The holidays can be an extremely stressful time. Usually you have a lot more plans, you spend a lot more money than in your usual budget, you reflect on what you didn’t accomplish this year, you stress about the year ahead, and/or you find yourself feeling generally sad. All of these stressors are normal during the holiday season. As a mental health professional, I recommend that the holidays should be seen as your most important self-care time. Use this time to take off from your usual life stressors and relax. Below are some tips on how to do just that.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, and life transitions.
Let go of expectations
If you are someone who is excited about the holiday season then you probably have a lot of expectations about what the holiday should look like. Maybe you are looking forward to your holiday traditions, getting presents that you’ve been waiting all year for, or you expect to practice self-care and let go of all of your responsibilities.
These expectations are all great things to look forward to, but what happens if it goes south? What if your work calls you to do an emergency project during your time off? What if your kids get sick during the holidays? What if you don’t get the present you asked for? What if your flight gets cancelled? Even though this is the holiday season and you have your traditions or plans in place, we still can’t predict what is actually going to happen.
You can still look forward to these things happening, but you have to lower the expectations that your holiday season will be perfectly the same each year. Life never goes as planned- especially the same time each year. You have to acknowledge that things may not go perfectly according to plan and you have to be ready to adjust as things arise.
Go tech free
This is a really tough one to practice for some people. If you feel this is not realistic for you then you don’t have to go completely tech free. Maybe plan one holiday day to go tech free. Or you could plan to take a social media break. You could plan to not text other people who make you feel less than or frustrated.
Take this time to reflect how you feel when you’re on your phone, computer, or using other technology. Maybe there’s an App you want to take a break from or you may need to take a break from it all.
Another example is to take a true break away from work. This means putting an out-of-office email up and disconnecting your email from your phone so that you stop checking it. If you are able to do this, I highly recommend it as this is the best way to practice self-care while you are out of the office. You want to use this time to rejuvenate so that you can return to work relaxed and ready to work.
Limit Alcohol
This maybe another tough one for you. But usually on the holidays people tend to drink a lot more than they usually would. If you actually want to take your time off to relax and practice self-care then binge drinking should not be included.
What we forget about alcohol is that it is a depressant drug and it can definitely bring down our mood or cause negative consequences in our life.
Don’t over schedule
A lot of people are very busy around the holidays. Usually you have a lot more parties that you are invited to, you have shopping to do, and you have people that you need to see who you may only see once or twice a year. December is usually the busiest time of the year for people. It can all be fun plans, but if you don’t have a control over it and limit it somewhat then you may become very overwhelmed.
When you are asked to make another plan, try to look at your schedule and think if this is something that you can realistically fit onto your plate during this time of year. Or will it be something that causes you stress?
Ask for help
This is a big part of self-care in general. We usually feel like we are a burden to others if we are feeling anxious, stressed, or depressed. But ultimately, it would be helpful for you to ask others for help. Usually they are happy to help out. Lean on your support system during this time if needed.
An example could be that you are overwhelmed by all of the things you have to prepare to host a holiday party. Why not delegate a few things out? You can turn the party into a potluck or you can ask a family member to go out and do some of the shopping. There are always ways you can think of to get help from others. This will help stop you from becoming too overwhelmed by taking some things off your plate.
Don’t hide mental health issues
The holidays can be a joyous time, but it also can be a depressing time. If you have seasonal depression then you are most likely already feeling more depressed this time of year.
If someone close to you passed away then the holidays usually brings up traditions and memories that you had with that person. Missing them can make you feel more sad as well.
If something traumatic happened to you around the holidays then walking around and seeing decorations, hearing Christmas songs, and the different reminders of the time of year can definitely trigger overwhelm and anxiety.
Make sure you notice and acknowledge your own mental health issues. And then get help. See your therapist before and after the holidays to help you cope. Talk to someone you’re close with about how they could help you through this rough time. It is okay to feel emotional during this time of year.
Get some rest
This is probably an obvious form of self-care that you could think of yourself. But if you over schedule yourself during the holiday season then you must also schedule in time to rest and relax.
Spend time with someone you love
This could be your family, friends, pets, etc. The holidays should be a time that you connect with people in your life that you may not usually talk to or see. It is great to spend the holidays with people who you enjoy to be around.
Stick to routine
This is tricky as we usually go on vacation during the holidays and our routine goes out the window. But if you actually can stick to some parts of your routine, this will help you greatly with your self-care.
Some examples are to continue to exercise 3 days a week, wake up a similar time each day, get plenty of sleep, spend time doing your nightly routine before bed, and try to eat mostly as healthy as you would normally. These things will keep you on track to feeling your best self throughout the holiday season.
Laugh!
Spend the holiday season having fun! Try to get in as much laughter as you can. Watch a comedy show, spend time with your funniest friends and family, or spend time doing something you greatly enjoy.
No matter what happens during the holiday season, try to relax and enjoy yourself!
If you find that the holiday season is a really tough time for you and that you are entering the new year in the wrong mindset then it maybe helpful to reach out to a mental health therapist to help get you feeling on track.
Courtney Glashow, LCSW
is a licensed psychotherapist practicing in Hoboken, New Jersey. She specializes in helping teens and adults with anxiety, depression, and life transitions through counseling. Courtney can help NY or NJ residents through telehealth (video/phone) therapy sessions as well.
