Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

jersey city therapist

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How Mental Health Counseling Can Help Your Decision Fatigue

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How Mental Health Counseling Can Help Your Decision Fatigue

Hot or iced coffee? Paper or plastic straw? Debit card or credit card? Take the train or drive to work? Take the stairs or take the elevator? It is estimated that the average adult makes 35,000 conscious decisions every single day according to PBS News. Out of those estimated 35,000 decisions, not all of them are straightforward. 

At times, your decisions may be more difficult ones. For instance, maybe you and your partner are deciding if you should move in with one another. If you are in this position, read our blog “How To Know If It’s The Right Time To Move In With Your Partner.” On the other hand, maybe you are deciding if your teen should remain in public school or apply for admission to a private high school. Check out our blog “How To Support Your Teen Through High School and College Application Anxiety.”

The amount of decisions you have to make and the complexity of those choices can leave you feeling emotionally, mentally, and physically depleted. It can do this so much that a simple question like “Do you want a soda or water with your dinner?” feels like an impossible riddle to solve. If this is resonating with you, you may be dealing with decision fatigue.

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Is It Normal To Feel Worse After A Therapy Session?

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Is It Normal To Feel Worse After A Therapy Session?

Your 45-minute weekly session with your licensed mental health counselor is coming to an end, but your feelings are not magically going to go away. In fact, you feel horrible after chatting with your therapist. Now, you feel frustrated and maybe worse than before you started mental health counseling. After all, therapy is supposed to make you feel better, right?

But, do not worry! It is normal to feel bad after your counseling session, especially if you are in the beginning stages of your therapeutic journey of self-improvement. Although it may sound counterintuitive, feeling bad after therapy can actually be a good sign as it shows that you are really putting the work into your emotional health, dealing with difficult emotions and discussing past traumas. 

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Dr. Orna Guralnik's Couples Therapy Show: A Window into Real Relationships

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Dr. Orna Guralnik's Couples Therapy Show: A Window into Real Relationships

Dr. Orna Guralnik, is a New York City-based Clinical Psychologist and Psychoanalyst, who rose to fame due to her hit Showtime television show, Couples Therapy. Couples Therapy is a documentary series that follows couples as they try to navigate their troubles and concerns. This unscripted series features real couples from the greater New York City area.

As viewers work through the show’s three seasons, they are taught to view the therapeutic process through a lens of compassion and empathy instead of hastiness. Episode by episode, viewers are immersed into the real world of couples counseling, viewing the progress and occasional backsliding of couples.

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Is There A Way To Overcome Claustrophobia?

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Is There A Way To Overcome Claustrophobia?

Claustrophobia is a situational phobia that is caused by an intense and irrational fear of tight or crowded spaces. This fear of confined spaces can become an issue when the phobia interferes with your ability to function in daily life whether that be at work, school, or other activities. 

If we really wanted to, we could rationalize many fears. For example, you may have a fear of flying, also known as aerophobia, due to losing a loved one in a plane crash. This grief may have caused second-hand trauma which left you feeling extremely scared. If this is something you struggle with, check out our past blog “8 Tips To Overcome Flight Anxiety.”

We all try to avoid things or places that make us feel uncomfortable, but there is a distinct difference between a fear and a phobia. A phobia is an intense and irrational fear toward a thing(s) or situation(s). With phobias, it is also important to note that the fear you are experiencing does not match the actual danger presented in the feared situation or object.

When your phobia interferes with your ability to complete basic daily tasks, it is highly recommended that you seek the help of a phobia specialist. Phobias can negatively impact your life, straining your relationships and lowering your self-esteem. 

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What Is Considered Intergenerational Trauma?

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What Is Considered Intergenerational Trauma?

While you may not have heard of the term “intergenerational trauma”, you may have heard the coined phrase “generational curse.” Intergenerational trauma, or a generational curse in simpler terms, refers to trauma that is passed from a trauma survivor onto the family’s descendants. If you are experiencing intergenerational trauma, you may be living through symptoms, reactions, patterns, and the emotional and physical effects of a loved one’s trauma, such as a parent or grandparent.

This concept of trauma throughout multiple lifespans was developed to explain years of generational challenges within a given family unit. Essentially, it is the transmission of trauma, being sent down to younger generations. If you and your family are struggling with generational trauma, continue to read this blog for much-needed support and guidance.

