As an entrepreneur, it is likely that you spend a significant amount of time working on your business. Do you feel like date nights are out of reach for you? If you have a partner, do you feel like you are two ships passing each other in the middle of the night? These are all common facets being in a relationship as a business owner, but you can change this dynamic if it is not working for your relationship.
Just like your business, being in a relationship requires love, care, time, and attention. So, is it possible to manage being a business owner and being in a romantic relationship? Absolutely! Keep reading for more information and tips on growing the relationships in your life, whether romantic or with family and friends, as a business owner.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with mental health therapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, couples, and families with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, life transitions, and more. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and teletherapy sessions to residents of New Jersey, New York, and Florida.
How to Date As A Business Owner
Dating is not easy as it is. When you couple dating as a business owner, it can become especially tricky.
As an entrepreneur, you are putting out fires, analyzing your goals, trying to make a profit, managing employees, and trying to keep your personal life together all day long. Being so preoccupied with work can make it feel like there is no time in your life for romance or to nurture the other important relationships you have. It is possible to have the best of both worlds, but it will take time and dedication (yes, even if it means on top of the long hours you work).
A Gallup poll has shown that 62% of business owners work over 50 hours per week. Additionally, 57% of small business owners say they work six days per week or more. Entrepreneurs are willing to put these extra hours in to reach their goals. As an entrepreneur, you may self-identify as a creative person who works around the clock and thinks of new ideas nonstop.
This is not a bad thing- it just means that you have to work out the kinks in your schedule a little more so you can set aside some free time for the ones you love. Maybe it is going to a dancing class with your partner, or heading to your parents’ house for a family dinner. It is likely that you are already using a physical calendar or an app to help you organize your schedule, so set an ‘appointment’ in your schedule to hang out with your loved ones just as you would do for a business meeting.
Being a business owner means needing to adapt to last-minute changes at a moment’s notice. You do not get the weekends or holidays off as you are constantly on the clock, especially if you have a team of employees who look up to you for guidance. While every relationship requires compromise on each partner’s behalf, you do need to be with a significant other who can understand your schedule and role as a business owner.
If you love working and your job makes you happy, you should not be expected to give it up entirely. In other words, you should not be given a “it is me or you job” ultimatum. You have a demanding and unpredictable work schedule as a business owner- it is not something you can help. Misunderstandings and conflict can occur if your partner does not understand the commitments you have as an entrepreneur.
Additionally, being with a romantic partner who understands your hectic lifestyle is important for the following reasons:
Emotional support
Time management
A shared vision
Personal well-being
A balanced life (For more information, read our past blog “3 Ways to Achieve Work-Life Balance”)
Being with an understanding partner, will…
Foster emotional stability
Promote mutual growth
Minimize conflict(s)
Maintain overall welfare
As an entrepreneur, you should seek out the following characteristics in a romantic partner:
Understanding:
A partner who understands your time schedule, work commitments, and other personal obligations will be immensely helpful along your romantic journey.
Empathy:
As an entrepreneur, you face a unique set of challenges, and having someone who understands that and can be supportive during tough times is great.
Supportiveness:
A partner who encourages your success can provide you with motivation and a healthy dose of self-confidence. (Check out our blog “The Ultimate Guide to Building Self-Confidence”)
Patience:
Building a successful business is not an easy path. After all, if it were easy, everyone would do it. A patient significant other will ride the ups and downs with you without adding more to your plate.
Independence:
You need time and space to focus on your work, and your partner should too. Having a partner who also values independence and the opportunity to explore their own interests is healthy.
Trust:
Trust is an important component of any relationship, and it can be especially important when you need to work for an extended period of time.
Positivity:
During challenging periods in your business, having a partner who is optimistic can lift your spirits.
Resilience:
Being a business owner is like being on a rollercoaster- there are high highs, low lows, anxiety, and stress. A resilient partner will give you the strength to keep pushing through in your job while providing a stable home life.
Shared values:
Shared values ensure longevity in any relationship. It is important to be on the same page about career goals, having and raising children, ambition, work-life balance, and overall lifestyle. If your values are the same, it is easier to come to a place of mutual understanding and respect.
Financial understanding:
Money is a major topic that many couples argue over. Entrepreneurship can come along with economic instability at times so, having a significant other who understands this, can prevent misunderstandings about finances. For guidance, read our blog “5 Ways to Solve Common Relationship Problems.”
The above characteristics are just some examples of traits you may look for when deciding on a romantic partner, so you can build a strong and healthy relationship. Obviously, every one and every relationship is unique, so you have to decide what works best for you ultimately.
Why Is It Hard To Date An Entrepreneur?
