Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

depression nj

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How To Find In Person Therapy Near Me

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How To Find In Person Therapy Near Me

Finding a therapist who is the right fit for you can be a challenging task to say the least. Now, when you try to find an in-person therapist near you, it may be extra harder. A therapist in Hoboken can give you expert mental health advice as well as a space where you feel safe and genuinely supported as a client and human being. With many therapy options available, finding a therapist near me who aligns with your needs, such as your area of concern or type of therapy you are seeking, and schedule can feel stressful. Whether you are dealing with anxiety, career stress, relationship issues, trauma, or are simply seeking personal growth, mental health counseling can be a tool for powerful transformation and self-improvement. 


Starting the search for the right therapist can seem daunting, particularly if you do not know where to start your therapist search or how to filter through your options of counselors. It can first be important to understand your own preferences when it comes to finding a psychotherapist, from specialization to treatment approach. Knowing what is most important to you will help make the search a little easier and ensure that you find a therapist that truly fits your needs. For extra support with this process, check out our blog “How to Find The Best Therapist Near Me.”

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Does ADHD Get Better With Age?

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Does ADHD Get Better With Age?

When it comes to Attention-Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), many children, teens, and adults may wonder if ADHD challenges will subside with age. Typically, ADHD is associated with children and teens who struggle with focus, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. For more information, read our blog “Parenting A Child With ADHD.” But did you know that ADHD can impact adults as well? To learn more information on this topic, check out our blog “CBT for Adult ADHD.”


ADHD is a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition which means that symptoms can persist into adulthood; however, ADHD symptoms may manifest differently over time. As you grow older, you will often develop healthy coping strategies and skills which can help you manage your ADHD symptoms more effectively. 


For example, as an adult with ADHD you may face less issues surrounding hyperactivity and more concern over focus and organization. Life transitions,career paths, and other environmental factors can influence how ADHD symptoms present over time. That is to say, while ADHD never fully goes away, it can look different and feel more manageable as you get older.

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Are Dating Apps Bad For Your Mental Health?

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Are Dating Apps Bad For Your Mental Health?

In today’s world, dating apps have become commonplace. They have become the standard way to meet people and connect, offering access to thousands of potential romantic partners with a simple swipe or tap. There is no denying the convenience of these apps and how easy they make it to meet new people and expand your social circle, but have you ever wondered how online dating can impact your mental health? Do dating apps actually help people find meaningful connections? Do dating apps leave you feeling more isolated than before? More anxious? More dissatisfied?


In this blog, we will explore the complex impact of dating apps on one’s mental health, analyzing both the excitement they offer and the emotional toll they can take. Whether you are an avid user of dating apps or utilize them reluctantly, it is important to understand how online dating can impact your self-esteem, relationships, self-confidence, and overall happiness.

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

Have you ever experienced the same thoughts over and over again? Do you dwell on these thoughts, and the negative feelings that come along with it? The repetitive, often negative aspect of thought rumination can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression, as well as worsen existing conditions.


Rumination is when you feel stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. Rumination is an obsessive form of thinking that includes excessive, repetitive thoughts or themes that conflict with other mental activity, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Although thought rumination typically occurs for individuals with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), anyone can struggle with obsessive thinking. 


Rumination can transform worry into a habit or a way of life. Obsessive thinking can be a hard cycle to break, but it is possible! Continue reading this blog to learn how to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts.

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5 Emotional Effects of a Hurricane

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5 Emotional Effects of a Hurricane

Hurricanes are often known for their physical destruction. When you think of a hurricane, it is likely that some powerful images come to your mind- torrential rains, powerful winds, and surging water. However, what is not talked about as much is the emotional impact of a hurricane which can be just as overwhelming as the physical effects. 


The devastation brought by recent storms, such as Hurricane Milton and Hurricane Helene, extend beyond just the physical wreckage left behind. When going through a natural disaster, it is likely that you are experiencing a whirlwind of emotions, from anxiety and fear to grief and helplessness. 


In the immediate aftermath of a hurricane, you are likely dealing with a lot of things, from the chaos and uncertainty surrounding evacuations to property damage. This sort of disruption in your life can leave you feeling vulnerable and emotionally exhausted. 


Going through a natural disaster once may leave you wondering when the next one will strike. This heightened fear can lead to more stress, insomnia, and even Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. The experience of living through and surviving a hurricane can challenge your sense of safety, creating emotional scars that require mental health healing.