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The 8 Forms of Self-Care & How You Can Practice Them

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The 8 Forms of Self-Care & How You Can Practice Them

In recent years, the term “self-care” has almost become a buzzword. It is thrown around a lot which can allow it to lose its meaning and sense of importance in everyday life. It has been estimated that the Google searches for “self-care” have quadrupled since 2018. For other people, they may even view self-care to be a selfish or self-indulgent activity that they have no time for. 

Simply put, self-care means taking care of yourself so that you can feel healthy, do your job, and care for others. When you practice an adequate amount of self-care, your cup gets filled, ensuring that you can check off all the tasks on your to-do list for the day while feeling emotionally, mentally, and physically well.

The truth is that we are living in a mental health crisis where millions of Americans are dealing with anxiety and depression. That is to say, many people feel it and understand the effects. Self-care is a part of the equation when it comes to addressing mental health concerns. When you take care of yourself, you are able to cope better with daily stressors. If you find yourself needing help with managing your daily stressors, check out our blog “Everything You Need To Know About Stress Management Therapy.”

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Men’s Mental Health: Why You Need To Ask For Help

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Men’s Mental Health: Why You Need To Ask For Help

Generally speaking, mental health has been an overlooked topic. Up until recently, mental health has not been discussed, or even acknowledged, publicly. Slowly but surely, times are starting to change but these changing tides do not always include all groups of people. More specifically, men are often exempt from the discussion on mental health issues.

The mental health of boys and men is rarely talked about even though it can take a heavy toll on their lives. When mental health issues go untreated, it can have serious impacts on one’s quality of life and physical health, going as far as to impact their life expectancy. Ignored emotional and mental health problems impact a man’s ability to fully function in society and within his family. 

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How Childhood Trauma Can Cause Anxiety, Depression, & PTSD

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How Childhood Trauma Can Cause Anxiety, Depression, & PTSD

Childhood trauma can have a long lasting impact on people. If you suffer from childhood trauma, you may be more at risk for developing anxiety, depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and other mental disorders. By unpacking your trauma with a trauma therapist or anxiety counselor, you'll be able to process those memories and emotions, and feel like your best self again!

What Is Childhood Trauma?

Childhood trauma is the experience of an event by a child or teen that is emotionally painful or distressful, which often results in lasting mental and physical effects. Childhood trauma can occur when a child witnesses or experiences overwhelming negative events in childhood. Children are too young to process events they experienced which causes them to repress, or bury, the memory.

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3 Ways to Manage Your Physical Anxiety Symptoms

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3 Ways to Manage Your Physical Anxiety Symptoms

If you have anxiety, you know what it feels like to be worried, nervous, and/or afraid about typical everyday events. Your anxiety can feel upsetting and difficult to manage. Anxiety can make your life a daily struggle, and may even leave you questioning many things- from your safety to your own anxiety symptoms. 

Oftentimes, anxiety can physically manifest in your body. Many people may think that they are being dramatic or simply imagining the physical symptoms of anxiety, but they are 100% real. Some people with anxiety may experience physical symptoms while others may not. 

Think back to a time where you felt nervous. Perhaps you were preparing for a big presentation at work and you noticed that your palms started to sweat and your legs felt shaky. Maybe you were preparing for a first date, and started to experience some dating anxiety. You may have begun to feel sick to your stomach and experienced an increased heart rate. You might have linked these physical symptoms to nervousness, but were unsure of the exact reason as to why you did not feel good.

Most people will experience anxiety on occasion; however, if you have an anxiety disorder, these feelings and symptoms may be the norm for you.

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Am I Experiencing Complicated & Traumatic Grief?

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Am I Experiencing Complicated & Traumatic Grief?

Have you recently lost someone close to you and now you feel like the world has lost its purpose? Or did a serious relationship traumatically end? Did you recently learn that you are unable to have children? Whatever it is, you are not alone. When you go through a traumatic event like the ones listed above, you may be at risk for experiencing grief. 

What Is Grief?

Grief is a common emotional response (in some cases a physical response) that you feel after experiencing a loss from a disaster or traumatic event. Anyone can experience grief, and the effects and experiences differ from each person to the next. Feelings may range from deep sadness to anger outbursts. A person's grief largely depends on their personal attachment to what was lost.

