Do you have a family member or friend who is struggling with depression? If so, you are not alone. Many people experience depression, and it can sometimes feel challenging to help support someone who is depressed. You may feel powerless and constantly thinking what the right steps to take are. Continue reading along if you want to learn how to offer support and sympathy to help your loved one.
Many people hide their depression due to the stigma surrounding mental health issues. As a family member or friend, it may be up to you to start the conversation about mental health, offering assistance and resources. Your help and encouragement can make a major impact on your loved one’s recovery and mental health progress.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, and life transitions. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and telehealth (video/phone) sessions to residents of New Jersey and New York.
First, it is important to know the symptoms of depression. Depression, a mood disorder, is when an individual feels continuously sad and/or disinterested. Major depressive disorder, also known as clinical depression, can impact how one feels, thinks, and acts. It can create many emotional and physical problems. Your loved one may have difficulty completing typical day-to-day activities, and may even have suicidal thoughts.
If your loved one is experiencing depression, they may be experiencing:
Sleep disturbances (e.g., insomnia, sleeping too much)
Explosions of anger, moodiness, or annoyance
Feelings of intense unhappiness, emptiness, or anguish
Loss of interest in previously enjoyable activities (e.g., working out, reading)
Constantly feeling tired and lacking energy
Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased appetite and weight gain
Anxiety, distress, or unease
Thinking, speaking, or moving slowly
Feeling guilty or worthless
Difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or remembering things
Suicidal thoughts and/or suicidal attempts (Feeling suicidal? Help is only a phone call away at the free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255)
Mysterious physical problems (e.g., headaches, back pain)
Many people who experience depression showcase severe symptoms. In other words, there will be noticeable complications that interfere with their daily life. These interruptions can occur with school, work, social activities, and relationships.
Depression is more than the blues, it is a prolonged period of sadness. Just because an individual has depression does not mean that they are weak. One cannot simply “snap out” of depression. Instead, professional treatment is the most viable option for your loved one to be the best version of themselves yet again.
Your support can be pivotal to your loved one’s recovery. There are specific things that you can do to help your loved one throughout their mental health journey.
Effectively Communicate with Your Depressed Loved One
It is important to let your family member or friend know that you are there for them. Starting the conversation can always feel like it is the hardest part, but it is often the most significant.
You can try initiating the conversation by stating:
“I have been feeling concerned about you recently.”
“I have noticed some differences in you recently. How are you doing?”
“You have been pretty down lately. How are you feeling?”
Once your loved one begins to open up about their mental health, you can ask them specific questions regarding their depression. For instance, you can ask your family member or friend:
“When did you begin to feel depressed?”
“Did a specific incident trigger this feeling?”
“What can I do to support you?”
“Have you thought of looking for professional help?”
Being supportive requires encouragement and optimism. As their family member or friend, you know the best method to communicate with them so that they will understand and appreciate your concerns.
You can offer even more support, such as stating:
“You are not alone.”
“I’m here for you.”
“You are important to me.”
“Your life is important.”
“I care about you, and I want to help.”
“Please let me know what I can do to help.”
While actively listening and responding to your loved one, you must remember not to spread toxic positivity. Toxic positivity refers to the belief that, regardless of how difficult a situation is, one should always remain positive. While it is important to stay positive, especially during the mental health recovery process, it is not healthy to have an obsession with positive thinking. It is important to understand that it is healthy to have a wide array of emotions, including sadness.
2. Encourage Your Loved One to Get Professional Help for Their Depression
There are many aspects of your loved one’s depression that are out of your control; however, finding a licensed therapist is something you can help with. Getting your loved one into treatment may be difficult, but they must know that there is a solution to their problems.
Your loved one may not even be aware of their depression, the severity of the issue, or how to reach out for help. Many people know that therapy can help them, but it can be daunting to take the leap and find a licensed mental health counselor.
You can help your loved one look for depression counseling, online support groups for depression, in-person depression support groups, or other forms of depression support. You can even help your loved one make a list of all of the comments that they would like to discuss with their therapist during their first few sessions. Just making the initial appointment to meet with a therapist is a huge step in the right direction.
There may be some days where your loved one does not feel like getting out of bed or leaving the house. Depression can lower motivation and increase one’s inclination to self-isolate. This is when your support can become especially critical.
There may be instances where your loved one wants to cancel appointments with their therapist. You can gently encourage them to attend by stating something along the lines of, “You said that you felt better after your session last week. What if you leave today’s session feeling the same way?”. While assisting is important, it is equally as important to have realistic expectations. Even slow progress is still progress, therefore having patience is crucial.
3. Take Care of Yourself
You may feel an intense need to take care of everyone else, but practicing self-care is essential. As mentioned previously, you cannot control your loved one’s depression, but you can manage how well you take care of and show up for yourself. Just as your loved one needs to get help from a licensed mental health counselor, you need to take care of yourself.
When you are caring for a loved one, there may be interruptions in your own life, but you should try to stay on track with your life as much as possible. This can occur by setting boundaries. By constantly being a support system for your loved one 24/7, you can also experience psychological complications. To avoid burnout, you should set clear guidelines on what you are and are not able to do for your loved one. Remember, your loved one has a professional therapist to assist them as well.
Depression can impact not only your loved one but everyone around them as well. You can simultaneously be a support system for your loved one while setting healthy boundaries. Helping your loved one can be overwhelming and neglecting your health can lead to serious problems.
Victoria Scala
is the Social Media Manager at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey. She is currently an undergraduate student at the Honors College of Rutgers University-Newark, looking to study Clinical Mental Health Counseling at the graduate level. As a Social Media Manager at Anchor Therapy, Victoria is committed to producing content for and managing the office’s social media presence and blog.
