Alcoholism is extremely common and can be detrimental to someone’s relationship with others. It can be very difficult to watch someone struggle with alcoholism and you may wonder how you can help your loved one. For those who know someone struggling with alcohol abuse, it can be very stressful deciding if or how to help them. You risk them getting very defensive or possibly even ending their relationship with you. There are many ways to create a comfortable environment to talk to your loved one about your concerns and there are many places that can offer professional help.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, and life transitions. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and telehealth (video/phone) sessions to residents of New Jersey and New York.
How to spot the signs
There are many ways to tell if your loved one has an alcohol abuse problem.
Here are a few signs that your loved one may be struggling with alcohol addiction. They may:
Drink alone in secrecy
Lose interest in activities they once found enjoyable
Experience extreme alcohol cravings
Make drinking a priority over responsibilities
Have extreme mood swings and irritability
Drink throughout the day
Continue to drink despite health, financial, and family problems
Have an inability to stop drinking despite any health, financial, or family issues
There are many ways you can help your loved one if they are experiencing substance abuse issues. Please know that you are not alone and that thousands of people each day choose to seek help.
Here are five helpful tips that can help you get your loved one the help they need.
1. Identify the Problem
If you continue to spot signs of alcohol addiction in your loved one, it is very helpful to do proper research on warning signs of alcoholism as well as how to properly have a discussion with them. It is best to come into a conversation with your loved one prepared with knowledge of alcoholism and why you believe they may be struggling with alcohol abuse.
Taking a couple of weeks and writing down behaviors you notice can be extremely helpful in helping your loved one realize they have a problem. Don’t be afraid to ask questions to professionals about good ways to have those conversations. Professionals, such as substance abuse counselors and addiction therapists, will be able to adequately provide coping mechanisms to you and therapy for your loved one that will help them overcome their addiction.
2. Have an honest conversation with your loved one
This is the time you can sit down and have a discussion about your concerns to your loved one. They may be defensive, but letting them know your concerns, explaining their behavior, and showing your research to them may help allow them to come to terms with their addiction.
This is the time to tell them how much you love them and how you only want the best for them. Let them express their feelings to you about the situation and, if they do not feel comfortable or feel that they have a problem, an intervention with close friends, family, and an intervention specialist may be necessary.
Interventions can be incredibly helpful in creating a loving environment that allows your loved one to see they have a support system and that they will not go through the rehabilitation process alone. Interventions provide a structured opportunity to make changes and can motivate to seek help. To set up an intervention, create a plan with friends and family members about how you will talk to your loved one whether that is telling them your concerns or asking them to go rehab. You can also reach out to a rehabilitation facility who will typically send an intervention specialist to help you.
Making sure you have a structured plan on how you want the intervention to go will be incredibly helpful for staying on track. An intervention’s purpose is not to accuse them. Instead, it is to offer them your love and resources to get help.
3. Seek Professional Assistance For Your Loved One
Seeking a professional’s help will be extremely important in ensuring that your loved one is able to get the proper help they need. There are many professionals that can get to the root of the issue and conquer the mental blocks causing alcoholism.
Professional help can range in many different ways but a few ways to get help are through:
Behavioral treatments
Medications
Mutual-support groups
Primary care doctors
Rehabilitation facilities
Addiction therapists
Addiction counselors
Many organizations can help someone struggling with alcohol abuse but, ultimately, it is up to your loved one to decide what will be best for them.
4. Identify and Remove Possible Triggers
Many alcoholics drink in response to triggers like social stress or work stress. Identifying and removing triggers can help decrease the possibility of your loved one deciding to drink again. They may need to make life changes such as changing jobs or deciding to end friendships with people who have a negative influence on them or drive them to drink. They may need to avoid certain places that offer a high risk for drinking and relapse.
Some triggers may be:
Family members
Friends
Co-workers
Bars
Clubs
Parties
Holidays
Being with people who are consuming alcohol
Being mindful of what may trigger your loved one to drink can be a major key to ensuring they stay sober. Additionally, having conversations on possible triggers will be extremely helpful in making sure they are not tempted to drink. By removing possible triggers, you are doing everything you can to support your loved ones' recovery.
5. Take Care of Yourself
Dealing with a loved one’s alcohol problem is an incredibly emotional situation that will take a toll on your life. Taking care of yourself and making sure your mental and physical health are okay is vital in maintaining your sanity as well as your loved one’s sobriety. The most important tip is to not face this situation on your own.
Support from friends and family is important but there are also support groups available for those who are dealing with a loved one's alcohol abuse. Al-Anon is a free support group that many individuals have found to be incredibly helpful. It is incredibly helpful to set boundaries and only take on what you can handle.
Therapists can also be incredibly helpful in helping you deal with possible trauma from the process of helping your loved one. Addictions counselors can help you make sure your mental health is okay and provide you with coping mechanisms to mentally recover. Addiction therapists can also help you and your loved one better communicate your feelings to each other and make sure your relationship has a solid foundation. Do not neglect your own needs, and make sure you do routine check-ins with yourself to make sure you are feeling okay.
Overall, having a loved one who is struggling with alcohol abuse issues is incredibly challenging. It can be very emotional and complicated to deal with. By doing your research and finding professional help, your loved one can achieve sobriety. The most important factor is your support for your loved one. However, you should not be afraid to ask for help or put yourself first if the situation becomes too much to handle. By employing the tips mentioned above, you can help your loved one get better.
Madeline Weber
is a social media intern at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey. She is currently an undergraduate student at the University of Delaware, looking to pursue a graduate degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. As an intern at Anchor Therapy, Madeline is committed to helping produce content for the practice’s social media presence and blog.
