Normally, the holidays can be a stressful time to plan around different family, friend, and job celebrations. With the COVID-19 pandemic, the stress of the holidays has been at an all time high. With the colder weather approaching along with the holiday season, a lot of people are worried how they will continue to socialize safely with others. The best part about the holiday season is that you are spending time with people you care most about. It is typical to see some family or friends once a year due to the holidays. This year, it is not only hard to travel but it is also stressful to figure out how to plan holiday celebrations while feeling safe.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, and life transitions. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing telehealth (video/phone) sessions to residents of New Jersey and New York.
Figure out what makes you the most comfortable
Before talking to anyone else, make your own decision as to what you’re the most comfortable doing. Keep up to date with what the medical professionals and governing bodies are recommending for your area. If the potential plan is to travel for the holiday, look into what the statistics are for the virus in the area which you would be traveling to. Look up what the guidelines are to self-isolate for 14 days if that state has a specific requirement. Do your own research first before talking to the people involved in the holiday plans. Look at the updated information that is out there about the virus and then ask whoever you would be spending time with for the holidays who they have been interacting with, where they plan to travel to outside of their home the few weeks leading up to you seeing them, and check in if they have been wearing a mask, washing their hands, and social distancing. After you collect this information, you can then make an informed decision as to what you feel comfortable doing.
The 2020 holiday season is unfortunately not a normal time and it is expected that some traditions will have to shift this year. If you are anxious about getting sick or that you could get someone else sick then it may be a good decision to come up with an alternate plan so that you do not experience heightened anxiety throughout the entire holiday season.
Discuss with your partner what they are comfortable with
If you have a partner in your life then planning what you will be doing for the holidays becomes twice as complicated. In a typical year, you may find yourself attending multiple family gatherings for each holiday and traveling nonstop. You and/or your partner may have work holiday parties and friend get togethers as well around the holiday season. This time of year can get very hectic to schedule anything around because there are so many holiday events to attend. This year, you will have to have a conversation with your partner to prioritize what holiday events mean the most to you so that you can focus on less planning.
If your partner has different views and risk levels than you, it may feel impossible to come up with a plan for the holidays. You want to hear your partner out and what their thoughts are around the holidays. You will then share what your worries may be about the plan. You should then communicate effectively to make sure that both of you are comfortable with whatever you decide to do. With relationships comes compromise, but when it comes to feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and anxious you may want to lean on the side of caution so that both of you feel as safe as possible. It also will not be good for your relationship if one, or both, of you is overly anxious for months around the holidays.
Come up with several alternate plans
If 2020 has taught you anything, it is that you need to accept that plans may have to change that are outside of your control. To help with the feeling of helplessness that has come along with this pandemic, you can take some control by creating alternate plans. You can list these plans out in order so that you know which plan to move to if the first one doesn’t work out and so on. You can also make contingencies for these plans such as the COVID-19 cases in a specific area have to be below a certain number or that the people you plan to see distance from others for the few weeks leading up to the holiday.
Communicate your decision to your family, friends, and colleagues about your plans for the holidays
If you do not feel comfortable with a plan in place to celebrate the holiday season then you should communicate this sooner rather than later. Let them know that you are not comfortable with attending the celebration due to the pandemic and that you hope they understand. Try to offer an alternate plan in which you celebrate with them online or in a different way this year.
Be flexible
Even with all of your planning and trying to remain as safe as you comfortably can, things may still go awry. So far, you have survived 2020 as you are still here and you are starting to plan out the end of the year. If something happens to ruin your plans, you will have to take a deep breath and then handle whatever is dealt to you. This year you must be flexible in order to make it through.
Remain calm and practice self-care
Take extra time out of your daily schedule to relax during the holiday season. This year has brought a lot of anxiety and stress. The holidays are typically a stressful time with so many events to plan around and people to see. This year the holidays are going to look different and it may make you feel worse. You need to find something that will bring you a little joy and relaxation at least once a day for a few minutes. It’s impossible to navigate the stress of holiday planning during a pandemic unless you are in a good head space to do so.
Get support from a therapist
The holiday season is a common time for people to seek out therapy services since it is typically a stressful time and can bring up relationship issues and loss. During the pandemic, the need for therapy has greatly increased due to the stress, anxiety, and loss that most people have been experiencing. A therapist can be a sounding board and someone to bounce ideas off of so that you feel confident in your decision making when it comes to holiday planning. A therapist can also help you with how to communicate to others that you are not going to spend the holidays with them this year or whatever you decide on that may feel scary to bring up.
Courtney Glashow, LCSW
is a licensed psychotherapist practicing in Hoboken, New Jersey. She specializes in helping teens and adults with anxiety, depression, and life transitions through counseling. Courtney can help NY or NJ residents through telehealth (video/phone) therapy sessions as well.
