A person’s sex is usually assigned at birth. It is primarily determined by external genitalia, but other factors, such as hormones, chromosomes, and internal organs, can serve as a confirmation. At birth, newborns are labeled as male or female and, in some unique situations, as intersex.
One’s gender identity refers to the subjective sense that a person has that they are male, female, or other. A person’s gender identity is determined by their brain rather than their sexual anatomy. It is agreed upon that most children have a sense of their gender identity by the age of four years old, although it may occur earlier or later in life depending on the individual.
You may feel like the gender assigned to you at birth does not fit you. Maybe you feel uncomfortable about certain gender stereotypes. Perhaps you struggle with parts of your body. Whatever the cause for concern is, your feelings surrounding your gender are valid.
In the beginning, you may have more questions than answers, and that is okay. Luckily, a LGBTQIA+-affirming therapist can assist you throughout your gender transition, affirming you each step of the way.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with mental health therapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, life transitions, and more. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and teletherapy sessions to residents of New Jersey, New York, Florida, North Carolina, and Utah.
The History of Visibility in the LGBTQIA+ Population
Since the early 1990s, people, especially teens and young adults, have become increasingly more comfortable with coming out or identifying as lesbian, gay, or bisexual. In recent years, more adolescents have come out as transgender as well. If you are in need of support during this time, check out our previous blog “Does Coming Out As LGBTQ Ever End?”.
This increase is believed to coincide with the rise of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and/or Questioning, Intersex, Asexual/Aromantic/Agender (LGBTQIA+) awareness and visibility in society, the media, schools, communities, and more.
Additionally, more widespread access to information about sexual orientation, gender identity, and additional LGBTQIA+ topics through the Internet has opened up discussions, helping people learn more about their lives and themselves.
Because of this increased visibility, younger generations of LGBTQIA+ youth are coming out and transitioning genders much earlier than prior generations. Making a gender transition at an early age can have important implications for how LGBTQIA+ therapists, psychiatrists, and doctors work with their clients.
From a historical perspective, services for LGBTQIA+ youth have been centered on protection from harm; however, services have now evolved over the decades. Now, LGBTQIA+ adolescents are served uniquely. The focus is on them instead of their families, friends, and general society.
If you are looking to be an ally to your LGBTQIA+ youngster, “5 Ways to Support Your LGBTQIA+ Teen” is a must-read.
Some Important LGBTQIA+ Terms To Understand
If you or a loved one is going through a period of gender transition, there are some important terms to recognize and understand. The comprehension of these definitions may assist you or a family member or friend throughout this major life transition.
Sexual orientation:
A person’s emotional, relational, and/or sexual attraction to other people. Sexual orientation is typically broken down into three categories: heterosexual or straight, bisexual (interested in people from both genders), or homosexual (lesbian and gay). Attraction, behavior, and identity are all important aspects of sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is seen in relationships so people can have their basic needs for love, intimacy, and attachment met. Therefore, young people may understand their feelings of attachment and connection to other people and their sexual orientation before they become sexually active.
Gender identity:
A person’s internal sense of being male, female, or other. Gender identity is internal so it is not necessarily visible to other people from the outside. One’s gender identity is a personal matter. For instance, some people may identify as male or female, or neither (non-binary or genderqueer refers to identities where one is not solely male or female).
Gender expression:
The manner in which a person expresses their sense of gender identity. This may be done through dress, clothing, body movement, tone of voice, and so on. For young children, they may express their gender through personal items, like toys, clothing, hairstyles, colors, and more.
Gender non-conforming or gender variant:
A person who has a form of gender expression that varies from how their family, culture, or society expects them to behave, act, and dress.
Transgender:
A person who believes that their gender identity does not match their physical body, differs from the gender that other people observe, and is different from the birth gender or gender assigned at birth.
What is gender-affirming mental health counseling?
Gender-affirming therapy includes a range of social, behavioral, psychological, and medical interventions that are created to support and affirm your gender identity when it conflicts with your birth gender.
When working with a LGBTQ+ therapist, a transgender individual is able to align different areas of their life, like their emotional, interpersonal, and biological aspects, to their gender identity.
Gender identity can be defined as:
Man
Woman
Combination of the two
Neither of the two
Fluid (When a person does not identify as solely male or female, and their gender identity alters over time)
There are many LGBTQIA+ interventions that you or a loved one may benefit the most from, from general LGBT therapy to intensive hormone therapy.
The goal of LGBTQIA+ counseling is not treatment. Your LGBTIA+-affirming counselor will not try to change your mind regarding your gender identity. Instead, you will be listened to and understood by your gender-affirming therapist. Your gender-affirming counselor will create an environment of safety for your emotions, concerns, and questions so you can explore openly.
About Gender-Affirming Therapy
You may seek LGBTQIA+ counseling for many reasons. Depending on your situation, you may be experiencing anxiety or depression. Additional significant and challenging life transitions or trauma may be involved. For people who identify as transgender, gender nonbinary, or gender diverse, you will explore your feelings in affirmative therapy.
Affirmative psychotherapy helps you manage your gender dysphoria, also known as stress related to your gender and/or gender identity. You will also touch on stressors in relationships with peers or family members and other mental health concerns where difficulty occurs due to adjusting to these gender-related experiences.
