hudson county therapist

Grieving A Life That Never Was

Grieving A Life That Never Was

When we think of grief, we normally associate it with the loss of a loved one, like a family member or close friend. However, grief can come in many forms, such as losing something that you never had. Perhaps your life did not turn out the way you imagine it would. Maybe your career did not turn out the way you imagined. Or maybe your dream partner did not turn out how you thought they would. When your dream disappears, you may experience a loss.

Grieving a life that could have been may feel strange. Does it mean that you are feeling sorry for yourself? Are you dishonoring the life you have now by doing so? While there are many complexities of grieving the loss of a life you wanted, it deserves emotional processing too. After all, it is still a considerable loss.

3 Ways to Relieve Sleep Anxiety

3 Ways to Relieve Sleep Anxiety

If you have sleep anxiety, you know how daunting bedtime can be. The constant tossing and turning. Feeling like you have a million things on your mind. Remembering those pesky tasks that you forgot to do throughout the day. No matter what you do, you can never seem to get comfortable and fully shut your mind off. 

Anxiety can help the body stay alert and focused, but there are situations where you have an anxious reaction to a seemingly normal life event, like sleeping. Anxiety with racing thoughts and physical symptoms can make it difficult to sleep. Anxiety in and of itself is a temporary experience but consistent anxiety symptoms can fully develop into an anxiety disorder. Luckily, you can learn about the causes of your nighttime anxiety and techniques on how to lessen your anxiety at night by working with a sleep therapist at Anchor Therapy

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

6 Ways to Get Rid of Homesickness

6 Ways to Get Rid of Homesickness

When you are away from home and in a new environment, you may experience homesickness, also known as a feeling of emotional distress. You may have moved temporarily or permanently, such as being a college student, working in the military, or being a migrant or refugee. According to the BBC, up to 70 percent of people experience homesickness at one point in time.

Feeling homesick is common following a major life transition, like graduating high school and beginning your college career. Everyone reacts differently to homesickness, but some common signs and symptoms can include anxiety, depression, and physical symptoms. To learn more about your physical symptoms, check out our previous blog “3 Ways to Manage Your Physical Anxiety Symptoms.” To overcome your homesickness, it is important to maintain a connection to your home while also taking steps to modify your current setting so it fits your needs. For more information, keep reading along!

5 Things To Do When You Don’t Know What To Say In Therapy

5 Things To Do When You Don’t Know What To Say In Therapy

The process of finding a therapist who is a good fit for you is difficult. If you want in-person sessions, is the counselor close to you? If you travel a lot, can your therapist offer online mental health counseling sessions? Perhaps you feel more comfortable speaking to a male therapist to discuss men’s health issues. Maybe you want a female therapist who understands the difficulty of infertility

Once you find a therapist, it may temporarily feel like a weight is lifted off of your shoulders but, then, your first session comes around and you feel like you have nothing to say. You feel like you are ready to work on yourself, but you find yourself clamming up and getting nervous once you are face-to-face with a stranger. All of a sudden, the process may seem very overwhelming to you. If you have felt this way at some point during therapy, you are not alone! This is a common phenomenon known as “therapy block” or “therapy resistance.” For more information on how to fix this issue, keep reading!

5 Different Types Of Play Therapy And How They Can Help Your Child

5 Different Types Of Play Therapy And How They Can Help Your Child

Finding the right therapy that works for your child or teen can be tricky. Every child is unique and may have different goals, attention spans, and levels of maturity. Children may complain about going to therapy because they may not fully understand how it can help them - or they may not realize that they need help at all. As their parent, all you want to do is get your child the help they need. Kids like to engage in things that entertain them. Children can have short attention spans and it can be hard to keep them focused. Introversion and shyness is another thing that many adolescents may struggle with. 

Therapy can help with things like developing coping skills, communication tactics, realistic life goals, and helping you to achieve the best version of yourself. When a child is going through a negative feeling, experience, and/or mindset they may not even fully understand that they’re being negatively affected. Therapy can help your child in many different ways.

Is It Normal To Feel Worse After A Therapy Session?

Is It Normal To Feel Worse After A Therapy Session?

Your 45-minute weekly session with your licensed mental health counselor is coming to an end, but your feelings are not magically going to go away. In fact, you feel horrible after chatting with your therapist. Now, you feel frustrated and maybe worse than before you started mental health counseling. After all, therapy is supposed to make you feel better, right?

But, do not worry! It is normal to feel bad after your counseling session, especially if you are in the beginning stages of your therapeutic journey of self-improvement. Although it may sound counterintuitive, feeling bad after therapy can actually be a good sign as it shows that you are really putting the work into your emotional health, dealing with difficult emotions and discussing past traumas

4 Ways to Cope with the Sunday Scaries

4 Ways to Cope with the Sunday Scaries

We have all felt it at one point or another. Maybe you are catching up on your favorite reality show on a Sunday night and all of a sudden, the Sunday Scaries creep in. Or maybe you are out with your friends having a ‘Sunday Funday’ when you start to feel the impending doom of your reality- tomorrow is Monday and you will return back to your regularly scheduled program. One moment you can be laughing and joking with your loved ones and, the next second, you are intensely focused on your never-ending to-do list for the upcoming week.

