Therapy For Self Esteem
If you struggle with low self esteem, it means that you do not hold yourself in a high regard. You can think of it as the confidence that you have in your own worth or abilities. Self esteem can impact your thoughts as well as your behaviors and actions.
Self esteem can vary throughout the lifetime. For example, ending a long-term relationship and breaking up with a partner can trigger low self-confidence levels while getting promoted at work can make you feel on top of the world. However, one thing to note about self esteem is that it does not change drastically very quickly. It gradually changes according to your sense of worth.
If you have a low self esteem and do not try to improve your self-perception, you may experience anxiety, depression, and other emotional implications as a result. Luckily, improving your self esteem is 100% possible for self confidence counseling!
Through self esteem therapy, you can improve your negative self-talk, self-doubt, and limiting beliefs. With a little bit of time and effort and the professional help of a self confidence therapist at Anchor Therapy, you can start feeling like your best self again.
What is low self esteem?
As someone with low self esteem, you may feel hopeless and helpless. Some days, you may feel capable and like your goals are within your grasp and, on other days, self-doubt fills your head.
You may feel shy or anxious around people, criticizing your actions and words a little too much. Your negative self-beliefs may feel so strong and be rooted deeply in your mind that you take them as facts. On the other hand, you may know that you judge yourself too harshly, but it is difficult to break the negative self-talk and pattern of thinking on your own.
Self esteem is your opinion of yourself. A healthy self-esteem will cause you to think rather positively about yourself and even be optimistic about life in general. You know that you are valuable as a human being just as you are and, if you had to list out some positive attributes, you would be able to do it with no hesitation.
Here are some examples of positive self-statements someone with a healthy self esteem might say:
“I have a positive impact on the people around me.”
“I accept myself as I am even with all of my imperfections.”
“I am worthy of love and happiness.”
“I am confident in my abilities and skills.”
“I deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.”
“I am proud of what I have accomplished.”
Alternatively, with low self esteem, see themselves, their future, and the world from a pessimistic lens. If you have low self esteem, it is not uncommon to feel sad, unmotivated, anxious, and have a low mood. When you encounter difficult life transitions and challenges, you may question your ability to rise to the occasion.
If you struggle with low self esteem, the following are some statements you may repeat to yourself regularly:
“I do not have anything valuable to offer.”
“I am always disappointing other people.”
“I will never be as good as the others.”
“I am not attractive.”
“I am not smart enough to do X.”
“I am a failure.”
Your self esteem is fragile, and a positive or low self esteem can signal certain behaviors. For example, someone with low self esteem may spend their time people pleasing their way through life because they are afraid to set boundaries and be their true self. You may go above and beyond what is expected of you at work or at home with family as well. If you keep meeting these impossible standards, you feel good about yourself. But, when life eventually takes over, you may be riddled with anxiousness and a generally low mood.
A low self esteem can manifest in many ways, altering your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and interactions with other people.
Common signs of low self esteem include the following:
Social withdrawal (Including possible social anxiety)
Sensitivity to criticism
Negative self-talk
Lack of confidence
Being overly critical of yourself
Need for external approval
Difficulty accepting compliments
Perfectionism
Indecisiveness
Self-neglect
People-pleasing
Pessimism
Low resilience
Feel unworthy of ‘good’ things happening to you
Self esteem is on a spectrum. For some people, a low self esteem will strike in specific situations whereas other people may experience low self esteem at all times.
For example, if you are a teen with a learning disability, going to high school may be a situation that triggers self doubt within you. You can enjoy many other situations and you believe some positive things about yourself, but attending school can be hard.
Low self esteem in all situations requires constant doubt and self-criticism. It can be hard to live your day-to-day life normally. Your negative self-beliefs about yourself feel more like facts.
The 3 C’s of Self Esteem in Confidence Therapy
As you will learn if you proceed with self esteem counseling, one of the ways to overcome a low self esteem is through utilizing the 3 Cs of self esteem which was adapted from Richard Ryan and Edward Deci’s Self-Determination Theory.
The three Cs of self esteem are as follows:
Connection - When you feel like you belong in an environment, you feel a certain sense of security which allows you to face whatever life throws at you with a high level of confidence and ease. Forming healthy relationships with other people can take the focus off of yourself so you can care for other people.
Competence - Whatever your goal is, you should aim to develop skills towards that. For example, if your goal is to become a doctor, you would want to develop good studying habits. A good skill set can stop the constant internal questioning of “How am I doing?” and help you focus on creating meaning and purpose in your life. It is a matter of doing and learning things that matter to you.
