Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

cbt for trauma nyc

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5 Ways to Navigate Crises in Hoboken, NJ

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5 Ways to Navigate Crises in Hoboken, NJ

Hoboken, New Jersey is a vibrant city known for its waterfront views, bustling streets, and tight-knit community. However, like any urban area, it is not immune to crises- whether it is flooding from heavy storms, power outages, or public transit disruptions. Being prepared and knowing how to navigate emergencies can make all the difference in staying safe and minimizing the impact on your daily life. By staying informed, planning ahead, and tapping into local resources, Hoboken residents can confidently handle unexpected challenges.


From emergency alerts to evacuation routes, having a solid plan in place is crucial. Hoboken’s geography makes it particularly susceptible to flooding and, with its dense population, transit delays and power outages can quickly escalate into major disruptions. In recent years, the community has also endured deeply unsettling events, including multiple building lockdowns due to active threats requiring SWAT intervention, as well as a frightening school incident where a student threatened violence, forcing children and parents to endure repeated lockdowns. In this guide, we will cover five essential ways to stay ahead of potential crises, ensuring that you and your loved ones remain safe and mentally resilient no matter what comes your way.

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What Is It Like Being The Golden Child?

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What Is It Like Being The Golden Child?

If you are the golden child in your family, chances are that you feel like you are living in a spotlight- always praised, always expected to succeed, and often held up as the example for others to follow, especially siblings. Parents, teachers, and even extended family members may shower you with admiration, reinforcing a sense of confidence and achievement. To learn more about your sense of self-confidence, check out our blog “The Ultimate Guide to Building Self-Confidence.” Knowing that your accomplishments are met with pride and celebration can be very validating and keep you in a loop of wanting to seek constant approval from other people. At times, you may even feel like you can do no wrong in the eyes of others. You may find that your mistakes are overlooked or easily forgiven. 


However, the role of the golden child is not always as perfect as it seems. The pressure to maintain high expectations can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of anxiety, imposter syndrome, or fear of failure. You might feel like your worth is tied solely to your achievements, making it difficult to express vulnerability or make mistakes without disappointing others. Additionally, relationships with siblings can be strained as they may resent the preferential treatment you receive. Being the golden child can be both a privilege and a burden, shaping your self-worth and family dynamics in ways that are not always obvious at first glance. If you resonate with being a golden child, keep reading this blog.

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What do maladaptive daydreams look like?

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What do maladaptive daydreams look like?

Maladaptive daydreaming refers to a pattern of extensive, vivid daydreaming that interferes with daily life. Maladaptive daydreaming often becomes a form of escapism. Unlike normal daydreaming, which may occur occasionally and does not really disrupt functioning, maladaptive daydreaming can become all-consuming. 

People experiencing maladaptive daydreaming may spend hours each day lost in elaborate fantasies, often centered around idealized scenarios or intricate narratives that they mentally replay. These daydreams can be triggered by external events, emotions, or boredom, and they often involve highly detailed storylines with characters, settings, and even specific events. As these fantasies grow, they can take on a life of their own, making it difficult for individuals to focus on real-world tasks or engage meaningfully with other people to foster relationships.

While daydreaming itself is not inherently harmful, maladaptive daydreaming can have significant negative consequences. People who struggle with this type of daydreaming may experience difficulty concentrating on work or school, neglect relationships, or feel disconnected from their surroundings. These daydreams often create a sense of temporary relief from life's stresses, but they can ultimately cause more issues in the long-run, preventing individuals from addressing the real challenges they face. As the fantasies become more compelling and immersive, the boundary between fantasy and reality can blur which can lead to feelings of isolation, frustration, and even depression. For more information, check out our blog “3 Benefits of Working with a Depression Therapist.”

Understanding maladaptive daydreaming is crucial in order to address it effectively and find healthier ways to cope with stress and emotions.

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How to Get Past Medical Trauma

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How to Get Past Medical Trauma

Healing from past medical trauma can feel like an overwhelming journey, but it is possible to regain control and peace with the right therapeutic approach. Medical trauma can come in many forms whether it is from a difficult diagnosis, a painful procedure, or generally negative healthcare experiences. Medical trauma typically leaves long-lasting, deep emotional scars that impact your level of trust in doctors, health decisions, and overall welfare. Over time, these wounds can manifest as anxiety, fear, or even physical symptoms, making it important to recognize the impact of these experiences and seek ways to move forward. If you struggle with physical mental health symptoms, check out our blog “3 Ways to Manage Your Physical Anxiety Symptoms.” 


Taking steps toward healing involves acknowledging the trauma, seeking mental health support from a licensed psychotherapist, and building healthier coping mechanisms. Whether through mental health counseling at Anchor Therapy, mindfulness, or support groups, addressing these emotional wounds allows you to reclaim your sense of self and find comfort in your healthcare journey again. With patience and care, it is possible to navigate the healing process and transform past medical experiences into sources of strength and resilience!

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Understanding Miscarriage Trauma

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Understanding Miscarriage Trauma

Experiencing a miscarriage can be painful and it is often isolating. It can leave you and your partner to grapple with grief, confusion, and a profound sense of loss. While you may experience physical recovery in days or weeks following the miscarriage, the emotional and psychological effects of it can linger long after. The trauma of losing a pregnancy includes the sadness of an unrealized future along with feelings of guilt, shame, and uncertainty.


