Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

depression counseling

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

Have you ever experienced the same thoughts over and over again? Do you dwell on these thoughts, and the negative feelings that come along with it? The repetitive, often negative aspect of thought rumination can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression, as well as worsen existing conditions.


Rumination is when you feel stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. Rumination is an obsessive form of thinking that includes excessive, repetitive thoughts or themes that conflict with other mental activity, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Although thought rumination typically occurs for individuals with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), anyone can struggle with obsessive thinking. 


Rumination can transform worry into a habit or a way of life. Obsessive thinking can be a hard cycle to break, but it is possible! Continue reading this blog to learn how to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts.

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What Leads To Depression In A Person?

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What Leads To Depression In A Person?

Depression is a complex mental health condition. It can occur for a variety of reasons as there is no one specific, universal cause or trigger. Some people may experience situational or temporary depression after a major life transition, such as a move or the death of a loved one. If you have a family history of depression, you may feel sad or lonely for no apparent reason.

Depression is characterized by persistent feelings of sadness. It can change how you think, eat, sleep, and behave in daily life. There are several types of depression- Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), Postpartum Depressive Disorder (PDD), Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD), Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), and more. Depression can be treatable by working with a depression therapist.

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What Is Seasonal Affective Disorder and How Is It Treated?

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What Is Seasonal Affective Disorder and How Is It Treated?

You may be feeling down this winter, unhappy and not like yourself. Many of us have heard the term “seasonal depression” or “winter blues.” Many adults, especially women, feel this way but are unsure why and what to do about it. You could be suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which is a highly treatable mental health condition.

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6 Ways to Understand and Support a Parent With Mental Illness

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6 Ways to Understand and Support a Parent With Mental Illness

Mental Illness is something that is still extremely stigmatized and misunderstood. This could be because people aren’t educated and aware of how certain mental disorders function. It’s understandable though, in the sense that it’s hard to understand mental illness when we may not experience it ourselves. Even though you may not be able to empathize with certain mental illnesses and disorders, you can still try your best to understand them. Awareness is extremely important! 

Parents can already be hard to understand from the point of view of a child - even if you’re a teen or an adult. On top of that, parental mental illness can be incredibly challenging to navigate. Mental illness sometimes can get in the way of the proper parenting that a child needs - even if unintentionally. Connecting with a parent and trying to understand the hows and whys of their behavior can really make the home environment more comfortable.

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Navigating Post-Grad Life: 9 Essential Insights for Recent College Graduates

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Navigating Post-Grad Life: 9 Essential Insights for Recent College Graduates

College may have been the best or worst years of your life. Regardless of how your experience may have gone, you are about to face a lot of uncertainty and change after graduating. You are now about to enter the real world and all of the responsibilities that come with it. The student loan bills you thought you had years to pay back may ambush you when you really aren't prepared for them. You may find yourself jobless, not knowing what you want to do for the rest of your life. Maybe you found a job but realize this is not what you want to do for the rest of your life. Or maybe you live in your parent's basement and are unable to support yourself financially. These are concerns that most college students don't think about because we like to have our dreams and aspirations, but what happens if those dreams don't come true? With these 9 things you wish you knew about life after college, you can find ways to prepare or work through the struggles you may face during this life change. 

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Negative Self-Talk

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Negative Self-Talk

Do you view the glass as half-empty or half-full? This age-old question can reveal a lot about your lookout on life and even your attitude about yourself. When you think positively, you can better manage your stress and improve your overall health. Practicing negative self-talk takes patience and requires persistence but it can be done, specifically with the help of a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) therapist. 

If you are looking to stop negative thinking right in its tracks, it is completely possible with CBT therapy! CBT works to uncover your unhealthy patterns of thought while, at the same time, examining how these thoughts may be causing self-destructive beliefs and behaviors.

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What We Learned About Mental Health From Harry & Meghan

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What We Learned About Mental Health From Harry & Meghan

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle released their docu series on Netflix, Harry & Meghan, which detailed their high-profile love story. The series starts from the very beginning of their relationship to the institutional challenges that the couple endured and continues to face in the public eye. Most importantly, this documentary reveals some stunning mental health revelations. 
Mental health impacts everyone regardless of gender, race, and socioeconomic status, and Harry & Meghan certainly sheds light on this fact. The docu series highlights Meghan Markle’s battle with depression and suicidal thoughts. It even draws strong parallels between the royal life of Meghan Markle and Princess Diana of Wales, Prince Harry’s mother.

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10 Ways to Deal with Seasonal Depression

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10 Ways to Deal with Seasonal Depression

Though many people love the fall, for some, the shorter days and less light prompts the re-emergence of their Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) or what's more commonly referred to as “seasonal depression”. SAD is usually triggered by the changing of the seasons, typically hitting an individual at around the same time each year.

It varies from person to person on which seasons cause the change in their mood but typically it either affects an individual during the spring and summer, or fall and winter. In this case, we will be discussing how to fight back against the days getting shorter and the sunlight disappearing faster as the winter form is the most prevalent type of SAD.

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3 Ways to Support Someone with Depression

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3 Ways to Support Someone with Depression

Do you have a family member or friend who is struggling with depression? If so, you are not alone. Many people experience depression, and it can sometimes feel challenging to help support someone who is depressed. You may feel powerless and constantly thinking what the right steps to take are. Continue reading along if you want to learn how to offer support and sympathy to help your loved one.

Many people hide their depression due to the stigma surrounding mental health issues. As a family member or friend, it may be up to you to start the conversation about mental health, offering assistance and resources. Your help and encouragement can make a major impact on your loved one’s recovery and mental health progress.

