Religion is often viewed as a safe space for many people. You meet with a community of people who share the same values and beliefs as you on a regular basis to worship your shared higher power. Religion can be used as a source of guidance for yourself and the group. But, what happens when an individual experiences harm from a religion?
When a religious experience is stressful, degrading, damaging, or abusive, religious trauma can occur. A traumatic religious experience can harm your physical, mental, emotional, sexual, and/or spiritual health.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with mental health therapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, couples, and families with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, life transitions, and more. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and teletherapy sessions to residents of New Jersey, New York, and Florida.
Understanding Religious Trauma
From the beginning of time, religion has played an important role in many communities. Religion has many benefits, such as providing a safe space for like-minded people and crafting a sense of togetherness through rituals and a shared belief system. But, religious institutions can cross the line when religion equates to indoctrination.
When this occurs, religion transforms from a setting for love and peace to psychological and even physical abuse.
Religion can turn into a form of trauma when:
You lose your sense of independence
You fear repercussions from the church’s authority
You feel shameful of your emotions and/or experiences
Different experiences occur in different religious communities.
Components of religious trauma typically include:
Coercion
Humiliation
Embarrassment
Abuse
Indoctrination messages
Here are some common situations where religious trauma may occur:
A religious institution demands financial participation to receive blessings from a higher power
Individuals in a position of religious authority force participation in religious activities and use punishment to do so
Preaching based on cultivating fear and shame in members
Limited access to information which results in suppression of normal child and teen development
Creating self-doubt and diminishing religious members’ independent thinking
Physical and/or sexual abuse
Frequent exposure to unhealthy sexual viewpoints
The application of punishment to achieve obedience or purity
What Are The Three Stages of Religious Trauma?
Religious trauma typically occurs in three stages. Religious trauma can be rooted in spiritual abuse which can have poor affects on your self-esteem, self-confidence, and identity. It can completely change the way you view the world and the people around you.
The three stages of religious trauma are as follows:
You experience trauma - Trauma can be one or several events. It can be directly related to religion, like being sexually assaulted by a religious authority figure. It can also be indirectly linked, such as having a divorce occur in the family.
The trauma impacts your religious experience - The trauma can be viewed through your religion. For example, someone going through separation may feel obligated to stay in an abusive marriage or toxic relationship so they do not become isolated from their faith community. If they separate from their spouse, they may be told that their relationship with their higher power is in jeopardy.
A religious community’s response has the ability to re-traumatize you - Even though the traumatic experience(s) may have passed, the reaction of your religious institution and spiritual community can re-traumatize you. Religious leaders may minimize what you went through or even deny your reports of physical, sexual, mental, spiritual, and emotional abuse. Religious peers may outcast you or even claim that your abuse was somehow deserved. Out of fear, you may avoid sharing your trauma with other people- even the people in your community who you should be able to trust.
Religious trauma may not have one occurrence. In fact, it most likely occurs over an extended period of time where harmful messages are communicated to you. For example, a LGBTQIA+ adult may have grown up in a religious community that told them that their identity was sinful for their whole life.
A study has estimated that 1 in 3 Americans will suffer some form of religious trauma at some point in their life. For guidance, our blog “5 Healthy Ways to Cope with PTSD” is a must-read.
Those part of the LGBTQIA+ community suffer some of the worst long-lasting trauma. For support, read our past blog “What You Need To Know To Find A Gender-Affirming Therapist.”
Religious trauma can also occur when you try to leave your religious community. Leaving a harmful or abusive religion can be beneficial, but it is a difficult thing to do if you have been controlled by a set system of beliefs and rules for your whole life.
The difficult decision to leave an unhealthy religious community may even cause social isolation for you- damaging relationships with family members, friends, partners, and children. Sacrificing your worldview can result in trauma.
For example, let us say that you have been best friends with Anna since childhood. You have attended religious gatherings together and supported each other through many life transitions. However, as you grew up, you experienced religious trauma which resulted in you leaving your religious community as an adult.
As you distanced yourself, your friendship with Anna became strained. Anna tried to understand your decision, but she was ultimately unable to reconcile her belief and your decision to leave. You may feel grief, guilt, and loneliness as a result. Losing a friend due to leaving a religion showcases the complexity of emotions associated with religious trauma. For additional support, check out our blog “Why Do You Experience Grief After A Friendship Breakup?”.
What Constitutes Religious Trauma Syndrome?
Religious Trauma Syndrome, or RTS, is not an official diagnosis, but it is recommended by many trauma therapists. The term is used to describe the negative consequences of unhealthy or harmful religious occurrences.
RTS occurs as a result of religious trauma. Religious abuse or an exposure to dysfunctional beliefs can trigger RTS. Leaving an authoritative religion or abandoning a belief system are prominent components of RTS since this major step opens the door to freedom and confronting your trauma.
Perhaps for the first time in your life you are now required to think for yourself instead of relying on a religious leader or peer. Your emotions may feel like they are taking you on a roller coaster ride during this life transition.
You may feel thankful and free one minute and, then the next minute, you feel grief, rage, fear, and depression- potentially even resulting in panic attacks. For support, read “How To Regulate Your Emotions.”