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How Play Therapy Can Improve Your Child’s Mental Health

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How Play Therapy Can Improve Your Child’s Mental Health

Play therapy is a form of therapy primarily used for children. Due to their age, many children are unable to process their own emotions and articulate their problems to parents or other adults. Therefore, play therapy swoops in to save the day!

While, on the surface, play therapy may just look like normal playtime, it is actually so much more than that. A trained child therapist uses playtime to observe and gain insight into your child’s issues. Your play therapist for kids helps your child explore their emotions and even deal with any unresolved trauma they may be experiencing. Through play, your child learns how to redirect any inappropriate behavior and gains new coping skills that you can utilize through many life transitions.

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4 Ways to Cope with Postpartum Depression (PPD)

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4 Ways to Cope with Postpartum Depression (PPD)

When you experience the miracle and joy of childbirth, you can expect a lot of powerful emotions. You may feel excited, overwhelmed, fearful, or even anxious, but one emotion you do not expect to feel is depressed. Having a baby is a life-changing life transition. It is normal to experience worry or doubt, especially as a first-time parent; however, more extreme symptoms, such as severe mood swings and frequent crying spells, may signal that you are struggling with Postpartum Depression, often referred to as PPD.

PPD is a type of depression that occurs after someone gives birth. It is important to note that postpartum depression does not just impact the birthing person- it can also impact the other parent, surrogates, and adoptive parents. After having a baby, adults can experience hormonal, physical, emotional, financial, and social changes. These changes can trigger symptoms of PPD.

If you have PPD, please know that you are not alone. It is not your fault, and there are PPD therapists out there who can assist you, making you feel like your best self again. When you work with a therapist for PPD, you can learn how to effectively manage your symptoms.

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How To Support Your Teen Through High School and College Application Anxiety

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How To Support Your Teen Through High School and College Application Anxiety

The season of high school and college acceptances is upon us. By this time of the year, most students have an idea of where they will be heading in the fall whether it is a great magnet high school or a dream college a plane ride away. In a few weeks, students will sigh a final breath of relief when they commit to a school but, in the meantime, these last few moments of indecision can be painful and anxiety-ridden. Additionally, some teens and young adults may be grappling with the sting of rejection, forcing them to rethink their entire futures. 


The impact of your child’s stress during this entire process should not be overlooked. This process can also be grueling for you as a parent. You may be going through the ups and downs of the high school and college admissions process with your child as the acceptances, rejections, and waitlists roll in. When your teen is accepted, feelings of joy and excitement may overcome them. On the other hand, if your child is rejected, or even waitlisted, they may be completely and utterly devastated, especially if they are denied from their dream high school or college. This experience undeniably plays a role in your teen’s mental health.

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Feeling Stressed and Anxious in College? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Can Help

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Feeling Stressed and Anxious in College? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Can Help

The pressures that college students face can be extremely overwhelming. As a college student, you may be balancing many aspects of life all at once. Attempting to balance a healthy social life while putting copious amounts of time and effort into good grades can get tricky. Don't forget the financial challenges coupled with living independently and trying to maintain emotional and physical health. Among all of these hardships, students reportedly face the most anxiety when it comes to academics. 

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3 Steps to Overcoming Agoraphobia

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3 Steps to Overcoming Agoraphobia

Agoraphobia, a rare type of anxiety disorder, involves being afraid of certain situations or places that make you feel trapped. Oftentimes, agoraphobia is mischaracterized. People may believe that the disorder only consists of a fear of open spaces; however, the reality of the disorder is much more complex. In addition to the fear or feeling of being trapped, there is a standard fear of feeling helpless or being embarrassed in public situations which may spark a panic attack.

The triggers of agoraphobia vary from person-to-person. For example, for some people, a trigger may be an airplane while, for others, it is standing in a line at the grocery store waiting to checkout. Agoraphobia is not necessarily the fear of one place specifically. Instead, it is the fear that, if something bad were to occur, escape would be difficult. Because of this, another fear is developed about potentially having a panic attack in public.

When you confront agoraphobia, it can be difficult. If you struggle with the disorder, you are used to living life in an automatic state of dread. This fear can become so large that you avoid going in public at all costs, particularly in areas that are especially crowded. Overcoming agoraphobia can be a painstakingly difficult process since it involves confronting your fears, but please know it is completely possible! Overcoming agoraphobia does not occur overnight. With the help of a therapist for agoraphobia, you can get back to feeling like your best self again.

