Your 45-minute weekly session with your licensed mental health counselor is coming to an end, but your feelings are not magically going to go away. In fact, you feel horrible after chatting with your therapist. Now, you feel frustrated and maybe worse than before you started mental health counseling. After all, therapy is supposed to make you feel better, right?
But, do not worry! It is normal to feel bad after your counseling session, especially if you are in the beginning stages of your therapeutic journey of self-improvement. Although it may sound counterintuitive, feeling bad after therapy can actually be a good sign as it shows that you are really putting the work into your emotional health, dealing with difficult emotions and discussing past traumas.
Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with mental health therapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, couples, and families with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, life transitions, and more. Anchor Therapy is accepting new clients and is now providing in-person sessions and teletherapy sessions to residents of New Jersey, New York, and Florida.
The Beginning Stages of Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey
When you first start therapy, you may not know what to expect in counseling. For more guidance on this, check out our informative article with Hoboken Girl on “Anchor Therapy: 6 Helpful Tips on How to Prepare for Your First Session.”
There are a few parts of the therapeutic process that can be embarrassing and painful. The first step of the process is admitting that you need professional counseling and/or that you can benefit from therapy in some way. For many people, this is a hard thing to recognize. Past that, you may realize that you can benefit from therapy, but it can be hard to admit it to other people and reach out for help.
After this, the mental health treatment starts. When you are in your therapy sessions, you are exploring painful memories and accessing uncomfortable, sometimes negative emotions. When you begin to work on your issues, it is normal to feel overwhelmed and like you are constantly behind the eight ball. You may want to dive right into your issues and fix them overnight, but therapy is a commitment and progress does not occur in the blink of an eye.
Rather than swiftly tackling your issues one-by-one, therapy can be a non-linear path. Together, you and your therapist discover new problems, the root of your issues, and different solutions. In these moments, you may feel like you are drowning and your issues may never come to an end, but it is all a part of the journey.
The good news is that this is a hard stage of therapy that you will get through eventually. The difficult emotions do not last forever. Just remember that this is the beginning of a journey that will lead you to the best version of yourself.
What should I expect by attending mental health counseling sessions near me?
The first thing you should know about therapy is that everyone’s therapy journey is different, and you should not compare your mental health journey to anyone else’s. The length of time that you are in counseling depends on your goals.
Perhaps you are going through a difficult life transition, like moving, and you need the help of a stress therapist for just a few months while you navigate this newfound problem. If this sounds like a situation you are going through, read our blog “How to Cope with Moving Stress.” On the other hand, you may be someone who has struggled with depression for years and, now, you are finally making the decision to seek the depression counseling that you deserve. Read our blog “4 Ways to Naturally Treat Depression” for more information. Whether you are doing in-person therapy or meeting a counselor virtually, psychotherapy is not done once and then all of your issues magically go away. If you are meeting a teletherapist, our blog “5 Common Stereotypes You Should Know About Online Therapists” is a helpful read.
In your earlier sessions, especially your initial intake session, your licensed therapist will ask you a lot of questions about you, your history, your mental health needs, and your mental health treatment goals. These early conversations with your therapist may seem repetitive but they help your mental health counselor pinpoint specific themes or patterns in your life that can be contributing to your mental health concerns.
Topics that can come up in counseling include:
Habits
Work or school
Relationships
Hobbies
Values
You can expect difficult emotions to arise in counseling. Although it may be distressing at first, you will see growth in the way you think, feel, and respond to these feelings as you progress in your therapy sessions. It is likely that this growth will enhance your quality of life by reducing the severity of your emotional health symptoms and improve daily functioning.
Why does therapy make me feel bad sometimes?
Whenever you discuss your stressors, mental health symptoms, and/or traumatic memories can be understandably hard.
Therapy can be especially difficult if:
You are not used to talking about your emotions
You are new to mental health counseling
You are discussing a triggering memory or topic, such as childhood trauma (If you struggle with childhood trauma, check out our blog “How To Heal Childhood Trauma As An Adult”)
You are talking about topics that you have been avoiding or suppressing
Simply opening up can be exhausting and, if you have been through counseling, you know this to be true. Releasing information can take just as much or even more energy than storing them or suppressing their related feelings. Being emotionally vulnerable is analogous to lifting a heavy weight at the gym. Doing the act is strenuous and difficult but, afterwards, you feel grateful that you did it. You can take comfort in knowing that this is something your future self will thank you for.
In the beginning stages of your therapy journey, you may not have all of the coping skills needed to help you deal with your difficult emotions. Coping skills are something that you learn over time to help you manage your feelings without turning towards unhealthy habits, such as engaging in alcohol and drug abuse.
