Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

cbt

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How To Not Cancel Plans When You Are Feeling Anxious

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How To Not Cancel Plans When You Are Feeling Anxious

At one point or another, we have all been there. Research shows that 19.1% of United States adults have had an anxiety disorder in the past year. You made plans that sounded fun and exciting but, now, the nerves are starting to set in. Maybe it is a date with a potential love interest. Perhaps it is attending a party where you do not know many people. Suddenly, the idea of going out and staying true to your commitment feels overwhelming. Whether you are just generally looking to avoid discomfort or you have a fear of social situations, anxiety can make you feel like pressing send on the “Sorry I can’t make it tonight” text message and hiding under your blanket. 


However, consider this- what if you did not let anxiety dictate your life? If you struggle with wanting to cancel plans last minute due to anxiety, rest assured that there are practical tips available to help you navigate your anxious emotions and stay committed to your plans without feeling overwhelmed. From mindset shifts to healthy coping skills, you can show up for yourself and other people.

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How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

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How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, simply referred to as PCOS, is a hormonal disorder that impacts women who are of reproductive age. While the cause of PCOS is not well known, we do know that it causes enlarged ovaries with small cysts on the outer edges. Health experts believe a combination of genetic and environmental factors are at play with this disorder. 

The effects of PCOS are still being studied, but we know that those with the disorder can experience a wide range of mental health concerns, from anxiety and depression to eating disorders and low self-esteem. Continue reading this blog to figure out how PCOS may be impacting you mentally and emotionally, and what you can do to cope.

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What conditions may be treated with CBT therapy near me?

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What conditions may be treated with CBT therapy near me?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, often simply referred to as CBT, is a type of structured talk therapy that is structured and goal-oriented. Mental health professionals, from psychologists to psychotherapists and counselors, use CBT to treat or manage a range of mental health conditions and/or emotional concerns. 


If you are someone who is starting off in your journey of trying to find a therapist near you, you likely have come across CBT therapy. For support in this journey, read “How to Find the Best Therapist Near Me.” CBT is often referred to as the gold standard of mental health counseling as it is one of the most common and best-studied forms of mental health therapy.

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4 Ways To Build A Habit That Sticks

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4 Ways To Build A Habit That Sticks

The process of building a habit, also referred to as habit formation, is a journey where our behaviors become automatic. Habits can be formed consciously or unconsciously. For example, think of when you first wake up in the morning and you go to reach for your phone- this is likely an unconscious habit. On the other hand, your habit of going for a walk every day is a conscious choice you make. 

Habits can be created or erased to suit your needs and, ultimately, to help you reach your goals. Habits play an extremely important role in your health and well-being. Staying consistent and committed will help you form new habits regardless of how long the journey itself might take you!

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Navigating Train and Subway Anxiety: A Commuter’s Guide from Hoboken and Jersey City to New York City

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Navigating Train and Subway Anxiety: A Commuter’s Guide from Hoboken and Jersey City to New York City

Fear of crime on public transportation is a big concern in a lot of cities throughout the United States and, as Hoboken and Jersey City commuters understand, New York City is no exception to this phenomenon. With constant news coverage highlighting the fear-inducing stories of physical violence occurring in the city, anxiety and stress levels naturally spike.

When you are on-edge, it may feel like every little thing is enhancing your anxiety from the screech of the train on the tracks to the sea of faces you see passing you by. There are many intricacies of train and subway anxiety that a Hoboken or Jersey City commuter can experience on their journey into New York City. Continue reading this blog to learn about the contributing factors of public transportation anxiety and how to apply practical strategies to navigate your anxiety concerns with strength!

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How Childhood Trauma Can Cause Anxiety, Depression, & PTSD

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How Childhood Trauma Can Cause Anxiety, Depression, & PTSD

Childhood trauma can have a long lasting impact on people. If you suffer from childhood trauma, you may be more at risk for developing anxiety, depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and other mental disorders. By unpacking your trauma with a trauma therapist or anxiety counselor, you'll be able to process those memories and emotions, and feel like your best self again!

