10 Tips To Holiday Self-Care

The holidays can be an extremely stressful time. Usually you have a lot more plans, you spend a lot more money than in your usual budget, you reflect on what you didn’t accomplish this year, you stress about the year ahead, and/or you find yourself feeling generally sad. All of these stressors are normal during the holiday season. As a mental health professional, I recommend that the holidays should be seen as your most important self-care time. Use this time to take off from your usual life stressors and relax. Below are some tips on how to do just that.

11 Reasons Why You Are A People-Pleaser

A lot of our clients find themselves giving away too much of themselves to others to a point that they feel worn out. Especially in this time during the holidays, people feel they need to give everything they can to others. Whether that is lending an ear to friends in need, giving gifts, or going above and beyond for others. If you find yourself doing to this to the point of exhaustion then you may be a people-pleaser. This usually means that you are taking care of others around you before you take care of yourself. Our clients who present as people-pleasers usually find themselves feeling anxious, drained, and overwhelmed.

Why People With Anxiety Cancel Plans Last Minute

Most people who experience anxiety over analyze everything happening in their life constantly. People with anxiety are either over analyzing something that happened in the past or they are worried about what might happen in the future. A common example of a worry is about future plans. People who experience anxiety are more likely to cancel their plans last minute because they are spending so much of their time stuck worrying.

Whether you have anxiety yourself, or you know someone who has anxiety, then it would be helpful to learn more about anxiety and how it can sometimes present as not caring for others and not wanting to be social. but that is not what is actually going on. When people with anxiety cancel plans last minute, there is usually much more going on.

How To Get Students Back On Track After Getting Behind In School Work

The school year is in full swing and a lot of students are starting to feel the pressure of their school work weigh on them. School anxiety is very common for students who put a lot of pressure on themselves to do things perfectly. When they do not feel like they are doing things perfectly, they can get stuck in one place. They then start to over analyze and perfect everything. Since there is no such thing as perfection, these students usually start to fall behind in their school work. Usually being behind in school work will increase anxious feelings and then this cycle continues throughout the school year.

How To Handle Negative Self-Talk In Teens

Teens usually experience vulnerability in which they are experiencing a time in their development in which they are questioning where they fit in, who they are, and analyze how they could be better. With this level of scrutiny usually comes negative self-talk. This usually comes about in teens who compare themselves to others and feel they are not good enough for whatever reason. As a parent, it could be hard to see your teen experience a lack of self-esteem and falling into the comparison trap. There are ways to help your teen so that they can first feel heard and next get help with refocusing and reframing these negative thoughts/feelings.

How Taking Breaks Can Help Your Mental Health

Whether you’re a student, a working professional, or a stay-at-home parent, you need to take breaks. Taking a break can look differently for each person. the overall goal is to stop doing whatever you’re doing long enough that you feel re-energized when you return to it. That’s why employers give you paid time off (PTO) and sick time. That’s why there are things called, “study breaks”. And that’s why there’s a saying, “come back to it when you can”. When taking breaks, there could be a lot of feelings that arise such as guilt as a break could feel like a waste of time and unproductive. I will discuss why this is not actually the case.

11 Self-Care Tips For Teachers

With the end of summer, comes the beginning of a new school year. a lot of teachers have a hard time transitioning back into school mode along with their students. It’s always a big change to go from a carefree summer to a stressful school year. There are so many different stressors that teachers experience throughout the school year. It’s extra important that they schedule in time for self-care throughout the school year. The best time to start a new self-care habit is at the beginning of a new routine. So it’s most helpful to start now.

What You Need To Know About Work-Related Anxiety

A lot of adults have a hard time turning off their work stress outside of working hours. This leads most people to feel anxious and find themselves up all night worrying. A lot of young professionals experience having a hard time creating a healthy work-life balance. Usually the stress of their job is staying with them outside of working hours and seeping into their daily life. They find it hard to fall asleep, enjoy themselves and/or relax when they are off the clock. This usually leads to burnout.

9 Tips To Getting Better Sleep

I talk to my clients often about their sleeping habits in my Hoboken psychotherapy practice. Getting a good night’s sleep is a big part of our overall health. It is recommended that adults get 7-9 hours of sleep on average. Children, teens, and senior adults should be ideally getting more hours of sleep. Before we can work on feeling less anxious, or less depressed, we need to make sure our basic needs are met. This includes getting enough sleep so that you can be your best self. Some clients find it hard to fall asleep or stay asleep- especially if they’re feeling anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed. Below are some tips I give my clients to help them sleep better.

How Counseling Can Help Your Career

Career counseling is something that you can get from seeing a psychotherapist. Usually people who need help or guidance with their career path will turn to a business coach or a career coach. While a coach can definitely be helpful, they will not be able to sort through the emotional side of your decision making. They are not licensed professionals who can help decrease your stress during this process. As psychotherapists, we are trained to help our clients figure out not only their future goals but the best way that will get them there based on where they’re at currently. That usually looks different for each person.

