NYC Sex Therapy
Have you and your partner started to notice changes in the bedroom? Have you and your fiance discussed your expectations for your sexual relationship after marriage? Has your sexual relationship evolved over the course of your marriage? How comfortable are you with your own body and sexual identity?
A sex therapist will be able to help you address the emotional and/or mental obstacles that stand in between you and a healthy, fulfilling sex life. Whether you have a partner or are single, a sexologist can help you resolve any sexual difficulties you may be facing, including intimacy issues or performance anxiety.
Here are some reasons why you and your partner may want to go to sex therapy:
Sexual dysfunction (e.g., erectile dysfunction, anorgasmia, dyspareunia)
Low sexual desire (also known as ‘hypoactive sexual desire disorder’)
Excessive sexual desire (also known as ‘hypersexuality’)
Questions or confusion about sexual orientation
Struggles with gender dysphoria or sexual identity
Negative body image or low self-esteem affecting sexual confidence and performance
Healing from past sexual abuse or trauma
Navigating sexual health in relation to a chronic illness or disability
Improving communication about sexual needs and desires
Enhancing emotional and physical intimacy
Exploring new ways to connect socially
Addressing the impact of infidelity, pornography, and other sexual behaviors on your relationship
Finding common ground in sexual exploration
Coping with the impact of life transitions on sexual intimacy
Navigating sexual intimacy during pregnancy and postpartum
Addressing anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions impact your sexual health
And much more!
No matter what is going on, whether it is a mental or physical problem, a sexologist at Anchor Therapy can help you overcome your situation. Couples sex therapy or virtual sex therapy can help you get to the core of your intimacy concerns.
What is couples sex therapy?
With sex being viewed as something taboo or even inappropriate, sex therapy may gain a negative rap at first glance. However, it is a professionally-recognized form of mental health counseling to discuss sexual problems as well as negative sexual experiences. This can include an encounter you had on your own or one you and your partner had together. In sex therapy, you and your partner will work together to come to a mutual understanding about the problem at hand.
Human sexuality is extremely complex. For some people, it may be very easy to be open, and express themselves physically. There may be no period of time where sexual exploration occurs because it feels fairly straightforward and clear to them.
On the other hand, many people find it difficult to talk openly about their sexual health and behaviors. They may experience many sexual concerns and challenges. Thoughts or beliefs about sex during adolescence may change the way you think and feel about sex as an adult. For example, maybe you grew up in an extremely religious household where being sexually free was something to be ashamed about. Even a specific situation in adulthood can change the way you feel about sex or your own sexuality.
Working through sexual problems with a partner requires clear communication. Sex therapy, a form of talk therapy, is so successful because it puts communication at the forefront when it comes to addressing your problems to achieve sexual satisfaction. Sex therapy does not involve any sexual contact between an intimacy coach and clients.
What to expect when seeing a sex therapist
Seeing a sex therapist is not unlike seeing any other couples counselor or licensed mental health professional. At Anchor Therapy, we offer in-person intimacy counseling near you in downtown Hoboken, New Jersey. We also conveniently offer sex therapy at home through telehealth therapy sessions. These virtual sessions can be offered to all residents of New Jersey, New York, and Florida. Our virtual therapy sessions are offered via video call or phone call.
You may meet with your sex counselor individually on certain occasions; however, most couples sex therapy sessions will be with you and your partner. The frequency of sex therapy sessions depends on your and your partner’s goals for couples therapy.
As with any type of mental health counseling, you may feel nervous and anxious before your first session. What is your sex therapist going to say? Will you hurt your partner’s feelings by being truthful? How in detail do you really have to go about your sex life?
Many people feel uncomfortable talking about sex and this can especially be true when you are discussing intimacy with a stranger, your sex therapist. With that being said, there is one rule to remember- you do not have to go anywhere in therapy if you are not ready to explore it yet. Sex therapy is a gradual process. It may take a little time to get comfortable with your sex consultant and open up, and that is completely normal.
Our sex therapists take pride in crafting a warm and welcoming therapeutic environment so you can feel comfortable to open up. While you and your sex counselor will dive into your sexual background, beliefs about sex, and your specific sexual concerns, there is no rush to figure it all out in a few sessions.
To guide you along this process, your sex and intimacy therapist may assign you and your partner homework questions. These are practical activities that you are expected to complete in the privacy of your own home.
Some examples of homework in sex therapy may include:
Self-exploration:
Keeping a journal to track your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations related to your sexual experiences.
Communication exercises:
Set aside time to discuss what you want or need sexually in a relationship with your partner. Talk openly about your sexual desires, experiences, and boundaries with zero judgment attached. You will practice active listening too to ensure that your significant other feels heard and understood.
Sensate focus:
This technique is used for couples to enhance intimacy while reducing anxiety. Non-sexual touch exercises are used to build trust without the pressure and expectation of sex. From there, sexual touch may be introduced as one’s comfort level increases.
Exploration of new activities:
If you and your significant other feel like you are in a sexual rut, your sex counselor may suggest trying out different activities or techniques to discover new pathways to pleasure. You and your partner may create a list of new sexual activities to explore and discuss them to see what one another is open to trying out.
