Parenting is a rewarding journey, but it is also a difficult one! From staying up all night with your newborn to rushing to get your kids to school on time, it can seem like your to-do list is never-ending. Amidst all the craziness, it can be easy to dismiss self-care, viewing it as something frivolous or a luxury.
Contrary to some people’s beliefs, self-care is not selfish. It does not have anything to do with being narcissistic or egocentric. Instead, it is deeply connected to health and wellness- both mental and physical. Once you begin to view self-care in the correct way, you will notice that self-care is anything but self-seeking.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, and life transitions. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and telehealth (video/phone) sessions to residents of New Jersey and New York.
So, what is self-care?
Many people view self-care and self-indulgence as the same thing. However, this viewpoint can have negative effects. For example, selfless people may turn away from self-care due to these inaccurate portrayals.
When you become a new parent, your focus quickly turns from yourself to your new baby. As your child grows from an infant to a toddler, you may find it difficult to return to prioritizing yourself and your mental health. While taking care of your child is clearly important, a lack in your self-care can lead to negative consequences.
Self-care habits help us stay healthy and allow us to be the best versions of ourselves. Self-care habits make you feel better over a long period of time. On the other hand, self-indulgent behaviors, like eating too much processed food or watching too much television, are short-term fixes. While they may feel good at the moment, they are not real solutions to your health issues.
What happens if I do not prioritize my health?
When you do not practice self-care, it is easy to feel stressed out and overwhelmed. In turn, this makes it more difficult to be a patient and compassionate parent. This can lead you to feel guilty and overburdened. When you are in this state, the last thing you probably want to do is practice self-care.
The truth is that taking care of all of your needs- socially, mentally, physically, and spiritually- will help you feel your best which will encourage you to be the best parent you can possibly be. Even when you feel like you do not have one second to yourself, it is important to carve time out to practice self-care and help yourself.
There are many different self-care techniques for parents. It is important to figure out what self-care strategy works best for you.
What are some effective ways to practice self-care and become the best parent I can be?
Meditate
A quick 5 or 10-minute meditation can leave you feeling relaxed and refreshed. If you have never meditated before, completing a guided meditation can be helpful. A guided meditation will lead you through a session, instructing you on how to breathe and how to steer your thoughts. From meditation apps to YouTube videos, there are many free resources that can help you.
Additionally, breathing exercises can be helpful in reducing your stress levels. Even if you are short on time, breathing exercises can help you calm down in just a few short minutes. There are also many parents who decide to have their children participate in meditation as well. Learning how to meditate is a persisting skill that will help both you and your child.
2. Write in a gratitude journal
Many studies have concluded that gratitude journals can improve your mood and even enhance your sleep length and quality. Just like meditation, writing in a gratitude journal only takes a few minutes and it is free.
When you wake up in the morning, write five things that you are grateful for. While physically writing down what you are thankful for is best, you can even just think of five things in the morning. You can be thankful for something as small as nice weather to something as big as your children. By simply reminding yourself of your blessings, you can feel better about your life.
3. Schedule time with friends and/or family
When you become a parent, it can be hard to maintain your social relationships. You may get into a routine where you work and spend all of your time with your partner and child. Scheduling time with friends and family can be understandably difficult, especially when the activities do not involve your children.
When you schedule something fun for yourself, it gives you something to look forward to. By engaging in social activity, you are actually enhancing your welfare.
4. Spend time outside
Spending time outside is good for your well-being. Whether it is taking a quick walk in the park or spending time in your garden, spending time in nature can help you feel relaxed.
If you do not have access to outdoor spaces, you can bring it to you! You can decorate your space with some indoor plants.
5. Listen to music
Whether you prefer classical music or modern hip hop, listening to music can help you take care of yourself. While you do not need to set aside a specific amount of time to listen to music, you can simply turn it on while taking a quick car ride or getting ready for the day. Although it is a simple thing to do, it can help you instantly boost your mood.
How can I teach my children self-care?
The best way to teach your children self-care is by taking care of yourself. In other words, you can teach your kids by example. In fact, taking care of your own mental health has a direct impact on your child’s mental and physical health.
Also, self-care teaches your children how to react to stressful situations. It can help your children develop empathy. You can even try to incorporate self-care tactics into your life every day that involve your children. For instance, you could encourage your child to take a homework break when you see that they are working extremely hard.
Overall, practicing self-care is anything but selfish. Creating a self-care plan is personal, and it should not feel like work. You should practice self-care in a way that feels natural, relaxing and fun to you. From juggling all the general responsibilities of being a parent to raising children during a global pandemic, you deserve a round of applause!
Victoria Scala
is the Social Media Manager and Intake Coordinator at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey. She is a graduate of the Honors College of Rutgers University-Newark, planning to study Clinical Mental Health Counseling at the graduate level. As a Social Media Manager at Anchor Therapy, Victoria is committed to producing content for and managing the office’s social media presence and blog.
