Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

stress help

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How To Find In Person Therapy Near Me

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How To Find In Person Therapy Near Me

Finding a therapist who is the right fit for you can be a challenging task to say the least. Now, when you try to find an in-person therapist near you, it may be extra harder. A therapist in Hoboken can give you expert mental health advice as well as a space where you feel safe and genuinely supported as a client and human being. With many therapy options available, finding a therapist near me who aligns with your needs, such as your area of concern or type of therapy you are seeking, and schedule can feel stressful. Whether you are dealing with anxiety, career stress, relationship issues, trauma, or are simply seeking personal growth, mental health counseling can be a tool for powerful transformation and self-improvement. 


Starting the search for the right therapist can seem daunting, particularly if you do not know where to start your therapist search or how to filter through your options of counselors. It can first be important to understand your own preferences when it comes to finding a psychotherapist, from specialization to treatment approach. Knowing what is most important to you will help make the search a little easier and ensure that you find a therapist that truly fits your needs. For extra support with this process, check out our blog “How to Find The Best Therapist Near Me.”

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What Is The Main Cause of Insomnia?

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What Is The Main Cause of Insomnia?

Insomnia is when you experience disruptions in how you feel or function because you are not sleeping well or sleeping enough. Insomnia is a very common sleep disorder. In fact, research has shown that roughly 1 in 3 adults worldwide have insomnia symptoms, and roughly 10% of adults meet the criteria for insomnia disorder. Insomnia is typically characterized by difficulties in falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up too early and failing to fall back asleep.


Insomnia can lead to many physical and mental health problems, from fatigue to mood problems. There are many factors that can contribute to insomnia, but getting to the root cause of your insomnia problems is essential for effective treatment and sleep disorder management. One of the primary culprits of insomnia is anxiety and stress. The pressures of life, from work troubles to relationship issues, can cause your body and mind to enter a heightened state of alertness where it becomes difficult to relax and get ready for sleep.


By identifying the main cause of insomnia, you can be better positioned to make lifestyle changes and seek treatment options to restore peaceful sleep!

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Why Do I Have Control Issues?

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Why Do I Have Control Issues?

At one point or another, everyone has struggled with control in some way shape or form. Perhaps you try to take control over a romantic relationship so you do not let emotions cloud your judgment. Maybe your control issues really come to the surface at work where you compete with your peers. Past experiences or a fear of uncertainty commonly drive control concerns. You may have a deep-seated belief that being in control equates to safety and stability. 


Continue reading this blog if you want to explore the root causes of control issues, learn how control concerns manifest in your behaviors and relationships, and, most importantly, to see what coping strategies can be implemented in your life to regain a sense of balance and flexibility. When you understand the underlying motivations of your control issues, you can take healthier actions to better yourself which will also better the interactions you have with other people. This will ultimately lead to a more fulfilling, happier life. 

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Are Dating Apps Bad For Your Mental Health?

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Are Dating Apps Bad For Your Mental Health?

In today’s world, dating apps have become commonplace. They have become the standard way to meet people and connect, offering access to thousands of potential romantic partners with a simple swipe or tap. There is no denying the convenience of these apps and how easy they make it to meet new people and expand your social circle, but have you ever wondered how online dating can impact your mental health? Do dating apps actually help people find meaningful connections? Do dating apps leave you feeling more isolated than before? More anxious? More dissatisfied?


In this blog, we will explore the complex impact of dating apps on one’s mental health, analyzing both the excitement they offer and the emotional toll they can take. Whether you are an avid user of dating apps or utilize them reluctantly, it is important to understand how online dating can impact your self-esteem, relationships, self-confidence, and overall happiness.

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

Have you ever experienced the same thoughts over and over again? Do you dwell on these thoughts, and the negative feelings that come along with it? The repetitive, often negative aspect of thought rumination can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression, as well as worsen existing conditions.


Rumination is when you feel stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. Rumination is an obsessive form of thinking that includes excessive, repetitive thoughts or themes that conflict with other mental activity, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Although thought rumination typically occurs for individuals with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), anyone can struggle with obsessive thinking. 


Rumination can transform worry into a habit or a way of life. Obsessive thinking can be a hard cycle to break, but it is possible! Continue reading this blog to learn how to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts.

