Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

self esteem

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3 Benefits of Working With A Depression Therapist

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3 Benefits of Working With A Depression Therapist

Navigating depression is not an easy feat- it can even feel overwhelming and isolating. Depression is not a one-size-fits-all experience. In other words, depression manifests differently for each person. Luckily, with the right self-help strategies and support from loved ones and a professional depression therapist at Anchor Therapy, you can make significant strides in managing your depression. 

Depression therapy gives you a safe space to explore your emotions, comprehend your underlying emotions, and create effective coping strategies tailored to your unique set of needs. Understanding the benefits of depression counseling is the first step to starting your professional mental health care journey. 

A skilled depression counselor works closely with you to offer personalized care by pinpointing triggers, patterns, and the root causes of your internal struggles. At Anchor Therapy, our depression therapists utilize evidence-based techniques to address your unique obstacles, whether through Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), or more! This type of customized mental health counseling makes sure that you receive practical support as well as structured support that is deeply relevant to your life. 


Working with a depression therapist goes beyond mere symptom management- it is all about creating long-lasting resilience and emotional growth. A depression coach can help you rebuild self-esteem, fortify your relationships, and create better tools to handle future stressors. As you make progress in depression treatment, you will find that you are better equipped to reclaim your happiness and purpose. This alone can make depression therapy a transformative journey worth considering. If you are interested in learning more, continue reading this blog to dive into the three key benefits of working with a depression therapist!

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The Impact of Trauma on LGBTQIA+ Lives

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The Impact of Trauma on LGBTQIA+ Lives

For many people within the LGBTQIA+ community, the journey of identity acceptance is intertwined with unique celebrations and challenges alike. Unfortunately, for many people in the LGBTQIA+ community, trauma is a common experience that ranges from rejection and discrimination to systematic oppression. Every person’s story is different and the impact of trauma can leave great marks on one’s self-esteem, relationships, and overall mental health and well-being. Recognizing how the experiences in your life affected you is the first step to healing.


Trauma in the LGBTQIA+ population is typically rooted in external pressures to conform to the norms of society. Bullying, family rejection, workplace discrimination, and religious condemnation are just some examples of negative LGBTQIA+ experiences that can create deep emotional scars. There are also systemic barriers in place, from exclusion in certain spaces to a lack of access to affirming care, that can worsen these effects. Even microaggressions can create an ongoing sense of alienation. There are very specific challenges at play for marginalized communities, particularly those in the LGBTQIA+ community.


Understanding the impact of trauma on LGBTQIA+ people is important to create a sense of resilience and carve a path to healing. Particularly with LGBTQIA+ youth, only 4% of people in this community reported never having experienced any symptoms of trauma according to the Trevor Project. With a LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist at Anchor Therapy, you both can create a space where you are seen, valued, and safe.

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How to Unlock Emotional Closeness in Your Relationship with An Intimacy Therapist

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How to Unlock Emotional Closeness in Your Relationship with An Intimacy Therapist

In any relationship, emotional closeness is the heartbeat. Many couples struggle to maintain the deep connection they once experienced at the beginning of their relationship as life tends to get in the way. This blockage can lead to feelings of frustration, loneliness, and distance. If you and your partner are in this position, the silver lining is that emotional closeness is not simply something you possess or do not possess. You can view emotional closeness as a skill that can get stronger over time with the right amount of attention and care. One route to this is to work with an intimacy coach who can offer a compassionate, guided way to identify and solve emotional barriers so you and your partner can rediscover the bond that brought you two together in the first place.


Intimacy counseling can provide you with the tools needed to help you and your significant other communicate more openly, create trust, and deepen your understanding of one another. Most times, couples are unaware of the hidden patterns and unspoken fears that dominate their daily conversations and behaviors. Whatever you and your partner are going through, an intimacy counselor is there to create a safe space to explore your challenges. Through this exploration process, you and your significant other can learn to express your emotions without fear of judgment and to build a connection which is rooted in authenticity and empathy.

