The Holidays can be a very exciting time. Around the time of the holidays, there is a lot of joy and giving. People are usually in high spirits and excited for the holiday. For college students, this may look different. This is the time when college students are cramming for exams, overwhelmed and stressed, all leading up to going home for winter break. This can take a significant toll on the mental health of students. After finals and moving back into their parent's house, being back in their hometown can be a significant change. With so much going on, not having the chance to sit down and reflect on these changes can result in feelings of anxiety and depression.
Feeling mentally and physically drained after college semester:
The weeks leading up to going home for winter break can be extremely stressful and mentally taxing. Coming home for winter break can be very exciting but also sad. Although it is the holidays, you are ready to go home and miss your family. Right before going home, you may find yourself staying up late, cramming for your final exams. You may be trying to fit in social time with your friends before you go your separate ways for the break. In just a few short weeks after Thanksgiving break, you may be homesick and feeling burnt out with the end of the semester so close. Jumping back into school after being off for a week and being expected to study and take exams can take a toll on college students. After a long semester and the finish line so close, it can be hard to push yourself to that last stretch.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with mental health therapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, couples, and families with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, life transitions, and more. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and teletherapy sessions to residents of New Jersey, New York, and Florida.
Things feel different after coming home from college:
Visiting home for the holidays after establishing your own routines and expectations can cause conflict. Your family may expect you to come back and adjust to their rules, expectations, and norms. This can cause tension because you are used to the structure you made while on your own at college. You have adapted to your independence and found things that may work better for you, so going back under your parent's roof can challenge the changes you have made in your life.
You may notice that your family dynamic has changed since being away at school. Your siblings may have grown up and matured, which may make you feel like you don't know them anymore. Your parents may have a new routine dissimilar to yours, and now you may feel as if you don't know how to function in this new environment. In addition, your hometown friendships may have changed as a result of being away for so long or losing shared interests you once had. At college, you are surrounded by different people who come from different cultures and environments. This may make your perspective of your hometown different after getting to know a different area with different people, places, and norms. Anxiety is common for college students coming home to past memories they thought they had moved past.
5 Things you can do to prioritize your mental health:
Plan your days:
Creating a routine while at home can help reduce your stress and anxiety. Setting goals or tasks throughout your days will help increase your productivity and feel more in control of your life. Also, when you establish a plan for your day, your motivation to complete these goals will increase and positively affect your mental health. Creating plans and schedules will help create a balance that works with the goals you want to achieve. During a holiday break, you don't have to worry about scheduling your plans around classes, but it is important to keep yourself on a stable routine to maintain your motivation.
2. Try Something Different:
Trying something new or out of your comfort zone may improve your self-confidence and allow you to make new experiences and memories. You may find something that interests you and makes you happy. You could also acquire new skills that can help you with your time at college, home, or mental health.
3. Focus on yourself:
During this time off, it can be beneficial to try out new activities and hobbies. Along with this is recharging and resting your body. In college, it can be a challenge to maintain an appropriate sleep schedule. After a long semester, being home without having demanding classes and homework, you can take time to relax and catch up on sleep.
4. Set New Goals:
Winter break is a great time to make a New Year’s resolution. A New Year’s resolution could be anything from wanting to raise your GPA, establish a better sleep schedule, exercise more, etc. Even if your goal is not related to your academic or mental health at college, just having a goal to focus on and reevaluating your priorities helps to improve your overall happiness and well-being.
5. Quality Time with Family and Friends:
After being away from home for college, you have the opportunity to see your friends and family since you left for college. Just being in the same house as family members for the holidays is not truly spending quality time with your loved ones. Take the time to sit down with them, either watch a movie, go out to dinner, or have a game night to catch up and engage in conversation with them.
Old memories resurfacing while at home for winter break:
After being in a different environment while at college without your family and hometown friends, many things change. You may find yourself having different priorities and interests. Coming home to the same room you left and noticing that nothing has changed can be difficult for some. Being at home for the holidays, being back with your family, and being in your childhood bedroom can trigger past memories and feelings. It may feel like you don't relate to the same things you once did.
You may have picked a specific school to go to in order to leave behind certain memories, which can make coming back home taxing on your mental health. It may feel as if all of the progress you have made during your time spent at college was just stripped away. Old memories can bring up traumatic events that may have happened in the past. Being in your family home, in your old bedroom, and town you have past memories with can be difficult.