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4 Ways to Naturally Treat Depression

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4 Ways to Naturally Treat Depression

For many people living with depression, it is helpful and sometimes essential to take antidepressants. These drugs can certainly help countless people, but there are many reasons why other individuals may try to treat their depression naturally before looking towards medication. From personal beliefs to side effects and medication costs, many people are actively searching for effective methods to alleviate their depression. Even if you are on antidepressants, it is helpful to incorporate these natural methods to help manage your depression even further.

Before you learn how to manage and treat your depression, it is important to understand the condition itself. Depression consists of being constantly sad or losing interest in engaging activities to the point that it is notably damaging your daily life.

Depression is a complex mental health disorder. Many life events can increase your chance of developing feelings of depression. It may seem that other people who go through similar events never get upset or depressed while you struggle with it. Everyone is different and some life events impact certain people more than others and in different ways.

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5 Ways Exercise Benefits Your Mental Health

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5 Ways Exercise Benefits Your Mental Health

Typically, when you think of exercise, the physical benefits of movement immediately come to mind. It is known that regular exercise can help you:

  • Control your weight

  • Reduce your risk of diabetes

  • Lower your blood pressure

  • Increase your energy

In addition to these amazing advantages, did you know that exercise has psychological benefits as well?

Regular exercise has been proven to keep your memory sharp and ease symptoms of depression and anxiety. Lifestyle modifications are often used to improve quality of life and overall health, and exercise is no exception to these adjustments. Lifestyle changes that highlight moderate-intensity activity are the most beneficial. Additionally, the positive effects of movement on mental health encompass self-efficacy, social interaction, and distraction. Exercise has the ability to enhance your self-efficacy, also known as the belief in your capabilities. Movement can act as a form of social interaction in various ways. For instance, you may have a ‘workout buddy’ or you may engage in group classes. Lastly, exercise can act as a distraction from life stressors, giving you much needed time to mentally rejuvenate.

If you would like to learn about the mental health benefits of exercise, keep reading!

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How to be Alone without Being Lonely

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How to be Alone without Being Lonely

As COVID-19 is coming to an end, everyone is adopting new changes yet again. While some people may be back in the office, others may be continuing to work remotely. People who were continuously surrounded by family or their ‘quarantine team’ for the past year and a half, may now be alone, getting back into the swing of a full-time schedule. Loneliness happens when you feel like your social and emotional needs are not being fulfilled. On the other hand, being alone can be a refreshing experience where you find much-needed serenity and solitude.

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Sadness vs Depression: When To Get Help

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Sadness vs Depression: When To Get Help

We see a lot of clients who come in for therapy feeling unsure if they have a diagnosis of depression or if they’re just feeling a normal amount of sadness. There is a clinical way to diagnose depression and there are different degrees of a depression diagnosis: mild, moderate, and severe. You could also be experiencing a single episode of depression meaning that you have been experiencing these symptoms of sadness for 2 weeks-6 months. If you have been experiencing these symptoms for greater than 6 months then you would be diagnosed with a more long-term depression. The short answer here is that everyone could use the benefits that come from going to therapy. So even if you are feeling a normal amount of sadness and you don’t technically qualify for a depression diagnosis, you could still get a lot out of going to therapy. Counseling can help you feel more yourself and that you’re in a better place to take on the world.

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How To Manage Stress While Working In The Financial Industry

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How To Manage Stress While Working In The Financial Industry

Having a career in the financial industry can be challenging to say the least. Long hours, constant pressure, intense competition, and short term deadlines tend to be the norm in the business. Company culture tries to support a work-life balance, but often you find yourself not even able to get up to go to the bathroom, let alone think about self-care!

Today, due to COVID-19, you find that there is more stress at work. The financial industry is constantly changing with the concerns over the impact of COVID-19 on the market and businesses. Companies are trying to find a way to operate on the bare minimum to save money, resulting in less staff and resources. You find your work load is increasing and you are feeling stretched to the limit. Not only are you trying to accomplish work demands, but you are also trying to adjust to working from home. The already fine line between work and home life has become blurred. Vacations are basically non-existent and socializing is limited. With high expectations, limited time off and constant access to your work at home, how do you manage it all? When do you give yourself a break?

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Top Reasons Depression Is Increasing For Athletes During COVID-19

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Top Reasons Depression Is Increasing For Athletes During COVID-19

The pandemic has been a difficult time for everyone, but one group of people who are experiencing increased symptoms of depression are athletes. Since March 2020, most sports were completely cancelled. Now that the fall is starting up with a new sports season, some sports are able to return. But a lot of sports remain cancelled or postponed. Athletes find a lot of purpose, motivation, and validation from competing in their sport. Due to COVID-19, this may be the first time in many years that an athlete does not have their sport to train for and feels empty.

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Anchor Therapy Is Expanding Counseling Services in Hoboken, NJ!

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Anchor Therapy Is Expanding Counseling Services in Hoboken, NJ!

At Anchor Therapy, located in Hoboken, NJ, we are currently accepting new clients and are now providing telehealth (video & phone) sessions for residents of New Jersey and New York.

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The Top Causes of Depression

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The Top Causes of Depression

Depression can impact anyone for a multitude of reasons. There is a lot of research into the cause of depression and there is not just one clear answer. There could be multiple reasons as to why you feel depressive symptoms. These causes can be broken down into two main categories that include biological factors and environmental factors. It is possible that you have one or both of these factors impacting your mood. Below I will discuss what falls under these two categories in detail.