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How to Use Anxious Attachment Therapy to Build Secure Attachment

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How to Use Anxious Attachment Therapy to Build Secure Attachment

Are you struggling with anxious attachment patterns in your relationships? Do you feel abandoned when you are away from your partner? Do you find yourself needing constant reassurance from other people? How do you feel when a significant other or friend wants some alone time? If you find yourself fearing abandonment, needing constant reassurance, and feeling insecure, you are not alone in your relationship struggles.


An anxious attachment style can deeply impact your emotional welfare and ability to successfully connect with others. With that being said, with the right tools and mindset, you can move towards building a secure attachment style! A secure attachment style refers to a healthy, positive pattern of emotional bonding that occurs in a relationship. It is characterized by trust, comfort with intimacy, and the ability to rely on other people without a fear of rejection or abandonment. Specifically, with therapy for an anxious attachment style at Anchor Therapy, you can learn how to reframe your anxious thoughts into positive, more realistic ones to build better connections in your life, whether romantic or platonic!

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Why Do I Have Control Issues?

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Why Do I Have Control Issues?

At one point or another, everyone has struggled with control in some way shape or form. Perhaps you try to take control over a romantic relationship so you do not let emotions cloud your judgment. Maybe your control issues really come to the surface at work where you compete with your peers. Past experiences or a fear of uncertainty commonly drive control concerns. You may have a deep-seated belief that being in control equates to safety and stability. 


Continue reading this blog if you want to explore the root causes of control issues, learn how control concerns manifest in your behaviors and relationships, and, most importantly, to see what coping strategies can be implemented in your life to regain a sense of balance and flexibility. When you understand the underlying motivations of your control issues, you can take healthier actions to better yourself which will also better the interactions you have with other people. This will ultimately lead to a more fulfilling, happier life. 

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Are Dating Apps Bad For Your Mental Health?

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Are Dating Apps Bad For Your Mental Health?

In today’s world, dating apps have become commonplace. They have become the standard way to meet people and connect, offering access to thousands of potential romantic partners with a simple swipe or tap. There is no denying the convenience of these apps and how easy they make it to meet new people and expand your social circle, but have you ever wondered how online dating can impact your mental health? Do dating apps actually help people find meaningful connections? Do dating apps leave you feeling more isolated than before? More anxious? More dissatisfied?


In this blog, we will explore the complex impact of dating apps on one’s mental health, analyzing both the excitement they offer and the emotional toll they can take. Whether you are an avid user of dating apps or utilize them reluctantly, it is important to understand how online dating can impact your self-esteem, relationships, self-confidence, and overall happiness.

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

Have you ever experienced the same thoughts over and over again? Do you dwell on these thoughts, and the negative feelings that come along with it? The repetitive, often negative aspect of thought rumination can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression, as well as worsen existing conditions.


Rumination is when you feel stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. Rumination is an obsessive form of thinking that includes excessive, repetitive thoughts or themes that conflict with other mental activity, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Although thought rumination typically occurs for individuals with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), anyone can struggle with obsessive thinking. 


Rumination can transform worry into a habit or a way of life. Obsessive thinking can be a hard cycle to break, but it is possible! Continue reading this blog to learn how to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts.

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How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

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How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, simply referred to as PCOS, is a hormonal disorder that impacts women who are of reproductive age. While the cause of PCOS is not well known, we do know that it causes enlarged ovaries with small cysts on the outer edges. Health experts believe a combination of genetic and environmental factors are at play with this disorder. 

The effects of PCOS are still being studied, but we know that those with the disorder can experience a wide range of mental health concerns, from anxiety and depression to eating disorders and low self-esteem. Continue reading this blog to figure out how PCOS may be impacting you mentally and emotionally, and what you can do to cope.

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Exploring Golden Child Syndrome

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Exploring Golden Child Syndrome

A “golden child” the ‘special’ member of a given family unit. Oftentimes, the golden child is pushed to be nothing short of perfect. This typically happens because a parent wants their child to achieve in areas of life where they did not. As a golden child, you may resonate with being able to perform well under pressure, constantly seeking reassurance from your parents, and not being allowed to tell people your true emotions.

