Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

relationship counseling nyc

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The Psychological Truth About Birth Order

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The Psychological Truth About Birth Order

Birth order has long been a topic of fascination with many believing that where you fall in your family can shape who you become. From the responsible firstborn to the free-spirited youngest, the roles siblings play within their families may impact their personality, behavior, and even career choices. While the science behind birth order theory has evolved, the idea that your position in the family hierarchy influences your development remains compelling to many psychotherapists and parents alike!


Understanding the psychological truth about birth order can provide valuable insight into why we act the way we do, not just as children, but as adults navigating relationships, work, and personal growth. While no two families are alike and the theory is far from being set in stone, there are clear patterns that suggest birth order might shape our core traits. This blog will delve into the fascinating ways our birth position might shape our outlook on life and why those dynamics are still worth considering in modern times.

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How to Create A Daily Routine

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How to Create A Daily Routine

Building a routine is one of the most effective ways to bring structure and consistency into your daily life. Whether you are looking to boost productivity, enhance mental health, or simply make your days more manageable, creating a solid routine can set you up for success. The key to establishing a routine is making it both realistic and adaptable, so it becomes a sustainable part of your daily life rather than something that feels like a chore to do.


Starting small and focusing on consistency is crucial when building a routine. It is not about overloading yourself with tasks from the get-go, but rather about finding a rhythm that works for you. You can gradually add habits to your routine and adjust as you go. Check out our blog “4 Ways to Build a Habit That Sticks.” This way, you can create a routine that not only supports your goals but also promotes a sense of balance and well-being. In this blog, we will explore the steps to help you build a routine that sticks and aligns with your personal lifestyle.

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Is Love Really Blind? Using Insights from Netflix’s Love Is Blind

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Is Love Really Blind? Using Insights from Netflix’s Love Is Blind

Netflix’s hit show Love Is Blind premiered its eighth season on Friday, February 14, 2025. The phrase “love is blind” has been a cultural notion for quite some time. The saying suggests that when people fall in love, their partner’s physical appearance does not matter. In other words, the flaws and imperfections of their significant other seem to disappear. Netflix’s Love Is Blind takes this concept to an extreme by forcing contestants to form deep emotional connections with one another without ever seeing the other person’s physical appearance until the pair are already in a committed relationship. This is a bold social experiment that challenges the traditional idea of romantic attraction. The show raises the very important question of can love blossom without physical attraction at play? Or does love require more than just emotional chemistry to survive in the real world?


When a viewer dives into the dynamics of Love Is Blind, one can explore whether or not love can thrive without the physical element at play. The show sometimes suggests that emotional connections need physical attraction to really thrive. Through watching the show’s participants, you can get a glimpse into the complexities of human relationships where emotional bonds may form quickly, but tested when physical reality enters the picture. In this blog, we’ll break down the concept of the show to see whether or not love is truly blind, or couples need more than just emotional connection to last.

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Why do I feel addicted to love?

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Why do I feel addicted to love?

Love is a powerful emotion. It can sweep you off of your feet, feel euphoric, and be a source of immense happiness. However, when love starts to feel like an obsession or dependency, it may hint that there is a deeper issue going on. The sense of being “addicted” to love often comes from your brain’s response to the emotional highs of being in a romantic connection with someone. When you fall in love, your brain releases a host of feel-good chemicals, such as dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. These chemicals can create a sense of pleasure and attachment. Over time, you may become dependent on these neurochemical ‘boosts’. In other words, your association of love to intense feelings of validation and joy makes you crave love even more.


There is a point in time where a longing for love can become too intense and turn into emotional dependency. Some signs of this may be constantly seeking external validation  or falling into unhealthy cycles of emotional highs and lows with someone, even if it is a toxic connection. For more information on this, check out our blog “How To Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship.” The desire to feel loved, cherished, or wanted is at the core of the human experience, but it may cloud your sense of self-worth over time. Not being in a romantic relationship should not make you feel incomplete. Understanding why love feels like an addiction and your relationship to love is the first step toward breaking free from unhealthy patterns and learning how to nurture healthier, more balanced relationships.

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What do maladaptive daydreams look like?

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What do maladaptive daydreams look like?

Maladaptive daydreaming refers to a pattern of extensive, vivid daydreaming that interferes with daily life. Maladaptive daydreaming often becomes a form of escapism. Unlike normal daydreaming, which may occur occasionally and does not really disrupt functioning, maladaptive daydreaming can become all-consuming. 

