Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

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Is It Normal To Be Homesick When Studying Abroad?

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Is It Normal To Be Homesick When Studying Abroad?

Studying abroad can be a truly beautiful and transformative experience. After all, you are intentionally putting yourself in a new country, embracing the culture, language, and varying perspectives in the process. There is no thrill like that of exploring a new country or place you have never been to before. And being able to study in such an environment shows how gaining a global education is unmatched. However, along with this excitement, uncomfortable emotions may arise too, such as being homesick. 

Homesickness while studying abroad is very common, but that does not mean that it does not feel overwhelming to try to navigate at times. Being away from familiar surroundings, loved ones, and the comfort of home or your college campus is hard, and homesickness is a normal emotional response to have. 

Even though homesickness comes with its fair share of challenges, it can also provide an opportunity for personal growth. Coping with the emotional ups and downs that come along with studying abroad can make you more resilient and adaptable- skills that you can utilize in the future time and time again. 

If you are looking for tips to deal with homesickness while studying abroad as a college student, continue reading this blog. As you read this article and embrace your new surroundings, you will find a way to balance the beauty of studying abroad with the hardships of homesickness!

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How An Alcohol Therapist Can Help With Binge Drinking

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How An Alcohol Therapist Can Help With Binge Drinking

Consuming alcohol is a big part of American culture. It is normal to go out to bars with friends for a night out on the town, or have that glass of wine with dinner. While many people can safely consume alcohol and it has no impact on their day-to-day life or functioning, other people struggle with their ability to restrict how much alcohol they consume.

According to the PEW Research Center, 62 percent of adults in the United States have consumed alcohol with 38% of the nation’s adult population completely abstaining from alcohol consumption. Among adults who drink, 69% have had a drink within the past week. About one-in-five United States adults admit to drinking more than they should.

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A College Student's Guide to Making the Most Out of Summer Break

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A College Student's Guide to Making the Most Out of Summer Break

Summer break time! Finally the semester has come to a close and you can breathe after the immense amount of work put into the last two semesters. You made it, congratulations! College students can finally say goodbye to lectures and exams, and say hello to adventures with friends, vacations, and a temporary escape from academic responsibilities, woohoo!

For many, it's a time of freedom, exploration, and relaxation but oftentimes, navigating the shift to summer break and the significant change from your usual routine can feel daunting. This often leaves you uncertain about maximizing your time away from campus. Remember these feelings are normal and expected and there are ways to combat this. In this blog, we'll dive into various tips and strategies to navigate summer break successfully. I will help you aim for enjoyment, productivity, and self-improvement.

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Surviving Summer Internship Application Stress: Strategies for Stevens Institute Students in Hoboken

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Surviving Summer Internship Application Stress: Strategies for Stevens Institute Students in Hoboken

In the modern-day world, it may feel like your academics come second to real world experience. After all, people often say that experience is everything, but how do you get this experience in the workforce? Especially if you are a freshman in college, the process of finding a college internship can feel overwhelming and you may not feel qualified for any of the positions that interest you. You may even find that a lot of the entry-level internships require you to have previous work or internship experience. Needless to say, the hours of time and dedication spent towards researching companies and preparing application materials can begin to feel hopeless.

While everyone is discussing their summer plans, you may feel a wave of anxiety running throughout your body since you are still awaiting your answer. Whether you are procrastinating the summer internship application process or you are waiting to hear back from employers, stress will naturally occur. While it can be tempting to let your stress consume you and to dwell on your current circumstance, that will not help your mental health in the long-run. Luckily, there are strategies you can adopt in your daily routine to put your mind at ease.

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Balancing Home and College: Navigating Mental Health During Holiday Breaks

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Balancing Home and College: Navigating Mental Health During Holiday Breaks

The Holidays can be a very exciting time. Around the time of the holidays, there is a lot of joy and giving. People are usually in high spirits and excited for the holiday. For college students, this may look different. This is the time when college students are cramming for exams, overwhelmed and stressed, all leading up to going home for winter break. This can take a significant toll on the mental health of students. After finals and moving back into their parent's house, being back in their hometown can be a significant change. With so much going on, not having the chance to sit down and reflect on these changes can result in feelings of anxiety and depression. 