Achieving success as an entrepreneur is not all about making money. It extends way beyond that. It includes your physical health, mental health, sleep schedule, connection with family members, relationship satisfaction, and overall happiness.
As touched on previously, business owners have demanding schedules. You work long hours, including evenings and weekends, and this can leave little time for dating and maintaining relationships. You may even feel anxious about how you will maintain a relationship while working such grueling hours, leading to dating anxiety. For more information, read “How to Cope with Dating Anxiety.”
An unpredictable schedule can make it hard to commit to and maintain social plans, from going to happy hour with friends or having a cozy night in with your partner, fiance, or spouse.
Running a business comes with high stress levels. Whether you are trying to balance finances or meet deadlines, high stress breeds fatigue. This can make you feel too emotionally exhausted to even step your toes into the dating pool.
It is important to throw social expectations out the window if you are dating a business owner. Many people in society have a traditional viewpoint where each partner has specific roles and a set number of time commitments are needed for a relationship to work. This is simply not true as each relationship is unique. What works for one couple may not work for another, and that is okay.
For example, you may have two people who fall in love and share mutual values of non-stop travel and pick up odd jobs to make ends meet. On the other hand, you may have two distinct business owners who fall in love. They work long hours each and every week, but it makes them happy. They have a few set hours a week where they can really spend quality time together doing activities they enjoy, and it works for them. Entrepreneurs live rather unconventional lifestyles, and you have to have a partner who lives the same lifestyle and/or someone who can understand your schedule.
As a business owner, you may even find it hard to connect with other people who do not understand or share the same lifestyle as you. You may center your life around work and the thought that someone does not, can sound strange. If you are with a partner who does not understand your entrepreneurial lifestyle, there will be a gap in interests and general understanding.
Let us face the music - an entrepreneurial journey can be isolating at times. You might spend a lot of time alone or with work colleagues which limits your time to meet potential romantic partners.
Being a business owner can be isolating for the following reasons:
Heavy workload
Different priorities
Restricted social circles
Lack of peer understanding
High pressure
Lots of stress
Financial concerns
Frequent travel
Self-reliant culture
Burnout
Fatigue
Emotional rollercoaster
Even when physically present with someone, your mind may wander off onto work-related topics. Did I do payroll this week? I have to respond to that email from Jessica. I want to schedule a meeting with Jack to go over finances next week. The mental list can be never-ending which makes it hard to fully engage with someone.
As an entrepreneur, it is likely that you feel extremely passionate about your work. This passion has led you so far that you decided to branch off on your own and create a thriving business. This also equates to working more hours and perhaps prioritizing your business over relationships. Your partner may feel neglected or even abandoned if you do not practice proper communication with them.
How Many Entrepreneurs Are Married?
A 2009 report found that about 70% of the study’s business owners were married during the time that they launched their first business. Marriages require deliberate work so you can create a meaningful and fulfilling partnership. Trade-offs are required on both ends, and marriage will have peaks and valleys.
While there are a set number of challenges that come along with being married to an entrepreneur, there are ways to make the relationship work as well.
What Is It Like To Date An Entrepreneur?
We discussed some of the difficulties that come along with dating an entrepreneur, such as the lack of a work-life balance, financial stress, and different priorities for instance. But, what about all of the positives?
You may be someone who shares a lot of the same goals with your entrepreneurial partner, whether you are a business owner or not. Both you and your partner may share the vision and goals of an entrepreneurial journey which will have you both create a strong bond and sense of teamwork.
As a partner to a business owner, you play an integral role in their support system. This can be a great asset to them as you provide encouragement, emotional support, and even practical advice at times. This can enhance the resilience and motivation of your partner.
In many relationships, partners bring complementary skills to the partnership. One person may be more business-oriented while the other is more creative in nature.
Dating an entrepreneur also doubles as a period of significant growth for both partners. Balancing entrepreneurship and a relationship involves mutual respect, communication, and problem-solving skills.
Here are some strategies for success when dating a business owner:
Create a line for healthy and open communication (Check out our blog “4 Communication Tips Couples Need To Know”)
Schedule quality time together
Set boundaries (Read “6 Ways to Set Boundaries and Enforce Them”)
Shared values and a goal(s)
Build a support network (family, friends, other entrepreneurs, etc.)
If you need professional help to troubleshoot your problems, there is no shame in that. At Anchor Therapy, we offer individual counseling and couples counseling. We have career counselors for business owners and entrepreneurs on staff. Our couples counselors understand the complexities of relationships, especially those that arise when being a business owner in a relationship.
Victoria Scala
is the Social Media Manager and Intake Coordinator at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey. She is a graduate of the Honors College of Rutgers University-Newark. In her roles, Victoria is committed to managing the office’s social media presence and prioritizing clients' needs.
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