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5 Emotional Effects of a Hurricane

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5 Emotional Effects of a Hurricane

Hurricanes are often known for their physical destruction. When you think of a hurricane, it is likely that some powerful images come to your mind- torrential rains, powerful winds, and surging water. However, what is not talked about as much is the emotional impact of a hurricane which can be just as overwhelming as the physical effects. 


The devastation brought by recent storms, such as Hurricane Milton and Hurricane Helene, extend beyond just the physical wreckage left behind. When going through a natural disaster, it is likely that you are experiencing a whirlwind of emotions, from anxiety and fear to grief and helplessness. 


In the immediate aftermath of a hurricane, you are likely dealing with a lot of things, from the chaos and uncertainty surrounding evacuations to property damage. This sort of disruption in your life can leave you feeling vulnerable and emotionally exhausted. 


Going through a natural disaster once may leave you wondering when the next one will strike. This heightened fear can lead to more stress, insomnia, and even Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. The experience of living through and surviving a hurricane can challenge your sense of safety, creating emotional scars that require mental health healing.

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How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

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How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, simply referred to as PCOS, is a hormonal disorder that impacts women who are of reproductive age. While the cause of PCOS is not well known, we do know that it causes enlarged ovaries with small cysts on the outer edges. Health experts believe a combination of genetic and environmental factors are at play with this disorder. 

The effects of PCOS are still being studied, but we know that those with the disorder can experience a wide range of mental health concerns, from anxiety and depression to eating disorders and low self-esteem. Continue reading this blog to figure out how PCOS may be impacting you mentally and emotionally, and what you can do to cope.

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Why Is Bed Rotting Okay?

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Why Is Bed Rotting Okay?

Bed rotting has quickly emerged as a popular form of self-care amongst members of Generation Z on TikTok and beyond. But, the real question is- is it a healthy form of self-care? 

Mental health experts agree that self-care is necessary to effectively manage stress and to boost your energy, but it also may leave many other people questioning what the line is between self-care and potentially harmful behavior.

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7 Stress Management Tools From a Licensed Therapist

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7 Stress Management Tools From a Licensed Therapist

Stress is an inevitable part of life, stemming from various sources such as work, relationships, PTSD and mental health issues and other personal challenges. While some stress can be beneficial, pushing us to perform better and adapt to new situations, chronic stress can have detrimental effects on our physical and mental health. Therefore, effective stress management tools are essential for maintaining overall well-being. This blog explores several proven techniques and strategies to manage stress effectively.

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Healing Abandonment Trauma with Inner Work

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Healing Abandonment Trauma with Inner Work

While abandonment is a very real and prevalent topic in many people’s lives,it may seem like  the abandonment wound goes under the radar in the world of mental health. Abandonment is not necessarily a diagnosable mental health disorder, but that does not mean that abandonment does not cause mental health concerns. In fact, abandonment can trigger a fear or anxiety of the people who are the closest to you, leaving you. 

Struggling with abandonment issues can trigger additional worries in your life, such as the inability to form meaningful relationships with other people. There are many causes of abandonment, from lack of closeness with a parental figure to inconsistent emotional support. Early childhood experiences are one of the largest contributors to developing abandonment problems as an adult.

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8 Video Games That Help With Stress Relief

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8 Video Games That Help With Stress Relief

There are many different opinions on video games and how they really affect the player. For example, there are arguments that violent games can be harmful for young children. However, there are many different genres and styles of games just like other forms of media. The spectrum of playability is so broad that to one person, a game can be easy and replayable, and to another the game can be hard and stressful. On a positive note, there are many games that have been deemed stress-relieving by many different sources. 

As a broad genre, it’s easy to refer to many of these soothing games as CasualGames. Casual games differ from hardcore games because they are marketed towards a broader audience - an audience that generally enjoys simpler rules, less-tasking gameplay, simpler controls, and games in general that don’t require too much skill. When having feelings of stress and anxiety, for some, it’s nice to use something to wind down, something calming. Here’s a list of 8 casual games that you can play to help with stress relief. This list includes popular games, underrated games, and games that support multiple players.

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6 Ways to Effectively Reduce Stress

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6 Ways to Effectively Reduce Stress

Whether you are coping with a mental health disorder, like anxiety or depression, or trying to go through a major life transition, stress is a part of life. You cannot always control life’s circumstances, but you can control how you respond to them! 

Although stress is a normal part of life, there is such a thing as overwhelming or chronic stress. Chronic stress is when the stress is constant and persists over an extended period of time, becoming debilitating and interfering with your ability to complete daily tasks. 