People experiencing maladaptive daydreaming may spend hours each day lost in elaborate fantasies, often centered around idealized scenarios or intricate narratives that they mentally replay. These daydreams can be triggered by external events, emotions, or boredom, and they often involve highly detailed storylines with characters, settings, and even specific events. As these fantasies grow, they can take on a life of their own, making it difficult for individuals to focus on real-world tasks or engage meaningfully with other people to foster relationships.

While daydreaming itself is not inherently harmful, maladaptive daydreaming can have significant negative consequences. People who struggle with this type of daydreaming may experience difficulty concentrating on work or school, neglect relationships, or feel disconnected from their surroundings. These daydreams often create a sense of temporary relief from life's stresses, but they can ultimately cause more issues in the long-run, preventing individuals from addressing the real challenges they face. As the fantasies become more compelling and immersive, the boundary between fantasy and reality can blur which can lead to feelings of isolation, frustration, and even depression. For more information, check out our blog “3 Benefits of Working with a Depression Therapist.”

Understanding maladaptive daydreaming is crucial in order to address it effectively and find healthier ways to cope with stress and emotions.

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How Do I Beat Menopause Depression?

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How Do I Beat Menopause Depression?

Menopause can bring on a range of emotional shifts and, for many women, depression becomes a significant challenge during this time period. Hormonal fluctuations, particularly a drop in estrogen and progesterone, can trigger mood swings, irritability, and even feelings of sadness or anxiety. Menopause also triggers physical symptoms, like hot flashes, sleep disturbances, and fatigue. With the combination of these symptoms, it is no surprise that many women feel overwhelmed by this life change. The emotional toll of this phase can also be compounded by life transitions such as aging, empty-nesting, or shifts in identity, making it hard to stay positive or maintain your usual sense of self.


But despite the emotional hurdles menopause brings, it is possible to manage and even overcome depression during this time! A holistic approach, including regular exercise, a balanced diet, mindfulness practices, and working with a therapist for women’s issues at Anchor Therapy, can provide significant relief. It is essential to acknowledge what you are going through and seek out the support you need, whether from medical professionals, loved ones, or support groups. With the right tools and mindset, you can navigate menopause with greater ease and find a renewed sense of energy!

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Do Long-Distance Relationships Work?

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Do Long-Distance Relationships Work?

Long-distance relationships can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, they offer space for individual growth, and on the other, they come with unique emotional challenges that can take a toll on mental health. Research shows that 60% of long-distance relationships are considered successful in the long run. 


With that being said, couples who are physically separated often face feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and uncertainty. If your communication is not consistent or healthy, these emotions can be exacerbated. So, how can long-distance couples navigate these hurdles? Is it truly possible for long-distance relationships to thrive? In this blog post, we will dive into the different aspects of long-distance relationships, including what can make them work and what can cause them to fail.


Trust, clear communication, and a shared vision for the future are all essential components of a healthy, successful long-distance relationship. As with any relationship, there needs to be a healthy balance between connection and independence. Luckily, there are many mental health strategies that can help you and your partner maintain a strong bond while also caring for one another’s emotional well-being. From coping mechanisms to relationship-building tips, you can learn to make the distance work for you and not against you.

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Is Journaling Good For Your Mental Health?

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Is Journaling Good For Your Mental Health?

Journaling is a simple yet effective tool for enhancing your mental health. When you physically write down your thoughts and emotions, you can gain clarity and self-awareness so you can effectively reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. Journaling gives you an unfiltered expression of your feelings, and it can be a safe outlet for any intense emotions you may be experiencing. The practice of journaling is to make you more mindful, give you the space to reflect, and solve your problems. Over time, this leads to a greater sense of emotional regulation and well-being.


In addition to being a therapeutic force, journaling fosters creativity and a high sense of self-expression, giving you the space for personal growth and exploration. You can think of journaling as a tool for processing past events, setting future goals, and tracking progress over time. Many people who journal report that it helps them better understand their inner world, including their thoughts and triggers. By gaining this level of awareness, it can contribute to your coping skills and emotional resilience. Whether you journal daily or periodically, journaling is an accessible mental health tool and it can be an effective practice for maintaining your mental health.

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Everything You Need to Know About Psychodynamic Treatment

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Everything You Need to Know About Psychodynamic Treatment

Psychodynamic treatment, also known as psychodynamic therapy, is a form of talk therapy that roots itself in psychoanalysis. Some types of mental health counseling focus on surface-level issues; however, psychodynamic counseling dives deep into your unconscious thoughts and past experiences to get to the root cause of your emotional distress. This form of therapy is constructed on the belief that your early life experiences and unconscious thoughts shape your behaviors and adult relationships. When you explore hidden influences in psychodynamic counseling, you will achieve greater self-awareness and emotional healing.


