How to Parent Anxious Children in Hoboken, NJ

Parenting is a difficult job, and it can be made even more difficult when you are parenting a child or teen with mental health issues, like anxiety. Everyone has worried thoughts and feelings from time-to-time. Perhaps your child is leaving for summer camp and they are concerned about making friends and being away from home. Maybe they are presenting at their school’s science fair and feel nervous. 

However, when nerve-wracking thoughts cross the line into the territory of anxiety, it may be a sign that your child requires the help of an anxiety therapist. Anxiety counseling can serve as a form of relief for your child from anxiety, and provide them with the coping skills needed to successfully navigate life transitions.

Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with mental health therapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, couples, and families with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, life transitions, and more. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and teletherapy sessions to residents of New Jersey, New York, and Florida.

What does anxiety look like in children and teens who live in Hoboken nj?

Anxiety can impact people of all ages, from children and teens to adults and senior citizens. It is a fairly common mental health disorder and it does not discriminate. Being able to recognize the signs and symptoms of anxiety in young people is important in order to get them the support they need and deserve. At different ages, children can present different signs of anxiety.

Oftentimes, it is hard for children to describe the feeling and symptoms of anxiety. Unlike adults, it can be hard for kids to articulate their feelings altogether. For more information, check out our blog “How to Regulate Your Emotions.”

The following are signs and symptoms of anxiety in children and teenagers in hoboken nj:

  • Emotional signs of anxiety

    • Irritability and mood swings - Anxiety may make your child more sensitive or irritable, leading to more mood swings.

    • Excessive worrying - Excessive and persistent worries about many aspects of life, including school performance, personal health, family issues, and so on.

  • Social signs of anxiety

    • Withdrawing from loved ones - Children and teens with anxiety can become socially withdrawn, steering clear of interactions with friends and family members.

    • Fear of social situations - It may even develop into social anxiety which triggers an intense fear and discomfort within your child of social situations. This can make it hard for your child to engage with other people. For support, read “How to Talk to People When You Have Social Anxiety.”

  • Cognitive Symptoms of anxiety

    • Negative thought patterns - If your child or teen has anxiety, it is likely that they often think negatively and catastrophize situations.

    • Difficulty concentrating - Anxiety can make it hard to focus which can significantly impact performance at school.

  • Behavioral Changes of anxiety

    • Avoiding specific situations - Anxious children or teens may avoid situations that trigger their anxiety, such as school or social gatherings.

    • Changes in eating habits - Anxiety can lead to changes in one’s appetite, causing them to eat too much or too little. 

  • Physical Symptoms of anxiety

    • Complaints of frequent stomach pain and headaches - It is not uncommon for anxiety to manifest physically. Children and teens may often complain of stomach aches, headaches, or other physical pains that cannot be better explained by the presence of medical conditions. For more information, read our blog “3 Ways to Manage Your Physical Anxiety Symptoms.” 

    • Restlessness and fatigue - Constant worrying can cause physical restlessness, sleeping troubles, and general fatigue.

How to talk to an anxious child

Talking to an anxious child can be tricky. Is it the time to showcase only compassion? Should I challenge their anxious thoughts? Do I try to teach them healthy coping skills or let them figure out what works for them?

Providing a supportive and understanding setting is important to make your child or teen feel safe and heard. If your child feels comfortable and there are minimal distractions present, they will be more likely to open up. It is also your demeanor that sets the tone. If you approach the situation in a confrontational manner, your child may emotionally shut down. 

As a child or teen, it is already hard for them to express themselves and their emotions. Therefore, it can be helpful to speak to them in language that is appropriate for their age and developmental level. It can be a good plan to learn as much about your child’s emotions as possible which can be done by asking them open-ended questions. If your child casually mentions that they are feeling nervous a lot, you may want to ask something along the lines of “Can you tell me more about what’s making you feel this way?”. 

Regardless of their root cause of your child’s anxiety, it is important to validate their feelings and experiences. Saying something as simple as “I understand that you are feeling worried” can go a long way. Depending on the situation, it may help your child to share a time when you felt anxious. This can show that it is a common experience and they are not alone in their thoughts and mental health struggles.

You may even want to teach your child coping skills. One coping skill that can really help your child is thinking more positively. You can instruct your child to replace a negative thought with a positive affirmation that is rooted in reality. For instance, instead of your child thinking, “I am going to fail my exam”, they can think “I have prepared well for this exam, and I am capable of doing well.” For more information, check out our blog “Do Affirmations Really Work?”.

Another coping strategy may be breathing exercises. Simple breathing routines can help calm your child down when they are feeling anxious. Read our blog “5 Breathwork Techniques to Decrease Anxiety” to learn more.

Lastly, children and teens thrive on routine which gives them a sense of security. This can include a regular bedtime, meal times, and study periods. When change is coming about, you can try to prepare your child for this transition in advance. You can explain to them what to expect, and discuss any concerns that they voice.

Anxious children require clear communication, empathy, and lots of patience. By creating a safe setting and employing appropriate strategies, you can help your child or teen feel understood.

child-jumping-in-playground-over-puddle-and-has-anxiety-in-hoboken-nj

How do I make my child more confident with anxiety?

If your child or teen has anxiety, chances are that they might also struggle with their confidence levels or sense of self-esteem. For more information, check out our blogs “The Ultimate Guide to Building Self-Confidence” and “Do You Understand Your Self-Esteem?”. 

Building confidence in a child with anxiety requires positive reinforcement and lots of supportive strategies. Confidence is built through setting and achieving goals. In other words, teaching your child to believe in their abilities and find reassurance in the fact that their hard work will pay off.

