April 10, 2024

Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist

Courtney Glashow

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team.

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk.

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families

December 14, 2022

toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling

Courtney Glashow

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

September 14, 2022

Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling

Courtney Glashow

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right

July 13, 2022

control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling

Courtney Glashow

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

December 8, 2021

couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling

Courtney Glashow

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

11 Self-Care Tips For Teachers

11 Self-Care Tips For Teachers

With the end of summer, comes the beginning of a new school year. a lot of teachers have a hard time transitioning back into school mode along with their students. It’s always a big change to go from a carefree summer to a stressful school year. There are so many different stressors that teachers experience throughout the school year. It’s extra important that they schedule in time for self-care throughout the school year. The best time to start a new self-care habit is at the beginning of a new routine. So it’s most helpful to start now.

What You Need To Know About Work-Related Anxiety

What You Need To Know About Work-Related Anxiety

A lot of adults have a hard time turning off their work stress outside of working hours. This leads most people to feel anxious and find themselves up all night worrying. A lot of young professionals experience having a hard time creating a healthy work-life balance. Usually the stress of their job is staying with them outside of working hours and seeping into their daily life. They find it hard to fall asleep, enjoy themselves and/or relax when they are off the clock. This usually leads to burnout.

9 Tips To Getting Better Sleep

9 Tips To Getting Better Sleep

I talk to my clients often about their sleeping habits in my Hoboken psychotherapy practice. Getting a good night’s sleep is a big part of our overall health. It is recommended that adults get 7-9 hours of sleep on average. Children, teens, and senior adults should be ideally getting more hours of sleep. Before we can work on feeling less anxious, or less depressed, we need to make sure our basic needs are met. This includes getting enough sleep so that you can be your best self. Some clients find it hard to fall asleep or stay asleep- especially if they’re feeling anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed. Below are some tips I give my clients to help them sleep better.

How Counseling Can Help Your Career

How Counseling Can Help Your Career

Career counseling is something that you can get from seeing a psychotherapist. Usually people who need help or guidance with their career path will turn to a business coach or a career coach. While a coach can definitely be helpful, they will not be able to sort through the emotional side of your decision making. They are not licensed professionals who can help decrease your stress during this process. As psychotherapists, we are trained to help our clients figure out not only their future goals but the best way that will get them there based on where they’re at currently. That usually looks different for each person.

5 Ways To Calm Your Anxiety

5 Ways To Calm Your Anxiety

As a psychotherapist in downtown Hoboken, NJ I see a lot of clients who experience anxiety. I help kids, teens, young adults (20’s and 30’s year olds), and parents with anxious feelings. Anxiety can present in different ways including agitation, nervousness, feeling on edge, obsessive/repeated thoughts, rapid speech, and/or trouble relaxing. The most common thing my clients want to know is how to relax. While I specialize in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) I can also help clients feel physically more relaxed as they work on decreasing their overall anxiety. Below are 5 different ways you can try to relax and find calmness.