While different coping skills work for different people, here are some common coping techniques:
Mindful breathing
Meditation (Read “How Meditation Can Lead to Stress Reduction” for more information)
Physical movement (Check out our blog “5 Ways Exercise Benefits Your Mental Health”)
Journaling
Partaking in self-care activities (Check out our blog “The 8 Forms of Self-Care & How You Can Practice Them” for some guidance)
If you are unsure of what coping skill may work best for you, seeking the help of a professional therapist can help. Your therapist can walk you through different coping techniques until you find the one that best suits your needs and is effective.
Generally, it takes 6 to 12 therapy sessions before you can start seeing progress with your mental and emotional health. This does not mean that all of your problems will be erased by your twelfth session, but you will begin to feel better.
How can I talk about my difficulty coping after therapy sessions with my counselor?
Talking about your so-called “therapy hangover” with your therapist is a great idea! It can be helpful for your therapist to know how you are feeling after sessions so he or she knows how to structure your time together in a way that is conducive to your long-term emotional growth and your present productivity levels.
When you dig deeper into why you feel drained after therapy, some questions may arise. Are you worried that your therapist is or will judge you? Are you ashamed of what you are talking about? Do you feel like you are not in a safe space? Is there something your counselor can do more of throughout the session so you feel validated?
When your therapist knows your inner feelings, you give them the space to actually help in a productive way so you can feel okay moving on with your day after a therapy session. Your counselor can suggest tools or resources to help you manage your post-therapy feelings. Additionally, you and your counselor can evaluate if you need to adjust the timeline of your therapeutic work.
And, of course, if you are having troubled thoughts or intense emotions in between therapy sessions, do not hesitate to contact your licensed behavioral health counselor or an emergency mental health service.
When you discuss this issue with your therapist, do not be afraid to be blunt. Your therapist’s feelings will not get hurt and, in fact, this insight will help them help you! It is part of your counselor’s job to effectively address your concerns.
Here are some ways you can start the “therapy hangover” conversation with your behavioral therapist:
“Is it normal that sometimes I feel really down after our sessions together?”
“Some of these conversations are really triggering for me and I do not know how to navigate it. What steps can I take to feel better about what we are discussing?”
“I am having a hard time coping with my emotions after our therapy sessions.”
While you should not expect your “therapy hangover” to go away right after your next session together, you should be mindful of how long or if this change is occurring at all. If nothing changes or if your counselor does not know how to support your needs, it may be time to move onto a different therapist who can better support you.
Your counselor may not be right for you if:
You feel judged or invalidated by your therapist
You do not see any improvement in your mental health after months of sessions
You do not feel safe opening up to your counselor
You feel pressure to tell your therapist what you think they want to hear, even if it is not the truth
You feel like you have to ‘teach’ your situation to your therapist or over-explain your circumstances
Every mental health professional has their own therapeutic technique, including style and methodology. These differences, such as how your therapist expresses compassion or guides the conversation, can affect your comfort level with them.
In a few cases, you may not feel great after counseling because you and your counselor are not a good fit. If your communication styles are not on the same level, you may feel belittled or even like your feelings are not valid. Other times, you may be intimidated by your counselor or like your therapist’s personality is unpleasant. Obviously, this is not what your counselor intended but the match-up may just not be correct and that is okay. This brings you one step closer to finding a counselor who fits your needs!
Experiencing The Temporary Lows of Therapy
Experiencing the lows of therapy is normal, but it is definitely not ideal. However, you should take comfort in knowing that these feelings are exactly that- temporary feelings. They do not last forever. You can reach out to your mental health counselor and see if they have any feedback on how to move forward so the so-called ‘therapy hangover’ does not impede on the success of your emotional health journey. Your licensed psychotherapist will offer compassion and offer helpful insights, such as helpful coping skills.
Your counselor will respond to you in a supportive way. Your feelings are normal, and your counselor will express that to you. There will be times after your therapy sessions where you may have a hard time working through your discomfort. Perhaps you turn to journaling to organize your feelings. Or maybe you need to move your body a little bit every day to put your mind in a better place.
At Anchor Therapy, our fully-licensed therapists will walk you through each step of the therapeutic process so you never feel isolated and you know how to properly deal with your post-therapy emotions. We offer in-person counseling at our downtown Hoboken, New Jersey office. For those who prefer online therapy, we offer virtual counseling sessions as well with our telehealth therapists. We offer virtual counseling to residents of New York, Florida, and New Jersey, including Bergen County, Jersey City, and Montclair. When you attend counseling at Anchor Therapy, you do not have to worry about the discomfort of a ‘therapy hangover’ as you move forward towards the best version of yourself.
Victoria Scala
is the Social Media Manager and Intake Coordinator at Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey. She is a graduate of the Honors College of Rutgers University-Newark. In her roles, Victoria is committed to managing the office’s social media presence and prioritizing clients' needs.
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