What are the concepts of sex therapy?
There are many therapeutic concepts that guide the process of sex counseling along. The concepts that your sexologist uses will depend on the sexual issues that you and your partner are facing.
One concept commonly discussed and used in sex therapy sessions is normalization. Many people experience sexual issues at some point in their life. By normalizing the experience you are going through, it will help reduce the shame and stigma surrounding your given issue. Hopefully, this makes it easier to talk about and seek the help of a professional couples counselor.
Many factors influence sexual health, including biological, psychological, and social factors. Most times, sexual issues are not coming from one cause but, instead, a multitude of different things or triggers.
Sex therapy often involves integrating many therapeutic modalities together to address a client’s needs. For example, this may look like combining psychodynamic therapy where your subconscious is explored and systemic therapy where the couple as a unit is examined.
In sex therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) may be used to address negative thought patterns and behaviors related to sex. This can help you and/or your partner develop healthier attitudes towards sex.
The Gottman Method is a popular type of couples counseling. Gottman couples counseling focuses on increasing intimacy and sexual satisfaction through many different techniques. This method is all about building a strong foundation for your relationship while learning how to manage conflict effectively as a team.
By becoming more emotionally attuned to your significant other’s needs, sexual intimacy can be enhanced. A foundation of trust should be built where both partners feel like it is safe to express their boundaries, needs, desires, and vulnerabilities in relation to sex.
Your Gottman couples therapist will encourage open and honest conversations about sex, from discussing fantasies to voicing concerns or dissatisfaction. Your Gottman therapist may even encourage non-sexual touching to strengthen the general physical connection which can better sexual intimacy.
What are the four principles of modern sex therapy?
Modern sex therapy takes a sex positive approach. None of our sex therapists will shame anyone for their sexual troubles or desires. Given that, modern sex therapists typically follow four principles to inform sessions and ensure that sex counseling is effective.
The first principle of modern sex therapy is to take a holistic approach. Sexual issues can stem from many different factors, so it is important to take all aspects of yourself into consideration. Your sex counselor will work to understand all components of you so you can come up with a comprehensive treatment plan together.
Secondly, individualized treatment is at the forefront of sex therapy. By assessing your history, current issues, and goals, a sexologist can help create a game plan for the future. This ensures that the therapy intervention you are receiving is relevant and effective for your given area of concern.
Our sex therapists use evidence-based practices in their work with clients. That is to say, their interventions are supported by scientific research and clinical evidence. Our sex counselors stay up-to-date on the latest research and developments in the field of sexual health to put methods into practice.
Lastly, mental health care is centered on your needs, values, and goals. You will feel respected and heard by our sex couple therapists so you feel empowered to take an active role in treatment.
How successful is sex therapy?
Sex therapy can help peel back the layers of your sex and emotional life by helping you understand sex and pleasure from a realistic lens. By identifying and addressing the underlying causes of the sexual problems that are popping up in your relationship, you are able to grow and maintain a deeper sexual connection with your significant other.
For some people, attending sex therapy on their own may work for their specific concerns. For example, perhaps you are someone who is trying to overcome a past sexual trauma so you can move forward in a romantic endeavor and be intimate with someone once again. Sexual trauma can interfere with one’s ability to enjoy or even find interest in sex. In this case, a trauma therapist may use a form of solo trauma-based counseling, such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), alongside sex-positive techniques to help you work through your trauma-related sexual dysfunction.
For other people, having their partner present is more beneficial because it gives you all the space to improve your communication skills while enhancing relationship satisfaction. Also, working through your sexual obstacles as a team will bring you closer together.
It is also an option to do both individual counseling as well as couples sex counseling. This way, you are able to tackle your personal concerns and relationship concerns in the appropriate spaces.
Research has shown that about 93% of clients who undergo sex therapy report an improved sex life after sessions. That is quite a high percentage!
Sex therapy is so effective because you are working with a sexologist who can offer specialized knowledge. Your sex therapist has been trained in addressing sexual issues, and they know about the physiological and psychological parts of sexual health. Sexual functioning is complex and they understand that.
Sex positive therapy offers a tailored approach to meet the unique needs of each and every couple. Certain strategies, exercises, and techniques may be applied to your situation with your partner to address a specific challenge you both are facing, such as something physical like pain during intercourse or something emotional like anxiety.
Sexual problems, even if they are physical in nature, often have some sort of mental or emotional component. Some examples of an underlying mental cause may be stress, anxiety, depression, past trauma, relationship conflicts, and so on. Sex therapists will dive deep to get the root cause of your problems instead of sweeping them under the rug.
Overall, the therapeutic relationship you build with your sex coach is supportive and non-judgmental.
At Anchor Therapy, we understand that sexual health is an important part of your well-being. Our compassionate and experienced sex therapists will help you overcome whatever sexual concerns you and/or your partner may be facing.
How Can I Start NYC sex therapy at Anchor Therapy?
WORKING WITH anchor therapy IS EASY
Fill out the contact form below.
Our intake coordinator will respond via email and match you with a sex counselor on our team who suits your needs.
Your journey to a satisfying, fulfilling sex life starts here!