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How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

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How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, simply referred to as PCOS, is a hormonal disorder that impacts women who are of reproductive age. While the cause of PCOS is not well known, we do know that it causes enlarged ovaries with small cysts on the outer edges. Health experts believe a combination of genetic and environmental factors are at play with this disorder. 

The effects of PCOS are still being studied, but we know that those with the disorder can experience a wide range of mental health concerns, from anxiety and depression to eating disorders and low self-esteem. Continue reading this blog to figure out how PCOS may be impacting you mentally and emotionally, and what you can do to cope.

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Exploring Golden Child Syndrome

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Exploring Golden Child Syndrome

A “golden child” the ‘special’ member of a given family unit. Oftentimes, the golden child is pushed to be nothing short of perfect. This typically happens because a parent wants their child to achieve in areas of life where they did not. As a golden child, you may resonate with being able to perform well under pressure, constantly seeking reassurance from your parents, and not being allowed to tell people your true emotions.

Your parents may view your successes as their own which perpetuates a cycle where they are constantly setting high expectations for you. This may cause you to feel excess stress, and you may even begin to feel confused about who you are. Constantly feeling pushes to keep going and achieving with no breaks or self-care can very easily lead to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. 
If the cycle of being the golden child is not broken, the consequences can last a lifetime. You may feel like, no matter how hard you try, you are never good enough. You may have a hard time making decisions on your own without reassurance from other people. You may self-sabotage relationships in your life because you expect the other person to be perfect as well, pushing these unrealistic standards onto others.

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How to Navigate Insecurity After Infidelity

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How to Navigate Insecurity After Infidelity

Infidelities, affairs, and cheating can erode a relationship, the couple as a unit, and the self-esteem of those who have been cheated on. Most people blame themselves for their partner’s decision to be unfaithful.

When you first found out that your partner, fiance, or spouse cheated on you, it was likely a shock to your system. The emotional impact of infidelity can carry long-term consequences and even disrupt your view of yourself and the world around you. You may think that you are less-than or that no one should be trusted moving forward.

You once felt safe and loved and, now, that image has disappeared. So, what else in your life could change? Infidelity can be damaging, but it can also provide an opportunity for personal growth. 

If you decide to stay with your partner, it can be a chance to strengthen your relationship and fix the cracks. If you decide to leave your partner, you may find yourself increasing your dating standards. There is no right or wrong answer here- you ultimately know what is best for you. Regardless of your situation, you can take certain steps to overcome the insecurities you are facing post-infidelity.

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What Leads To Depression In A Person?

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What Leads To Depression In A Person?

Depression is a complex mental health condition. It can occur for a variety of reasons as there is no one specific, universal cause or trigger. Some people may experience situational or temporary depression after a major life transition, such as a move or the death of a loved one. If you have a family history of depression, you may feel sad or lonely for no apparent reason.

Depression is characterized by persistent feelings of sadness. It can change how you think, eat, sleep, and behave in daily life. There are several types of depression- Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), Postpartum Depressive Disorder (PDD), Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD), Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), and more. Depression can be treatable by working with a depression therapist.

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Why Is Bed Rotting Okay?

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Why Is Bed Rotting Okay?

Bed rotting has quickly emerged as a popular form of self-care amongst members of Generation Z on TikTok and beyond. But, the real question is- is it a healthy form of self-care? 

Mental health experts agree that self-care is necessary to effectively manage stress and to boost your energy, but it also may leave many other people questioning what the line is between self-care and potentially harmful behavior.

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What Is Seasonal Affective Disorder and How Is It Treated?

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What Is Seasonal Affective Disorder and How Is It Treated?

You may be feeling down this winter, unhappy and not like yourself. Many of us have heard the term “seasonal depression” or “winter blues.” Many adults, especially women, feel this way but are unsure why and what to do about it. You could be suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which is a highly treatable mental health condition.

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How to Battle The Loneliness Epidemic

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How to Battle The Loneliness Epidemic

As human beings, our need to socially connect with other people is innate. Loneliness can occur when there is a gap present between your desire for a social connection and the actual experiences of it. This gap can trigger a state of distress or discomfort. Even if you are surrounded by a lot of people throughout the day, you may still experience loneliness. Loneliness can threaten both your mental and physical health.

Anyone can experience loneliness, but the way each person experiences it is unique. It is completely possible to feel lonely without necessarily being alone. On the other hand, you may be alone and not feel lonely at all.

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How Childhood Trauma Can Cause Anxiety, Depression, & PTSD

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How Childhood Trauma Can Cause Anxiety, Depression, & PTSD

Childhood trauma can have a long lasting impact on people. If you suffer from childhood trauma, you may be more at risk for developing anxiety, depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and other mental disorders. By unpacking your trauma with a trauma therapist or anxiety counselor, you'll be able to process those memories and emotions, and feel like your best self again!

