This previous year of 2020 has definitely been a tough one for just about everyone. It’s important to acknowledge that we made it through the year, and you are forging forward. Many people have experienced losses and challenges since the COVID-19 virus began. Those losses may have been the life of a loved one, a job, a business, a recent living environment, and major life events.
You may have had to postpone, reschedule, or cancel your wedding plans or a special celebration. Maybe you had a virtual party for a once in a lifetime event. Many of you had not planned to celebrate your birthday the way that you did this year. The number of trips you tried to plan and had to cancel is becoming too large to count on one hand. You had planned to switch jobs or were up for a promotion, and that was put on hold in March.
These losses and challenges may have created a lasting impression on you, and it’s okay to need assistance in processing these emotions. In order to move forward, it can be helpful to look back and process your emotions of the past year.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, and life transitions. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing telehealth (video/phone) sessions to residents of New Jersey and New York.
Processing the Year 2020:
How did you respond to the challenges of this year?
Many people experienced significant depression and anxiety during this year. There are several ways to address depression and anxiety, but you may have found yourself feeding into the depression. You may have spent a few extra hours in bed in the morning unable to find the motivation to move. You may have had a few additional glasses of wine on a Tuesday night with your dinner. And you may have stopped participating in those YouTube workouts back in April. Or maybe you took this year’s struggles in stride and started your own business, started or grew your family, or listened to your mind and started therapy. We are respond differently when faced with a crisis, including a global pandemic.
How do you overcome those challenges?
Depression and anxiety typically do not just go away on their own. Hopefully, many people have implemented self-care into their routines. Bubble baths are one of the best ways to soothe and care for yourself at home. It can relax your mind along with the muscles in your body. Journaling is another great way to cope with worries, depression, and anxiety. Journaling can keep your thoughts organized, and allow you to self reflect at a later date.
Creating boundaries and routines is another way to cope with life’s challenges. While many people were and still are working from home over the past 9 months, routines have become difficult to stick to. Eating schedules have changed significantly, and you may have found yourself skipping breakfast, and eating significantly more for lunch or dinner. You don’t have to completely change the way you are eating, but creating a healthier and more balanced eating pattern can help to decrease anxiety and depression. Cutting down the intake of coffee throughout the day can also be helpful. Many people don’t realize that excessive caffeine intake can significantly increase anxiety.
Your walk from the train or bus station to your office was not only your daily exercise, but your time for reflection. Now you find yourself not able to hit those 10,000 steps you committed to as your last New Year Resolution. There are several ways to continue to get in some exercise. Plan out your day by adding a few extra minutes in the morning to walk down the street. Shut that computer during lunch and take an actual lunch break. Now that it’s getting cold outside, it may be difficult to go out for lunch, but you can still have an enjoyable lunch experience. You can make a picnic at home to bring a little excitement into your work week. Take a few extra minutes over the weekend to brainstorm some new and exciting lunch and dinner options. Boredom can be a trigger for anxiety and depression, and that includes the boredom of the foods that we are eating.
What was your best moment or memory of 2020?
It has been so easy to think about the struggles of this past year. Almost everyone has experienced difficulties and losses in the year 2020. I encourage you to think about the year, beginning in January. Think about a healthy and happy conversation you had this year. Think about an exciting change you have made in your life. Identify the friends and family that support you and that you support in return. There are moments throughout this year that you downplay because you feel guilty for being happy. Do not feel guilty about your happiness! With so much uncertainty and struggles of the year, you deserve happiness!
Goals and Resolutions for 2021
It may be hard to see it this way, but going through this difficult year can actually help you in your future. You made it through one of the most difficult times that the country, and probably world, has ever been through. You may not realize it yet, but you have come out even stronger on the other side. We are about to enter a new year, and you can create a positive year ahead. Looking back at the previous year is a healthy way to start to create new goals and resolutions for the next coming year, which can help to motivate yourself to change and progress forward in your life. No, you do not have to wait for a new year to create goals for yourself, but there is something satisfying when you start from day 1.
Creating a New Year’s Resolution may be a yearly activity, or you may have never thought about this tradition before. Either way, these tips can help you to develop a meaningful resolution or goal going into the new year:
Don’t overwhelm yourself
Choose just one or two resolutions for the year. You can always change this along the way, but creating too many goals at once can lead to increased anxiety.
Think about the 8 dimensions of wellness. These 8 dimensions are typically the areas of our lives that we tend to succeed in, struggle with, or desire more of. When creating your resolution, choose one or two of the dimensions to focus on:
Physical
Emotional
Intellectual
Social
Spiritual
Environmental
Occupational
Financial
Add more to your life. Telling yourself that you won’t eat that pizza every weekend can make you feel down about the decisions you made last year. Instead of limiting your choices, add to them. As a resolution, you can add more vegetables to your weekly meal plan.
Ensure that the resolution or goal is realistic and reasonable.
As we close up the month of December, remember that each day that passes is a day closer to accomplishing your goals. You will never forget the different emotions that the past year has brought up, but you can use that as your motivation to make the next year your most successful, meaningful, and exciting year yet.
Michele Passman, LCSW
is a licensed psychotherapist practicing in Hoboken, New Jersey. She specializes in helping adults with anxiety, depression, substance abuse, relationship issues, and life transitions through counseling. Michele can help NJ residents through telehealth (video/phone) therapy sessions as well.