5 Ways To Calm Your Anxiety

As a psychotherapist in downtown Hoboken, NJ I see a lot of clients who experience anxiety. I help kids, teens, young adults (20’s and 30’s year olds), and parents with anxious feelings. Anxiety can present in different ways including agitation, nervousness, feeling on edge, obsessive/repeated thoughts, rapid speech, and/or trouble relaxing. The most common thing my clients want to know is how to relax. While I specialize in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) I can also help clients feel physically more relaxed as they work on decreasing their overall anxiety. Below are 5 different ways you can try to relax and find calmness.

How To Stop Binge Eating: CBT Can Help

Binge eating disorder is the most common eating disorder in the United States. You may have experienced binge eating once, twice, or many times. Binge eating means you eat beyond fullness. There are different levels to binge eating and the problems it may cause. It becomes a real problem when you feel physically sick from it, your self-esteem suffers, you become lethargic, you find yourself hiding your binges, and/or you don’t feel in control. With the summer swiftly approaching, this is a time our self-esteem is in check as we think about our “bikini bodies”. While I think a bikini body is defined as any body that is wearing a bikini, I understand the pressure to want to feel fit and comfortable in your own body as you bare more skin in the heat of summer. Binge eating usually comes from eating emotionally. This is why CBT (Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy) can help someone sort through their emotions so that they can cope with their feelings in a healthier way than binge eating.

Life Of The Retired Athlete: How To Fight Depression And Anxiety

Professional athletes face a high risk of experiencing mental health issues including depression, anxiety, and substance abuse after they retire. The research shows that elite athletes spend most of their lives focused on perfecting themselves so that they can be the best of the best at their sport. There is usually a specific end goal of winning a championship or even an Olympic medal. Most athletes reach their peak at a young age and retire from their competitive sport early in life. Nowadays, there are a lot of opportunities for athletes to get a degree while pursuing their professional sport so that they are left with other options for a career when they retire. Most professional athletes are used to earning a large income and are given free perks throughout their career. They are used to receiving attention and are noticed by the public. Once they retire this may disappear. They may find it hard to keep up with the lifestyle they once had easy access to. IT can feel devastating to watch your social media follower number decrease over time. These are some factors that can contribute to a retired athlete to feel unfulfilled. This may lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, and they may turn to substance use to help mask these feelings.

How CBT Can Treat Anxiety and Panic

As a psychotherapist located in Hoboken, NJ I specialize in helping clients with their anxiety and panic/anxiety attacks. There are different treatment modalities that therapists use to treat anxiety and panic. One old school way in which therapists were trained to treat anxiety was through Freudian thinking in which you use psychodynamic therapy to analyze and treat what happened in your past. However there is a lot of research that shows CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is the most effective form of treatment for anxiety. I specialize in using CBT as I have seen the firsthand effects of this treatment. While it may be helpful for you to examine past patterns, relationships, trauma, and so on, you are usually looking to decrease your current anxious symptoms. If your anxiety and/or panic attacks are preventing you from living your best life NOW then you have to work on the present and future in therapy. CBT is a forward way of thinking in which we examine your recent and current thoughts so that in turn you will be able to lift your mood and your behaviors will get better.

Does Coming Out As LGBTQ Ever End?

As a psychotherapist in Hoboken, NJ who specializes in seeing lgbtq identified clients, I find that the coming out process never ends- no matter what age or how long ago you first came out. In hoboken and jersey city, there are a lot of accepting groups and people that welcome the lgbtq community. We are also so close to NYC that it makes sense for hudson county to be pretty liberal and accepting of all people- no matter how they identify. While I say I specialize in the LGBTQ community, I really mean that I am accepting of all people and I have experience working with people who identify as something they feel is different than the population “norm”. There are definitely unique hardships that accompany identifying as lgbtq, such as the coming out process. And that process never ends.

What You Need To Know About Your Teen's Senioritis

Senioritis is real. Most seniors, in high school and college, will feel it at some point of their senior year. Usually it is the second half of the year as they are approaching graduation. As a parent, it is good to be aware of senioritis as it can be confused as laziness, lack of motivation, or even depression symptoms (such as sadness, agitation, lack of energy, etc.). As the weather gets warmer, teens and students start to get the summer itch. This itch will be stronger for a senior as they feel the end of school is near. As a parent of a senior student, it is important to be aware of the signs of senioritis so that you know how to help your child.

How To Cope With Mommy Guilt

What is mommy guilt? It is when a mom has a feeling of shame while away from her children. There is a feeling of FOMO (fear of missing out) while spending time away from your family. It could be that you’re at work, spending time with friends, traveling without your children, going on errands around town, a date with your partner, etc. Mommy guilt is a common feeling that most moms get, especially with a newborn. Mommy guilt can also be seen as a kind of anxious/nervous feeling that you cannot shake and always remains under the surface. Mommy guilt can stand in your way of the self-care that you need.

Best Jobs for People With Social Anxiety Disorder

As a mental health counselor, I get asked a lot what types of jobs my clients should get. A therapist can act as a career coach in sorts as we can help determine what jobs fit your personality, values, and interests. A common question I am asked are what jobs are good for people who have experience social anxiety. I have found that there are a lot of jobs out there who are a great fit for people with social anxiety disorder.