*Spoilers about seasons 1 & 2 of Netflix’s show Firefly Lane ahead!*
Firefly Lane is a powerful and heartwarming story of two women who formed an unbreakable bond as teenagers, and stayed by each other's side for nearly three decades. Starring Sarah Chalke as Kate Mularkey and Katherine Heigl as Tully Hart, the two go through good and bad times, while battling their own issues.
In the summer of 1974, Tully Hart moved into a beautiful home on Firefly Lane. Directly across the street from her lived Kate Mularkey and her family. Kate is thrilled when Tully moves in, as she continuously daydreams about being her friend. On the surface, they are as opposite as two people could be. Tully is mysterious, smart, popular and beautiful, while Kate is strange, quiet, and nerdy. They encounter each other a few times outside, where Kate attempts to be Tully's friend, but Tully is closed off.
One night, Tully tells Kate a secret while she is upset and feeling vulnerable. Kate promises to never tell Tully's secret, and they made a pact to remain best friends forever. By the end of summer, Tully and Kate were inseparable.
From the beginning, Tully is desperate to prove her worth to the world. Abandoned by her mother at an early age, she searches for unconditional love. She looks to men to fill the void by drinking and having one night stands. As the 90’s approaches, Tully is captivated by the world of television news, as this has been her lifelong dream. She will follow her own blind ambition to New York and around the country, ultimately finding fame and success… and loneliness.
Kate knows early on that her life will be nothing special. In college, she pretends to be driven by success, but all she wants is to fall in love, have children and live an ordinary life. Although, when she does become a wife and mother, it changes her and makes her question who she is and what she once wanted.
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Tully's Childhood With Her Grandmother
Cloud, played by Beau Garrett, is Tully's Mother. When Tully was a toddler, she witnessed her mother being pulled out of their house by police officers. Cloud was arrested for drug possession and Tully was left alone, in fear. Tully's grandmother raised Tully until she was around 15 years old when one day Cloud appeared at their home. Cloud insisted Tully come live with her in her new home at Firefly Lane.
As traumatic as it was for Tully to see her mother being ripped away from her at such a young age, she remains resilient. As Tully forms a new life on Firefly Lane, she tells everyone her mother Cloud has cancer. Tully feels embarrassed and ashamed of her mother.
Although she is lying to protect herself and her mother, Kate and her family insist Tully introduce them to her mother. Kate's mother and Kate meet Cloud. Kate expresses her anger towards Tully about lying about her mother's cancer. Eventually, Kate understands, and they get over it.
Cloud engages in substance use throughout the show. Every time Cloud is shown, she is either passed out or extremely intoxicated. Cloud is physically there, yet absent to Tully. As Tully grew older, she started to tell people Cloud had passed away when Tully was a teenager. (Check out our blog, “5 Ways to Help Someone Battling Addiction & Substance Abuse Issues”)
Cloud was in jail from when Tully was a toddler until she was 15 years old. The show doesn't dive into that part of Tully's childhood, but she had a supportive grandmother that raised her while her mother was away. When Tully was reunited with her mother, she was upset. After all of those years, she started to resent her mom. It only became worse when they were living in their new home together. Tully would avoid going home, shut down all conversations regarding her mother, and even lie about her.
Have You Ever Found Yourself In A Similar Situation As Tully?
Many children grow up in homes where their parents engage in substance use. A substance use disorder is characterized by recurrent use of alcohol or drugs that results in problems such as being unable to control use of the substance.
Someone Battling Substance Use May…
Fail to meet work, home, or school obligations
Have poor health
Spend an increased amount of time getting, using, or recovering from the effects of using the substance
Encounter relationship difficulties
Isolate themselves from family members and friends
Experience new health issues
Changes in sleep
Fatigue
Weight loss or gain
Cognition problems
Experience changes in mood or behavior
Face financial problems
So, What Do You Do?
As scary as it is to experience watching your loved one go through something like this, you must understand it may feel difficult for them to reach out for help. It is important to remind them that they are not alone in their struggles and they have a strong support team ready to help them.
Unfortunately, addiction doesn't only affect the individual, but can impact the people around them. Understanding addiction is difficult, especially treatment options. It can feel overwhelming, tiring and sad at times, but any step towards recovery is a positive step.
Some Signs Of Alcohol Addiction Include:
Drinking alone
Secretly drinking
Finding excuses for one's drinking patterns
Temporarily blackouts
Having issues in relationships
Some Signs Of Drug Addiction Include:
Bloodshot eyes
Slurred speech, shakes, and tremors
Changes in one's behavior
Financial issues
Unexpected changes in friends and hobbies
If you believe you or a loved one is struggling with substance use, do not hesitate to reach out for help.