Setting realistic, incremental goals for your child is one way to boost their self-confidence. This can reinforce their efforts and build self-esteem. Engaging in positive reinforcement also works, such as praising their hard work or even initiating some kind of rewards system in your household. For example, a young child may receive a sticker every time they clean up after themselves.

Modeling confident behavior can be a major source of inspiration for young children and teens alike. Show your child how to handle stress and anxiety in a healthy manner. Be the person to show your child that self-care is not selfish, it is actually necessary. To learn more, read our blog “The 8 Forms of Self-Care and How You Can Practice Them.”

If your child has an interest in a subject or strength in a specific area, try to nurture that so your child can enjoy themselves while excelling at an activity at the same time. This can provide your child with a sense of accomplishment.

If your child is of an appropriate age, having them make decisions for themselves can be empowering, making them feel independent while giving them a sense of competence too. For example, maybe you let your child decide what they are going to wear to school or a play date instead of you picking an outfit out for them.

Even if there is a chance of them failing, encourage your child to try new things! Mistakes are all part of learning and growing- it is a very normal part of life. 

child with glasses on reading a book with a bookshelf behind him in Hoboken NJ and he feels anxious

Working with a child anxiety therapist in Hoboken, NJ

Research shows that 1 in 12 children, ages three to 17 years old, have anxiety. Anxiety in children and teens can be overwhelming as it interferes with daily life. If your child cannot operate as normal, it is a sign that you should seek professional help in the form of anxiety counseling. 

Knowing exactly when to consult with an anxiety counselor at Anchor Therapy can ensure that your kid receives the support they need to manage their anxiety effectively. 


Here are some signs that your child may benefit from attending therapy for anxiety in Hoboken, NJ:

  • Constant anxiety

  • Unrealistic fears

  • Frequent complaints of physical symptoms

  • Sleep problems

  • Avoiding certain situations, people, places, and/or activities

  • Withdrawing from family and friends

  • Showcasing irritability

  • Frequent mood swings

  • Sadness or hopelessness

  • Decline in academic performance

  • Struggling with daily routines

  • Substance use

Working with a child anxiety therapist can be crucial in helping your child overcome their anxiety. Professional interventions can help your child learn coping skills according to their unique needs. 

What to Expect in Child Counseling at Anchor Therapy in downtown Hoboken NJ

When you are starting anxiety counseling at Anchor Therapy for your child or teen, you can expect a structured and supportive environment where all of your child’s unique needs will be addressed. 

During the first session, you may attend the intake session with or without your child depending on their age. The child therapist will conduct a comprehensive assessment where they may ask you and/or your child questions, and observe your child to understand their anxiety symptoms and triggers. Based on this initial evaluation and ongoing sessions, a diagnosis may be made, such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Social Anxiety Disorder, and/or Separation Anxiety Disorder. A diagnosis will help an anxiety coach create an individualized treatment plan that outlines what therapeutic approaches and techniques will be used, as well as creating goals for therapy.

Throughout the course of anxiety therapy sessions, your child’s anxiety specialist may decide that a certain therapeutic approach should be used over another. For example, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, simply referred to as CBT, may be used to help your child identify and challenge their negative thought patterns, and replace them with healthier thinking patterns. For younger children, a different type of therapy, like play therapy, may be employed. The use of toys, games, and other creative activities can help children express and process their feelings. Whereas another form of therapy that may be used is Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) Therapy for teens who struggle with social anxiety for instance. 

Skill development is an inevitable part of therapy for children and teens. Kids will learn and exercise coping strategies, such as meditation, relaxation techniques, and mindfulness. To learn more, read our blog “5 Ways to Teach Your Child Mindfulness.” Problem-solving skills may also be taught which provides your child with a sense of autonomy and can make them feel more in control of their life. They will feel prepared to handle anxiety-inducing situations. 

As a parent, you also play a role in the therapy process. You have the opportunity to actively participate in some sessions, seeking your own individual parenting sessions, engage in recommended activities at home, and create a consistent environment so your child can reap all of the benefits of anxiety coaching.

By openly communicating with your child’s therapist, you can be sure that you are up-to-date on your child’s progress, including if they require any adjustments to be made to their treatment plan. Modeling healthy behaviors and promoting your own resilience can also help your child by having a role model.

Your child or teen may experience the following benefits by attending anxiety coaching in hoboken nj:

  • Better emotional regulation

  • Knowledge of coping strategies

  • Positive thinking

  • Achievement of mental health goals

  • Focus and concentration

  • Study skills

  • Enhanced communication skills

  • Lowered level of social anxiety

  • Parental support

  • Empowerment

  • Resilience

  • Relief from physical anxiety symptoms

  • Better sleep

  • Self-discovery

  • Development of self-compassion

  • A safe space to explore their emotions


Through consistency, anxiety counseling can give your child the tools needed to build resilience and navigate their anxiety so they can be the best version of themselves. By creating a nurturing household and equipping your child with effective coping skills, you can help them build resilience and self-confidence at the same time.

Victoria Scala

is the Social Media Manager and Intake Coordinator at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey. She is a graduate of the Honors College of Rutgers University-Newark. In her roles, Victoria is committed to managing the office’s social media presence and prioritizing clients' needs.


IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR HELP FROM A PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR TO ASSIST YOU IN MAKING POSITIVE CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE, CONTACT US

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  2. Our intake coordinator will get back to you with more information on how we can help and to schedule an appointment. We will set you up with an experienced licensed therapist who specializes in what you're seeking help with and who understands your needs.

  3. You’ll rest easy tonight knowing you made the first step to improve your life. 


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