Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

trauma therapist hoboken nj

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How to Use Anxious Attachment Therapy to Build Secure Attachment

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How to Use Anxious Attachment Therapy to Build Secure Attachment

Are you struggling with anxious attachment patterns in your relationships? Do you feel abandoned when you are away from your partner? Do you find yourself needing constant reassurance from other people? How do you feel when a significant other or friend wants some alone time? If you find yourself fearing abandonment, needing constant reassurance, and feeling insecure, you are not alone in your relationship struggles.


An anxious attachment style can deeply impact your emotional welfare and ability to successfully connect with others. With that being said, with the right tools and mindset, you can move towards building a secure attachment style! A secure attachment style refers to a healthy, positive pattern of emotional bonding that occurs in a relationship. It is characterized by trust, comfort with intimacy, and the ability to rely on other people without a fear of rejection or abandonment. Specifically, with therapy for an anxious attachment style at Anchor Therapy, you can learn how to reframe your anxious thoughts into positive, more realistic ones to build better connections in your life, whether romantic or platonic!

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How To Find In Person Therapy Near Me

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How To Find In Person Therapy Near Me

Finding a therapist who is the right fit for you can be a challenging task to say the least. Now, when you try to find an in-person therapist near you, it may be extra harder. A therapist in Hoboken can give you expert mental health advice as well as a space where you feel safe and genuinely supported as a client and human being. With many therapy options available, finding a therapist near me who aligns with your needs, such as your area of concern or type of therapy you are seeking, and schedule can feel stressful. Whether you are dealing with anxiety, career stress, relationship issues, trauma, or are simply seeking personal growth, mental health counseling can be a tool for powerful transformation and self-improvement. 


Starting the search for the right therapist can seem daunting, particularly if you do not know where to start your therapist search or how to filter through your options of counselors. It can first be important to understand your own preferences when it comes to finding a psychotherapist, from specialization to treatment approach. Knowing what is most important to you will help make the search a little easier and ensure that you find a therapist that truly fits your needs. For extra support with this process, check out our blog “How to Find The Best Therapist Near Me.”

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Why Do I Have Control Issues?

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Why Do I Have Control Issues?

At one point or another, everyone has struggled with control in some way shape or form. Perhaps you try to take control over a romantic relationship so you do not let emotions cloud your judgment. Maybe your control issues really come to the surface at work where you compete with your peers. Past experiences or a fear of uncertainty commonly drive control concerns. You may have a deep-seated belief that being in control equates to safety and stability. 


Continue reading this blog if you want to explore the root causes of control issues, learn how control concerns manifest in your behaviors and relationships, and, most importantly, to see what coping strategies can be implemented in your life to regain a sense of balance and flexibility. When you understand the underlying motivations of your control issues, you can take healthier actions to better yourself which will also better the interactions you have with other people. This will ultimately lead to a more fulfilling, happier life. 

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

Have you ever experienced the same thoughts over and over again? Do you dwell on these thoughts, and the negative feelings that come along with it? The repetitive, often negative aspect of thought rumination can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression, as well as worsen existing conditions.


Rumination is when you feel stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. Rumination is an obsessive form of thinking that includes excessive, repetitive thoughts or themes that conflict with other mental activity, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Although thought rumination typically occurs for individuals with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), anyone can struggle with obsessive thinking. 


Rumination can transform worry into a habit or a way of life. Obsessive thinking can be a hard cycle to break, but it is possible! Continue reading this blog to learn how to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts.

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Can PTSD Cause Memory Loss?

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Can PTSD Cause Memory Loss?

If you suffer with memory issues, you are not alone. Memory loss is extremely common for people struggling with trauma, especially Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD can impact many facets of your life- emotionally, cognitively, and physically.

One lesser-well known PTSD symptom that people do not often talk about is memory loss. This can include both short-term and long-term memory. There is a direct link between PTSD and memory loss. Lifestyle changes and working with a trauma therapist can help. Keep reading for more information!

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How to Heal from Religious Trauma Syndrome with Religious Trauma Therapy

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How to Heal from Religious Trauma Syndrome with Religious Trauma Therapy

Religion is often viewed as a safe space for many people. You meet with a community of people who share the same values and beliefs as you on a regular basis to worship your shared higher power. Religion can be used as a source of guidance for yourself and the group. But, what happens when an individual experiences harm from a religion?

When a religious experience is stressful, degrading, damaging, or abusive, religious trauma can occur. A traumatic religious experience can harm your physical, mental, emotional, sexual, and/or spiritual health.

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Healing Abandonment Trauma with Inner Work

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Healing Abandonment Trauma with Inner Work

While abandonment is a very real and prevalent topic in many people’s lives,it may seem like  the abandonment wound goes under the radar in the world of mental health. Abandonment is not necessarily a diagnosable mental health disorder, but that does not mean that abandonment does not cause mental health concerns. In fact, abandonment can trigger a fear or anxiety of the people who are the closest to you, leaving you. 

