A trauma bond occurs between a person and someone who mistreats them. This relationship often involves a strong emotional connection. The person who is being hurt may feel confused or even scared of their abuser, but they may also be dependent on them which makes it hard to leave the relationship. This is a trauma-bonded relationship.
A trauma bond involves cycles of negative reinforcement coupled with occasional happenings of positive reinforcement. The bouts of positive reinforcement are what makes it so difficult for people to leave an abusive relationship.
Other people may use the term ‘trauma bonding’ to refer to a different idea- a bond they form with someone by revealing a personal trauma, such as a sexual assault. For the sake of this blog, we will primarily discuss trauma bonding in the context of an unhealthy or toxic relationship.