Are you feeling like you are growing apart in your relationship, bickering over small things, or just becoming more frustrated and impatient with one another? Are arguments occurring more frequently and more intensely?
All relationships experience arguments, but at times navigating through the conflict may seem more and more challenging. We find ourselves falling into communication cycles that we cannot seem to break out of and we don’t know what to do differently. On top of it, the pandemic is amplifying tensions and bringing out those underlying cracks in our relationship. We keep trying to struggle through it with our partners, but are finding ourselves feeling increasingly frustrated, angry and exhausted.
Whether your relationship could just use a tune up or you are feeling desperate for change, couples counseling can be the tool that helps get you what you need in your relationship. Seeking help earlier in the process is a benefit because unhealthy behaviors can be more difficult to change as time passes (but never impossible!). We all have behaviors we can work on and therapy can give us the opportunity to work on ourselves while also developing a better understanding of our spouse or partner(s).
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, and life transitions. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing telehealth (video/phone) sessions to residents of New Jersey and New York.
Who Can Benefit from Relationship Counseling?
All types of relationships for many different reasons can benefit from counseling. “Couples counseling” is an umbrella term used for many types of relationship counseling. Whether you are newly married, a long-standing couple, power couple, LGBTQ+, dating, premarital, married, divorcing, or in a polyamorous relationship, we all at times can use relationship help! No relationship goes without a bump in the road and seeking additional support can help keep your relationship moving forward in a positive way!
types of Relationships that can benefit from counseling:
New parents and expecting parents
Bringing home a newborn is an incredible experience, but it does not come without its hurdles! Navigating the world of parenthood is challenging, let alone in a pandemic. It is one of the biggest stressors on couples and marriages. A lot of relationships are not prepared for how shocking the change can be.
Couples counseling can help you navigate these common problems:
Major lifestyle changes- when career, friendships, hobbies, date nights take a backseat
So many tasks and never enough time!
Differing parenting styles
No sleep and no time to relax
Navigating IVF and/or postpartum challenges
Couples counseling cannot erase the challenges you are experiencing but can help you deal with them. Counseling will support you in communicating more effectively with your partner and handling these challenges with improved tools.
2. dating or premarital
Dating is not always a honeymoon phase and the reality is it takes work to build a solid foundation. Seeking out couples therapy earlier on in the relationship can help dating and premarital couples build healthy communication patterns and blend their experiences and styles in a positive way.
Common relationship problem topics:
Money
Sex
Family
Boredom
Trust
Trauma
Anger/Argument styles
Navigating the above conversations and other topics is difficult, but learning the tools to better communicate about them can help take your relationship to the next level. You and your partner do not come into the relationship with the same mind set or experiences. Couples counseling will help you work together to better understand one another’s past and current views to help cement the building blocks needed for a long-lasting relationship.
3. Long-standing Couples and married couples
You both are pros and have been through a lot together! However, with time you may be feeling as if you are growing apart, not on the same page, or just feeling the pressures of every day life and the pandemic. Over time, you both may have been prioritizing the relationship less due to the millions of other demands you have on your time. Turning to couples counseling can help give you and your spouse a dedicated time to check in with one another and rebuild moments of close connection. When we rely so heavily on our person to keep our career, family, and life going, we often do not take the time out to connect on an emotional level and remember to incorporate in some fun and communication.
Common topics these couples may bring to marriage counseling:
Feeling more distant/lack of connection
Anger and arguing more
Boredom
Roles and responsibilities feel imbalanced
Childcare and family stressors
4. Polyamorous relationships
All relationships encounter problems, but when in a polyamorous relationship it may feel difficult to reach out for help as many people lack knowledge or could come with judgmental views. Counseling can be a safe space for you to work through aspects of your current relationship and navigate ways to improve communication, tackle conflict and foster trust. If you are currently monogamous, but are thinking about opening up your relationship, couples counseling can be a supportive space to communicate about exploration.
5. Divorcing Couples
The divorce process is complex and painful. Seeking therapy to help you both communicate about the tangible aspects of a separation, along with the emotional aspects can be extremely helpful.
Topics navigated in marriage counseling around divorce include:
Housing
Money
Co-parenting
Social circles
These topics can be navigated through in a safe space that marriage counseling brings. You can also mutually work through the idea of life after the relationship. The grieving process comes with the emotions of anger, denial, bargaining, and depression. Gaining support managing these emotions can help lead you to a stage of acceptance and healing.
6. Power Couples
You both hold high powered professions and are thriving in your own respect in terms of career and friendships. Your sense of self is autonomous and the relationship is that added bonus to your life! People envy you and your relationship, but that still does not mean it operates seamlessly. It takes work to collaborate and bring out the best in one another. Careers can be stressful and at times we may take that stress out on one another. We may be finding some bumps in our communication patterns and even at times some feelings of jealousy. Seeking out therapy is not an admission that the relationship is not a strong one. Therapy can help you continue to navigate your relationship in a positive way so that you and your partner can continue to empower one another and lead successful lives.
7. LBGTQ+
LGBTQ+ relationship counseling can help couples process all of the common relationship issues such as money, family, stress, communication, household chores amongst others. However, there are a few topics that may be unique to LGBTQ+ couples that relationship counseling can help support with.
Common topics that may arise include:
Social stigma & discrimination
Acceptance of self and family
Openness & public displays of affection
Family planning
Open relationships and exploration
Jealousy & trust
Asking for help from a therapist can be intimidating but getting an outside perspective and dedicated time with your partner each week can make a big difference. In couples counseling, it is not about complaining about the other person, but about rebuilding positive communication and finding ways to constructively problem solve with your partner to feel heard and more satisfied. Relationships can grow by improving communication, learning new ways to resolve conflict, rebuilding trust and developing new perspectives!
Elena Lucanie, LPC, LMHC
is a licensed psychotherapist practicing in Hoboken, New Jersey. She specializes in helping teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, substance abuse, relationship issues, and life transitions through counseling. Elena can help NJ and NY residents through telehealth (video/phone) therapy sessions as well.