Choice - You are the captain of your ship. You have a say in the direction of your life whether you believe it or not (even as a child or teen)! When you know that you are in control, you can become more intrinsically motivated. In other words, you engage in an activity for the sake of it, not because you are trying to prove something to someone. Through exercising your decision-making skills, you can figure out what matters to you and act in alignment with your personal values.
Building meaningful connections with other people can enhance your self-confidence. You can do this by building connections with friends, family, colleagues, and mentors who uplift you. Networking with professionals and business leaders in your community can also provide you with a sense of support and new perspectives. A big part of connection is not being afraid to reach out for help when you need it. Knowing that you have a support system, such as a self esteem counselor, can enhance your confidence.
Developing your skills and honing your interests can do wonders for your self-confidence levels. You can do this by engaging in continuous learning by reading, taking courses, staying informed regarding your respective field, and so on. You also should not undermine practice- practice makes perfect! It allows you to become more proficient and comfortable with your goals.
Lastly, you can empower yourself through your choices. Pinpoint what is important to you and dedicate time to that area. From gathering data to weighing pros and cons, aim to make sure that you are making education decisions. Being open to new challenges can help you step out of your comfort zone. If something does go ‘wrong’, you can learn from your mistakes and view them as learning opportunities instead of a defeat.
How do therapists help with low self esteem?
In self love therapy, you will learn to challenge and change the negative beliefs you hold about yourself. Healthy self esteem is something you learn- you are not born with it or without it. During childhood and adolescence, positive reinforcement from loved ones and caregivers can make it easier to develop positive self-worth later in adulthood.
In your early years, the following factors can influence your self esteem:
Your thoughts
Your feelings
Your attachment to your parent(s) or caregiver(s)
Role models
Life experiences (E.g., interactions at school, play dates with friends, etc.)
Childhood interactions with the people closest to you, perhaps a sibling or a teacher for example, largely impact one’s self esteem. Whose opinion mattered the most to you as a child also plays a role. For example, you may have sought out your mother’s opinion more than your father’s opinion.
There are many causes for low self esteem, including:
Abuse
Bullying
Unhealthy relationships
A lack of a support group
Parental influence (E.g., criticism, neglect, etc.)
Failure
Rejection
Body image issues
Comparison via social media
Societal standards
Anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns
Negative self-talk
Perfectionism
And more
Self esteem issues can be deep-rooted, therefore many people require the support of a self image therapist for support in unpacking childhood dynamics to create a better self esteem outcome in the present.
Counseling for low self esteem is often referred to as “person-centered” psychotherapy. In other words, you work out your self esteem issues from the inside out, peeling back the complex layers of your life.
One of the major things you will learn in therapy for confidence issues is how to spot your triggers. Do you feel triggered when you see yourself in a bathing suit? Do you feel triggered when you have to present in class? Do you feel triggered when you scroll endlessly on social media? Do you feel triggered when you are trying to put yourself out there in the world of dating? Do you feel triggered when you assume that people are talking poorly about you?
You will come to understand that thoughts you are thinking are only mental restrictions you are placing on yourself- they are not rooted in reality. Just because you think it, does not make it true.
You may feel trapped by self esteem issues but you can learn to view your situation objectively to think more positively and in your favor. An objective view of yourself is important to adopt if you want to overcome your self esteem issues.
What is the best therapy for self esteem?
There are many interventions for self esteem out there to target self-criticism.
One of the leading forms of therapy for self worth is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, for low self esteem. CBT for confidence involves identifying your core beliefs and challenging negative thought patterns and behaviors that are contributing to your low self esteem. Learning to restructure your thoughts will inevitably help alter your behavior. Through skill building, you can sharpen your healthy coping skills and improve self-efficacy.
Psychodynamic therapy will dive deep into your subconscious mind to figure out the other factors at play when it comes to low self esteem. Past experiences and the unconscious mind can be impacting your self esteem and behaviors in the now.
A type of therapy for lack of confidence can also be Acceptance and Commitment (ACT) Therapy. Instead of fighting your thoughts and feelings, you simply accept them with this form of esteem therapy. Any action you make will align with your core beliefs and values.
Lastly, mindfulness-based therapy, like Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), can help you live in the present moment without judging yourself. MBCT for low self esteem allows you to lead your life with compassion. If you struggle with low self esteem, it is likely that you excel in self-criticism and lack self-compassion. MBCT will teach you how to be kind to yourself- treating yourself like you would a loved one. Being more self-compassionate can lessen feelings of inadequacy.
Through a blend of compassionate guidance and evidence-based techniques, a self esteem therapist at Anchor Therapy will help you see your value and potential. You can learn how to navigate the waves of life while accepting both your strengths and weaknesses.
WHAT ARE THE STEPS TO STARTING therapy for self esteem AT ANCHOR THERAPY?
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