From family gatherings to cooking and baking your favorite dishes, the holidays can truly be a magical time of the year. Seeing the smiles on the faces of your loved ones is precious, and some of the most memorable times can be created during the holiday season. However, it is also important to acknowledge the darkness that can appear during this time of year in the form of holiday stress.
While the holiday season is an undeniably joyous time of year, that does not mean that it does not have its hardships which can easily produce stress. Everyone is normally busy during the holiday season. It can become normal to have a packed schedule during this time of year which may prevent you from allocating some much-needed self-care.
Whether you’re rushing around to get all of your loved one’s presents, preparing dinner for your family, or planning to host the holiday at your house, many tasks need to be completed during the holidays. In other words, it can seem like your to-do list is never-ending on top of other life responsibilities, like work and parenthood for instance.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, and life transitions. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and telehealth (video/phone) sessions to residents of New Jersey and New York.
This holiday season you may be feeling:
Overwhelmed
Exhausted
Guilty
Angry
Tearful
The holidays can be especially stressful if you just experienced the death of a loved one. If you feel like you are struggling to accept the loss of a loved one, grief counseling may be a helpful option for you. To learn more about grief counseling, read our recent blog “What to Expect in Grief Counseling.”
This holiday season can also be particularly overwhelming since it may be the first time many families are gathering together again due to the COVID-19 pandemic. The pandemic caused many families to be isolated, including during the holidays. There may be anxiety and stress at the mere thought of seeing your family once again, especially family members with whom you may not always see eye-to-eye.
Regardless of what is stressing you this holiday season, you should always try to remember that this is something you have control over. If you want to learn some simple ways to de-stress this holiday season, keep reading!
Delegate Tasks
Delegating tasks may not be appealing to everyone. For example, some people may think “If I want it done right, I need to do it myself” or “I do not want to ask anyone for help.” People often fall into this mindset when they take on more than their fair share of responsibilities. If you think that you have too much on your plate, it can be helpful to lessen it by sharing your responsibilities with others.
If you are against sharing your tasks, take a deep breath and practice mindfulness. Think about how you will feel after delegating your task. Once it is assigned, it is out of your hands. Now, the responsibility is up to someone else who gives you extra free time. This free time may be used to catch up on other duties or practice some self-care.
If you are apprehensive to delegate tasks, first try to do this by assigning a trusted person a low-priority task. This way, you can judge the delegation once the task is completed and, in the case that it is not completed to your level of satisfaction, it is a trivial matter. However, in the case that it is satisfactory, you will now have the confidence to assign larger tasks to other trusted individuals.
By delegating the tasks that cause you to stress, you will be able to enjoy the holiday season.
2. Do Not Be Afraid to Say “No”
There are so many important events in December, and you may find it difficult to say “no” to all of the events that you are presented with. Do not feel obligated to attend every party, dinner, or other events that you are invited to. If you are not feeling up to it, respectfully declining the offer to attend an event is perfectly okay. You can thank the person for including you, give them your best wishes, and move on.
By saying “no”, you may free up some time in your schedule to reconnect with the things that matter to you, such as spending time with your family or prioritizing your hobbies and other tasks that make you happy.
3. Create Realistic Expectations of Your Holiday Celebration
When we set our expectations, we may choose to place the bar very high. You may have the perfect vision of how your holiday will unfold, but life does not always follow our plan. Be mindful of the things that do not fit your ideal holiday event. By doing so, you can become conscious of the outcomes you wish for, and become more flexible.
Once you become more adaptable, you will find that your stress reduces drastically. Remember that your definition of “wrong” may not be the same viewpoint that everyone else has. Therefore, if something goes “wrong”, it is not a catastrophe. Instead, you can choose to view the occurrence as a valuable holiday memory that you can reflect on for years to come.
4. Show Yourself Some Compassion
Unfortunately, we tend to be our biggest critics. During times where your self-criticism is high, lean towards self-compassion. Instead of accepting your moments of criticism, learn to push back and actively engage in compassion. This can be accomplished by learning more about yourself. By exploring yourself, you can identify what you love about yourself and what makes you happy.
There may be some moments where criticism sneaks in, and that is okay. It may happen from time to time. Instead of aiming for perfection, you should know that self-compassion is rooted in empathy, kindness, and self-love.
If you are having a hard time showing yourself some compassion, try to imagine the advice and support that you would show a close family member or friend who is going through the same situation as you. When you practice this exercise, you will realize that you are being overly critical of yourself- something that you would never do to a loved one.
5. Do Not Forget What Is Truly Important
It can be so easy to get wrapped up in the responsibilities and stresses of the holiday season, but it is crucial to not forget what is truly important. Emerging from a pandemic and entering a “new normal” has made a lot of people more aware of their blessings.
While some people may place religion at the forefront of the holiday season, others may believe that the health of their family is the most important for instance. Whatever your prioritization is, it is important to not lose sight of it.
If you feel like you are getting lost in the hecticness of the holiday season, ask yourself the following questions:
Can I use this moment as a chance to reflect?
Where does my frustration fit in the ‘big picture’?
Is there a way I can make this stress more pleasant?
If you feel like your stress persists outside of the holiday season, you may be experiencing chronic stress. Chronic stress can be defined as a prolonged or constant feeling of stress. If untreated, chronic stress can negatively impact your physical and mental health.
In the case of chronic stress, stress management therapy can reduce your stress levels. In stress counseling, you will learn to manage your stress by assessing your thoughts, actions, and circumstances. To learn more about stress therapy or anxiety counseling, read one of our most recent blog posts “Everything You Need to Know About Stress Management Therapy.”
Overall, holiday stress can impact us in several ways. While holidays may raise your stress levels, bear in mind that it is something you have control over. You are never powerless! Once you use the tips outlined above, you may find it easier to enjoy your holiday season.
Victoria Scala
is the Social Media Manager at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey. She is currently an undergraduate student at the Honors College of Rutgers University-Newark, looking to study Clinical Mental Health Counseling at the graduate level. As a Social Media Manager at Anchor Therapy, Victoria is committed to producing content for and managing the office’s social media presence and blog.
