Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

ptsd trauma counseling

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How to Use Anxious Attachment Therapy to Build Secure Attachment

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How to Use Anxious Attachment Therapy to Build Secure Attachment

Are you struggling with anxious attachment patterns in your relationships? Do you feel abandoned when you are away from your partner? Do you find yourself needing constant reassurance from other people? How do you feel when a significant other or friend wants some alone time? If you find yourself fearing abandonment, needing constant reassurance, and feeling insecure, you are not alone in your relationship struggles.


An anxious attachment style can deeply impact your emotional welfare and ability to successfully connect with others. With that being said, with the right tools and mindset, you can move towards building a secure attachment style! A secure attachment style refers to a healthy, positive pattern of emotional bonding that occurs in a relationship. It is characterized by trust, comfort with intimacy, and the ability to rely on other people without a fear of rejection or abandonment. Specifically, with therapy for an anxious attachment style at Anchor Therapy, you can learn how to reframe your anxious thoughts into positive, more realistic ones to build better connections in your life, whether romantic or platonic!

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5 Ways to Spot the Signs of Trauma Dumping

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5 Ways to Spot the Signs of Trauma Dumping

In relationships, the sharing of personal struggles and emotional experiences often bring two people closer together as it can foster connection and understanding. However, when this sharing crosses the line of becoming excessive or one-sided, you move into trauma dumping territory. When someone unloads their emotional pain onto you in a way that feels unfiltered, inappropriate, and/or overwhelming, it is likely trauma dumping. Venting can be done in a healthy manner, but trauma dumping inherently crosses boundaries, and leaves the listener feeling drained or uncomfortable.


Of course, it is important to support your loved ones during tough times, but it is also important to safeguard your mental health so you can maintain emotional balance and not feel overwhelmed by trauma dumping. Sometimes, the person doing the trauma dumping may not even realize that they are straining your relationship! Continue reading this blog to see how constantly being on the receiving end of a trauma dump can create emotional burnout.

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5 Emotional Effects of a Hurricane

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5 Emotional Effects of a Hurricane

Hurricanes are often known for their physical destruction. When you think of a hurricane, it is likely that some powerful images come to your mind- torrential rains, powerful winds, and surging water. However, what is not talked about as much is the emotional impact of a hurricane which can be just as overwhelming as the physical effects. 


The devastation brought by recent storms, such as Hurricane Milton and Hurricane Helene, extend beyond just the physical wreckage left behind. When going through a natural disaster, it is likely that you are experiencing a whirlwind of emotions, from anxiety and fear to grief and helplessness. 


In the immediate aftermath of a hurricane, you are likely dealing with a lot of things, from the chaos and uncertainty surrounding evacuations to property damage. This sort of disruption in your life can leave you feeling vulnerable and emotionally exhausted. 


Going through a natural disaster once may leave you wondering when the next one will strike. This heightened fear can lead to more stress, insomnia, and even Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. The experience of living through and surviving a hurricane can challenge your sense of safety, creating emotional scars that require mental health healing.

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What are the goals of psychodynamic therapy?

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What are the goals of psychodynamic therapy?

If you have attended therapy or have an idea of what mental health counseling looks like in your head, one of the first things that comes to mind is likely the question, “How does that make you feel?”. Think about any therapy reference in popular culture and some form of that question is likely present. With that being said, some of the more popular, modern types of therapy, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), do not place this question at the forefront of counseling sessions.


Psychodynamic therapy can be applied for a variety of mental health concerns; however, many people may not know about this therapeutic practice. Psychodynamic therapy offers a holistic approach to mental health care. To learn more, continue reading this blog!

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Can PTSD Cause Memory Loss?

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Can PTSD Cause Memory Loss?

If you suffer with memory issues, you are not alone. Memory loss is extremely common for people struggling with trauma, especially Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). PTSD can impact many facets of your life- emotionally, cognitively, and physically.

