Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

anxiety therapy

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How To Not Cancel Plans When You Are Feeling Anxious

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How To Not Cancel Plans When You Are Feeling Anxious

At one point or another, we have all been there. Research shows that 19.1% of United States adults have had an anxiety disorder in the past year. You made plans that sounded fun and exciting but, now, the nerves are starting to set in. Maybe it is a date with a potential love interest. Perhaps it is attending a party where you do not know many people. Suddenly, the idea of going out and staying true to your commitment feels overwhelming. Whether you are just generally looking to avoid discomfort or you have a fear of social situations, anxiety can make you feel like pressing send on the “Sorry I can’t make it tonight” text message and hiding under your blanket. 


However, consider this- what if you did not let anxiety dictate your life? If you struggle with wanting to cancel plans last minute due to anxiety, rest assured that there are practical tips available to help you navigate your anxious emotions and stay committed to your plans without feeling overwhelmed. From mindset shifts to healthy coping skills, you can show up for yourself and other people.

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Why Do I Get Anxiety During Grocery Shopping?

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Why Do I Get Anxiety During Grocery Shopping?

While it may sound niche, many people experience anxiety during trips to the grocery store. It is an increasingly common, yet overlooked issue. From making what feels like making endless decisions to navigating crowded supermarkets, grocery store anxiety has many causes. 

Ongoing grocery store anxiety can impede on your ability to enjoy grocery shopping or do it effectively. Your weekly trip to the supermarket for yourself and/or your family may become something you dread doing. Many people feel overwhelmed when it is time to do their restock, but with some calming techniques and the support of an anxiety therapist at Anchor Therapy, grocery shopping can become an enjoyable experience once again!

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Do I Have Anxiety? Take the Quiz and Learn 5 Instant Calming Tips

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Do I Have Anxiety? Take the Quiz and Learn 5 Instant Calming Tips

Anxiety is a normal human emotion despite what you may think about it. When you are not sure about what is going to happen over the next few minutes, days, or months, you may react to uncertainty with anxiety. 

Simply put, anxiety is a worry over a potential threat in your future. You may lie awake late at night wondering if your date is going to text you back. Pondering an uncomfortable conversation with a loved one may leave your stomach in knots days before the discussion even takes place. Before getting on a plane to travel for vacation, your heart may begin to race. If you struggle with plane anxiety, check out our blog “8 Tips To Overcome Flight Anxiety.”

It is our human nature to want to get rid of these uncomfortable feelings and sensations as soon as possible; however, pushing them away may worsen your anxiety-related symptoms. Worrying about getting rid of your anxiety tells your nervous system that there is another thing to be anxious about, creating a loop where your anxiety is just made worse. Long-lasting anxiety that interferes with your day-to-day life may signal an anxiety disorder which requires the support of an anxiety therapist. 

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How to Parent Anxious Children in Hoboken, NJ

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How to Parent Anxious Children in Hoboken, NJ

Parenting is a difficult job, and it can be made even more difficult when you are parenting a child or teen with mental health issues, like anxiety. Everyone has worried thoughts and feelings from time-to-time. Perhaps your child is leaving for summer camp and they are concerned about making friends and being away from home. Maybe they are presenting at their school’s science fair and feel nervous. 

However, when nerve-wracking thoughts cross the line into the territory of anxiety, it may be a sign that your child requires the help of an anxiety therapist. Anxiety counseling can serve as a form of relief for your child from anxiety, and provide them with the coping skills needed to successfully navigate life transitions.

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5 Breathwork Techniques To Decrease Anxiety

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5 Breathwork Techniques To Decrease Anxiety

Breath patterns have a direct affect on one’s anxiety levels. Feeling anxious is overwhelming. Any sign of anxiety, whether cognitive or emotional, is uncomfortable, but physical anxiety signs can feel especially frightening, specifically shortness of breath. In fact, many people mistake an anxiety attack for a heart attack because of the severe physical symptoms.

When you feel anxiety building up inside of you, there are techniques out there to bring you back to a calm, balanced base level. One of these calming techniques is breathwork. Breathing exercises can be a long-term strategy for managing your anxiety successfully.

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5 Ways to Nurture Your Mind-Body Connection

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5 Ways to Nurture Your Mind-Body Connection

Traditionally, emotional experiences have been largely viewed as completely separate from one’s physical sensations. Clearly, there are some ailments that are entirely physical in nature, such as a broken bone. But, there are some medical concerns that can be linked to stress, anxiety, and additional mental health issues.

The mind-body connection is a powerful force. In a perfect world, the mind and body would always be allies who work together in harmony, but the reality of the situation may not be as clear or perfect. In actuality, the mind and body can sometimes work against each other and the relationship between the two can turn into a confusing one.

