Possessing self-awareness refers to your ability to comprehend the things that make you who you are, including your actions; personality; emotions; thoughts; values; beliefs; and behaviors. Basically, you turn your attention to yourself.
While it is good to be self-aware, there is a line. It is not something that you are focused on at every moment of every day. And being too aware of yourself and your behaviors can be a negative thing as it may breed self-consciousness and perhaps social anxiety in some situations.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with mental health therapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, couples, and families with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, life transitions, and more. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and teletherapy sessions to residents of New Jersey, New York, and Florida.
How does self-awareness begin?
Self-awareness is an important part of how we think about ourselves. Who are you really? What thoughts occupy your mind the most? What behaviors have you turned into habits? Who are you in relationships?
The understanding of yourself begins as a child and teen, and only grows more into adulthood. As we grow older, self-awareness becomes very important as it gives us great insight into our thoughts, feelings, sensations, and actions.
Self-awareness is the first part of our self-concept that we can recognize. Your self-concept is the psychology of self. In other words, it is an idea that you build about yourself from the beliefs you hold and the responses of the people around you.
According to research, even infants have the ability to recognize that they are separate from other people. Newborns can differentiate self-touch from non-self touch. At around one year of age to 18 months, even more self-awareness develops.
What are the five elements of self-awareness?
Self-awareness involves a high level of emotional intelligence. It is not just about showcasing empathy to other people, but it is also about having compassion for yourself.
Have you ever wondered why you feel the way you do? Perhaps you feel like your emotions are running rampant and it is hard to get control over them. If you relate to this, check out our blog “How to Regulate Your Emotions.”
Being able to pinpoint and understand your emotions is important in determining your successes and failures.
If you are looking to advance your emotional intelligence, try to develop the five elements of self-awareness.
The five elements of self-awareness are as follows:
Self-concept
As touched on before, your self-concept is the perception you have about yourself. This comes from personal experiences, what you believe you are capable of, and your future aspirations. A healthy self-concept will leave you feeling ready to take on the world and achieve the goals you have set for yourself. Generally, it leads to an overall happier, better life.
If you do not believe that you have a healthy self-concept, work to change how you perceive yourself! It is possible, but it may involve a long self-love and self-confidence journey. For tips, read our blogs “How to Start Loving Yourself Again” and “The Ultimate Guide to Building Self-Confidence.”
2. Thoughts
Your emotions and thoughts are heavily connected to one another. So, if you want to learn how to master your emotions, you first must try to understand and/or get control of your thoughts and thought processes.
You can do this by engaging in an activity where you take note of what you say about yourself. How do you talk about yourself? What do you say when a not-so-positive situation pops up? If you struggle with negative self-talk, check out our blog “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Negative Self-Talk.”
If you notice that your thoughts are more negative than positive, this may be something that you want to notice and change. This change can be done through practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness can help uncover why your thoughts are that way. After practicing mindfulness, reflect on your thoughts to discover why they are that way. Next time, you can try to have more positive thoughts or thought processes.
In the beginning you may not believe your positive thoughts but, over time, they will manifest! Remember, your life is always moving in the direction of your strongest thought(s).
3. Feelings
What does your self-talk look like? How are you affected when other people say things about you? No matter what your emotions are, you must identify which feelings are linked to which thoughts and experiences.
Once you pinpoint your feelings, keep a journal log of them and notice if there are any patterns. If you notice yourself getting caught up in a negative headspace or thought pattern, take the necessary steps to avoid getting looped in.
For example, let us say that you are dealing with a job you do not like. On Fridays, you feel happy and even euphoric as the weekend lays ahead of you and you can do what you want. But, when Sunday rolls around, you find yourself getting sad and even depressed at the thought of going back to work tomorrow. Instead of getting into a negative headspace, you can pause and pull out the coping skills you have in your toolbox. If you struggle with this, check out our blog “4 Ways to Cope with the Sunday Scaries.”
4. Body
Our bodies and minds are linked. Sometimes, an emotion may come out in a physical response. The next time you feel a physical response to an emotion, take note of it.
Where in your body do you feel the response? Your chest and/or heart? Your stomach? Your voice?
Is this the kind of response you want? If not, working with an anxiety therapist at Anchor Therapy can help you maintain your reactions! For more, read our blog “3 Ways to Manage Your Physical Anxiety Symptoms.”
5. Emotions
Emotions can drive our interactions with other people. Having a high level of emotional intelligence means that you can recognize and accept different emotional states you may experience. Being able to identify what emotional state you are in can improve both professional and personal relationships.
If you cannot recognize your emotions, it will be difficult to process your feelings so you can move past them.
When you manage the five elements of self-awareness, you can control your emotions so you can create a happier, healthier life.
How to tell if you are self-aware
Self-awareness is a skill that you can improve upon if needed.
Here are some ways to assess your level of self-awareness:
Introspection
Take time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Why do you think this way in situation X? Why do you act this way in situation X?
You can journal to understand your inner world, noting your thoughts and feelings.