Your parents may view your successes as their own which perpetuates a cycle where they are constantly setting high expectations for you. This may cause you to feel excess stress, and you may even begin to feel confused about who you are. Constantly feeling pushes to keep going and achieving with no breaks or self-care can very easily lead to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. 
If the cycle of being the golden child is not broken, the consequences can last a lifetime. You may feel like, no matter how hard you try, you are never good enough. You may have a hard time making decisions on your own without reassurance from other people. You may self-sabotage relationships in your life because you expect the other person to be perfect as well, pushing these unrealistic standards onto others.

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How to Navigate Insecurity After Infidelity

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How to Navigate Insecurity After Infidelity

Infidelities, affairs, and cheating can erode a relationship, the couple as a unit, and the self-esteem of those who have been cheated on. Most people blame themselves for their partner’s decision to be unfaithful.

When you first found out that your partner, fiance, or spouse cheated on you, it was likely a shock to your system. The emotional impact of infidelity can carry long-term consequences and even disrupt your view of yourself and the world around you. You may think that you are less-than or that no one should be trusted moving forward.

You once felt safe and loved and, now, that image has disappeared. So, what else in your life could change? Infidelity can be damaging, but it can also provide an opportunity for personal growth. 

If you decide to stay with your partner, it can be a chance to strengthen your relationship and fix the cracks. If you decide to leave your partner, you may find yourself increasing your dating standards. There is no right or wrong answer here- you ultimately know what is best for you. Regardless of your situation, you can take certain steps to overcome the insecurities you are facing post-infidelity.

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Is Perfectionism A Coping Skill?

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Is Perfectionism A Coping Skill?

Perfectionism is often seen as a good thing. Since when has wanting things to be too perfect a problem? In reality, being a perfectionist can be a double-edged sword. Perhaps you are a self-described overachiever. You excel no matter where you are- at home with family and taking care of children, at work as a business owner, or in school getting a graduate degree for example. While this is all great, being a perfectionist can be a bit of a liability as well. It just depends where you are on the scale of perfectionism. 

As a perfectionist, you may judge yourself in an excessive and overly-critical way. You have high standards for yourself, and you refuse to settle for less. In this way, perfectionism can manifest by being self-critical. It can even extend to wanting to control the people around you or other situations you are in. To learn more, check out our popular blog “7 Ways to Let Go or Control Issues.”

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How to Develop Self-Awareness

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How to Develop Self-Awareness

Possessing self-awareness refers to your ability to comprehend the things that make you who you are, including your actions; personality; emotions; thoughts; values; beliefs; and behaviors. Basically, you turn your attention to yourself.

While it is good to be self-aware, there is a line. It is not something that you are focused on at every moment of every day. And being too aware of yourself and your behaviors can be a negative thing as it may breed self-consciousness and perhaps social anxiety in some situations.

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How to Start Loving Yourself Again

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How to Start Loving Yourself Again

As human beings, we are social creatures. We are told that the relationships we build with other people- from family members and friends to romantic partners- will be an undeniably important part of our life. While this is true, what about the relationship we have with ourselves? It is the most important relationship in our life, yet it is one we neglect regularly.

When you have self-love, you value your own worth and identity. This can include things like accepting yourself exactly how you are and setting boundaries that advance your mental health. Just as you treat other people with kindness, you should show yourself the same love and compassion too. When you learn how to honor yourself, you can nurture your journey of personal growth and self-acceptance.

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The 4 Types of Alcohol Drinkers: What Type Are You?

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The 4 Types of Alcohol Drinkers: What Type Are You?

Every person who drinks alcohol has a reason for doing so. Some people may be struggling with depression and look for a way to ease their sadness. Other people may drink alcohol to keep their social status. If you are struggling with alcohol use, it is helpful to get to the root cause. Why are you drinking? What is truly driving this behavior?

There are a variety of alcohol treatment methods at Anchor Therapy that can help you feel like your best self again.

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Swipe Smart: Navigating Online Dating and Mental Health with Dating Therapy

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Swipe Smart: Navigating Online Dating and Mental Health with Dating Therapy

In a world of swiping left and right on dating apps, it is easy to think that the love of your life could be right at your fingertips. However, if you are someone who is on a dating app, you may have found out the reality that it is not that easy to find your person whether you are looking for something casual, a short-term relationship, or your forever partner.

