Marriage Counseling
Finding your partner, falling in love with them, creating a life together, and, eventually, getting married is a beautiful experience, but it is not one that comes without any hardship. Those challenges can have an impact on the overall health of your marriage. From discussing parenting styles for raising your children to financial stress, the ups and downs of life can take a toll. Luckily, marriage therapy can help you and your partner get your relationship back on track.
It is estimated that nearly 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce in the United States. Of course, it is possible that many people picked partners they were not compatible with. But, on the other hand, there are couples who simply grew apart throughout the years. Many marriages can end when both partners do not have the correct tools available to them to mitigate their stress and work on their problems as a team.
With the help of a marriage counselor at Anchor Therapy, couples counseling gives you and your spouse the space to work through your problems in a safe, non-judgmental environment whether you attend sessions in our downtown Hoboken, New Jersey office or at the comfort of your own home through online relationship counseling.
What exactly is marriage counseling?
Marriage counseling, also referred to as couples counseling or marriage therapy, focuses on marriages. Marriage counselors are trained to understand simple and complex relationship problems while also being able to develop feasible solutions to those issues with you in a collaborative therapeutic process.
In relationship counseling, you will have an open and safe space where you can voice your concerns about your marriage and talk about your feelings honestly. As you likely already know, communication is a major component of any relationship’s success and this is especially true in a marriage. A family and marriage therapist will help you fine-tune your communication skills so you and your partner can reach a mutual understanding about your relationship, and decide how you want to move forward together as a couple. Maybe you want to stay together, or maybe you both decide that amicably ending your marriage via divorce is the best option. Whatever is the right choice for you both will be made in marriage counseling, and you will learn how to go through this process in a healthy manner.
How do I know if marriage therapy is right for my spouse and I?
In order to decide if marriage counseling is the right move for you, you must engage in reflection and open and honest communication with yourself and with your spouse. Communication itself may even be something you and your spouse struggle with which is leading you to seek the professional help of a marriage counselor. From frequent misunderstandings to difficulty resolving problems, a couples therapist can give you both the communication tips and techniques you may need.
If you and your partner are constantly facing the same issues time and time again, it may be a sign that something is not working properly in your relationship. In this case, couples therapy can pinpoint the underlying issue so you can work towards a solution. For example, your issues with budgeting may come down to what each of you view as a necessary expense versus a frivolous purchase. A monthly gym membership may be vital to one person’s physical and mental health while their spouse views it as an excessive expense.
As an active partner in your marriage, only you and your spouse know when something is off. Perhaps the reason why you want to seek marriage counseling is simply because you sense some emotional distance in your romantic connection. Couples counseling is a great way to reignite your emotional spark by using exercises so you can reconnect emotionally and mentally, strengthen your overall bond, and reconstruct intimacy.
Even if you think your marriage is in an overall healthy space, marriage counseling can be a form of preventive maintenance. There may be ways you want to more smoothly handle challenges and even fortify your relationship further.
The most important thing to remember is that both partners must be committed to change. A marriage only works when both spouses put in the time and effort required to build a loving, long-lasting partnership. The therapeutic process itself mandates time, effort, and emotional openness to reap the benefits of couples counseling. If one party (or both) are resistant to couples therapy or change generally, it may be harder to see the benefits of couples therapy in action.
If you are still unsure if marriage counseling is right for you or not, you could always speak to a marriage counselor first to see if it is a good fit. An initial assessment with a couples therapist will help you see if couples counseling is an appropriate option for you based on your unique situation and concerns. Based on their expertise, a marriage therapist will be able to provide you with more insight and guidance.
The ultimate decision to attend or not attend marriage counseling should come down to a mutual understanding on behalf of you and your spouse. A shared commitment to improve the quality of your marriage should shine through in whatever decision you are making. Working with a couples therapist to achieve your goals is always a viable option.
When should my spouse and I reach out for support from a marriage therapist in Hoboken, New Jersey?
Even in a healthy relationship, many couples decide to reach out for external support from a licensed marriage counselor before an issue comes to a boil. It is important to remember that you do not have to wait until you and your spouse are in crisis to seek professional help in the form of marriage counseling. Marriage therapy can be used at any stage of your marriage, whether you just tied the knot or you are celebrating your 20 year anniversary soon.
The main objective of couples counseling is to give you and your spouse the tools needed to improve communication, and manage your mental health and other aspects of your marriage. From premarital counseling and beyond, a couples counselor will put you on a path towards a healthy relationship where both partners’ needs are being met.
Before conflict arises and to plan for your future, many couples seek marriage counseling proactively. Going to therapy does not always require a mental health disorder or a pressing, extremely overwhelming issue. It could be something as simple as deciding how to get on the same page with each other’s parenting styles.