What Is Childhood Trauma?

Childhood trauma is the experience of an event by a child or teen that is emotionally painful or distressful, which often results in lasting mental and physical effects. Childhood trauma can occur when a child witnesses or experiences overwhelming negative events in childhood. Children are too young to process events they experienced which causes them to repress, or bury, the memory.

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Feeling Stressed and Anxious in College? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Can Help

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Feeling Stressed and Anxious in College? Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Can Help

The pressures that college students face can be extremely overwhelming. As a college student, you may be balancing many aspects of life all at once. Attempting to balance a healthy social life while putting copious amounts of time and effort into good grades can get tricky. Don't forget the financial challenges coupled with living independently and trying to maintain emotional and physical health. Among all of these hardships, students reportedly face the most anxiety when it comes to academics. 

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Negative Self-Talk

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Negative Self-Talk

Do you view the glass as half-empty or half-full? This age-old question can reveal a lot about your lookout on life and even your attitude about yourself. When you think positively, you can better manage your stress and improve your overall health. Practicing negative self-talk takes patience and requires persistence but it can be done, specifically with the help of a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) therapist. 

If you are looking to stop negative thinking right in its tracks, it is completely possible with CBT therapy! CBT works to uncover your unhealthy patterns of thought while, at the same time, examining how these thoughts may be causing self-destructive beliefs and behaviors.

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Everything You Need to Know About CBT for PTSD

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Everything You Need to Know About CBT for PTSD

Most people know about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as shell shock. You may be experiencing debilitating nightmares or find yourself being over-reactive. PTSD is commonly attributed to the military community. While PTSD in veterans is a common occurrence, you do not have to be in the service to have PTSD.

PTSD symptoms can impact anyone. PTSD is a type of anxiety disorder that occurs after a deeply scary or intimidating event. You do not even have to be directly involved in the event for you to experience PTSD. That is to say, the pure shock of the event can be so large that you have a difficult time living a normal life.

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How to Manage OCD Intrusive Thoughts with CBT

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How to Manage OCD Intrusive Thoughts with CBT

Do you struggle with intrusive thoughts? Do they seemingly pop into your head from thin air? You might be grabbing a coffee or commuting to work when, all of a sudden, an unwanted thought pops into your head. It can be a bizarre image or a crazy thought. You are left questioning that thought or perhaps you think about it obsessively and start to become anxious.

The thought could be harmless, like doing something embarrassing in a social setting, or it could be more harmful, such as a tragedy happening to your family members or other loved ones who you would never want to harm. If you struggle with this, please take comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

If you struggle with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), you can experience intrusive thoughts regularly and you may be looking for a way to stop them in their tracks. These thoughts are automatic which may make you feel like you do not have control over them. This only worsens your stress levels and may even lead you to cope in unhealthy ways.

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7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

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7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

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8 Tips To Overcome Flight Anxiety

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8 Tips To Overcome Flight Anxiety

Having the opportunity to fly and visit new places is an amazing thing! After all, travel is one of the most important things a person can do. It is more than simply visiting sites and taking photos, it brings about new ideas and viewpoints. Travel can even be viewed as an investment in yourself. It helps you get out of your comfort zone, experience new cultures, relax, and create some great memories. Unfortunately, the journey of getting to your destination may not be as peaceful.

The fear of flying affects millions of Americans each year. In fact, it has been estimated that flight anxiety is the second biggest fear in the United States. It can prevent you from taking the trip you have always dreamed of or cause you to miss out on quality time with your family. Being anxious about flying is also known as aerophobia. Often, your fear of flying may indicate that you have a deeper fear of other things. For instance, you may fear being in an enclosed space or having something disastrous happen while you are in the air.

Overcoming your fear of flying is possible, but it will take a lot of courage and practice.

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How Can CBT Help College Students Struggling with Anxiety?

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How Can CBT Help College Students Struggling with Anxiety?

