Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

addiction counseling

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The Impact of Trauma on LGBTQIA+ Lives

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The Impact of Trauma on LGBTQIA+ Lives

For many people within the LGBTQIA+ community, the journey of identity acceptance is intertwined with unique celebrations and challenges alike. Unfortunately, for many people in the LGBTQIA+ community, trauma is a common experience that ranges from rejection and discrimination to systematic oppression. Every person’s story is different and the impact of trauma can leave great marks on one’s self-esteem, relationships, and overall mental health and well-being. Recognizing how the experiences in your life affected you is the first step to healing.


Trauma in the LGBTQIA+ population is typically rooted in external pressures to conform to the norms of society. Bullying, family rejection, workplace discrimination, and religious condemnation are just some examples of negative LGBTQIA+ experiences that can create deep emotional scars. There are also systemic barriers in place, from exclusion in certain spaces to a lack of access to affirming care, that can worsen these effects. Even microaggressions can create an ongoing sense of alienation. There are very specific challenges at play for marginalized communities, particularly those in the LGBTQIA+ community.


Understanding the impact of trauma on LGBTQIA+ people is important to create a sense of resilience and carve a path to healing. Particularly with LGBTQIA+ youth, only 4% of people in this community reported never having experienced any symptoms of trauma according to the Trevor Project. With a LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist at Anchor Therapy, you both can create a space where you are seen, valued, and safe.

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Does ADHD Get Better With Age?

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Does ADHD Get Better With Age?

When it comes to Attention-Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), many children, teens, and adults may wonder if ADHD challenges will subside with age. Typically, ADHD is associated with children and teens who struggle with focus, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. For more information, read our blog “Parenting A Child With ADHD.” But did you know that ADHD can impact adults as well? To learn more information on this topic, check out our blog “CBT for Adult ADHD.”


ADHD is a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition which means that symptoms can persist into adulthood; however, ADHD symptoms may manifest differently over time. As you grow older, you will often develop healthy coping strategies and skills which can help you manage your ADHD symptoms more effectively. 


For example, as an adult with ADHD you may face less issues surrounding hyperactivity and more concern over focus and organization. Life transitions,career paths, and other environmental factors can influence how ADHD symptoms present over time. That is to say, while ADHD never fully goes away, it can look different and feel more manageable as you get older.

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How An Alcohol Therapist Can Help With Binge Drinking

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How An Alcohol Therapist Can Help With Binge Drinking

Consuming alcohol is a big part of American culture. It is normal to go out to bars with friends for a night out on the town, or have that glass of wine with dinner. While many people can safely consume alcohol and it has no impact on their day-to-day life or functioning, other people struggle with their ability to restrict how much alcohol they consume.

According to the PEW Research Center, 62 percent of adults in the United States have consumed alcohol with 38% of the nation’s adult population completely abstaining from alcohol consumption. Among adults who drink, 69% have had a drink within the past week. About one-in-five United States adults admit to drinking more than they should.

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The 4 Types of Alcohol Drinkers: What Type Are You?

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The 4 Types of Alcohol Drinkers: What Type Are You?

Every person who drinks alcohol has a reason for doing so. Some people may be struggling with depression and look for a way to ease their sadness. Other people may drink alcohol to keep their social status. If you are struggling with alcohol use, it is helpful to get to the root cause. Why are you drinking? What is truly driving this behavior?

There are a variety of alcohol treatment methods at Anchor Therapy that can help you feel like your best self again.

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7 Ways to Stop Your Gambling Habit

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7 Ways to Stop Your Gambling Habit

From your finances to the quality of your relationship, gambling can impact a lot of different facets in your life. A couple of decades ago, gambling was solely reserved for fast-paced, neon-lighted casinos. Fast forward to the present-day, gambling can take many forms, including online gambling platforms.

Compulsive gambling is a difficult cycle to break, but please take solace in the fact that recovery is 100% possible! If you are struggling with gambling, continue to read this blog to learn helpful tips and develop a practice game plan.

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The Role of Trauma in Netflix’s Firefly Lane

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The Role of Trauma in Netflix’s Firefly Lane

*Spoilers about seasons 1 & 2 of Netflix’s show Firefly Lane ahead!*

Firefly Lane is a powerful and heartwarming story of two women who formed an unbreakable bond as teenagers, and stayed by each other's side for nearly three decades. Starring Sarah Chalke as Kate Mularkey and Katherine Heigl as Tully Hart, the two go through good and bad times, while battling their own issues. 

In the summer of 1974, Tully Hart moved into a beautiful home on Firefly Lane. Directly across the street from her lived Kate Mularkey and her family. Kate is thrilled when Tully moves in, as she continuously daydreams about being her friend. On the surface, they are as opposite as two people could be. Tully is mysterious, smart, popular and beautiful, while Kate is strange, quiet, and nerdy. They encounter each other a few times outside, where Kate attempts to be Tully's friend, but Tully is closed off. 

One night, Tully tells Kate a secret while she is upset and feeling vulnerable. Kate promises to never tell Tully's secret, and they made a pact to remain best friends forever. By the end of summer, Tully and Kate were inseparable. 

From the beginning, Tully is desperate to prove her worth to the world. Abandoned by her mother at an early age, she searches for unconditional love. She looks to men to fill the void by drinking and having one night stands. As the 90’s approaches, Tully is captivated by the world of television news, as this has been her lifelong dream. She will follow her own blind ambition to New York and around the country, ultimately finding fame and success… and loneliness. 

