From depictions in movies and television shows to social media posts, motherhood is portrayed as a wholly joyful and even effortless experience. While becoming a parent is undeniably a cheerful time in your life, it can also bring new challenging experiences. While many mothers brace themselves for sleepless nights and limitless love, you may not have adequately expected or prepared for the emotional rollercoaster of postpartum depression and anxiety.
Many new moms may experience “baby blues''. Baby blues refers to a period of sadness that mothers feel after giving birth. This typically occurs the first few days after having a baby. You may begin to feel this unhappiness two to three days after your baby’s birth and these feelings can persist for up to two weeks.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, and life transitions. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and telehealth (video/phone) sessions to residents of New Jersey and New York.
Baby Blues:
Baby blues does not discriminate. If you are experiencing baby blues it is crucial to note one thing: it is not your fault. No matter your age, race, or socioeconomic status, you can experience baby blues. You should not be blamed for your emotions. Instead, you should acknowledge them and note that you did not do anything incorrectly. The overwhelming majority of parents experience these emotions.
The primary cause of baby blues is changes in your hormones. Your estrogen and progesterone hormones decrease after birth which can cause mood swings. When these hormones strongly decrease it can make you feel exhausted and sad. As new parents, it is easy to place yourself and your needs at the bottom of your to-do list. By not sleeping as much as you should and not eating a nutritious diet, you can contribute to your baby blues.
Additionally, your baby blues can have emotional roots. Having a baby is a huge life change and, when you think about that shift in your priorities, you may feel overwhelmed. You may also be worried that you do not have what it takes to care for your baby properly, questioning your actions. While thoughts can make you feel depressed and unhappy, many parents experience them. If you are someone who has battled depression previously or during your pregnancy, you may be more at risk for experiencing the baby blues. Every parent has doubted themselves at some point in their journey, but that does not make you a ‘bad’ parent. Instead of criticizing yourself, recognize your thoughts and try to remember that most parents have been in your position before.
If you are experiencing baby blues, you may be experiencing:
Anger
Sadness
Excessive crying
Mood swings
Animosity
Anxiety
Difficulty sleeping
Lack of appetite
Hard time resolving issues or decision making
Loneliness or isolation from your friends and family
Difficulty concentrating
Feelings of being overwhelmed (e.g. that you cannot properly care for your baby)
If you are feeling frightened or worried that you may be thinking irrationally, do not hesitate to reach out to your health care provider.
Partners having baby blues:
Another important thing to note about baby blues is that it can also affect partners. While this mostly occurs in partners three to six months after a baby’s birth, it can take up to a year to fully evolve. General stress, relationship problems, and little sleep can contribute to baby blues for both parties. Male partners may experience a decrease in their testosterone levels and an increase in their estrogen levels which can ignite the baby blues. These alterations in hormones can cause depression.
Your partner may have baby blues if they:
Consistently want to be alone
Lose passion for their hobbies or job
Have difficulty sleeping
Have a hard time resolving issues
Feel overwhelmed or desperate
Feel hostile or angry
Act unpredictable
Feel anxious
Get sad or feel defeated
Postpartum Depression:
Medical treatment is not needed for baby blues since it generally goes away in one to two weeks for mothers. If symptoms persist past two weeks, you may be experiencing postpartum depression which is more severe and lasts longer. It is highly recommended that you contact your health care provider if symptoms do persist.
Postpartum depression is a medical condition that a woman can experience after giving birth. Intense feelings of sadness, worry, and tiredness can occur with postpartum depression. It traditionally starts one to three weeks after having a baby and requires treatment for it to get better. Despite many women experiencing postpartum depression within the first few weeks after delivery, it can occur up to a year after the birth of your baby.
The following are signs and symptoms of postpartum depression:
Feeling depressed majority of the time
Feeling blameworthy or like a failure
Feeling scared majority of the time
Experiencing serious mood swings
Having little passion for your interests
Constantly feeling exhausted
Eating considerably less or more than you usually do
Losing or gaining weight
Having difficulty sleeping or over-sleeping
Having a hard time focusing or making decisions
Struggling to bond with your baby
Considering harming yourself or your baby
Contemplating suicide (Feeling suicidal? Help is only a phone call away at the free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255)
If you are experiencing signs or symptoms of postpartum depression, contact your health care provider right away. Having postpartum depression can make it difficult to take care of yourself and your baby. By seeking professional help, you can feel better about yourself and take care of all of your responsibilities, including your new baby.
The exact cause of postpartum depression is unknown; however, there are several factors that may contribute to it:
Your genes may play a role. For instance, if your family has a history of depression, you may be more prone to postpartum depression.
The hormone changes you experienced after pregnancy can trigger postpartum depression. Your body undergoes a strong decrease in estrogen and progesterone within 24 hours after birth.
Low levels of thyroid hormones can cause postpartum depression.
If you are experiencing signs and symptoms of postpartum depression, you should contact your health care provider. Your health care provider will ask you questions about your emotions to see if you have postpartum depression. It is important to seek help right away so you can ensure that you are taking good care of yourself and your baby.
There are several treatment options for postpartum depression. Treatment may include:
Counseling
Support groups
Medication (e.g. antidepressants, estrogen)
In addition to taking these measures, you can make alterations in your life to enhance your mental and physical health. You can:
Exercise regularly
Adopt a healthy diet
Ensure that you are getting an adequate amount of sleep
Avoid alcohol and drugs
Ask for and welcome help
Reduce your stress levels
While baby blues and postpartum depression can be scary occurrences, please know that you are not alone. Having a baby is a major life change and you should not blame yourself for the way you are feeling. Your emotions are valid. Treatment will help you get better and ensure that you can take care of yourself and your baby properly. At Anchor Therapy, we have therapists who can help support you through this challenging time.
Victoria Scala
is the Social Media Manager at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey. She is currently an undergraduate student at the Honors College of Rutgers University-Newark, looking to study Clinical Mental Health Counseling at the graduate level. As a Social Media Manager at Anchor Therapy, Victoria is committed to producing content for and managing the office’s social media presence and blog.