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Anger Management Counseling for Teens

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Anger Management Counseling for Teens

Does your teen blow up at any mention of rules and structure? Do you feel like you have to walk on eggshells in your own home? If this resonates with you, you are not alone. The teenage years can be turbulent times. Your teen is going through a lot, trying to figure out their place in the world and what their next steps are as they transition into adulthood.

It is typical for teens to desire more freedom as they get older. You may find that your teen is pushing boundaries which is normal but, in some cases, it can spiral out of control. Anger itself is not a problem as anger is a normal emotion. Instead, your teen may not be able to manage their emotions, including anger, well which is an issue.

Anger can build up over time if someone is passive or does not establish clear boundaries. This may lead to your teen going from 0 to 100 and lashing out on you and other family members. How people react with anger can reveal a lot about their emotional well-being.

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What We Learned From The Relationship Dynamic of Succession’s Shiv and Tom

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What We Learned From The Relationship Dynamic of Succession’s Shiv and Tom

Succession, a comedy-drama television series, has been a HBO hit show since its release in 2018. The television series follows the Roy family who are the owners of Waystar Roy Company, a global media and entertainment empire. The family’s patriarch, Logan Roy, runs the show at Waystar Roy Company while his four children fight for control of the company due to Logan’s wavering health.

Logan has four children- three sons and one daughter. Logan’s oldest son Connor Roy is generally estranged from the family, and does not have much interest in the family company. Instead, Connor has readjusted his interest to politics, setting his sights on the United States presidency. Next is Logan’s power-hungry son, Kendall Roy. Kendall wants to take over the company but has not yet been able to gain his dad’s full vote of confidence. One part of Kendall’s rocky professional and personal relationships is his struggle with substance abuse. Logan’s third son, Roman Roy, is perhaps one of the most dynamic characters of the show, but his constant lack of focus and low maturity level prevent him from advancing in the company. Finally, Siobhan Roy, also known as “Shiv”, has natural leadership skills and closely resembles her father. At first, she rather put her focus into politics, working as a political consultant; however, she decides to jump ship to Waystar once she spots an opportunity. 

One of the most interesting relationship dynamics of the series is the connection between Shiv Roy and her husband, Tom Wambsgans. For any fan of the hit-show Succession, the power differences between Shiv and Tom seem apparent. From Shiv’s tense looks and cutthroat nature to Tom’s vulnerability and looks of defeat after conversations with the Roy family, their relationship is dictated by power differences and incomplete exchanges.

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How to Heal After Infidelity

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How to Heal After Infidelity

The truth is that working through an affair in a relationship is difficult. On both sides, it requires a great deal of vulnerability, energy, time, work, and commitment. Affair recovery is a process of healing your relationship on a mental, emotional, and physical level after infidelity occurs. Typically, the process of recovery after infidelity can take anywhere from six months to two years, but it is important to remember that each couple is unique. For some couples, it may take a little shorter or longer to fully recover.

The painful process of recovery after an affair requires compassion, strength, and humility. An affair does equate to intense emotional pain; however, that pain does not have to end a relationship. There are ways to rebuild your connection with your partner even after an affair if you are both willing and able to put in the work.

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Your Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Trauma at College

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Your Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Trauma at College

In any given semester, college level students experience a multitude of stressors and possible trauma. On college campuses, it is reported that nearly two thirds of college students have experienced or been exposed to a traumatic event while being at school. 

Trauma occurs when you experience a terrifying or life threatening event that leaves you in shock or fear. This can range from constant stress to experiencing an assault. While balancing your education, social life, mental and physical well-being, trauma may weigh heavily on you and make it hard to complete everyday tasks. 

If you are experiencing trauma at school, you are not alone.

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3 Ways to Overcome Health Anxiety

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3 Ways to Overcome Health Anxiety

If you have health anxiety, you have an irrational and obsessive worry that you have a serious medical condition. Health anxiety takes other names, such as hypochondria and illness anxiety. Overall, healthy anxiety is marked when you have an imagination of physical symptoms of an illness.

In other cases, you may misinterpret minor or normal bodily sensations as symptoms of a serious disease. Even if medical professionals reassure you that you do not have an illness, you may have a hard time believing them and trusting their professional advice.