You may become consumed with stressful thoughts, from a not-so-ideal work environment to an upcoming exam. As you may have guessed, experiencing these high levels of stress and anxiety right when you are about to wrap your time off is not healthy.

Whether you call it the Sunday Scaries, the Sunday Blues, or the Dread, they all mean the same thing and they are a very real feeling everyone has experienced. While there is no universal cure for the Sunday Dread, there are some ways to cope.

How to Cope with Life Transitions in Your 20s

How to Cope with Life Transitions in Your 20s

While many of us know about the popular term “mid-life crisis”, the term “quarter-life crisis” may not come to mind, but it is just as real as a phenomenon. In fact, it may even be a rite of passage to feel lost in your 20s. It is a high-stress time in your life where more things are changing than staying the same. Whether you are graduating college and getting your first ‘real-world’ job or getting married to the love of your life, this decade can be defined by its many life transitions.

Many people would agree that your 20s is a time of self-exploration. You are figuring out your likes and dislikes, who you are, where your professional interests lie, what you are looking for in a romantic partner, and so much more! All of this inner discovery can easily leave you feeling lost and confused. You may find yourself comparing your life to that of your friends, feeling like you are behind in life in comparison to your peers. If you find yourself feeling like this, please take comfort in the fact that you are not alone.

3 Steps to Survive Gaslighting

3 Steps to Survive Gaslighting

When someone is gaslighting you, you question everything. Nothing means anything. The reality you thought you once knew seemingly does not exist anymore. Your world is turned upside down. 

Many young adults and teens have become much more open with their mental health, resulting in the popularity of the term ‘gaslighting.’ Simply put, gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse. Greater awareness of gaslighting is an amazing thing since people know about this type of emotional abuse and can avoid potentially abusive and unhealthy relationships. 

However, before you accuse someone of gaslighting you, it is important to know all of the information so you can look for and pinpoint real signs of gaslighting.

Let us explore the true meaning of gaslighting and how to survive this form of emotional abuse…

4 Ways to Manage Your Relationship Anxiety

4 Ways to Manage Your Relationship Anxiety

Relationship anxiety can simply be defined as feelings of insecurity, worry, and doubt about your relationship, making you question your compatibility and future with your partner. Contrary to what you might believe, it is normal to have some level of anxiety about your relationship. You may question your significant other’s past partner or question if your long-term goals match up. But, if your relationship anxiety is beginning to cause severe issues for you, it is a sign that something is off.

Relationship anxiety can become an issue when it interferes with the growth of your relationship or even impacts other areas of your life, such as not being able to concentrate at the office. To help with this, read our blog “3 Ways to Achieve Work-Life Balance.” 

When you are feeling insecure in your relationship, you may feel easily stressed. In other cases, you may have a hard time deciphering your emotions. This inability to process your feelings can have problematic results, like separation anxiety or even burnout for your relationship.

Is There A Way To Overcome Claustrophobia?

Is There A Way To Overcome Claustrophobia?

Claustrophobia is a situational phobia that is caused by an intense and irrational fear of tight or crowded spaces. This fear of confined spaces can become an issue when the phobia interferes with your ability to function in daily life whether that be at work, school, or other activities. 

If we really wanted to, we could rationalize many fears. For example, you may have a fear of flying, also known as aerophobia, due to losing a loved one in a plane crash. This grief may have caused second-hand trauma which left you feeling extremely scared. If this is something you struggle with, check out our past blog “8 Tips To Overcome Flight Anxiety.”

We all try to avoid things or places that make us feel uncomfortable, but there is a distinct difference between a fear and a phobia. A phobia is an intense and irrational fear toward a thing(s) or situation(s). With phobias, it is also important to note that the fear you are experiencing does not match the actual danger presented in the feared situation or object.

When your phobia interferes with your ability to complete basic daily tasks, it is highly recommended that you seek the help of a phobia specialist. Phobias can negatively impact your life, straining your relationships and lowering your self-esteem

Career Counseling: Can A Therapist Help Me Find The Right Job?

Career Counseling: Can A Therapist Help Me Find The Right Job?

When you are on the hunt for a job, you likely have a lot of thoughts racing through your mind. Maybe you want to find a job that has the same values that you hold. Perhaps you care more about a healthy work-life balance. Whatever your goals are, you probably are not adding “get a therapist” to the never-ending to-do list, but a career counselor can help you with job hunting.

That is to say, you can find solace in an unlikely place during your career search- a therapist’s office. If you are unsure about your professional path, working with a certified career coach can help you outline the best career choices for you according to your personality, interests, and more.

How Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Decreases Anxiety

How Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) Decreases Anxiety

Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, often simply referred to as REBT, is a form of psychotherapy that can help you to identify self-defeating thoughts and emotions. From there, you are able to challenge the unreasonable and unproductive feelings in order to replace them with more healthier and fruitful beliefs. 

REBT was created in the mid-1950s by a psychologist named Albert Ellis. This form of psychotherapy focuses on the present moment so you can understand how any unhealthy thoughts and beliefs you hold can trigger emotional distress. As a result of this emotional distress, unhealthy actions and behaviors can occur which can interfere with your goals and overall life.

The REBT approach will encourage you to dispute your irrational thinking so you can develop healthy emotional self-regulation skills to manage your anxiety