Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

Hoboken NJ therapist

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How To Find In Person Therapy Near Me

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How To Find In Person Therapy Near Me

Finding a therapist who is the right fit for you can be a challenging task to say the least. Now, when you try to find an in-person therapist near you, it may be extra harder. A therapist in Hoboken can give you expert mental health advice as well as a space where you feel safe and genuinely supported as a client and human being. With many therapy options available, finding a therapist near me who aligns with your needs, such as your area of concern or type of therapy you are seeking, and schedule can feel stressful. Whether you are dealing with anxiety, career stress, relationship issues, trauma, or are simply seeking personal growth, mental health counseling can be a tool for powerful transformation and self-improvement. 


Starting the search for the right therapist can seem daunting, particularly if you do not know where to start your therapist search or how to filter through your options of counselors. It can first be important to understand your own preferences when it comes to finding a psychotherapist, from specialization to treatment approach. Knowing what is most important to you will help make the search a little easier and ensure that you find a therapist that truly fits your needs. For extra support with this process, check out our blog “How to Find The Best Therapist Near Me.”

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Why Do I Have Control Issues?

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Why Do I Have Control Issues?

At one point or another, everyone has struggled with control in some way shape or form. Perhaps you try to take control over a romantic relationship so you do not let emotions cloud your judgment. Maybe your control issues really come to the surface at work where you compete with your peers. Past experiences or a fear of uncertainty commonly drive control concerns. You may have a deep-seated belief that being in control equates to safety and stability. 


Continue reading this blog if you want to explore the root causes of control issues, learn how control concerns manifest in your behaviors and relationships, and, most importantly, to see what coping strategies can be implemented in your life to regain a sense of balance and flexibility. When you understand the underlying motivations of your control issues, you can take healthier actions to better yourself which will also better the interactions you have with other people. This will ultimately lead to a more fulfilling, happier life. 

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

Have you ever experienced the same thoughts over and over again? Do you dwell on these thoughts, and the negative feelings that come along with it? The repetitive, often negative aspect of thought rumination can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression, as well as worsen existing conditions.


Rumination is when you feel stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. Rumination is an obsessive form of thinking that includes excessive, repetitive thoughts or themes that conflict with other mental activity, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Although thought rumination typically occurs for individuals with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), anyone can struggle with obsessive thinking. 


Rumination can transform worry into a habit or a way of life. Obsessive thinking can be a hard cycle to break, but it is possible! Continue reading this blog to learn how to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts.

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How To Not Cancel Plans When You Are Feeling Anxious

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How To Not Cancel Plans When You Are Feeling Anxious

At one point or another, we have all been there. Research shows that 19.1% of United States adults have had an anxiety disorder in the past year. You made plans that sounded fun and exciting but, now, the nerves are starting to set in. Maybe it is a date with a potential love interest. Perhaps it is attending a party where you do not know many people. Suddenly, the idea of going out and staying true to your commitment feels overwhelming. Whether you are just generally looking to avoid discomfort or you have a fear of social situations, anxiety can make you feel like pressing send on the “Sorry I can’t make it tonight” text message and hiding under your blanket. 


However, consider this- what if you did not let anxiety dictate your life? If you struggle with wanting to cancel plans last minute due to anxiety, rest assured that there are practical tips available to help you navigate your anxious emotions and stay committed to your plans without feeling overwhelmed. From mindset shifts to healthy coping skills, you can show up for yourself and other people.

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5 Places to Practice Mindfulness in Hoboken, NJ

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5 Places to Practice Mindfulness in Hoboken, NJ

Let us face the truth- living in the greater New York City area can feel overwhelming at times. The vibrant cityscape of Hoboken can make finding moments of peace and mindfulness seem challenging. 

Whether you are a seasoned mindfulness expert or just beginning your journey to better mental health, Hoboken does have some hidden gems so you can quiet your mind and recharge your soul. From tucking away in a serene cafe to visiting a tranquil park with gorgeous waterfront views, it is possible to find a mindful escape within your own city. To discover five places to practice mindfulness in Hoboken, continue reading this blog!

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What conditions may be treated with CBT therapy near me?

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What conditions may be treated with CBT therapy near me?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, often simply referred to as CBT, is a type of structured talk therapy that is structured and goal-oriented. Mental health professionals, from psychologists to psychotherapists and counselors, use CBT to treat or manage a range of mental health conditions and/or emotional concerns. 


If you are someone who is starting off in your journey of trying to find a therapist near you, you likely have come across CBT therapy. For support in this journey, read “How to Find the Best Therapist Near Me.” CBT is often referred to as the gold standard of mental health counseling as it is one of the most common and best-studied forms of mental health therapy.

