Parenting Therapist
Parenting is the toughest job in the world whether you have a newborn child or a teenager. Parenting, like any other job, comes with its fair share of ups and downs. Happy moments can make you feel like you are on top of the world while stressful times and difficult life transitions may leave you questioning how to care for your child.
If you are a single parent or divorced from your child’s mother or father, parenting can look a little different. Additional personal problems and family hardships can add pressure to your shoulders. When families decide to separate and raise children separately, a million questions may begin to pop up in your mind about what co-parenting looks like.
Every parent experiences a lot of emotions when it comes to motherhood and fatherhood. All of these emotions and other occurrences can be hard to navigate all on your own. Luckily, with the help of a professional parenting coach at Anchor Therapy, a wide range of issues can be covered, including individual parenting, co-parenting; separation or divorce; mental health issues (e.g., dealing with a loved one’s anxiety, depression, etc.); substance abuse; and more.
What is parent therapy?
Many forms of therapy can benefit parents when you are facing a particularly challenging situation or even dealing with managing your emotions in relation to your children. You may seek family counseling for you and your spouse or co-parent, or family counseling including your child(ren) too. You also may find out throughout your search for a therapist that solo counseling for your child or teen may be more helpful.
Parenting counseling can give you the safe space you need to discuss your experience of parenting, including the highs and the more challenging moments. A parenting therapist will listen to you talk and ask thought-provoking questions so they can gain a greater sense of you and your special role within your family unit. Any parent and every family will reap the positive benefits of family counseling.
Parenting sessions can reveal a lot about you and your parenting style, helping you explore more about yourself and your personality. By engaging in this form of self-exploration, you learn how to face whatever challenges life throws at you head-on while learning how to parent and cope in a healthy way. You do not need to be facing a crisis to seek the help of a parenting counselor.
The following are some common parenting concerns that you may be facing:
Making decisions about schooling (e.g., what school you are going to send your child to, public vs private school, homeschooling, etc.)
Dealing with co-parenting and/or divorce
Arguing over getting homework and school assignments completed
Negotiating substance abuse issues
Your child may be getting picked on or bullied at school or online
Talking to your child about sex and/or sexuality
Negotiating parenting styles
Arguing over grades and school/home responsibilities
Raising well-balanced children
What are the goals of parent coaching?
If you are a couple who lives together, you may face disagreements on how to raise your child. You may be bringing certain assumptions, ideas, and experiences to your parenting experience. Parenting therapy can help you and your partner come to terms with your parenting styles so you can get on the same page as one another. It gives you an opportunity to align your needs, backgrounds, and beliefs.
In parenting counseling, you and your partner will learn to speak the same parenting language. You will come to understand what your child(ren) needs so you and your partner or co-parent can learn to work together instead of against one another. This can include using your knowledge about your child and family dynamic to create a behavioral plan you can implement.
At Anchor Therapy, we also offer co-parenting sessions for families. When we think of co-parents, we normally think about couples who have made the conscious decision to end their romantic connection and continue to raise their child. However, there are also intentional co-parenting situations.
Some example of intentional co-parent situations include:
Platonic co-parenting:
Two friends decide to have a child without having a romantic connection
LGBTQIA+ co-parenting:
LGBTQIA+ adults or couples may partner with friends or other LGBTQIA+ adults and/or couples to co-parent
Co-parenting partnerships:
Adults may meet through online platforms or co-parenting networks where it is designed to connect with other people who desire a co-parenting dynamic too
Multi-parent families:
More than two people may decide to co-parent together
In a co-parenting dynamic, the primary goal is intentional parenting.
Here are some goals of parent coaching:
Enhancing the parent-child relationship
Building confidence
Bettering parenting skills
Encouraging healthy child development
Advocating for positive behavior
Balancing parenting roles
Addressing unique challenges
Coping with life transitions
Fortifying co-parenting
If you are in the process of getting divorced or separated, you can imagine how difficult this life transition will be for your child, especially since you are experiencing a considerable amount of emotional distress yourself. Throughout the separation process, you will come to understand that a child needs a lot of reassurance. Your child may wonder if they are somehow at fault, or if they directly caused the separation. This task alone can be very demanding. You still have to lead your family as you navigate these new bumps in the road.
What is the purpose of co-parenting therapy?
If you were in a romantic relationship with your child’s other parent where it was filled with emotional conflict or pain, this can easily get into the world of parenting too. Perhaps you are asking your child about their mother or father’s new life post-separation or talking poorly about a co-parent in front of your child.
While it is hopeful to think that ending a relationship will end the conflict that you and the co-parent had in your romantic relationship, that is not always the case. More often than not there will be some wrinkles to iron out with the help of a family counselor.
An ex-partner may continue to be hurtful or even harmful towards you. How can you advocate for yourself while also prioritizing your child’s needs? It can feel like you have to jump through a million mental loops to make this happen. A co-parenting counselor can help provide an unbiased perspective and help you figure out how to run your new family operation.