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6 Ways to Understand and Support a Parent With Mental Illness

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6 Ways to Understand and Support a Parent With Mental Illness

Mental Illness is something that is still extremely stigmatized and misunderstood. This could be because people aren’t educated and aware of how certain mental disorders function. It’s understandable though, in the sense that it’s hard to understand mental illness when we may not experience it ourselves. Even though you may not be able to empathize with certain mental illnesses and disorders, you can still try your best to understand them. Awareness is extremely important! 

Parents can already be hard to understand from the point of view of a child - even if you’re a teen or an adult. On top of that, parental mental illness can be incredibly challenging to navigate. Mental illness sometimes can get in the way of the proper parenting that a child needs - even if unintentionally. Connecting with a parent and trying to understand the hows and whys of their behavior can really make the home environment more comfortable.

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Why Do We Cancel Plans When We’re Anxious?

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Why Do We Cancel Plans When We’re Anxious?

We have all been there before- your anxiety creeps up, makes you rethink why you said “yes” to the plans in the first place, and then, eventually, you start brainstorming reasons as to why you are canceling. 

It can be uncomfortable to say “no”, especially if you struggle with pleasing people. If you think this may be something you struggle with, check out our blog “How To Know If You’re A People-Pleaser and The Psychology Behind It.” You may feel like you are letting someone down when you say “no” or you may feel like you are not good enough for the task at hand. Sometimes, your anxiety can get in the way and make it impossible for you to follow through on commitments.

In its most basic form, having plans can give you something fun to look forward to on your calendar and can fulfill your basic need for human connection. But, at its worst, it can leave you feeling like you are obligated to do something, dreaming about crossing out this event on your calendar in a bold black Sharpie.

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How To Support Your Teen Through High School and College Application Anxiety

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How To Support Your Teen Through High School and College Application Anxiety

The season of high school and college acceptances is upon us. By this time of the year, most students have an idea of where they will be heading in the fall whether it is a great magnet high school or a dream college a plane ride away. In a few weeks, students will sigh a final breath of relief when they commit to a school but, in the meantime, these last few moments of indecision can be painful and anxiety-ridden. Additionally, some teens and young adults may be grappling with the sting of rejection, forcing them to rethink their entire futures. 


The impact of your child’s stress during this entire process should not be overlooked. This process can also be grueling for you as a parent. You may be going through the ups and downs of the high school and college admissions process with your child as the acceptances, rejections, and waitlists roll in. When your teen is accepted, feelings of joy and excitement may overcome them. On the other hand, if your child is rejected, or even waitlisted, they may be completely and utterly devastated, especially if they are denied from their dream high school or college. This experience undeniably plays a role in your teen’s mental health.

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Feeling Stressed and Anxious in College? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Can Help

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Feeling Stressed and Anxious in College? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Can Help

The pressures that college students face can be extremely overwhelming. As a college student, you may be balancing many aspects of life all at once. Attempting to balance a healthy social life while putting copious amounts of time and effort into good grades can get tricky. Don't forget the financial challenges coupled with living independently and trying to maintain emotional and physical health. Among all of these hardships, students reportedly face the most anxiety when it comes to academics. 

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How Alix Earle Became The “It” Girl While Battling Anxiety and Self-Esteem Issues

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How Alix Earle Became The “It” Girl While Battling Anxiety and Self-Esteem Issues

Who is social media star Alix Earle? 

Alix Earle began her rise to fame through TikTok in 2022. Since then, her TikTok following has grown from 300,000 to 3.5 million people in 2023. Alix grew up in New Jersey, and attended a Catholic high school. Her family owns a construction and paving company which Alix interns at while she attends the University of Miami, studying business and marketing. On point with Alix’s social media skills, she helps with her family company’s newsletter on their website and runs their social media accounts. 

The Earle company prioritizes mental health within their company, showing support for veterans ever since the traumatic September 11th attacks. The family also operates a foundation that mainly focuses on helping people fighting opioid addiction. 

While Alix is speaking on important topics now with her newfound social media fame, it does not mean that she did not have personal struggles in her past. Alix’s father and mother had a public divorcein 2008 but still co parent their shared kids together. Her father remarried and had three children with his new wife. Alix has become a role model and older sister for her younger half siblings. From what she shares online, Alix is a part of a healthy blended family that spends a lot of time together.

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How To Mentally Prepare For Going Back To College

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How To Mentally Prepare For Going Back To College

As summer comes to a close, it can be hard to dodge those “back-to-school” commercials and emails flooding our inboxes of purchasing school supplies. You get a daily reminder that your few months of a break is quickly coming to an end. You may have purchased your college textbooks or a new fall wardrobe, but are you really ready to go back? How do you mentally prepare yourself for a new semester or, perhaps, your first time stepping foot on campus as a freshman?