At Anchor Therapy, we offer trauma counseling that can help you overcome past trauma or how to navigate life after a traumatic incident. It may seem as though you have gotten over your trauma by going away to school and getting out of your previous environment. Being home for the holidays or trauma symptoms brought up around the time of the anniversary of the traumatic event can make painful emotions and memories hard to deal with. It is important to seek help to make sense of what happened and how you can better process your emotions. If you are interested in learning more about how trauma can impact you as an adult, read our blog “How Childhood Trauma Can Impact You as an Adult.”
Reconnecting with family members and friends after being away at college:
Seeing your parents, siblings, and/or cousins after being away from home for months might be something you have been longing for. It also can be a challenge seeing how different you are from them due to not sharing experiences or feeling disconnected. For childhood friends, you may have certain expectations after not seeing them for a while. During winter break, you will most likely be stuck at home with not a lot going on. Most people enjoy having an old friend reach out to them and attempt to make a plan to hang out while on break.
Being home with friends and family you have been around your whole life can offer the opportunity to take some time to unwind, relax, and rest. Being around friends and family also provides a support system that gives security and trust, which is something that you may not have had while away at school. However, holiday breaks don't last forever, and knowing that you don't have a lot of time to be together can lead to increased stress and depression. You will have to navigate how to balance family commitments on top of your personal time and time spent with friends.
Overall, during this time, it is important to establish realistic expectations and use this time to reconnect with loved ones in healthy ways. If you and your family find yourself struggling with communication and resolving problems within the family dynamic, family counseling may benefit you and your family.
Long-Distance Relationships in College:
While at college, you may have met someone with whom you share many of the same interests and wants. Getting into a relationship at college may be perfect because you go to the same school, do activities together, and maybe hang out in the same social group. But when your significant other lives in a different area than you, being home for the holidays may mean you have to be separated from your partner.
This may come as a challenge because although you spent a lot of time together while at school, you may not have taken on the challenge of a long-distance relationship with this partner. This can not only be emotionally challenging but also make you feel lonely and upset not being able to spend your time with them during the holidays.
Furthermore, if you are just starting a relationship and have not established labels during the holiday season, it can put pressure on defining your relationship. This can create confusion and stress in the new relationship because one or both individuals may not know what they want or aren't ready to make a commitment.
Winter break is also a time when a lot of self-reflection may happen. With the new year approaching, we often consider what our plans may be for the future. The holiday season may make you feel anxious and uncertain about what you want to come out of this relationship. Along with anxiety, feelings of insecurity and jealousy may arise when a partner is not present. Maybe you have not established trust and communication in the relationship. In that case, you may find yourself worrying about why they haven't texted you for an extended period of time or who they may be hanging out with. Holidays can interfere with your regular communication patterns and finding time to catch up. If you are interested in learning more about long-distance relationships, read our recent blog, “Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Relationship in College.”
How can therapy help me with stress from the holidays as a college student?
Coming home for the holidays can generate many emotions such as increased stress, excitement, sadness, or happiness. After moving away from home for college, you have spent time on your own, adjusting to a new routine and lifestyle. You may have gained a new perspective, changed your appearance, made new friends, or just feel like you have changed all around. This can make coming home and back in your old room feel like you're not the same person you were before college. This can make you feel disconnected, confused, and emotional.
Packing up your college dorm or apartment after finishing up finals and not really getting the chance to catch your breath can create additional stress. Feeling anxious or depressed is normal during this time. There are a lot of factors that can take a toll on your mental health.
At Anchor Therapy, we offer a variety of services that can best assist you during this time. If you are struggling with anxiety or depression, we have counselors who can help you navigate how to address your personal needs and goals. Holidays can also bring up traumatic events or maybe fall on the anniversary of a traumatic event. If you are struggling with trauma or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), trauma counseling could help you work through your trauma. Holidays should be an exciting time for you; if you are struggling with something, it is important not to go through it alone. There are a variety of therapy treatments available and trusted professionals who are there to help you through this process.
Addison Selzer
is an Intern at Anchor Therapy. She is an undergraduate student at the University of Delaware studying Human Development and Family Sciences with a concentration in Clinical Services. Upon graduating undergrad, she is looking to pursue a graduate and doctorate degree in Clinical Psychology with the goal of becoming a therapist.
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