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Does living with my in-laws affect my marriage?

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Does living with my in-laws affect my marriage?

Living with your in-laws can have its fair share of ups and downs, therefore having both a positive and challenging impact on your marriage. In one sense, living with your family can be a beautiful thing as it offers you a close and valuable support system. Your in-laws may contribute financially, or provide practical assistance, such as helping with childcare or household responsibilities, for example. This is a great scenario where a nurturing environment is being created. In other words, everyone is looking out for one another, and contributing. But, for this system to work, clear boundaries and open, honest communication must be in place so your needs as both the couple and extended family are being met.

To flip this situation, living with in-laws can add stress to your marriage. You may feel like it is hard to maintain independence or privacy living in close quarters with your in-laws. You may even feel like you do not hold decision-making power, having your in-laws trump your choices time and time again. If you and your in-laws hold differences in lifestyle, values, or expectations, it can worsen conditions. One way to ensure a peaceful household is to prioritize your marriage. Keep reading to learn more!

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The 7 Ways To Make A Relationship Work According to John Gottman

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The 7 Ways To Make A Relationship Work According to John Gottman

The Gottman Method is a type of couples therapy and form of psychoeducation that comes from the work of Dr. John Gottman, an American psychologist and researcher. For over 40 years, Dr. Gottman studied and analyzed what makes a couple successful versus the times when there is trouble in paradise. Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, the wife of Dr. John Gottman, created the Gottman Method, or the clinical treatment framework. Together, the dynamic duo launched the Gottman Institute. 

The Gottman Method is a distinct form of couples therapy. What differentiates this form of counseling from other types of therapy is the extensive scientific research that the Method is grounded in. If you are interested in learning more about the Gottman Method and how it may assist you and your significant other, keep on scrolling!

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How to Find the Best Therapist Near Me

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How to Find the Best Therapist Near Me

A lot of mental health professionals offer therapy, but what does it mean to find the right therapist for you? The truth is that finding some who you fit with like a perfect puzzle can be a complex journey. People have compared finding the right therapist to apartment hunting in the sense that you have to deal with a rather over-crowded market. Demand is high and the availability is restricted. You may have to see a few apartments before you find the right fit for you.

Finding a licensed mental health counselor who you jive with takes time and dedicated effort on your behalf. From hours of searching online to speaking with coordinating teams to ensure your schedules and other factors align, the process can be lengthy. Luckily, if you are in the greater New York City area, Anchor Therapy is here to help!

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How An Alcohol Therapist Can Help With Binge Drinking

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How An Alcohol Therapist Can Help With Binge Drinking

Consuming alcohol is a big part of American culture. It is normal to go out to bars with friends for a night out on the town, or have that glass of wine with dinner. While many people can safely consume alcohol and it has no impact on their day-to-day life or functioning, other people struggle with their ability to restrict how much alcohol they consume.

According to the PEW Research Center, 62 percent of adults in the United States have consumed alcohol with 38% of the nation’s adult population completely abstaining from alcohol consumption. Among adults who drink, 69% have had a drink within the past week. About one-in-five United States adults admit to drinking more than they should.

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The Truth Behind Why Boundaries Are Important for Maintaining Mental Health

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The Truth Behind Why Boundaries Are Important for Maintaining Mental Health

Boundaries are important for maintaining healthy relationships and ensuring our well-being. They help define our limits and protect our mental health by allowing us to prioritize our needs, manage stress, and maintain self-respect. This blog will explore the significance of setting boundaries, the different types of boundaries, and practical tips for establishing and maintaining them.

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The Hidden Impact of Body Image on Your Well-Being

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The Hidden Impact of Body Image on Your Well-Being

Effects of Body Image on well being

In today's fast-paced, media-saturated world, body image has become a significant concern for many individuals. Our perception of our bodies can profoundly impact our mental health, affecting our self-esteem, relationships, and overall quality of life. Many people with poor body image also struggle with anxiety, depression, and turn to unhealthy coping skills to numb these feelings. Body image can vary over time and change throughout an individual’s life and there are many contributing factors. This blog explores the concept of body image, its effects on mental health, and strategies for fostering a positive body image.

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What Is My Subconscious Trying To Tell Me In My Dreams?

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What Is My Subconscious Trying To Tell Me In My Dreams?

Our external experiences inform our internal experiences. Our experiences in the real world go on to inform our beliefs and general understanding of the complex workings of the world. Dreams often mirror our reality, including the highlights of our life as well as our fears and anxieties. 

We are usually not in control of our dreams. Some dreams may include butterflies and rainbows while other dreams feel very realistic, such as a mundane day at work or school. Dreams are a unique form of communication. Especially when a dream feels clear or real, it can feel like your subconscious is trying to convey a message. When a dream feels outlandish, you may question if there is really an underlying message or meaning after all.