Chronic stress can impact your well-being. Therefore, having effective stress-reduction techniques is a must. It is important to note that stress reduction techniques are not one-size-fits-all. In fact, the process of finding a stress reduction method that works for you may take some trial and error and that is perfectly normal. What works for you, may not work for the next person and vice versa.

By having multiple stress relief tools at your disposal, you can be well-equipped to manage your stress when it arises. By having this arsenal, you will be able to pinpoint which tools work the best for you.

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How to Cope with Moving Stress

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How to Cope with Moving Stress

Whether you are moving to a new city, new state, or even a new country, changing locations is a thrilling experience! Moving out of an old, stagnant place and into a new setting, there can be much to look forward to. Many people will often look forward to moving, especially if their old living quarters were not as desirable as their new space.

As exciting as moving can be, it can also be equally as stressful. It can be nerve-wracking to think about the new responsibilities you may have when moving to a new location, such as meeting new friends. Another difficult component of moving can be the general stress of transporting your items and making sure that your space is suitable for your arrival. This is also known as the emotional stress of moving.

When you are planning a move, you most likely already know that it will not be an easy undertaking. If you want to lower your stress level during the moving process and settle into your new home as smoothly as possible, it is advised that you prepare yourself and learn some helpful stress management tips. Keep reading this blog to learn how to cope with moving stress!

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5 Ways I Prioritize My Mental Health In College

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5 Ways I Prioritize My Mental Health In College

My name is Madeline and I am a social media intern here at Anchor Therapy. I am currently a junior in college and it has taken me quite a while to figure out how I can prioritize my mental health. Between taking six classes, working two jobs, and trying to balance friendships and schoolwork, it can be very overwhelming and my mental health often used to take a back seat. I always find myself wanting to do everything I can at the same time to make sure I am having the traditional “college experience” that I have heard about my entire life. This year especially I have been making more of an effort to prioritize my mental health and do what is best for me. Here are my top five tips on how to balance your mental health while being in college.

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5 Effective Ways to Reduce Stress During Final Exams

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5 Effective Ways to Reduce Stress During Final Exams

Every college student knows that final exam week sparks unavoidable stress. Even as students look around their college campus during this time of the semester, you can see that stress taking place in the form of anxiety and sleep deprivation.

Although stress is an inevitable component of life, it can easily take a toll on all aspects of your health- including physical, emotional, and mental health. It can also interfere with your academic success. The stress that college students typically deal with involves alterations in one’s lifestyle, an enlarging workload, new duties, and interpersonal relationships. Finals week can add extra pressure onto this already-stressful situation.

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5 Ways to De-Stress This Holiday Season

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5 Ways to De-Stress This Holiday Season

From family gatherings to cooking and baking your favorite dishes, the holidays can truly be a magical time of the year. Seeing the smiles on the faces of your loved ones is precious, and some of the most memorable times can be created during the holiday season. However, it is also important to acknowledge the darkness that can appear during this time of year in the form of holiday stress.

While the holiday season is an undeniably joyous time of year, that does not mean that it does not have its hardships which can easily produce stress. Everyone is normally busy during the holiday season. It can become normal to have a packed schedule during this time of year which may prevent you from allocating some much-needed self-care.

Whether you’re rushing around to get all of your loved one’s presents, preparing dinner for your family, or planning to host the holiday at your house, many tasks need to be completed during the holidays. In other words, it can seem like your to-do list is never-ending on top of other life responsibilities, like work and parenthood for instance.

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Everything You Need to Know About Stress Management Therapy

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Everything You Need to Know About Stress Management Therapy

Stress is an inevitable part of life. From worrying about an upcoming exam to stressing about managing a healthy work-life balance, it seems that there is always a matter to worry about. Stress is an automatic reaction to a wearisome event, and it is completely normal. However, there may come a time when stress negatively impacts your life.

Stress has the unique ability to compromise how we think and feel. Stress can impact you both physically and mentally.

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Welcome!

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Welcome to Anchor Therapy's new blog section! I will be posting modern psychology information and tips. Some topics will include how you can feel less anxious, about telehealth sessions (video therapy), and how mental health is viewed in media & pop culture today. Feel free to add your email to the subscription list down below. 

Look out for new blog posts coming soon!

Courtney Glashow, LCSW