In co-parenting counseling, you will learn how to make decisions that benefit your child instead of just solely you. It is neither you nor the other co-parent getting the upper hand. Everything is about the child and is rooted in your mutual love for your child.
As family counselors, we use our counseling skills to address conflict within your familial unit and work together as a team. We do not take sides or claim that one parent is always right while the other is always wrong. Instead, we provide a safe space so you and your co-parent can have open and honest conversations about your child. It is enough to simply be curious about the other co-parent’s opinion and position on key issues.
Generally speaking, as a parent you do not want to tell your child about the mishaps between you and their parent. From being cheated on to being blindsided by separation, it is okay to keep this information to yourself in order to not let it interfere with the relationship your child is building with their other parent. You do not have to characteristically critique the other parent.
Additionally, there are many logistical items that need to be considered in a co-parenting situation. When do the children visit dad? When is it mom’s weekend? How can we communicate these home changes in a way that puts our children at ease? Should similar rules be followed at each house (e.g., no screen time before bed)? And so on.
Parents split for a reason, but it can sometimes be difficult to communicate those reasons in a clear way. The most important thing is that you share love for your child and stay connected to the big picture- the health and happiness of your son and/or daughter.
How does child parent psychotherapy work?
Child-parent psychotherapy, often referred to as CPP, involves both the caregiver and the child. In this form of family therapy, the parent will learn strategies to lessen the number of problems that exist within the parent-child dynamic.
CPP therapy works off of attachment styles. It is generally thought that attachment styles occur naturally, but we are all born with different levels of love and an ability to protect our loved ones. For some people, parenting may come very naturally. For others, it is a learning curve and they need to learn concrete ways to be able to form a bond with their baby.
The four attachment styles are as follows:
A secure attachment style:
In this attachment style, people feel comfortable both with intimacy and independence. They can go on to form healthy, stable relationships as an adult. This attachment style has its childhood origins in consistent and responsive caregiving.
An anxious-preoccupied attachment style:
As adults, people with this attachment style tend to seek approval and responsiveness from other people. As a child, they may have experienced inconsistent caregiving. At times, a parent was there and responded to their needs, and other times their needs were neglected.
An avoidant-dismissive attachment style:
These individuals do not feel comfortable with closeness and any form of dependency. Caregivers were typically not sensitive to their child’s needs growing up or they were emotionally unavailable.
A fearful-avoidant (disorganized) attachment style - An adult with this attachment style experiences a mix of both anxiety and avoidance in relationships. It is normal for a fearful-avoidant person to feel confused about intimacy. Traumatic experiences or abuse can lead to caregivers offering both comfort and fear at the same time.
Research has proven time and time again that attachment styles play an important role in a child’s development. Without a healthy and secure attachment style, a child may ‘act out’ or experience mental health concerns.
What are the different parenting styles in therapy?
While your child depends on you, they are their own unique person, and this will become more evident as they get older, especially as they move into their teen years. Many parents say that the period of adolescence is the hardest parenting time. This is often because it is one of the first times when your child is going against something you are saying, showcasing opposition.
However, parenting styles also play a big role in the dynamic you have with your child. You may also feel like you and your partner or co-parent have different parenting styles which may be causing conflict. If you do not know your parenting style, family counseling will help reveal it.
Authoritative parenting is one form of parenting. An authoritative parent comes from the view of “what I say goes” or “no means no.” There is a certain sternness to them, and they always have to have the final say. If their child showcases emotions or is having a bad day, an authoritative parent may find it difficult to adjust their demeanor and general parenting style. Parenting counseling can actually teach an authoritative parent to be more empathetic which will improve their family unit.
Permissive parenting is the opposite of authoritative parenting. A permissive parent does not set strict rules or goals for their children. They largely let their children figure out situations on their own since they believe that is how they learn best. There can be benefits to this parenting style, but family therapy will help permissive parents strike a balance with authority.
Uninvolved parenting is the third and final form of parenting. This type of parent meets their child’s physical, basic needs but is then uninvolved in other areas of their life. For example, they provide their child with all of the essentials but they do not know much about their child’s social life or friend group at school.
An uninvolved parent does not really set boundaries. They do not give positive or negative reinforcement. This type of parenting can cause children to experience emotional hardship or mental health disorders since their emotional needs may not be getting met. An uninvolved parent can learn certain skills and parenting approaches in parenting counseling.
When you begin parent counseling at Anchor Therapy, you may feel overwhelmed. But, please take comfort in the fact that family counseling takes time. Be patient with yourself and your family as you manage the difficult situation at hand and practice self-compassion.
How Can I Start parenting therapy at Anchor Therapy?
WORKING WITH anchor therapy IS EASY
Fill out the contact form below.
One of our Intake Coordinators will respond to your client inquiry and match you with a parenting coach on our team. From there, we will reach out to you via email with further information on our services and how to schedule.
Feel good as you have just made a great decision for your family!