You can view marriage counseling as an active form of problem-solving. Marriage and family counseling is effective. In fact, according to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, over 98 percent of clients who sought out help from a licensed professional reported their services as good or excellent. Additionally, roughly 90 percent of clients report an improvement in their emotional health following marriage counseling.
The results of marriage counseling are long-lasting, providing relationship relief for a lifetime.
What are some common reasons why couples seek married couples therapy?
Every relationship is unique, therefore the challenges you face will not be exactly the same as other couples who are seeking marriage counseling. However, there are often common themes as to why some couples seek couples counseling for their marriage.
Marriage counselors can help couples with the following concerns:
Communication issues
General conflict resolution
Trust and infidelity
Intimacy and sexuality
Parenting styles
Family dynamics
Emotional and mental health issues (e.g., a partner struggling with anxiety, depression, etc.)
Lack of connection
Loss and grief
Preventive maintenance
Financial disputes
Identifying and resolving issues that affect the relationship
Finding a healthy way to end the marriage
Seeking marriage therapy is a step in the right direction if your marriage is struggling or if you want to have preventive measures in place for when conflict arises and life gets in the way. The act of meeting with a marriage counselor shows a commitment on behalf of both you and your spouse to address the pains of your relationship while improving the quality of your marriage at the same time so everyone’s needs are being met and you both feel fulfilled.
A highly-trained marriage counselor will be able to explore your issues with you both as a couple while pinpointing underlying patterns so you can foster positive change within your marriage dynamic.
Who should attend marriage counseling?
Marriage counseling is beneficial for all marriages and relationships. Generally speaking, there are not many different therapeutic techniques used in traditional couples counseling versus marriage counseling. Anyone can seek therapy even if you are not in a relationship- perhaps you want to work on behavioral patterns you noticed that you have when you are in a romantic connection.
Here are some of the following populations of people who can benefit from couples therapy:
Straight couples
Engaged couples
Couples who are dating
Couples in open relationships
Couples in long-distance relationships
Couples who have separated
As mentioned previously, there does not have to be a specific reason as to why you are seeking the help of a relationship therapist. Any issue you and your partner can resolve on your own is a good reason to seek professional support. Hearing from an objective, unbiased perspective is sometimes all you need to quickly smooth out that bump in the road.
What types of marriage counseling are offered at Anchor Therapy?
As individual counseling works for children, teens, adults, and senior citizens, marriage counseling works similarly in that there are different approaches and techniques that are used in mental health counseling sessions. When you learn about the different types of couples counseling offered by our marriage therapists here at Anchor Therapy, you can find what the right fit is for you and your spouse.
First and foremost, the Gottman Method is one of the most famous, well-documented forms of couples counseling, and it was actually created by married psychologists, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman. This form of marriage counseling focuses on harmful behaviors that can harm a relationship over time. Some of these damaging behaviors include criticism, stonewalling, and contempt.
In Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, simply referred to as SFBT, couples find solutions to specific issues they may be facing. SFBT is highly effective at helping couples reach their goals within the relationship by highlighting their strengths and their combined potential for positive change. For instance, for a couple who cannot seem to find common ground and find themselves arguing a lot recently, a SFBT therapist may highlight some positive interactions they had together recently while discussing a time they communicated properly and what strengths were exhibited in that instance.
Lastly, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, has become an effective form of couples counseling. It can be especially useful when dealing with communication concerns and general conflict resolution. In CBT, you and your spouse will learn to pinpoint and challenge negative thoughts you are both having that are contributing to your marriage’s distress. From there, you can change behaviors in your relationship that are bringing unnecessary space between you and your partner.
Your CBT couples counselor will address any unrealistic standards or beliefs you and your spouse have that may end in disappointment or feelings of inadequacy. Your CBT therapist will also encourage positive interactions between you and your spouse, such as engaging in activities that you enjoy doing together and openly expressing affection.
There is no one ‘best’ type of marriage counseling. The best form of marriage therapy is the one that resonates the most with you and your spouse. It is all based on your personal preferences and goals as well as the way you connect with your marriage counselor.
Your marriage does not have to exist “on auto-pilot mode.” You and your partner both deserve to be heard. Both of your needs deserve to be met. Marriage is like anything else worthwhile- it requires work, communication, dedication, and attention. Marriage counseling can help you endure your struggles together as a team and, while marriage therapy may not be easy, it is worth the journey.
How Can I Start marriage counseling at Anchor Therapy?
WORKING WITH anchor therapy IS EASY
Fill out the contact form below.
An Intake Coordinator will respond to your inquiry, and match you with a marriage counselor on our team who suits your needs.
Feel confident as you take the next step in repairing and strengthening your marriage!