Gender therapy focuses on your social, emotional, mental, and physical needs if you are:
Uncomfortable with aspects of your gender and/or body
Questioning your gender
Experiencing gender dysphoria
Seeking gender-affirming interventions
Not exclusively identifying with the sex assigned to you at birth
While the above points may be a good reason to start gender counseling, it is important to note that you do not have to be experiencing just the above to seek support and benefit from the assistance of a gender therapist.
Gender counseling can be helpful for anyone who:
Wants to develop a deeper connection to their body
Wants to develop a deeper understanding of who they are
Feels confined by traditional gender stereotypes or roles
Why is it important to seek help through LGBTQIA+ therapy?
Therapy should be an affirming experience where you can seek support for issues about your gender identity, or any aspect of your identity. At Anchor Therapy, our LGBTQIA+ clinicians are highly-trained professionals with expertise in behavior, societal implications, mental health assessments, diagnosis, and care. Your LGBT therapist works with you to change or manage negative feelings and attitudes so you can develop healthier and more effective behavioral patterns.
An affirming therapist helps you obtain insight into your thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. Your clinician will also teach you how to process it and even accept the challenges at times. To cope, you can develop improved coping skills or learn new ways to approach these challenges.
What should I consider when searching for a gender-affirming therapist?
We all know that finding a LGBTQIA+ therapist who you click with can be hard. The process can be lengthy and there may be many bumps in the road, but try to not lose hope! Wherever you are, there is someone who can offer you the support you need.
To make your search for a gender-affirming therapist a little easier, here are some things you should search for:
Make sure that your LGBTQIA+ therapist sees the ‘full’ picture
Finding a LGBTQIA+ therapist who you connect and communicate well with is important. It is important to make sure that your therapist can grasp the extent of your mental and behavioral health. Your gender-affirming therapist should also be sensitive to the family environment, your culture, and the community where you live.
2. Be sure that your gender-affirming therapist has experience in your mental health concerns
Your LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist should have evidence of specialized or focused training in your areas of need, such as gender transition, sexual identity, and so on. These trainings can include specialized coursework, continuing education (e.g., conferences, workshops, webinars, and so on), and consulting with other well-trained professionals who share expertise.
Gender therapists seek out continuing education, professional consultations, and trainings to learn about the following topics:
Transgender rights
Gender identity
Gender diversity
Gender dysphoria
Medical and nonmedical gender-affirming interventions
Navigating gender in all aspects of your life
Relevant research and news on these topics
Every client’s needs are different so gender therapy should be too! Your gender therapist will individualize your sessions to suit your needs.
Your LGBTQIA+ counseling sessions should include aspects of…
Psychotherapy
Case management
Education
Advocacy
Consultation with other providers
Gender therapists understand that gender diversity is not an indication of mental illness. Instead, it is a part of the human experience.
3. Ask your therapist about their approach to gender identity-focused work
Before meeting with your therapist, it is important to talk to them and ask them the hard-hitting questions so you can get a sense of their therapeutic approach. Ask your LGBTQIA+ therapist how they approach questions or concerns related to gender identity development, processing, and declaration of identity.
4. Make sure that your LGBTQIA+ therapist is familiar with current best practices
Gender counselors need to provide up-to-date care on gender diversity. This encompasses research and scientific information about gender identity and standards of care in areas like gender diversity, gender development, and the support through challenges like gender dysphoria.
It could be helpful to ask your provider about their awareness of World Professional Association of Transgender Health’s (WPATH) Standards of Care and the American Psychological Association’s (APA) transgender and gender non-conforming people guidelines.
5. Be sure that your gender counselor understand that each person is unique
Your therapist’s interventions should align with your needs, and they should be ready to identify support and additional resources that you may need. Gender competent therapists should also have a referral database of other gender-affirming professionals, such as pediatricians, endocrinologists, psychiatrists, and so on.
Competent gender counselors should be able to help you navigate your process of gender exploration with comfort and acceptance.
6. Figure out if your gender therapist will collaborate with parents, other providers, and so on to determine care options
LGBTQIA+-affirming clinicians should always offer appropriate information regarding options to lessen gender-related distress. For children and teens especially, there should be an effort made to increase comfortability as their identity develops, and cognitive and physical development continues to make progress.
Families play a critical role in adolescent development and well-being. It has even been proven that good family connections are protective against major health issues. Until rather recently, there was little data on parents’ reactions to their LGBTQIA+ children from the perspective of parents and caregivers.
Currently, there is a family-oriented approach to services and care. Practitioners are now working proactively with LGBTQ families and children. This includes providing accurate information on sexual orientation and gender identity for parents and caregivers early in their child’s development.
If you know someone who is going through the process of a gender transition and are looking to support them, check out our blog “How to Support Your LGBTQIA+ Family Member and Become An Ally.”
Overall, finding a LGBTQIA+ therapist who affirms yourself and your identity can be hard, but it is not impossible. By doing your research and having a frank conversation with your gender therapist, you can make sure that they are the right fit for you and someone who you feel comfortable opening up to. Finding a therapist will be helpful and rewarding in the long-run. Having someone who makes you feel safe and accepted is valuable - no matter where you are in the gender transition process.
Victoria Scala
is the Social Media Manager, Intake Coordinator, and Office Manager at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey. She is a graduate of the Honors College of Rutgers University-Newark. In her roles, Victoria is committed to managing the office’s social media presence and prioritizing clients' needs.
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