Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

self-esteem

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How to Use Anxious Attachment Therapy to Build Secure Attachment

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How to Use Anxious Attachment Therapy to Build Secure Attachment

Are you struggling with anxious attachment patterns in your relationships? Do you feel abandoned when you are away from your partner? Do you find yourself needing constant reassurance from other people? How do you feel when a significant other or friend wants some alone time? If you find yourself fearing abandonment, needing constant reassurance, and feeling insecure, you are not alone in your relationship struggles.


An anxious attachment style can deeply impact your emotional welfare and ability to successfully connect with others. With that being said, with the right tools and mindset, you can move towards building a secure attachment style! A secure attachment style refers to a healthy, positive pattern of emotional bonding that occurs in a relationship. It is characterized by trust, comfort with intimacy, and the ability to rely on other people without a fear of rejection or abandonment. Specifically, with therapy for an anxious attachment style at Anchor Therapy, you can learn how to reframe your anxious thoughts into positive, more realistic ones to build better connections in your life, whether romantic or platonic!

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How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

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How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, simply referred to as PCOS, is a hormonal disorder that impacts women who are of reproductive age. While the cause of PCOS is not well known, we do know that it causes enlarged ovaries with small cysts on the outer edges. Health experts believe a combination of genetic and environmental factors are at play with this disorder. 

The effects of PCOS are still being studied, but we know that those with the disorder can experience a wide range of mental health concerns, from anxiety and depression to eating disorders and low self-esteem. Continue reading this blog to figure out how PCOS may be impacting you mentally and emotionally, and what you can do to cope.

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Why Am I Terrified of Rejection?

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Why Am I Terrified of Rejection?

Feeling fearful of rejection is a very powerful, overwhelming feeling. What if I am not good enough and everyone can see it? What if people think less of me because of this rejection? What if this rejection confirms my worst fears about myself? What if rejection happens repeatedly and it becomes a pattern in my life? The ‘what ifs’ can start to feel endless.

Believe it or not, most people experience nervousness or anxiety when placing themselves in situations that may lead to rejection. However, for some people, the possibility of maybe being rejected throws them into a tailspin and becomes all-consuming. 

The fear of rejection can be rooted in many things, from social embarrassment to a history of repeated rejections. An untreated fear of rejection will only continuously limit your life and the chances you are able to take in it.

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How to Fix Attachment Issues As An Adult

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How to Fix Attachment Issues As An Adult

Children and teens with attachment concerns may detach from their parents or caregivers, or become overly-friendly with random adults. As they age into adulthood, having attachment issues can present difficulties in forming meaningful relationships and negatively impact one’s social development as a whole.

An attachment disorder is a behavioral disorder that can affect your ability to form and maintain connections with other people, whether it is platonic or romantic. Attachment disorders are common in children and teens but, if it is not healed, it can persist into adulthood. 

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The Hidden Impact of Body Image on Your Well-Being

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The Hidden Impact of Body Image on Your Well-Being

Effects of Body Image on well being

In today's fast-paced, media-saturated world, body image has become a significant concern for many individuals. Our perception of our bodies can profoundly impact our mental health, affecting our self-esteem, relationships, and overall quality of life. Many people with poor body image also struggle with anxiety, depression, and turn to unhealthy coping skills to numb these feelings. Body image can vary over time and change throughout an individual’s life and there are many contributing factors. This blog explores the concept of body image, its effects on mental health, and strategies for fostering a positive body image.

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How to Be Okay Not Being in a Relationship

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How to Be Okay Not Being in a Relationship

When you are by yourself or single, you may look around and feel like you see the whole world in love. Perhaps that couple sharing ice cream in the park catches your attention. Or you see a married couple holding hands. These experiences can trigger feelings of loneliness within you. 

As if this is not already emotionally exhausting for you, you may have family members or friends who are questioning your relationship status as well. While you may feel tempted to fight against them when comments about your love life are made, you know that will not solve anything or change your situation. You may even be someone who is content being alone! But, if you need a little help getting to the point of being okay with being by yourself, continue reading this blog.

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How to Start Loving Yourself Again

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How to Start Loving Yourself Again

As human beings, we are social creatures. We are told that the relationships we build with other people- from family members and friends to romantic partners- will be an undeniably important part of our life. While this is true, what about the relationship we have with ourselves? It is the most important relationship in our life, yet it is one we neglect regularly.

When you have self-love, you value your own worth and identity. This can include things like accepting yourself exactly how you are and setting boundaries that advance your mental health. Just as you treat other people with kindness, you should show yourself the same love and compassion too. When you learn how to honor yourself, you can nurture your journey of personal growth and self-acceptance.