Tully Is Praised For Her Natural Beauty & Popularity, Yet She Believes It’s A Curse..
Tully believes her natural beauty and looks led her to experience something so horrible. It was a late summer night when Tully decided to hangout and attend a party with an upperclassmen named Pat. At the time, Tully was a freshman and Pat was a senior.
Kate and Tully are hanging out outside when Pat comes over to talk to Tully. Ignoring Kate, Pat invites Tully to a party later and Tully agrees to go. Later that day they go and Pat offers Tully alcohol in which she drinks. After a few drinks, Tully is slurring her words, stumbling around and Pat notices this, and helps her catch her balance. He suggests they go somewhere quieter.
They walk to the woods and sit down. They start to kiss when Tully pulls away and clearly states she doesn't feel good and wants to stop. After many times of her asking him to stop, he doesn't. Tully lays there in shock while she is sexually assaulted. When it's over, Tully lays there frozen and Pats starts to bombard her with questions and erratic thoughts. He says “What, what's wrong with you?”, “You kissed me, you wanted it”, “You can't just lay there and do nothing”. After he realizes that she isn't speaking back to him, he walks away saying he is going back to the party.
Tully, in shock and crying, walks home. She runs into Kate outside, and cries to her trying to explain what happened. Tully claims it's her fault for going, her fault for drinking, her fault for kissing him, and so on. Kate reassures her that it wasn't her fault, and Pat needs to be punished.
Unfortunately, this is a typical response to sexual assault. Someone who experiences a traumatic incident like this might feel shame, self blame, and doubt.
Sexual Assault & Lingering Trauma
Ignoring trauma and leaving it untreated can be extremely harmful. Although, it can be very difficult to discuss trauma, face it, or understand it. Luckily, there are many trained professionals, such as trauma therapists, PTSD specialists, anxiety therapists and many more to help you overcome your trauma.
Tully Buries Her Trauma For Years
Tully’s trauma begins with her mothers abandonment at a young age. While burying any thought or care for her mother, she represses the memories, and ultimately her entire presence. It's easier to ignore and pretend her mother is not there, instead of engaging and facing her. She behaves similarly after the incident with Pat. She represses it and completely buries the memory. Although, when you ignore your trauma, it will only get worse.
Have You Ever Had A Flashback?
A flashback is a vivid experience in which you relive some aspects of a traumatic event, or feel as if it is happening right now. Flashbacks are very common for people who have experienced something traumatic, especially if they leave it untreated. Throughout the show, Tully finds herself having many flashbacks. Flashbacks can either happen randomly, appear as a physical/emotional warning, or if your body/mind feels triggered.
All About Tully’s Flashbacks
Tully has many flashbacks about the night of her and Pat in the woods. Flashbacks are a common symptom of PTSD. During her flashbacks, you can see what she's seeing in her mind and her physical and emotional response after the flashback. After each flashback, Tully seems distressed and concerned, yet continues to pretend nothing ever happened.
What Happens If You Don’t Address Trauma?
Many people repress their trauma, by pretending it didn't happen and never thinking about it again, like Tully. Leaving trauma untreated can place you at risk for developing PTSD, or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
What Is PTSD?
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, also known as PTSD, is when your psychological symptoms don't ease up or become worse, and you may find that you are unable to move on from the traumatic event after a long period of time.
How Do I Know If I Am Experiencing PTSD?
You may…
Feel irritable or angry
Have trouble sleeping
Struggle concentrating
Engage in self-destructive behavior
Always be on guard for danger
Be easily startled or frightened
Remain in shock
Be unable to make sense of what happened
Have difficulty processing emotions
Have flashbacks of the traumatic event
How Do I Manage My PTSD?
PTSD can be very scary, but with the help and support from trained professionals, you can heal from your trauma. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a popular and common form of therapy for people battling PTSD.
What Is CBT?
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is an evidence-based treatment which focuses on identifying, understanding, and changing thinking and behavior patterns. The goal of CBT is for the client to develop coping skills so that they can control these negative thoughts and feelings.
If you are interested in learning more about CBT for trauma, read our blog “Everything You Need to Know About CBT for PTSD.”