In this blog, we will dive into the complex emotions linked to miscarriage trauma, from immediate shock and grief to a long healing journey. We will get into the importance of acknowledging and processing miscarriage trauma while also explaining the significance of seeking professional support. A path toward emotional recovery is totally possible! Whether it is you or someone you know who has experienced a miscarriage, this blog will serve as a valuable tool filled with insights and coping skills to help you navigate this difficult experience.

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The Impact of Trauma on LGBTQIA+ Lives

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The Impact of Trauma on LGBTQIA+ Lives

For many people within the LGBTQIA+ community, the journey of identity acceptance is intertwined with unique celebrations and challenges alike. Unfortunately, for many people in the LGBTQIA+ community, trauma is a common experience that ranges from rejection and discrimination to systematic oppression. Every person’s story is different and the impact of trauma can leave great marks on one’s self-esteem, relationships, and overall mental health and well-being. Recognizing how the experiences in your life affected you is the first step to healing.


Trauma in the LGBTQIA+ population is typically rooted in external pressures to conform to the norms of society. Bullying, family rejection, workplace discrimination, and religious condemnation are just some examples of negative LGBTQIA+ experiences that can create deep emotional scars. There are also systemic barriers in place, from exclusion in certain spaces to a lack of access to affirming care, that can worsen these effects. Even microaggressions can create an ongoing sense of alienation. There are very specific challenges at play for marginalized communities, particularly those in the LGBTQIA+ community.


Understanding the impact of trauma on LGBTQIA+ people is important to create a sense of resilience and carve a path to healing. Particularly with LGBTQIA+ youth, only 4% of people in this community reported never having experienced any symptoms of trauma according to the Trevor Project. With a LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist at Anchor Therapy, you both can create a space where you are seen, valued, and safe.

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What conditions may be treated with CBT therapy near me?

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What conditions may be treated with CBT therapy near me?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, often simply referred to as CBT, is a type of structured talk therapy that is structured and goal-oriented. Mental health professionals, from psychologists to psychotherapists and counselors, use CBT to treat or manage a range of mental health conditions and/or emotional concerns. 


If you are someone who is starting off in your journey of trying to find a therapist near you, you likely have come across CBT therapy. For support in this journey, read “How to Find the Best Therapist Near Me.” CBT is often referred to as the gold standard of mental health counseling as it is one of the most common and best-studied forms of mental health therapy.

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The Role of Trauma in Netflix’s Firefly Lane

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The Role of Trauma in Netflix’s Firefly Lane

*Spoilers about seasons 1 & 2 of Netflix’s show Firefly Lane ahead!*

Firefly Lane is a powerful and heartwarming story of two women who formed an unbreakable bond as teenagers, and stayed by each other's side for nearly three decades. Starring Sarah Chalke as Kate Mularkey and Katherine Heigl as Tully Hart, the two go through good and bad times, while battling their own issues. 

In the summer of 1974, Tully Hart moved into a beautiful home on Firefly Lane. Directly across the street from her lived Kate Mularkey and her family. Kate is thrilled when Tully moves in, as she continuously daydreams about being her friend. On the surface, they are as opposite as two people could be. Tully is mysterious, smart, popular and beautiful, while Kate is strange, quiet, and nerdy. They encounter each other a few times outside, where Kate attempts to be Tully's friend, but Tully is closed off. 

One night, Tully tells Kate a secret while she is upset and feeling vulnerable. Kate promises to never tell Tully's secret, and they made a pact to remain best friends forever. By the end of summer, Tully and Kate were inseparable. 

From the beginning, Tully is desperate to prove her worth to the world. Abandoned by her mother at an early age, she searches for unconditional love. She looks to men to fill the void by drinking and having one night stands. As the 90’s approaches, Tully is captivated by the world of television news, as this has been her lifelong dream. She will follow her own blind ambition to New York and around the country, ultimately finding fame and success… and loneliness. 

Kate knows early on that her life will be nothing special. In college, she pretends to be driven by success, but all she wants is to fall in love, have children and live an ordinary life. Although, when she does become a wife and mother, it changes her and makes her question who she is and what she once wanted. 

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Your Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Trauma at College

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Your Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Trauma at College

In any given semester, college level students experience a multitude of stressors and possible trauma. On college campuses, it is reported that nearly two thirds of college students have experienced or been exposed to a traumatic event while being at school. 

Trauma occurs when you experience a terrifying or life threatening event that leaves you in shock or fear. This can range from constant stress to experiencing an assault. While balancing your education, social life, mental and physical well-being, trauma may weigh heavily on you and make it hard to complete everyday tasks. 

If you are experiencing trauma at school, you are not alone.

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Everything You Need to Know About CBT for PTSD

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Everything You Need to Know About CBT for PTSD

Most people know about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as shell shock. You may be experiencing debilitating nightmares or find yourself being over-reactive. PTSD is commonly attributed to the military community. While PTSD in veterans is a common occurrence, you do not have to be in the service to have PTSD.

PTSD symptoms can impact anyone. PTSD is a type of anxiety disorder that occurs after a deeply scary or intimidating event. You do not even have to be directly involved in the event for you to experience PTSD. That is to say, the pure shock of the event can be so large that you have a difficult time living a normal life.

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