Feeling mentally and physically drained after college semester:

The weeks leading up to going home for winter break can be extremely stressful and mentally taxing. Coming home for winter break can be very exciting but also sad. Although it is the holidays, you are ready to go home and miss your family. Right before going home, you may find yourself staying up late, cramming for your final exams. You may be trying to fit in social time with your friends before you go your separate ways for the break. In just a few short weeks after Thanksgiving break, you may be homesick and feeling burnt out with the end of the semester so close. Jumping back into school after being off for a week and being expected to study and take exams can take a toll on college students. After a long semester and the finish line so close, it can be hard to push yourself to that last stretch.

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Navigating Post-Grad Life: 9 Essential Insights for Recent College Graduates

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Navigating Post-Grad Life: 9 Essential Insights for Recent College Graduates

College may have been the best or worst years of your life. Regardless of how your experience may have gone, you are about to face a lot of uncertainty and change after graduating. You are now about to enter the real world and all of the responsibilities that come with it. The student loan bills you thought you had years to pay back may ambush you when you really aren't prepared for them. You may find yourself jobless, not knowing what you want to do for the rest of your life. Maybe you found a job but realize this is not what you want to do for the rest of your life. Or maybe you live in your parent's basement and are unable to support yourself financially. These are concerns that most college students don't think about because we like to have our dreams and aspirations, but what happens if those dreams don't come true? With these 9 things you wish you knew about life after college, you can find ways to prepare or work through the struggles you may face during this life change. 

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7 Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Relationship in College

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7 Tips for Maintaining a Healthy Relationship in College

Why College Relationships Are Different

Dating in college may often feel or look different than a relationship you may have had in high school. In college, there are additional possibilities to find new people to connect with, along with the freedom to explore your identity in ways you were deprived of in high school. Coming into college with a relationship can be a challenge. Separating your personal lives and gaining new experiences without your partner is one of the biggest struggles. It is important not to limit yourself and spend all your time with them. 


College relationships are typically more mature than the relationships you may have had in high school. In college, you have the freedom to date who you want and the ability to hang out with people without parent's opinions or rules about when, where, and how long you can see this person. You will also be less likely to permit petty arguments or miscommunications that you may have with an immature relationship. Your partner will most likely have a different schedule than you and have their own responsibilities, such as school work or if they are a part of a club. This is different from when you were in high school and may have been confined to being in the same school building for eight hours a day every day. A college campus is large, and your classes may be on different sides of the campus or at different times. This makes it unlikely you will run into your partner on your way to class if you go to the same school. If you plan to have a long-distance relationship with your high school partner everything will most likely change. In order for the relationship to work it is going to require effort from both sides and some changes will have to be made.

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Why Do You Experience Grief After A Friendship Breakup?

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Why Do You Experience Grief After A Friendship Breakup?

What is friendship grief?

Losing a friend can be one of the most heartbreaking experiences one may experience. Friendships are manufactured around understanding and trust. After that trust and bond are broken, it can leave us with an empty gap in our hearts that may never be restored the same as it was with that one friend. Just like any relationship breakup, whether it be romantic or a friendship, one of the most complex parts of the adjustment is accepting that things will never go back to normal. Accepting that that valuable connection you once shared with someone is now absent. 

Why losing a friend hurts so much:

Losing a friend can feel like losing a piece of yourself. The emotional intimacy shared with a close friend can be as powerful as a romantic partner. No matter why or how the friendship ended, the feeling of being unwanted by someone you once shared a strong connection with is challenging to endure. If your friend is the one who breaks the friendship, it can leave you heartbroken. Having a best friend provides you with a sense of security and someone who you associate a majority of your memories with, good and bad. A close friend may have gotten you through a difficult time in your life or helped you progress through certain aspects of your life.