Tully Faces Childhood Trauma That Follows Her To Adulthood…
Tully's early abandonment left her hopeless and confused. At such a young age, it can be difficult or impossible to identify you are going through a traumatic experience. In one's teenage years, they may start to recall the trauma and this is a good time to reach out for help or support. Leaving these events unrecognized, may lead to the more severe effects appearing in adulthood.
Ways That Trauma Can Follow You:
Experiencing feelings of shame and guilt
Feeling disconnected
Unable to connect with others
Trouble controlling emotions
Heightened anxiety, depression or anger
How Did Childhood Trauma Affect Tully?
As Tully grows older, she has trouble expressing emotions, being vulnerable, trusting others, and forming intimate relationships. These are all typical responses to trauma, but don't worry, with a little help and support, you can easily overcome these obstacles.
Check out "How Childhood Trauma Can Impact You As An Adult" for more information.
How is Tully Battling An Internal War?
Tully questions her success, career, and family, many times throughout the show. She tells Kate she “won” because she has a husband and a family, while Tully is alone. She feels lonely and disregards her success, even though it's what she always wanted. Tully feels empty, scared and sad, with no family or support.
Tully’s childhood and unprocessed trauma has left her confused and hopeless. She wants to be in a relationship, yet can't let her guard down with men. Every since her mother abandoned her and the sexual assault, she has been eager to gain her power back. Without understanding the true effects and meaning behind her trauma, Tully continues to feel frustrated and unsatisfied in her life.
The Way Tully Perceives & Acts With Men
Tully meets a man named Max at the bar. They have a one night stand, and Tully makes it very clear to Max that's the most he will get. Although they continue to hang out, and according to Tully, Max is strictly a “booty call”. Max expresses his interest in Tully, claiming he has only slept with a few women and she is special to him. Tully becomes defensive and shuts down the conversation saying this was a mistake and “a few booty calls too many.”
As Tully tells Kate she is pushing away Max, Kate tries to explain she can let people in and it's normal to have feelings. Tully's character remains very emotionally closed off throughout the entire show. She has a lot of unprocessed trauma from her earlier years that stand in the way of her being vulnerable and expressing emotions.
When Tully experienced the horrible event with Pat, she repressed it and never wanted to speak of it again. Since the trauma went unrecognized, it built up and is coming out in her adult life, specifically with her interactions with men. Tully is a strong, independent woman who is motivated by a need for power. She wants to be in charge when around men and remain in control. These are some of the effects Tully experienced after the incident.
After Experiencing A Sexual Assault You May Feel..
Sad
Confused
Guilt
Emotional numbing
Avoiding people/ places
Isolated
I’ve Experienced An Assault… Now What?
Take a deep breath and relax. It can feel triggering and overwhelming to remember or relive certain memories. Experiencing something like this can feel life changing and terrifying, yet it won't feel like this forever. You can start with a few small steps to begin your road to healing.
Reach out for help
Whether it's a therapist, friend or family member, this can be a great first step towards the healing process
Check out Anchor Therapy for trauma counseling
Research coping mechanisms
Coping skills can help control your breathing and relax your muscles and mind
Some examples of coping include:
Journaling thoughts and feelings
And more!
If You've Experienced An Assault, You Are Not Alone
The Importance Of Therapy & Processing Trauma
As you learned, Tully never processed her trauma and effects started to appear in her adulthood. Speaking to a trauma therapist or someone you trust is a great way to release feelings and thoughts, and process traumatic events.
For each person, they feel comfortable sharing their trauma at different times. It could be days after the event or years after until they feel ready to talk about it. Some people never want to address their trauma and that is okay, yet it is very healthy and helpful to discuss it.
Some Positive Effects Of Sharing Trauma Include:
Decrease in distress
Help tolerate trauma
Effectively deal with these issues
Helps you make sense of the events
Long Term Effects Of Unprocessed trauma are:
Maintaining fear
Feelings of powerlessness
Negative connotations and interpretations
Stress
Avoidance
Self blame
Emotional dysregulation
Overall, Firefly Lane is a comforting show that offers a glimpse into major aspects of real life, like heartbreak, trauma, and addiction. The audience has witnessed the show’s main character, Tully, bury her trauma to her detriment. If you are experiencing any trauma, please know that reaching out for help can always benefit you. Help is always available.
Sabrina Zayas
is studying Human Services with a concentration in Administration and Family Policy at the University of Delaware. She’s a senior and plans on getting her Master’s in Social Work after she graduates. In the future, she would like to work in domestic violence or homeless shelters, hospitals and schools as a social worker, and her ultimate dream goal is to be a therapist.
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