Behavior Observation
Take note of how you react in certain situations. Do you act in accordance with your values and beliefs?
Can you control your reactions and impulses, especially in stressful situations?
Mindfulness Practices
Practice a mindfulness activity, such as meditation, to increase awareness of your thoughts and feelings as they pop up. Check out our blog “How Meditation Can Lead to Stress Reduction.”
You can practice body awareness, paying attention to how your body feels in certain situations. This can give you insight into your emotional state. For more information, read “5 Ways to Nurture Your Mind-Body Connection.”
Emotional Intelligence
Can you identify and label your emotions correctly?
Try to understand your emotions and relate to the emotions of other people.
Working with a licensed mental health professional can provide additional insight into your behavior and thought patterns.
What happens when someone is too self-aware?
Self-awareness is a positive thing, but there is such a thing as being too self-aware. Being too self-aware can negatively impact your social life, mental health, and general well-being.
For one, being too self-aware can result in excessive self-criticism. You may be too critical of yourself, focusing on your perceived flaws and imperfections. This can easily lead to feelings of inadequacy. It may also cause you to strive towards perfectionism. You may set unrealistic standards for yourself and, when you cannot meet them, you become distressed.
Social anxiety can ensue from too much self-awareness. You may overthink your thoughts and behaviors which make you feel overly self-conscious in social situations. This can also cause an increased fear of being judged by other people, leading you to avoid social interactions altogether. For support, read our blog “6 Helpful Tips for Living with Social Anxiety.”
It may also lead to paralysis by analysis. Too much introspection can lead to overthinking and rumination. This can make it hard to make decisions, and could even lead to indecisiveness. With indecisiveness, you may question your choices and actions, leading to a low sense of self-confidence and decisiveness. For more information, check out our blog “How Mental Health Counseling Can Help Your Decision Fatigue.”
Constantly monitoring yourself and critically evaluating yourself can lead to anxiety and/or depression. Constantly focusing on your shortcomings can lessen your self-esteem and lead to feelings of worthlessness. Read our blog “Do You Understand Your Self-Esteem?”.
Being too self-aware can lead you to prioritizing other people over yourself. You may focus on other peoples’ thoughts and emotions, neglecting your own perspective. You may also misinterpret other peoples’ behaviors, assuming that they have negative intentions.
Public self-awareness vs private self-awareness
Self-awareness can come out in different situations and environments. There are two forms of self-awareness: public self-awareness and private self-awareness.
Public self-awareness refers to how you appear to other people. It typically comes about when you are the center of attention.
This is the form of self-awareness that makes you conform to social norms. When you are aware that other people are watching you, you are more likely to behave in a socially acceptable way.
Too much public self-awareness can lead to anxiety. You may become too anxious, distressed, or worried about how other people are viewing you. This can be seen with social anxiety and performance anxiety.
Here are some examples of public self-awareness:
Being conscious of your looks when attending a formal event
Curating social media posts to create a certain persona
Worrying about how the audience perceives you when at a public speaking event
A performer feeling self-conscious about their performance, relying on the audience’s reaction
Private self-awareness occurs when you become aware of some aspects of yourself, but in a private manner. An example of this could be analyzing your face in a mirror. Journaling, meditating, and mindfulness are all ways to build greater self-awareness and become more aware of your inner thoughts and emotions.
Here are some examples of private self-awareness:
Journaling about your thoughts and emotions to better understand your internal experiences
Being aware of your stress levels and identifying triggers
Evaluating your career goals and assessing how it aligns with your values
Monitoring your physical body and energy levels to see if rest or exercise is needed (Read our blog “5 Ways Exercise Benefits Your Mental Health”)
Is self-awareness a skill?
Self-awareness is a skill. You have to be able to consciously recognize and comprehend your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, assessing the impact on yourself and the people around you. With intentional effort and practice, self-awareness can be built.
Building self-awareness is a continuous process and it will mandate regular practice. Your self-perception will change as your circumstances change. Being truly self-aware means that you adapt to new insights and change your behavior when needed.
Self-regulation, empathy, and good social skills are important components of emotional intelligence which is at the root of self-awareness. Having a healthy sense of self-awareness can better your communication skills by helping you fine tune your words and actions.
Mindfulness and meditation can be great practices to cultivate greater self-awareness. Looking for and being able to receive feedback from other people is a great tool to gain insight on your behavior and its impact.
Building self-awareness is always a transformational journey that can benefit the relationships in your life as well as your emotional intelligence. Being reflective, seeking feedback, and assessing your progress will allow you to develop a deeper understanding of self.
If you find it difficult to build self-awareness on your own, speaking to a licensed therapist may be helpful. A therapist can provide unbiased insight and guidance for your unique journey.
Victoria Scala
is the Social Media Manager and Intake Coordinator at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey. She is a graduate of the Honors College of Rutgers University-Newark. In her roles, Victoria is committed to managing the office’s social media presence and prioritizing clients' needs.
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