One lesser-well known PTSD symptom that people do not often talk about is memory loss. This can include both short-term and long-term memory. There is a direct link between PTSD and memory loss. Lifestyle changes and working with a trauma therapist can help. Keep reading for more information!

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Healing Abandonment Trauma with Inner Work

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Healing Abandonment Trauma with Inner Work

While abandonment is a very real and prevalent topic in many people’s lives,it may seem like  the abandonment wound goes under the radar in the world of mental health. Abandonment is not necessarily a diagnosable mental health disorder, but that does not mean that abandonment does not cause mental health concerns. In fact, abandonment can trigger a fear or anxiety of the people who are the closest to you, leaving you. 

Struggling with abandonment issues can trigger additional worries in your life, such as the inability to form meaningful relationships with other people. There are many causes of abandonment, from lack of closeness with a parental figure to inconsistent emotional support. Early childhood experiences are one of the largest contributors to developing abandonment problems as an adult.

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Everything You Need To Know About Sexual Trauma Therapy

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Everything You Need To Know About Sexual Trauma Therapy

Anyone who has experienced physical or sexual violence in their life knows the devastating affects it can have on your psychological well-being and physical self. Even after the sexual trauma has happened, the negative ramifications continue to live on. After your trauma, you may lose faith in humanity, therefore making it more difficult for you to trust people.

Healing from sexual trauma is a highly individualized experience, and there is no timeline put on healing. In order to journey ahead on this emotionally-taxing process, you need to practice time, patience, self-compassion, and locate the right resources, like a trauma therapist.

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What Is Considered Intergenerational Trauma?

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What Is Considered Intergenerational Trauma?

While you may not have heard of the term “intergenerational trauma”, you may have heard the coined phrase “generational curse.” Intergenerational trauma, or a generational curse in simpler terms, refers to trauma that is passed from a trauma survivor onto the family’s descendants. If you are experiencing intergenerational trauma, you may be living through symptoms, reactions, patterns, and the emotional and physical effects of a loved one’s trauma, such as a parent or grandparent.

This concept of trauma throughout multiple lifespans was developed to explain years of generational challenges within a given family unit. Essentially, it is the transmission of trauma, being sent down to younger generations. If you and your family are struggling with generational trauma, continue to read this blog for much-needed support and guidance.

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How Childhood Trauma Can Cause Anxiety, Depression, & PTSD

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How Childhood Trauma Can Cause Anxiety, Depression, & PTSD

Childhood trauma can have a long lasting impact on people. If you suffer from childhood trauma, you may be more at risk for developing anxiety, depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and other mental disorders. By unpacking your trauma with a trauma therapist or anxiety counselor, you'll be able to process those memories and emotions, and feel like your best self again!

What Is Childhood Trauma?

Childhood trauma is the experience of an event by a child or teen that is emotionally painful or distressful, which often results in lasting mental and physical effects. Childhood trauma can occur when a child witnesses or experiences overwhelming negative events in childhood. Children are too young to process events they experienced which causes them to repress, or bury, the memory.

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The Role of Trauma in Netflix’s Firefly Lane

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The Role of Trauma in Netflix’s Firefly Lane

*Spoilers about seasons 1 & 2 of Netflix’s show Firefly Lane ahead!*

Firefly Lane is a powerful and heartwarming story of two women who formed an unbreakable bond as teenagers, and stayed by each other's side for nearly three decades. Starring Sarah Chalke as Kate Mularkey and Katherine Heigl as Tully Hart, the two go through good and bad times, while battling their own issues. 

In the summer of 1974, Tully Hart moved into a beautiful home on Firefly Lane. Directly across the street from her lived Kate Mularkey and her family. Kate is thrilled when Tully moves in, as she continuously daydreams about being her friend. On the surface, they are as opposite as two people could be. Tully is mysterious, smart, popular and beautiful, while Kate is strange, quiet, and nerdy. They encounter each other a few times outside, where Kate attempts to be Tully's friend, but Tully is closed off. 