In this comprehensive blog, we will explore everything you need to know about psychodynamic treatment, from its historical origins to its application in modern times. Whether you are considering attending psychodynamic therapy yourself or you are simply interested in how it works, this blog will shed great insight on the transformative power of psychodynamic treatment. From pinpointing key benefits to addressing common misconceptions, this blog will give you a clear understanding of what psychodynamic treatment entails and how it can be an effective approach for personal growth and mental health healing.

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Career Coaching for Teachers

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Career Coaching for Teachers

Teaching is one of the most impactful careers you can have, but the profession also comes along with unique challenges and opportunities for growth. This profession is built on passion, dedication, and the desire to make a difference in the lives of children and teens. However, like any other career, it requires careful navigation. Career counseling for teachers gives you personalized guidance to help you clarify your goals and enhance your skills as an educator. Whether you are looking to advance in your current role or explore opportunities outside the classroom, career coaching can give you support and personalized strategies to succeed.

If you are a teacher who wants to thrive personally and professionally, this is the blog for you! Continue reading this blog to discover practical advice, inspiring insights, and actionable tips to help you achieve your goals and rediscover your passion for your work. From transitioning into a leadership role to working toward a better work-life balance, working with a career counselor at Anchor Therapy will leave you feeling empowered to unlock your true potential and create a fulfilling career. 

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5 Ways to Start Practicing Mindfulness

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5 Ways to Start Practicing Mindfulness

In today’s world, everyone is constantly on the go. We have certain things that demand our attention, deadlines at work or at school, and other constant streams of distractions, such as social media. Many of us find ourselves living life on autopilot. You may be moving from one task to the next without even realizing it. If this sounds like your life, this is where mindfulness can come into play. Mindfulness is a simple, transformative way of life that invites you to slow down, tune in, and reconnect with the present.

Mindfulness is not about just achieving a peaceful state of mind or escaping the challenges of life- it is about cultivating awareness and acceptance for the present moment, no matter what life throws your way. Whether you are looking to manage stress or simply want to learn how to savor life’s small moments, mindfulness can help you engage with life’s experiences on a deeper level. Research shows that mindfulness can reduce stress by 31%.

If you have been curious about starting your journey with mindfulness but are not sure where to begin, you are in the right place! Whether you are a complete beginner or you are looking to refresh your mindfulness practice, keep reading this blog to find approachable ways to integrate mindfulness into your daily routine.

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3 Benefits of Working With A Depression Therapist

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3 Benefits of Working With A Depression Therapist

Navigating depression is not an easy feat- it can even feel overwhelming and isolating. Depression is not a one-size-fits-all experience. In other words, depression manifests differently for each person. Luckily, with the right self-help strategies and support from loved ones and a professional depression therapist at Anchor Therapy, you can make significant strides in managing your depression. 

Depression therapy gives you a safe space to explore your emotions, comprehend your underlying emotions, and create effective coping strategies tailored to your unique set of needs. Understanding the benefits of depression counseling is the first step to starting your professional mental health care journey. 

A skilled depression counselor works closely with you to offer personalized care by pinpointing triggers, patterns, and the root causes of your internal struggles. At Anchor Therapy, our depression therapists utilize evidence-based techniques to address your unique obstacles, whether through Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), or more! This type of customized mental health counseling makes sure that you receive practical support as well as structured support that is deeply relevant to your life. 


Working with a depression therapist goes beyond mere symptom management- it is all about creating long-lasting resilience and emotional growth. A depression coach can help you rebuild self-esteem, fortify your relationships, and create better tools to handle future stressors. As you make progress in depression treatment, you will find that you are better equipped to reclaim your happiness and purpose. This alone can make depression therapy a transformative journey worth considering. If you are interested in learning more, continue reading this blog to dive into the three key benefits of working with a depression therapist!

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The Impact of Trauma on LGBTQIA+ Lives

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The Impact of Trauma on LGBTQIA+ Lives

For many people within the LGBTQIA+ community, the journey of identity acceptance is intertwined with unique celebrations and challenges alike. Unfortunately, for many people in the LGBTQIA+ community, trauma is a common experience that ranges from rejection and discrimination to systematic oppression. Every person’s story is different and the impact of trauma can leave great marks on one’s self-esteem, relationships, and overall mental health and well-being. Recognizing how the experiences in your life affected you is the first step to healing.


