four attachment styles are as follows:
A secure attachment style
An anxious-preoccupied attachment style
A dismissive-avoidant attachment style
A fearful-avoidant (disorganized) attachment style
Secure attachment therapy
A secure attachment style is the ideal attachment style to have since you feel equally comfortable with both intimacy and independence. Generally speaking, someone with this attachment style has a positive view of themselves and the people around them so they are able to form healthy, fulfilling connections.
A securely attached individual can trust other people, and reach out for support when needed. If their partner needs support, they can be there for them as well. It is not very difficult for a securely attached person to maintain a stable relationship.
A parent must be consistent in order to have a child develop into a secure attachment style. They must be reliable, available, and supportive, providing their child with a deep sense of comfort.
To figure out if you have a secure attachment style, ask yourself the following questions:
Do you feel confident that you can maintain healthy relationships?
Do you tend to view yourself and other people positively?
Are you comfortable having both intimacy and independence?
Are you able to express your emotions and needs to your partner?
2. Anxious attachment style therapy
Someone with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style looks for high levels of intimacy and approval from their significant other(s). They may see other people in a positive light but they struggle with a poor self-image.
In relationships, an individual with an anxious attachment style may come off as clingy, too dependent, and extremely sensitive to their partner’s actions, moods, and behaviors. They typically fear that their partner will reject or abandon them.
In order for this type of attachment style to develop, a caregiver or parent was inconsistently responsive which made the child question their caregiver’s reliability and availability.
To figure out if you have an anxious attachment style, ask yourself the following questions:
Do you fear abandonment?
Do you have a strong reaction to rejection?
Do you feel overly dependent on your significant other?
Do you worry about your partner’s commitment to you?
Do you seek constant reassurance from your partner?
3. Dismissive avoidant therapy
A person with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style is fiercely independent and self-sufficient. They typically make it a point to avoid close relationships and deep intimacy. They may view themselves in a positive light but see others quite negatively.
A dismissive-avoidant person may seem emotionally unavailable or distant when they are in a relationship. Generally, they do not like to depend on other people for anything. Emotional closeness may not be their strong suit and they tend to suppress their emotions.
A caregiver may have been rejecting, neglectful, or unavailable, leading to the development of a dismissive-avoidant attachment style. This led the child to become overly self-reliant that they completely dismiss the importance of close relationships.
To figure out if you have a dismissive-avoidant attachment style, ask yourself the following questions:
Do you find it difficult to depend on other people?
Do you view close relationships as a threat to your independence?
Do you suppress your emotions?
Do you prefer to keep a distance from other people to maintain your autonomy?
4. Disorganized attachment in therapy
If someone has a fearful-avoidant attachment style, they exhibit both anxious and avoidant behaviors. They may view themselves and other people negatively which leads them to craving both intimacy and rejection at the same time.
In relationships, they may come off as being confused or even conflicted. On one hand, they fear being too close and, on the other hand, they fear being too distant. Their relationships can be unpredictable.
Trauma or a deep emotional pain likely occurred in childhood. This is where the caregiver provides comfort while also presenting as a source of fear. Inconsistent or abusive caregiving may result in disorganized attachment behaviors.
To figure out if you have a fearful-avoidant (disorganized) attachment style, ask yourself the following questions:
Do you have a history of unstable relationships?
Do you feel unsure of how to act in relationships?
Do you experience conflicting emotions wanting intimacy but feeling anxious about being vulnerable?
Do you desire closeness but also fear being too close to another person?
What is the goal of attachment-based therapy?
The main goal of attachment-based therapy is to help you develop healthier, more secure attachment patterns and relationships. Early caregiving experiences can shape your emotional development, but they do not have to dictate your future if you do not want them to.
The first step of attachment therapy is to help you recognize and understand attachment patterns. You learn how to comprehend your own attachment patterns to a high degree which gives you insight into how it also affects your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in a relationship.
Attachment-related traumas or disruptions from childhood can be fixed in attachment based counseling. These unhealed attachment wounds can add to relationship problems and/or emotional distress.
Developing a secure attachment style involves a high degree of trust and emotional resilience. This can be done by improving emotional regulation, such as the ability to recognize, express, and regulate your feelings in a healthy manner in relationships. This also may be done through enhancing interpersonal skills, such as empathy, communication, and conflict resolution.
Any type of mental health counseling inevitably involves a certain degree of self-exploration, diving deeper into your level of self-awareness and self-reflection. In attachment therapy, you will explore how your internal working models shape your perceptions and interactions with other people.
If you are intrigued by the idea of exploring how early relationships in childhood and adolescence impact your current emotions, behaviors, and patterns, attachment-based mental health counseling can give you valuable insights.
Healing attachment-related wounds through attachment-based psychotherapy focuses on relationships. That is to say, if you seek to improve the relationships in your life, therapy for attachment issues may be the answer for you.
If you are struggling with relationship problems, emotional regulation issues, and other attachment wounds, attending attachment-based mental health counseling can offer you a range of benefits.
If you attend attachment issues treatment, you can anticipate the following benefits:
Insight into attachment patterns
Healing trauma and neglect
Improved relationships
Emotional management
Exploration of self
Better self-esteem
Promoting secure parent-child dynamics
Prevention of future relationship issues
At Anchor Therapy, our attachment-based therapists can offer a secure, comforting environment- whether you join us in-person at our downtown Hoboken, New Jersey office or see us for virtual therapy sessions as a resident of New Jersey, New York, or Florida. We encourage you to work through attachment-related issues.
By addressing underlying attachment issues and promoting emotional expression, we can get to the root cause of your attachment concerns so your life can be filled with satisfying relationships. Attachment therapy can be beneficial for people who experienced disruptions or challenges in early childhood caregiving dynamics.
How Can I Start attachment-based therapy at Anchor Therapy?
WORKING WITH anchor therapy IS EASY
Fill out the contact form below.
An intake coordinator will respond to your email, matching you with an attachment-based therapist on our team.
Soon you will learn how to heal from past wounds and develop better emotional resilience!