Kate knows early on that her life will be nothing special. In college, she pretends to be driven by success, but all she wants is to fall in love, have children and live an ordinary life. Although, when she does become a wife and mother, it changes her and makes her question who she is and what she once wanted. 

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Am I Addicted To Vaping?

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Am I Addicted To Vaping?

Vaping has become increasingly popular in recent years, especially amongst teens and young adults. It is often used to consume both tobacco and marijuana. Initially, vape, in addition to other e-cigarettes, was viewed as a healthier alternative to traditional cigarettes; however, like anything, vaping has its own fair share of risks. 

A vape or electronic cigarette heats up to create a vapor as you inhale. 

Some popular vaping devices include:

  • Pens

  • E-cigarettes (Including JUUL)

  • Hookahs

Most types of e-cigarettes have the following components:

  • A cartridge, tank, or pod that holds the liquid (This can be refillable)

  • A heating element to assist in turning the liquid into breathable particles (Such as aerosol - also known as “vapor”)

  • A battery to heat the liquid 

  • A power button to control the device (Some vaping devices are activated by sensors when a user inhales)

  • A mouthpiece to breath in the aerosol 


Vaping has been marketed to teens and young adults by associating the devices with wellness; however, there are considerable health risks one signs up for when using a vaping device. From lung scarring and organ damage to developing an addiction, it is important to be aware of the side effects of vaping.

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Do I Have A Social Media Addiction?

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Do I Have A Social Media Addiction?

We’ve all heard it before- social media seriously impacts your mental health. But how does it do so? The constant news can be conflicting. Some reports claim that social media can be an amazing tool for networking and connection, bringing people together like never before. On the other hand, other sources tell us of the detrimental impact social media can have on our mental health, advocating for temporarily disabling your social media accounts and limiting screen time.

Human beings are social creatures. We need connection to other people to thrive and grow to our fullest potential. The strength of those relationships can have a big impact on your happiness and overall mental health.

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5 Ways to Help Someone Battling Alcohol Addiction

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5 Ways to Help Someone Battling Alcohol Addiction

Alcoholism is extremely common and can be detrimental to someone’s relationship with others. It can be very difficult to watch someone struggle with alcoholism and you may wonder how you can help your loved one. For those who know someone struggling with alcohol abuse, it can be very stressful deciding if or how to help them. You risk them getting very defensive or possibly even ending their relationship with you. There are many ways to create a comfortable environment to talk to your loved one about your concerns and there are many places that can offer professional help.

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The Connection Between Binge Drinking in College and Mental Health

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The Connection Between Binge Drinking in College and Mental Health

College binge drinking has become a new norm for young adults, especially college students. The term “blackout” is widely used. “Blackout” refers to a person getting so intoxicated that they fail to remember the night’s events the following morning. Although “blacking out” is extremely dangerous and negative to one's overall health, it is a part of daily life for many college students.

It is very common for college students to participate in binge drinking, which makes this a public health issue. Alcohol is more accessible to college students than high school students because there is a mix of people who are underage but still participate in drinking and those who have turned the legal age to purchase alcohol. There is almost always free alcohol given away at college parties.

College binge drinking has been routinely highlighted in the overall college experience. A phrase used regularly is “blackout or get out” meaning that you should only be at the event if you plan on getting extremely intoxicated.

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How Euphoria Gets Mental Health Right

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How Euphoria Gets Mental Health Right

Euphoria is a groundbreaking series that reflects on the lives of teenagers in today's society. It puts an extra focus on analyzing the mental health of the show’s characters with a variety of situations influencing their mental health. It’s getting a massive audience that even crashed HBO for the viewing of the first episode of the second season.

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5 Ways to Help Someone Battling Addiction & Substance Abuse Issues

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5 Ways to Help Someone Battling Addiction & Substance Abuse Issues

If you know someone who is struggling with addiction and substance abuse issues, you must understand that it may feel difficult for them to reach out for help. In the United States alone, millions of people struggle with addiction. It is important to reiterate that they are not alone in their struggles and have a strong team ready to support them every step throughout the recovery process.

Unfortunately, addiction not only impacts the specific individual, but it can impact family and friends as well.

Addiction can cause:

  • Financial issues

  • Legal obstacles

  • Changes in the addict’s behavior

  • The sadness of seeing a loved one struggle

Understanding addiction is not an easy undertaking. Treatment options can seem overwhelming or even confusing at times. It is completely understandable that you are worried about your loved ones and want to find effective ways to help them. You must always remember that recovery is not always the perfect solution.

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“High Functioning Addict”: Spot The Signs And How To Get Help

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“High Functioning Addict”: Spot The Signs And How To Get Help

Many of us have heard of the term “high functioning addict”, yet this term is a bit of an oxymoron. This concept references individuals that use substances frequently but have yet to hit the notion of a “rock bottom”. They do not fit the typical media stereotype of an addict- someone who is using all day long, struggling with unemployment, estranged from family, and not being able to handle any responsibilities.

“High functioning addicts” balance successful careers, manage their household responsibilities, lead active social lives while keeping their substance use private and hidden from loved ones. These individuals have managed to avoid a “rock bottom”. High functioning addicts tend to feel that their substance use is a bit excessive, but largely under control because their career, family, money and social life continue to function.