Trauma in the LGBTQIA+ population is typically rooted in external pressures to conform to the norms of society. Bullying, family rejection, workplace discrimination, and religious condemnation are just some examples of negative LGBTQIA+ experiences that can create deep emotional scars. There are also systemic barriers in place, from exclusion in certain spaces to a lack of access to affirming care, that can worsen these effects. Even microaggressions can create an ongoing sense of alienation. There are very specific challenges at play for marginalized communities, particularly those in the LGBTQIA+ community.


Understanding the impact of trauma on LGBTQIA+ people is important to create a sense of resilience and carve a path to healing. Particularly with LGBTQIA+ youth, only 4% of people in this community reported never having experienced any symptoms of trauma according to the Trevor Project. With a LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist at Anchor Therapy, you both can create a space where you are seen, valued, and safe.

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How to Unlock Emotional Closeness in Your Relationship with An Intimacy Therapist

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How to Unlock Emotional Closeness in Your Relationship with An Intimacy Therapist

In any relationship, emotional closeness is the heartbeat. Many couples struggle to maintain the deep connection they once experienced at the beginning of their relationship as life tends to get in the way. This blockage can lead to feelings of frustration, loneliness, and distance. If you and your partner are in this position, the silver lining is that emotional closeness is not simply something you possess or do not possess. You can view emotional closeness as a skill that can get stronger over time with the right amount of attention and care. One route to this is to work with an intimacy coach who can offer a compassionate, guided way to identify and solve emotional barriers so you and your partner can rediscover the bond that brought you two together in the first place.


Intimacy counseling can provide you with the tools needed to help you and your significant other communicate more openly, create trust, and deepen your understanding of one another. Most times, couples are unaware of the hidden patterns and unspoken fears that dominate their daily conversations and behaviors. Whatever you and your partner are going through, an intimacy counselor is there to create a safe space to explore your challenges. Through this exploration process, you and your significant other can learn to express your emotions without fear of judgment and to build a connection which is rooted in authenticity and empathy.

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Are Dating Apps Bad For Your Mental Health?

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Are Dating Apps Bad For Your Mental Health?

In today’s world, dating apps have become commonplace. They have become the standard way to meet people and connect, offering access to thousands of potential romantic partners with a simple swipe or tap. There is no denying the convenience of these apps and how easy they make it to meet new people and expand your social circle, but have you ever wondered how online dating can impact your mental health? Do dating apps actually help people find meaningful connections? Do dating apps leave you feeling more isolated than before? More anxious? More dissatisfied?


In this blog, we will explore the complex impact of dating apps on one’s mental health, analyzing both the excitement they offer and the emotional toll they can take. Whether you are an avid user of dating apps or utilize them reluctantly, it is important to understand how online dating can impact your self-esteem, relationships, self-confidence, and overall happiness.

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What are signs of love bombing?

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What are signs of love bombing?

Love bombing usually involves bombarding a romantic partner with love, attention, and affection. A love bomber would shower you with compliments, gifts, and grand gestures, for instance. While some people may view love bombing as normal behavior for someone who is newly in love, love bombing takes things a step further. It goes beyond simply getting someone a bouquet of flowers, it is a form of psychological and emotional abuse often disguised as excessive flattery.


Love bombing is a manipulation tactic. People who love bomb are looking to gain control and power over the other person at the beginning of the relationship. Commonly, love bombing is associated with narcissism. For more information, check out our blog “8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist.”

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What is ethical non-monogamy?

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What is ethical non-monogamy?

Ethical non-monogamy is a romantic relationship structure where all people involved consent to having multiple romantic or sexual relationships. Unlike cheating, all actions in a non-monogamous relationship are ethically conducted where everyone’s boundaries and feelings are being respected and honored. Honesty and open communication are at the forefront of an ethically non-monogamous relationship.

Ethical non-monogamy may also be referred to as an ENM relationship. ENM is an umbrella term for taking part in a romantic or intimate relationship that is not exclusive to just two people. Non-monogamy is simply the opposite of monogamy. A monogamous relationship is where two partners are exclusive with one another and do not engage in romantic or intimate relationships with other people.

To learn how to have a successful ENM relationship, continue to read this blog!

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How to Be Okay Not Being in a Relationship

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How to Be Okay Not Being in a Relationship

When you are by yourself or single, you may look around and feel like you see the whole world in love. Perhaps that couple sharing ice cream in the park catches your attention. Or you see a married couple holding hands. These experiences can trigger feelings of loneliness within you. 

As if this is not already emotionally exhausting for you, you may have family members or friends who are questioning your relationship status as well. While you may feel tempted to fight against them when comments about your love life are made, you know that will not solve anything or change your situation. You may even be someone who is content being alone! But, if you need a little help getting to the point of being okay with being by yourself, continue reading this blog.

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