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Understanding and Managing Symptoms of ADHD in College Students

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Understanding and Managing Symptoms of ADHD in College Students

What is ADHD?

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or “ADHD,” is a common brain-based disorder that may negatively affect individuals' behavior and attention. Oftentimes, ADHD interferes with daily activities at home, school, work, and with your relationships. Those who have ADHD have higher levels of impulsivity, inattention, and possible hyperactivity compared to their peers. Psychologists and doctors gather findings about how many and what symptoms someone may have, how long they have been happening, and how severe they are. People who are diagnosed with ADHD have multiple symptoms, not just one. People with ADHD are typically creative, bright, and funny individuals who have had to navigate life in a different way, gaining a sense of self-respect along the way.

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College Student's Guide to Thriving Through Life Transitions with Insights from Barbie

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College Student's Guide to Thriving Through Life Transitions with Insights from Barbie

In the new popular film Barbie, Barbie is malfunctioning, something she has never experienced before. She is unhappy with her new appearance and the raw emotions she is beginning to experience. Barbie tries to resist the changes she is going through, although these life alterations are unavoidable. Despite the fact she is comfortable with her old life and perfect routine, she begins to acknowledge that by embracing her changes, it is essential to alter standards and ideas that require improvement. 

For a college student, there are numerous changes that you will go through. You will be making new friends and losing others, challenged with managing your time efficiently, accepting responsibility, meeting higher expectations, and so much more. Although it may seem daunting now, these changes will challenge your way of thinking and allow you to expand into the person you want to be. 

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5 Ways I Prioritize My Mental Health In College

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5 Ways I Prioritize My Mental Health In College

My name is Madeline and I am a social media intern here at Anchor Therapy. I am currently a junior in college and it has taken me quite a while to figure out how I can prioritize my mental health. Between taking six classes, working two jobs, and trying to balance friendships and schoolwork, it can be very overwhelming and my mental health often used to take a back seat. I always find myself wanting to do everything I can at the same time to make sure I am having the traditional “college experience” that I have heard about my entire life. This year especially I have been making more of an effort to prioritize my mental health and do what is best for me. Here are my top five tips on how to balance your mental health while being in college.

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How Can CBT Help College Students Struggling with Anxiety?

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How Can CBT Help College Students Struggling with Anxiety?

While college can be a great time for growth, social exploration, and fun, it can also be a time filled with stress. Especially during this time of the year, final exams are in full swing and you may feel like you have a lot on your plate. Whether you are just dealing with the stress of your schoolwork or you are also trying to balance work and other responsibilities, college can easily breed feelings of anxiety.

In addition to your responsibilities, many people struggle with the changes that college can bring about. You are no longer surrounded by your family and friends. Your everyday routine has changed in a big way.

Some common causes of anxiety in college students include:

  • Academic pressure

  • Moving away from home

  • New social situations

  • Financial stressors

Many college students report having anxiety so you are not alone! By learning about your anxiety and working with a therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, also known as CBT, you can make positive changes in your life and learn how to manage your anxiety!

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Navigating Life After College

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Navigating Life After College

Congratulations on graduating from college! It is undeniably an exciting time in your life. You worked hard for four years and now your dedication has paid off. It is a major accomplishment, and you should be proud of yourself. However, once that diploma is in your hand, you may feel a mixture of emotions- feeling anxious, excited, scared, nervous about your future. If you feel this way, please know that you are not alone and it is completely normal to have these feelings.

Many college students are not prepared for the transition after graduation. Some graduates wish that they would have been more engaged on campus or taken part in different academic and professional opportunities. Other students wish that they would have prepared themselves more for the workforce by participating in an internship or externship. While it is easy to look back and think of what you could have done better, it is important to ground yourself in the present moment and know that you accomplished the ultimate goal- graduating from college.