What Is Childhood Trauma?

Childhood trauma is the experience of an event by a child or teen that is emotionally painful or distressful, which often results in lasting mental and physical effects. Childhood trauma can occur when a child witnesses or experiences overwhelming negative events in childhood. Children are too young to process events they experienced which causes them to repress, or bury, the memory.

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Why You’re Depressed Around Your Period: All About PMDD

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Why You’re Depressed Around Your Period: All About PMDD

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is a health problem that affects millions of teen and adult women. It is similar to Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS), but PMDD is more serious. PMDD has many serious health consequences, including irritability, depression, and anxiety. These symptoms typically occur one to two weeks before your period starts and start wearing off two to three days after your period starts.

PMDD is often referred to as “severe PMS” since it causes a range of emotional and physical symptoms. Many women experience symptoms of PMS. You may even have severe PMS symptoms, and simply acknowledge them as “normal” since you do not know how else to feel. With PMDD, the symptoms are harsh and it can have a great impact on your life. It can be difficult to work, go to school, socialize with other people, and form healthy connections. If you think you may be struggling with PMDD, continue to read this blog.

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10 Ways to Deal with Seasonal Depression

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10 Ways to Deal with Seasonal Depression

Though many people love the fall, for some, the shorter days and less light prompts the re-emergence of their Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) or what's more commonly referred to as “seasonal depression”. SAD is usually triggered by the changing of the seasons, typically hitting an individual at around the same time each year.

It varies from person to person on which seasons cause the change in their mood but typically it either affects an individual during the spring and summer, or fall and winter. In this case, we will be discussing how to fight back against the days getting shorter and the sunlight disappearing faster as the winter form is the most prevalent type of SAD.

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3 Ways to Support Someone with Depression

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3 Ways to Support Someone with Depression

Do you have a family member or friend who is struggling with depression? If so, you are not alone. Many people experience depression, and it can sometimes feel challenging to help support someone who is depressed. You may feel powerless and constantly thinking what the right steps to take are. Continue reading along if you want to learn how to offer support and sympathy to help your loved one.

Many people hide their depression due to the stigma surrounding mental health issues. As a family member or friend, it may be up to you to start the conversation about mental health, offering assistance and resources. Your help and encouragement can make a major impact on your loved one’s recovery and mental health progress.

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4 Ways to Naturally Treat Depression

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4 Ways to Naturally Treat Depression

For many people living with depression, it is helpful and sometimes essential to take antidepressants. These drugs can certainly help countless people, but there are many reasons why other individuals may try to treat their depression naturally before looking towards medication. From personal beliefs to side effects and medication costs, many people are actively searching for effective methods to alleviate their depression. Even if you are on antidepressants, it is helpful to incorporate these natural methods to help manage your depression even further.

Before you learn how to manage and treat your depression, it is important to understand the condition itself. Depression consists of being constantly sad or losing interest in engaging activities to the point that it is notably damaging your daily life.

Depression is a complex mental health disorder. Many life events can increase your chance of developing feelings of depression. It may seem that other people who go through similar events never get upset or depressed while you struggle with it. Everyone is different and some life events impact certain people more than others and in different ways.

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Anchor Therapy Is Expanding Counseling Services in Hoboken, NJ!

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Anchor Therapy Is Expanding Counseling Services in Hoboken, NJ!

At Anchor Therapy, we are currently accepting new clients and are now providing telehealth (video & phone) sessions for residents of New Jersey and New York as well as in-person sessions at our new office in downtown Hoboken, NJ! Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, substance abuse, addiction, identity, and life transitions.

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Sadness vs Depression: When To Get Help

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Sadness vs Depression: When To Get Help

We see a lot of clients who come in for therapy feeling unsure if they have a diagnosis of depression or if they’re just feeling a normal amount of sadness. There is a clinical way to diagnose depression and there are different degrees of a depression diagnosis: mild, moderate, and severe. You could also be experiencing a single episode of depression meaning that you have been experiencing these symptoms of sadness for 2 weeks-6 months. If you have been experiencing these symptoms for greater than 6 months then you would be diagnosed with a more long-term depression. The short answer here is that everyone could use the benefits that come from going to therapy. So even if you are feeling a normal amount of sadness and you don’t technically qualify for a depression diagnosis, you could still get a lot out of going to therapy. Counseling can help you feel more yourself and that you’re in a better place to take on the world.