Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

parenting support

, , , ,

How to Parent Anxious Children in Hoboken, NJ

, , , ,
How to Parent Anxious Children in Hoboken, NJ

Parenting is a difficult job, and it can be made even more difficult when you are parenting a child or teen with mental health issues, like anxiety. Everyone has worried thoughts and feelings from time-to-time. Perhaps your child is leaving for summer camp and they are concerned about making friends and being away from home. Maybe they are presenting at their school’s science fair and feel nervous. 

However, when nerve-wracking thoughts cross the line into the territory of anxiety, it may be a sign that your child requires the help of an anxiety therapist. Anxiety counseling can serve as a form of relief for your child from anxiety, and provide them with the coping skills needed to successfully navigate life transitions.

, , , , ,

How to Support Your Child After They Come Out

, , , , ,
How to Support Your Child After They Come Out

If your child or teen comes out to you, how you react deeply matters. Raising children does not come with a manual or how-to guide. It is okay to not know how to react in every and all situations- you have to do what feels right for you and your family. 

If your child turns to you to reveal that they are LGBTQIA+ and are ready to come out, it is a great sign of trust that they can confide in you for something like this. This is a great sign showcasing their comfort level with you! But even so, you may have some questions or you may be wondering exactly how you should react. There are steps you can take to ensure that you are building a safe, inclusive home for your LGBTQIA+ child or teen.

, , , , , , , , , , ,

How To Support Your Teen Through High School and College Application Anxiety

, , , , , , , , , , ,
How To Support Your Teen Through High School and College Application Anxiety

The season of high school and college acceptances is upon us. By this time of the year, most students have an idea of where they will be heading in the fall whether it is a great magnet high school or a dream college a plane ride away. In a few weeks, students will sigh a final breath of relief when they commit to a school but, in the meantime, these last few moments of indecision can be painful and anxiety-ridden. Additionally, some teens and young adults may be grappling with the sting of rejection, forcing them to rethink their entire futures. 


The impact of your child’s stress during this entire process should not be overlooked. This process can also be grueling for you as a parent. You may be going through the ups and downs of the high school and college admissions process with your child as the acceptances, rejections, and waitlists roll in. When your teen is accepted, feelings of joy and excitement may overcome them. On the other hand, if your child is rejected, or even waitlisted, they may be completely and utterly devastated, especially if they are denied from their dream high school or college. This experience undeniably plays a role in your teen’s mental health.

, , , , , ,

What You Didn’t Know About Blending Families

, , , , , ,
What You Didn’t Know About Blending Families

Blended families can face many bumps in the road. Perhaps your family unit is dealing with a particularly challenging sibling rivalry or you are working to build a strong relationship with your step-children. Luckily, when you plan ahead and get the proper support you and your family needs, you can make sure that the transition goes more smoothly. Helpful family management strategies, including setting house rules and opening all lines of communication, are some ways to construct a warm and welcoming family. 

In some cases, it may feel like you are doing everything right but you and your family are still struggling. Please know that this is completely okay. Building your family is a major life transition and struggles are bound to arrive, but you deal with them can determine your success. You may feel like family counseling is the best next step for your family. If you need additional help navigating this major change in your life, check out our blog: “The Best Ways To Cope With Life Transitions.”

, , , , , , ,

How to Cope With Empty Nest Syndrome

, , , , , , ,
How to Cope With Empty Nest Syndrome

When you become a parent, it can quickly become the main component of your identity. You may lose yourself while taking care of your children while balancing work and other life responsibilities at the same time. Many parents often regard parenthood as one of the most challenging yet meaningful things they will ever do.

As the saying goes, the days are long but the years go by fast. One day you may be potty training and, then you blink, and you are getting ready to send your teen away to college. For at least 18 years, your life has revolved around your child. You may have been in charge of carpools, making sure that your child gets to all of their extracurricular activities in a timely manner, or having to guide them with homework or additional school projects. Then, when your teen leaves for college or to the workforce, your day-to-day life instantly changes.