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Grieving A Life That Never Was

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Grieving A Life That Never Was

When we think of grief, we normally associate it with the loss of a loved one, like a family member or close friend. However, grief can come in many forms, such as losing something that you never had. Perhaps your life did not turn out the way you imagine it would. Maybe your career did not turn out the way you imagined. Or maybe your dream partner did not turn out how you thought they would. When your dream disappears, you may experience a loss.

Grieving a life that could have been may feel strange. Does it mean that you are feeling sorry for yourself? Are you dishonoring the life you have now by doing so? While there are many complexities of grieving the loss of a life you wanted, it deserves emotional processing too. After all, it is still a considerable loss.

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What Leads To Depression In A Person?

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What Leads To Depression In A Person?

Depression is a complex mental health condition. It can occur for a variety of reasons as there is no one specific, universal cause or trigger. Some people may experience situational or temporary depression after a major life transition, such as a move or the death of a loved one. If you have a family history of depression, you may feel sad or lonely for no apparent reason.

Depression is characterized by persistent feelings of sadness. It can change how you think, eat, sleep, and behave in daily life. There are several types of depression- Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), Postpartum Depressive Disorder (PDD), Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD), Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), and more. Depression can be treatable by working with a depression therapist.

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How to Parent Anxious Children in Hoboken, NJ

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How to Parent Anxious Children in Hoboken, NJ

Parenting is a difficult job, and it can be made even more difficult when you are parenting a child or teen with mental health issues, like anxiety. Everyone has worried thoughts and feelings from time-to-time. Perhaps your child is leaving for summer camp and they are concerned about making friends and being away from home. Maybe they are presenting at their school’s science fair and feel nervous. 

However, when nerve-wracking thoughts cross the line into the territory of anxiety, it may be a sign that your child requires the help of an anxiety therapist. Anxiety counseling can serve as a form of relief for your child from anxiety, and provide them with the coping skills needed to successfully navigate life transitions.

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How to Develop Self-Awareness

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How to Develop Self-Awareness

Possessing self-awareness refers to your ability to comprehend the things that make you who you are, including your actions; personality; emotions; thoughts; values; beliefs; and behaviors. Basically, you turn your attention to yourself.

While it is good to be self-aware, there is a line. It is not something that you are focused on at every moment of every day. And being too aware of yourself and your behaviors can be a negative thing as it may breed self-consciousness and perhaps social anxiety in some situations.

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How to Overcome Your Fear of Commitment

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How to Overcome Your Fear of Commitment

When we think of a fear of commitment, it is normally thought about in terms of relationships, especially romantic connections. However, a commitment fear can manifest in several ways, such as a fear of commitment to a certain career field, job, school, city, goal, and so on. A fear of commitment can be complex. If someone struggles with committing to a romantic partner, they may also struggle with commitment in other areas of their life.

It is natural for people to feel anxious when making major decisions, such as who to date or spend their life with, and during life transitions. For some people, the mere idea of commitment can feel like handcuffs. There is a lot of fear present which triggers an urge to avoid situations or people that would require a certain level of commitment. This could look like something as simple as not joining a gym where you need to sign-up for classes in advance, or it could look like something as major as avoiding engagement and marriage. 

People with a fear of commitment may want a deep love and long-lasting relationship, but past trauma or certain behaviors get in the way. By working with a relationship coach, there are many techniques you can employ to overcome your fear of commitment!

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How to Cope with Postpartum OCD

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How to Cope with Postpartum OCD

While many of us have heard of the baby blues and Postpartum Depression (PPD), there are other mental health challenges that women can face after birth. For more information, check out our blog “The Difference Between Baby Blues and Postpartum Depression.” 

One of the lesser known mental health disorders women experience after birth is Postpartum Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Postpartum OCD is similar to OCD that any other child, teen, adult, or senior citizen else can experience, but it also involves thoughts and behaviors specifically about your newborn baby. 

You do not have to struggle with Postpartum OCD on your own. If you believe you are struggling from Postpartum OCD, it is recommended to seek the support of an OCD specialist as soon as possible so you can get the professional care you deserve.

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Can PTSD Cause Memory Loss?

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Can PTSD Cause Memory Loss?

If you suffer with memory issues, you are not alone. Memory loss is extremely common for people struggling with trauma, especially Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD can impact many facets of your life- emotionally, cognitively, and physically.

One lesser-well known PTSD symptom that people do not often talk about is memory loss. This can include both short-term and long-term memory. There is a direct link between PTSD and memory loss. Lifestyle changes and working with a trauma therapist can help. Keep reading for more information!