Even though you are registered for classes and have your bag packed with books, pencils, and other supplies, your preparation does not end there. You may feel stressed or anxious like your few months of freedom is coming to an end. Stress, deadlines, homework, and exams will quickly fill up your schedule.

While college can be a stressful experience at times, it can be equally as exciting. The college experience is unique. For some people, it is often regarded as the “best years of their life.” While looking forward to your next year at college, try to view it with as much excitement as you do with nervous anticipation.

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8 Tips To Overcome Flight Anxiety

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8 Tips To Overcome Flight Anxiety

Having the opportunity to fly and visit new places is an amazing thing! After all, travel is one of the most important things a person can do. It is more than simply visiting sites and taking photos, it brings about new ideas and viewpoints. Travel can even be viewed as an investment in yourself. It helps you get out of your comfort zone, experience new cultures, relax, and create some great memories. Unfortunately, the journey of getting to your destination may not be as peaceful.

The fear of flying affects millions of Americans each year. In fact, it has been estimated that flight anxiety is the second biggest fear in the United States. It can prevent you from taking the trip you have always dreamed of or cause you to miss out on quality time with your family. Being anxious about flying is also known as aerophobia. Often, your fear of flying may indicate that you have a deeper fear of other things. For instance, you may fear being in an enclosed space or having something disastrous happen while you are in the air.

Overcoming your fear of flying is possible, but it will take a lot of courage and practice.

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Anxiety: Why It Can Be Different for Men

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Anxiety: Why It Can Be Different for Men

We are living in the age of anxiety. People are stressed in every sphere of their lives and there are new challenges everyday related to our jobs and our relationships with friends and family.

Anxiety actually has a purpose. Its natural function is to alert us to potential threats that allows us to evaluate and respond to them in appropriate ways. Anxiety can help us perform better and can stimulate creativity and action. Anxiety can actually be rewarding: putting oneself in a situation that may be terrifying initially, but powering through often comes with great rewards.

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Reflecting on Mental Health during the COVID-19 Pandemic

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Reflecting on Mental Health during the COVID-19 Pandemic

As the COVID-19 pandemic is slowly coming to a halt, people are finally resuming their pre-pandemic activities and busy schedules. While this requires an adjustment from the adopted “new” normal, many businesses are starting to boom again, and families and friends are being reunited. As society comes together to collectively battle the virus with mass vaccinations, an opportunity presents itself to reflect on how your mental health was impacted during quarantine and mandated social distancing. It is essential to understand personal reactions to the pandemic to conform to previous routines and re-enter society successfully.

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The Anxiety and Uncertainty of Planning a Wedding during a Pandemic

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The Anxiety and Uncertainty of Planning a Wedding during a Pandemic

The COVID-19 pandemic has left many Brides with feelings of uncertainty. If you are planning a wedding during this pandemic, those moments of uncertainty are likely magnified with feelings of anxiety, fear, and frustration. So many Brides and couples planning weddings right now are struggling to manage the planning process. As a psychotherapist, I can give you some tools that can be used to help you cope with the stress of planning.

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Top Reasons Depression Is Increasing For Athletes During COVID-19

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Top Reasons Depression Is Increasing For Athletes During COVID-19

The pandemic has been a difficult time for everyone, but one group of people who are experiencing increased symptoms of depression are athletes. Since March 2020, most sports were completely cancelled. Now that the fall is starting up with a new sports season, some sports are able to return. But a lot of sports remain cancelled or postponed. Athletes find a lot of purpose, motivation, and validation from competing in their sport. Due to COVID-19, this may be the first time in many years that an athlete does not have their sport to train for and feels empty.

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How To Reclaim Your Work-Life Balance During COVID-19 [Part 2]

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How To Reclaim Your Work-Life Balance During COVID-19 [Part 2]

A lot of people are having difficulty finding a balance between work life and personal life when operating both from the same space. As working from home continues for most due to COVID-19, this ever-looming concern becomes more and more apparent. While most people did not expect to work from home for this long, it is likely to continue for a longer period of time. As a mental health professional, I list some tips that i tell my clients which can also help you make it through this difficult time.

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Anchor Therapy Is Expanding Counseling Services in Hoboken, NJ!

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Anchor Therapy Is Expanding Counseling Services in Hoboken, NJ!

At Anchor Therapy, located in Hoboken, NJ, we are currently accepting new clients and are now providing telehealth (video & phone) sessions for residents of New Jersey and New York.