In other words, modern dating presents its fair share of challenges. There are the practical challenges, such as cycling through the various dating apps, finding compatible people in your area, and carving out the time in your schedule to genuinely connect with others. Then, there are the more emotionally-charged problems, like ghosting, love bombing, and even seeing things take a turn for the ugly when you reject a person.

Instead of waiting around for Mr. Right or Mrs. Right, you can take control of your happiness now by meeting with a dating therapist and continuing to read this helpful blog!

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How to Cope with Life Transitions in Your 20s

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How to Cope with Life Transitions in Your 20s

While many of us know about the popular term “mid-life crisis”, the term “quarter-life crisis” may not come to mind, but it is just as real as a phenomenon. In fact, it may even be a rite of passage to feel lost in your 20s. It is a high-stress time in your life where more things are changing than staying the same. Whether you are graduating college and getting your first ‘real-world’ job or getting married to the love of your life, this decade can be defined by its many life transitions.

Many people would agree that your 20s is a time of self-exploration. You are figuring out your likes and dislikes, who you are, where your professional interests lie, what you are looking for in a romantic partner, and so much more! All of this inner discovery can easily leave you feeling lost and confused. You may find yourself comparing your life to that of your friends, feeling like you are behind in life in comparison to your peers. If you find yourself feeling like this, please take comfort in the fact that you are not alone.

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3 Ways to Cope with a Friendship Breakup

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3 Ways to Cope with a Friendship Breakup

If you have ever lost a best friend, you know how painful the process can be. Sometimes, losing a best friend can hurt more than losing a significant other. The truth is that friendship breakups are not easy. Whether you simply drifted apart from your friend or had a falling out and experienced a damaging situation, you can properly heal with a friendship breakup.

You may be reminiscing or even beating up on yourself, thinking of what went wrong and what you could have done differently. It is a normal human reaction to think about these things, but the constant thoughts surrounding your friendship breakup can keep it fresh in your mind which only reminds you of how much you miss your friend.
A part of the healing process is to reflect on your friendship, and the memories you and your best friend created together. It can be difficult to move on after this life transition if you continuously “obsess” over your friendship and what could have been. When you learn how to stop overthinking and properly control your emotions, you can regain your focus and move forward in life with a new perspective.

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How Alix Earle Became The “It” Girl While Battling Anxiety and Self-Esteem Issues

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How Alix Earle Became The “It” Girl While Battling Anxiety and Self-Esteem Issues

Who is social media star Alix Earle? 

Alix Earle began her rise to fame through TikTok in 2022. Since then, her TikTok following has grown from 300,000 to 3.5 million people in 2023. Alix grew up in New Jersey, and attended a Catholic high school. Her family owns a construction and paving company which Alix interns at while she attends the University of Miami, studying business and marketing. On point with Alix’s social media skills, she helps with her family company’s newsletter on their website and runs their social media accounts. 

The Earle company prioritizes mental health within their company, showing support for veterans ever since the traumatic September 11th attacks. The family also operates a foundation that mainly focuses on helping people fighting opioid addiction. 

While Alix is speaking on important topics now with her newfound social media fame, it does not mean that she did not have personal struggles in her past. Alix’s father and mother had a public divorcein 2008 but still co parent their shared kids together. Her father remarried and had three children with his new wife. Alix has become a role model and older sister for her younger half siblings. From what she shares online, Alix is a part of a healthy blended family that spends a lot of time together.

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5 Ways to Build Self-Confidence

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5 Ways to Build Self-Confidence

Self-confidence can be a difficult aspect of ourselves to build up. Not everyone automatically has a high level of confidence. From generally suffering from low self-esteem to having an incident that lowered your trust in yourself, it can often be difficult to raise our confidence levels.

Self-confidence can generally be referred to as a feeling of trust you have in your abilities, judgment, and qualities. Having a good level of self-assurance is not only good for your health, but it also benefits your psychological welfare.