While college can be a great time for growth, social exploration, and fun, it can also be a time filled with stress. Especially during this time of the year, final exams are in full swing and you may feel like you have a lot on your plate. Whether you are just dealing with the stress of your schoolwork or you are also trying to balance work and other responsibilities, college can easily breed feelings of anxiety.

In addition to your responsibilities, many people struggle with the changes that college can bring about. You are no longer surrounded by your family and friends. Your everyday routine has changed in a big way.

Some common causes of anxiety in college students include:

  • Academic pressure

  • Moving away from home

  • New social situations

  • Financial stressors

Many college students report having anxiety so you are not alone! By learning about your anxiety and working with a therapist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, also known as CBT, you can make positive changes in your life and learn how to manage your anxiety!

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How CBT Can Help With Your Insomnia

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How CBT Can Help With Your Insomnia

Living with insomnia can be extremely challenging. If you are someone who struggles with insomnia, you may feel like it is an odd or isolating health issue. There are many misconceptions about insomnia, including what triggers insomnia and various treatment methods. Due to these common misunderstandings, it can be difficult to get effective help from family and friends. Therefore, working with a professional is often necessary.

Despite potentially feeling isolated, please try to remember that insomnia impacts many people. You are not alone in your struggles. Insomnia is a common disorder, and there are several effective treatment plans available to you. Often, it is necessary to get professional treatment to ensure that you are getting enough sleep each night to remain healthy and continue to be the best version of yourself.

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How To Reclaim Your Work-Life Balance During COVID-19 [Part 2]

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How To Reclaim Your Work-Life Balance During COVID-19 [Part 2]

A lot of people are having difficulty finding a balance between work life and personal life when operating both from the same space. As working from home continues for most due to COVID-19, this ever-looming concern becomes more and more apparent. While most people did not expect to work from home for this long, it is likely to continue for a longer period of time. As a mental health professional, I list some tips that i tell my clients which can also help you make it through this difficult time.

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How To Reclaim Your Work-Life Balance During COVID-19

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How To Reclaim Your Work-Life Balance During COVID-19

Over the last few months I have been hearing one issue time and time again for many, if not all, of my clients attending therapy who are working from home: the difficulty between finding a balance between work life and personal life when operating both from the same space. As we approach the 6th month of working from home due to COVID-19, this ever-looming concern becomes more and more apparent. While most did not anticipate working from home for this long, it seems as if this is a likely reality for many moving forward. (Google just announced their workers would be working from home until summer 2021).

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The Top Causes of Depression

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The Top Causes of Depression

Depression can impact anyone for a multitude of reasons. There is a lot of research into the cause of depression and there is not just one clear answer. There could be multiple reasons as to why you feel depressive symptoms. These causes can be broken down into two main categories that include biological factors and environmental factors. It is possible that you have one or both of these factors impacting your mood. Below I will discuss what falls under these two categories in detail.

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How To Support Your LGBTQ+ Teen

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How To Support Your LGBTQ+ Teen

Your pre-teen and teenage years are filled with time of exploring the world and how you fit in it. Identity becomes a huge topic of exploration for most teens. Your teen may be contemplating anything from as simple as their future career goals up to their gender identity or sexual orientation. This is typically a time that you may find your teen to come out to you by identifying as being a part of the LGBTQ+ community. As a parent, no matter how accepting you are, this may come as a surprise to you and it may take some time to process. Once you have processed this new information, you can then take some extra steps to support your teen as they navigate their new identity and grow into an adult.

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Tips and Tools to Improve Communication with your Partner through COVID-19

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Tips and Tools to Improve Communication with your Partner through COVID-19

When it comes to improving communication in a relationship, it takes more than just talking more to your partner. It is the way you speak, what you say, what they hear, and much more. As previously discussed, healthy and meaningful communication is built in many ways. One of the biggest issues that couples come across when communicating is oversimplifying it to the belief that one person talks and the other listens. Sure, in some way this is true, but communicating is an active skill and both the speaker and person listening need to be engaged and attuned.