Struggling with abandonment issues can trigger additional worries in your life, such as the inability to form meaningful relationships with other people. There are many causes of abandonment, from lack of closeness with a parental figure to inconsistent emotional support. Early childhood experiences are one of the largest contributors to developing abandonment problems as an adult.

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Everything You Need To Know About Sexual Trauma Therapy

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Everything You Need To Know About Sexual Trauma Therapy

Anyone who has experienced physical or sexual violence in their life knows the devastating affects it can have on your psychological well-being and physical self. Even after the sexual trauma has happened, the negative ramifications continue to live on. After your trauma, you may lose faith in humanity, therefore making it more difficult for you to trust people.

Healing from sexual trauma is a highly individualized experience, and there is no timeline put on healing. In order to journey ahead on this emotionally-taxing process, you need to practice time, patience, self-compassion, and locate the right resources, like a trauma therapist.

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What Is Considered Intergenerational Trauma?

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What Is Considered Intergenerational Trauma?

While you may not have heard of the term “intergenerational trauma”, you may have heard the coined phrase “generational curse.” Intergenerational trauma, or a generational curse in simpler terms, refers to trauma that is passed from a trauma survivor onto the family’s descendants. If you are experiencing intergenerational trauma, you may be living through symptoms, reactions, patterns, and the emotional and physical effects of a loved one’s trauma, such as a parent or grandparent.

This concept of trauma throughout multiple lifespans was developed to explain years of generational challenges within a given family unit. Essentially, it is the transmission of trauma, being sent down to younger generations. If you and your family are struggling with generational trauma, continue to read this blog for much-needed support and guidance.

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How Childhood Trauma Can Cause Anxiety, Depression, & PTSD

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How Childhood Trauma Can Cause Anxiety, Depression, & PTSD

Childhood trauma can have a long lasting impact on people. If you suffer from childhood trauma, you may be more at risk for developing anxiety, depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and other mental disorders. By unpacking your trauma with a trauma therapist or anxiety counselor, you'll be able to process those memories and emotions, and feel like your best self again!

What Is Childhood Trauma?

Childhood trauma is the experience of an event by a child or teen that is emotionally painful or distressful, which often results in lasting mental and physical effects. Childhood trauma can occur when a child witnesses or experiences overwhelming negative events in childhood. Children are too young to process events they experienced which causes them to repress, or bury, the memory.

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The Role of Trauma in Netflix’s Firefly Lane

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The Role of Trauma in Netflix’s Firefly Lane

*Spoilers about seasons 1 & 2 of Netflix’s show Firefly Lane ahead!*

Firefly Lane is a powerful and heartwarming story of two women who formed an unbreakable bond as teenagers, and stayed by each other's side for nearly three decades. Starring Sarah Chalke as Kate Mularkey and Katherine Heigl as Tully Hart, the two go through good and bad times, while battling their own issues. 

In the summer of 1974, Tully Hart moved into a beautiful home on Firefly Lane. Directly across the street from her lived Kate Mularkey and her family. Kate is thrilled when Tully moves in, as she continuously daydreams about being her friend. On the surface, they are as opposite as two people could be. Tully is mysterious, smart, popular and beautiful, while Kate is strange, quiet, and nerdy. They encounter each other a few times outside, where Kate attempts to be Tully's friend, but Tully is closed off. 

One night, Tully tells Kate a secret while she is upset and feeling vulnerable. Kate promises to never tell Tully's secret, and they made a pact to remain best friends forever. By the end of summer, Tully and Kate were inseparable. 

From the beginning, Tully is desperate to prove her worth to the world. Abandoned by her mother at an early age, she searches for unconditional love. She looks to men to fill the void by drinking and having one night stands. As the 90’s approaches, Tully is captivated by the world of television news, as this has been her lifelong dream. She will follow her own blind ambition to New York and around the country, ultimately finding fame and success… and loneliness. 

Kate knows early on that her life will be nothing special. In college, she pretends to be driven by success, but all she wants is to fall in love, have children and live an ordinary life. Although, when she does become a wife and mother, it changes her and makes her question who she is and what she once wanted. 

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How to Heal After Infidelity

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How to Heal After Infidelity

The truth is that working through an affair in a relationship is difficult. On both sides, it requires a great deal of vulnerability, energy, time, work, and commitment. Affair recovery is a process of healing your relationship on a mental, emotional, and physical level after infidelity occurs. Typically, the process of recovery after infidelity can take anywhere from six months to two years, but it is important to remember that each couple is unique. For some couples, it may take a little shorter or longer to fully recover.

The painful process of recovery after an affair requires compassion, strength, and humility. An affair does equate to intense emotional pain; however, that pain does not have to end a relationship. There are ways to rebuild your connection with your partner even after an affair if you are both willing and able to put in the work.