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The Ultimate Guide to Building Self-Confidence

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The Ultimate Guide to Building Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is the attitude you have in regards to your skills and abilities. When you have a healthy level of self-confidence, you accept and trust yourself how you are. It also means that you have a good sense of control over your life. You take pride in your strengths, but you also acknowledge your shortcomings. You can handle criticism well, have realistic goals for yourself, and can comfortably communicate your needs. Overall, you have a positive view of yourself, but this positive self-reflection is not always an easy thing to achieve.

Alternatively, when you have low self-confidence, it rarely has anything to do with your actual skills and abilities. Instead, it almost entirely relies on your perception of yourself. Perceptions are how you think about yourself, and those thoughts are subject to falsity. Low self-confidence can stem from several experiences, perhaps you are afraid of failure or you grew up in a family and home environment that was extremely critical of you. When you have a low sense of self-confidence, you often have a pattern of errors in your thinking.

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How Alix Earle Became The “It” Girl While Battling Anxiety and Self-Esteem Issues

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How Alix Earle Became The “It” Girl While Battling Anxiety and Self-Esteem Issues

Who is social media star Alix Earle? 

Alix Earle began her rise to fame through TikTok in 2022. Since then, her TikTok following has grown from 300,000 to 3.5 million people in 2023. Alix grew up in New Jersey, and attended a Catholic high school. Her family owns a construction and paving company which Alix interns at while she attends the University of Miami, studying business and marketing. On point with Alix’s social media skills, she helps with her family company’s newsletter on their website and runs their social media accounts. 

The Earle company prioritizes mental health within their company, showing support for veterans ever since the traumatic September 11th attacks. The family also operates a foundation that mainly focuses on helping people fighting opioid addiction. 

While Alix is speaking on important topics now with her newfound social media fame, it does not mean that she did not have personal struggles in her past. Alix’s father and mother had a public divorcein 2008 but still co parent their shared kids together. Her father remarried and had three children with his new wife. Alix has become a role model and older sister for her younger half siblings. From what she shares online, Alix is a part of a healthy blended family that spends a lot of time together.

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7 Ways to Combat Imposter Syndrome

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7 Ways to Combat Imposter Syndrome

Do you feel like you are a fraud? Do you think that you do not belong in your position? Do you think you simply got lucky?

We’ve all been there before. No matter how hard you have worked or how many hours you put in, you may be feeling unworthy. You may feel like you are not qualified for the new job you just got hired for- afraid that your boss and colleagues will discover the “truth” at any given moment. Maybe you feel like you do not have what it takes to raise your child even though they are a priority and you are trying your best.

Please take comfort in knowing that many people have felt this way at one point or another.

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How to Stop Self-Sabotaging for Good

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How to Stop Self-Sabotaging for Good

Self-sabotaging refers to specific ideals and behaviors that prevent us from being the best versions of ourselves. Contrary to popular belief, self-sabotaging is a normal part of the human experience. In other words, everyone self-sabotages at some point in time; however, some people may do it more often than others. In fact, it may become so normal to you that you do not even realize that you are self-sabotaging.

Self-sabotaging can often seem mysterious or confusing for some people. While most of us want to do well, we may find ourselves standing in our way. Luckily, there are ways to recognize the forms of self-sabotage and overcome them for good.

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5 Ways to De-Stress This Holiday Season

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5 Ways to De-Stress This Holiday Season

From family gatherings to cooking and baking your favorite dishes, the holidays can truly be a magical time of the year. Seeing the smiles on the faces of your loved ones is precious, and some of the most memorable times can be created during the holiday season. However, it is also important to acknowledge the darkness that can appear during this time of year in the form of holiday stress.

While the holiday season is an undeniably joyous time of year, that does not mean that it does not have its hardships which can easily produce stress. Everyone is normally busy during the holiday season. It can become normal to have a packed schedule during this time of year which may prevent you from allocating some much-needed self-care.

Whether you’re rushing around to get all of your loved one’s presents, preparing dinner for your family, or planning to host the holiday at your house, many tasks need to be completed during the holidays. In other words, it can seem like your to-do list is never-ending on top of other life responsibilities, like work and parenthood for instance.

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Do You Understand Your Self-Esteem?

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Do You Understand Your Self-Esteem?

Simply, self-esteem refers to the complex mental states in which one views oneself. Self-esteem is the foundation for the construction of self-meaning, self-identity, self-image, and self-concepts. It is appreciation and likeness for yourself regardless of external factors.

There are numerous factors that can influence your self-esteem, including:

· Self-assurance

· Feeling of safety

· Identity

· Sense of belonging

· Feeling of capability

The evaluation of self that self-esteem permits is important to your mental and social welfare. Your self-esteem impacts your goals, personal dreams, emotional health, decision-making process, and social interactions with peers. Additionally, self-esteem impacts your motivation levels. Typically, if you have a high level of self-esteem, you have a healthy, optimistic view towards yourself which allows you to see your capabilities and can potentially encourage you to take on new obstacles. A high level of self-esteem can lead to advanced health and social behavior.