One night, Tully tells Kate a secret while she is upset and feeling vulnerable. Kate promises to never tell Tully's secret, and they made a pact to remain best friends forever. By the end of summer, Tully and Kate were inseparable. 

From the beginning, Tully is desperate to prove her worth to the world. Abandoned by her mother at an early age, she searches for unconditional love. She looks to men to fill the void by drinking and having one night stands. As the 90’s approaches, Tully is captivated by the world of television news, as this has been her lifelong dream. She will follow her own blind ambition to New York and around the country, ultimately finding fame and success… and loneliness. 

Kate knows early on that her life will be nothing special. In college, she pretends to be driven by success, but all she wants is to fall in love, have children and live an ordinary life. Although, when she does become a wife and mother, it changes her and makes her question who she is and what she once wanted. 

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How to Heal After Infidelity

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How to Heal After Infidelity

The truth is that working through an affair in a relationship is difficult. On both sides, it requires a great deal of vulnerability, energy, time, work, and commitment. Affair recovery is a process of healing your relationship on a mental, emotional, and physical level after infidelity occurs. Typically, the process of recovery after infidelity can take anywhere from six months to two years, but it is important to remember that each couple is unique. For some couples, it may take a little shorter or longer to fully recover.

The painful process of recovery after an affair requires compassion, strength, and humility. An affair does equate to intense emotional pain; however, that pain does not have to end a relationship. There are ways to rebuild your connection with your partner even after an affair if you are both willing and able to put in the work.

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Your Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Trauma at College

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Your Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Trauma at College

In any given semester, college level students experience a multitude of stressors and possible trauma. On college campuses, it is reported that nearly two thirds of college students have experienced or been exposed to a traumatic event while being at school. 

Trauma occurs when you experience a terrifying or life threatening event that leaves you in shock or fear. This can range from constant stress to experiencing an assault. While balancing your education, social life, mental and physical well-being, trauma may weigh heavily on you and make it hard to complete everyday tasks. 

If you are experiencing trauma at school, you are not alone.

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Everything You Need to Know About CBT for PTSD

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Everything You Need to Know About CBT for PTSD

Most people know about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as shell shock. You may be experiencing debilitating nightmares or find yourself being over-reactive. PTSD is commonly attributed to the military community. While PTSD in veterans is a common occurrence, you do not have to be in the service to have PTSD.

PTSD symptoms can impact anyone. PTSD is a type of anxiety disorder that occurs after a deeply scary or intimidating event. You do not even have to be directly involved in the event for you to experience PTSD. That is to say, the pure shock of the event can be so large that you have a difficult time living a normal life.

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Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

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Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

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7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

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7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

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How Childhood Trauma Can Impact You as an Adult

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How Childhood Trauma Can Impact You as an Adult

When we think of children, we often view them as being resilient- they can bounce back from almost anything. Although it may seem like children “bounce back” on the surface, traumatic experiences in childhood can lead to serious and long-lasting effects into adulthood, particularly when the trauma goes unresolved.

Childhood trauma can result from anything that leaves a child feeling helpless, disrupting their sense of safety and security. This can include:

  • Sexual abuse

  • Physical abuse

  • Verbal abuse

  • Domestic violence

  • Unstable/unsafe environment

  • Separation from a parent

  • Neglect

  • Bullying

  • Serious illness

  • Intrusive medical procedures

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5 Healthy Ways to Cope With PTSD

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5 Healthy Ways to Cope With PTSD

Post-traumatic stress disorder, also known as PTSD, is a mental health condition that is characterized by a particular, terrifying event. This event can be either experienced first-hand or witnessed.

PTSD symptoms can start within one month of a traumatic event occurring; however, there are cases where symptoms appear years after the event took place. PTSD symptoms typically cause serious problems in both your social and professional lives. The symptoms can impede your ability to complete common daily tasks.