Many of us have heard of the term “high functioning addict”, yet this term is a bit of an oxymoron. This concept references individuals that use substances frequently but have yet to hit the notion of a “rock bottom”. They do not fit the typical media stereotype of an addict- someone who is using all day long, struggling with unemployment, estranged from family, and not being able to handle any responsibilities.
“High functioning addicts” balance successful careers, manage their household responsibilities, lead active social lives while keeping their substance use private and hidden from loved ones. These individuals have managed to avoid a “rock bottom”. High functioning addicts tend to feel that their substance use is a bit excessive, but largely under control because their career, family, money and social life continue to function.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, and life transitions. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing telehealth (video/phone) sessions to residents of New Jersey and New York.
Why is being a “high functioning addict” a problem?
High functioning addicts are individuals that do not fall into the obvious stereotypes or clear black and white categories that society has developed of addiction. These stereotypes tend to be exaggerated, stigmatized and outdated! Life is full of gray areas. Yet, just because you have not crashed and burned does not mean your behaviors are void of any problems. Substance use can lead to a range of problems depending on the particular individual.
You may start to notice the following signs:
Increasing arguments with your partner
Sleeping in late
Losing interest in hobbies or exercise
Weight fluctuation
You may also realize you are incorporating drinking, or using, into more of your everyday activities such as at most socializing events and replacing your leisure activities.
You may be telling yourself:
You deserve to unwind
You are more social this way
You have more fun when you are indulging!
However, the reality is you are starting to realize that it is becoming more of a craving and an uncontrolled negative habit.
The truth is, while the increasing in drinking or using begins as a way to unwind or have fun, it typically transitions into a habitual, routine. You begin to realize that you feel like you are missing out if you do not have a drink with dinner, or you make the conscious choice to go out for drinks even when you know you could benefit from a chill night in. You begin waking up in the morning more and more sluggish and start to feel the physical ramifications of your substance use. You may stop exercising or participating in healthy hobbies because you feel crummy from the previous night of indulgence. These are the beginning signs that your substance use is becoming more compulsive and less about relaxing. Your use may not have become a full-blown addiction yet, but you are beginning to experience the consequences of your new routine.
Substance use escalates if not treated
While your consequences are mounting as a result of increasing substance use, you still manage to keep it pretty private. You are working full-time, but are finding that your partner is increasingly frustrated and things are looking a bit more out of control. You may realize that a lot of your socializing revolves around people or places that involve drinking or using. You have even attempted to limit your drinking or use but these attempts have been short lasting.
As a high functioning addict, it may feel like you get away with your regular drinking or substance use because you are able to hold down your most important responsibilities. Yet, you have not fooled yourself and realize that other activities, behaviors, and/or relationships are suffering. Your partner may be upset with the frequency you use, but you just respond that they are exaggerating and you are still making it to work daily, so it is fine. The reality is, that you know it is not fine! Being a high functioning addict can make it more difficult to recognize that you have a problem and also does not provide you with the structure or accountability to make the necessary changes to your habits. You use denial, minimization, justification and other tools at your disposal to keep the habits going without getting the wrath or consequences from outside parties.
Without long term changes, you will begin to find your life becoming more and more unmanageable. It is important to seek help before we get to a point of no return. Substance use can escalate quickly from harmless to catastrophic. You can soon find yourself jeopardizing your job, relationships, health and overall well-being. Substance use should be looked at as a train rather than the idea of a rock bottom. At any point you can make the choice to get off of the train and go in another direction!
How Therapy Can Help
Many people may find themselves indulging in drinking or substances on a regular basis but it has become so routine it feels strange to change. You are not enjoying the aftermath of a night of drinking or the frequency you may be indulging in substances, but find it daunting to change! Seeking therapy is a necessary and vital step in tackling this problem and regaining control over your life.
Meeting with a therapist weekly can help you acknowledge the behavior and begin to put in the steps needed to make long lasting changes. Therapy provides positive and non-judgmental support while also giving you the accountability needed to incorporate constructive steps forward.
Therapy will help you develop the following healthy habits:
Keep you distracted from the cravings of addiction
Improve your ability to cope productively with the emotions that trigger substance use
Introduce healthier attitudes about alcohol or drug use
Increase healthy hobbies
Better your mood
Improve your relationships
Help you thrive at work
Through your work with a professional therapist who specializes in substance abuse and addiction, you will notice positive shifts in your mood, relationships, and overall well-being. You will find the craving to drink or use diminish and instead find yourself looking forward to the increased sense of peace and wellness. Counseling will help you transform your attitudes and beliefs about substance use and incorporate the mindset necessary to make those changes last! Therapy will get you started on a positive road towards self-fulfillment and success.
Elena Lucanie, LPC, LMHC
is a licensed psychotherapist practicing in Hoboken, New Jersey. She specializes in helping teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, substance abuse, relationship issues, and life transitions through counseling. Elena can help NJ and NY residents through telehealth (video/phone) therapy sessions as well.