If you are going through this, please know that it is normal to feel loss or uncertainty when your child leaves. This may be an only child or your youngest. Whatever the case, your feelings are valid. The main objective of parenting is to raise a healthy young adult who can live life independent of you. While your child is taking on a major life transition, moving out of their childhood home or going to college, you should take pride in the fact that you did the best you could and your child will be okay. Even if you acknowledge the hard work and effort you put into parenting, you may still be struggling. This may be what we commonly refer to as empty nest syndrome.

, , , , , ,

How Therapy Can Alleviate Mom Guilt

, , , , , ,
How Therapy Can Alleviate Mom Guilt

When you think of your children, do automatic thoughts of guilt come to mind? Maybe you blame yourself for your child getting their cold. Maybe you are filled with a sense of wrongdoing after having to work extra shifts to pay the bills.

You may have a little voice in your head that keeps telling you that you are not enough. No matter what you do or how much you sacrifice, you could always be doing more and doing things in a more efficient manner. When you feel this way, it is important to remember that you are not alone, and you do not need to feed into your mom guilt.

Overcoming mom guilt is a unique journey since it looks different to everyone. For example, you may find that unfollowing “supermoms” on Instagram does wonders for your mental health. On the other hand, you may take a different approach. For instance, you may need to reframe your thoughts on what it takes to be a good mom in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

, , , , , , ,

Parenting A Child With ADHD

, , , , , , ,
Parenting A Child With ADHD

Life with a child or teenager with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can be troubling and overwhelming at times. It is not traditional child rearing. Typical rules and household routines can seem impracticable in your situation, depending on your child’s symptoms. Therefore, different approaches may have to be embraced. It can be hard to cope with some of your child’s behaviors, but there are always ways to make improvements and, ultimately, make life for your family easier.

As a parent, you can help your child overcome daily struggles by guiding them on how to channel their energy into positive forces. This step alone will bring greater serenity to your family. The earlier and more consistently you address your child’s issues by seeking the help of a professional, the better off your child will be. If you continue to let the problems linger, it can unfortunately cause bigger problems down the road which will negatively impact your child’s development and delay their mental and behavioral success.

, , , ,

Building A Stronger Relationship With Your Partner Post-Baby

, , , ,
Building A Stronger Relationship With Your Partner Post-Baby

The transition from a couple to a family of three (or even more!) can be one of the biggest changes you will face in your relationship. It is exciting, invigorating, and generally glorious. It can also be tiresome, worrisome, and aggravating. The combination of these emotions can be threatening to the romantic relationship that gave you a child in the first place.

While raising a child can be a difficult experience at times, many couples find that they grow stronger after expanding their family, connecting in ways they have never experienced before. You may have a new level of respect for your partner after the birth of your child and share experiences together as a family that bring you that much closer together.

On the other hand, if you are experiencing relationship problems after the welcoming of your child, you are not alone. Many couples experience bumps in the road as they navigate their new world. It is best to deal with issues as they occur instead of burying them.

Maintaining a marriage after a baby takes time and energy. As a new parent, time and energy may be the last things you want to give. However, actively choosing to put the work into your relationship is beneficial in the long-run. Instead of growing resentful of each other, you and your partner can learn to enjoy spending each moment with one another.

, , , , , ,

Your Guide to Self-Care As A Parent

, , , , , ,
Your Guide to Self-Care As A Parent

Parenting is a rewarding journey, but it is also a difficult one! From staying up all night with your newborn to rushing to get your kids to school on time, it can seem like your to-do list is never-ending. Amidst all the craziness, it can be easy to dismiss self-care, viewing it as something frivolous or a luxury.

Contrary to some people’s beliefs, self-care is not selfish. It does not have anything to do with being narcissistic or egocentric. Instead, it is deeply connected to health and wellness- both mental and physical. Once you begin to view self-care in the correct way, you will notice that self-care is anything but self-seeking.