What Are the Symptoms of Religious Trauma?
Like any other form of trauma, religious trauma can manifest in different forms. A trauma-informed therapist is aware of the signs and symptoms of trauma so that they can provide the best trauma treatment for you. In order to treat your trauma, you first must become aware of the symptoms you have.
Symptoms of religious trauma encompass the following:
Nightmares (Read our blog by psychotherapist Rebecca Bischoff, LCSW “Unlocking the Secrets of Quality Sleep: A Therapist’s Perspective on Sleep Hygiene and Insomnia”)
Eating issues (Check out our blog “Cultivating Good Mental Health for Intuitive Eating”)
Sexual dysfunction (Our blog “What to Expect in Sex Therapy” is a must-read)
Loneliness (Read our blog “The Impact of the Friendship Recession on Mental Well-being”)
Grief symptoms (Check out our blog “What to Expect in Grief Counseling”)
Poor critical thinking skills
Struggling with belonging
Isolation
Lowered sense of self-worth (Read our blog “Do You Understand Your Self-Esteem?”)
Hard time making decisions
Anxiety symptoms (Take our Anxiety Quiz)
Depression symptoms (Take our Depression Quiz)
The Effects of Religion Trauma
Religious trauma can cause or worsen mental health disorders.
Some mental health disorders associated with religious trauma include:
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (Read our blog “Everything You Need To Know About CBT for PTSD”)
Depression
Anxiety
Eating disorders
Leaving a religious community may result in guilt, hopelessness, and fear. You may feel conflicting thoughts about this life transition. On one hand, you should feel liberated and free. On the other hand, you may feel isolated, losing social support from your religious community, making you feel guilty for not relishing in your newfound freedom.
Religious trauma can also result in delayed social milestones. If a religion is based on purity culture, LGBTQIA+ people may feel isolated since they do not have the chance to experience certain social milestones, such as a first kiss or a first date, until adulthood. This can cause frustration which, if not resolved, can turn into impulsiveness or recklessness. A lack of experience may even cause dating stress or anxiety. For more information, check out our blog “How to Cope with Dating Anxiety.”
If you do not confront your religious trauma, it may paralyze you, making it unable for you to move forward in life. You may even have a hard time replacing deep-rooted religious beliefs you hold that are built upon fear, shame, emotional abuse, and/or physical abuse.
The impact of religious trauma can be found in different facets of your life, from causing sexual dysfunction to a lack of boundaries.
Navigating Religious Trauma with Trauma-Informed Treatment
Facing religious trauma can feel daunting. It may feel both emotionally and physically painful to discuss, but talking openly about your trauma is one way for the trauma to lose its power over you. You are not your traumatic experience. Instead, your traumatic experience is something that happened to you.
Separating yourself from your lived experience is a healing moment in and of itself. It is possible to heal from and grow in spite of your religious trauma.
One of the first steps to healing from religious trauma is addressing your religious trauma. You may feel tempted to make excuses for people, especially parents, church figures, or those in a position of authority. While a person may have good intentions, they may also be misguided themselves. Their behavior caused you harm and this is a fact that must be accepted.
As you leave your religious organization and come into your own, it may feel like you are experiencing life for the first time independently. During this process, you may find that some of your beliefs and values differ from that of your previous religious organization and that is okay. You can have an identity distinct from a religion.
Part of this process involves exploring what you believe. For example, perhaps you believe in your place of worship’s main message of spreading kindness, but you do not believe that it is evil or sinful to be in a polyamorous relationship. These might be areas of interest for you.
While your religious community may have played an important role in your past, it is important to forge new connections as you move forward, specifically friendships with people outside of a religious or spiritual circle. Perhaps this gives you the chance to join the book club you have always wanted to join, or a chance to volunteer at a local shelter. Look for ways to connect with other people where religion is not the focal point.
Religious trauma can make you feel unsure of how to move forward in relationships, especially when it comes to setting boundaries. You may be used to people making decisions for you. You may feel strange about setting lines in the sand with people. There are healthy ways to establish boundaries. Check out our blog “How to Understand and Develop Boundaries in Relationships.”
Finding a trauma therapist can feel overwhelming and even daunting. Where do you begin? How do you find a counselor who is trauma-informed? Luckily, at Anchor Therapy, we have trauma counselors who are knowledgeable about trauma, including Complex-PTSD.
The following are some benefits of working with a trauma therapist for religious trauma:
Specialized understanding
Holistic healing
Safe space
Empowerment
Trauma-informed approach
Healing relationships
Self-discovery
Last but not least, pinpoint your future hopes and dreams. While healing from religious trauma is a process, your trauma is in your rearview mirror. It may be hard to see it now, but the best is yet to come. You have the ability to be intentional about the new life you want to create for yourself. Make a list of your goals, and be prepared to venture outside of your comfort zone.
Religious trauma is difficult to deal with, but you are not alone. Being aware of your trauma is the first step in receiving the trauma treatment you need and deserve.
Victoria Scala
is the Social Media Manager and Intake Coordinator at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey. She is a graduate of the Honors College of Rutgers University-Newark. In her roles, Victoria is committed to managing the office’s social media presence and prioritizing clients' needs.
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