Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

marriage and family therapist

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What are signs of love bombing?

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What are signs of love bombing?

Love bombing usually involves bombarding a romantic partner with love, attention, and affection. A love bomber would shower you with compliments, gifts, and grand gestures, for instance. While some people may view love bombing as normal behavior for someone who is newly in love, love bombing takes things a step further. It goes beyond simply getting someone a bouquet of flowers, it is a form of psychological and emotional abuse often disguised as excessive flattery.


Love bombing is a manipulation tactic. People who love bomb are looking to gain control and power over the other person at the beginning of the relationship. Commonly, love bombing is associated with narcissism. For more information, check out our blog “8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist.”

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Exploring Golden Child Syndrome

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Exploring Golden Child Syndrome

A “golden child” the ‘special’ member of a given family unit. Oftentimes, the golden child is pushed to be nothing short of perfect. This typically happens because a parent wants their child to achieve in areas of life where they did not. As a golden child, you may resonate with being able to perform well under pressure, constantly seeking reassurance from your parents, and not being allowed to tell people your true emotions.

Your parents may view your successes as their own which perpetuates a cycle where they are constantly setting high expectations for you. This may cause you to feel excess stress, and you may even begin to feel confused about who you are. Constantly feeling pushes to keep going and achieving with no breaks or self-care can very easily lead to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. 
If the cycle of being the golden child is not broken, the consequences can last a lifetime. You may feel like, no matter how hard you try, you are never good enough. You may have a hard time making decisions on your own without reassurance from other people. You may self-sabotage relationships in your life because you expect the other person to be perfect as well, pushing these unrealistic standards onto others.

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4 Ways to Manage Your Relationship Anxiety

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4 Ways to Manage Your Relationship Anxiety

Relationship anxiety can simply be defined as feelings of insecurity, worry, and doubt about your relationship, making you question your compatibility and future with your partner. Contrary to what you might believe, it is normal to have some level of anxiety about your relationship. You may question your significant other’s past partner or question if your long-term goals match up. But, if your relationship anxiety is beginning to cause severe issues for you, it is a sign that something is off.

Relationship anxiety can become an issue when it interferes with the growth of your relationship or even impacts other areas of your life, such as not being able to concentrate at the office. To help with this, read our blog “3 Ways to Achieve Work-Life Balance.” 

When you are feeling insecure in your relationship, you may feel easily stressed. In other cases, you may have a hard time deciphering your emotions. This inability to process your feelings can have problematic results, like separation anxiety or even burnout for your relationship.

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How To Survive Your In-Laws: A Guide To Family Therapy

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How To Survive Your In-Laws: A Guide To Family Therapy

If you find it difficult to deal with your in-laws, you are not alone. On some level, every couple struggles with their in-laws from time to time. Just because you may be dealing with some issues with your in-laws, it does not mean that you have an unhealthy relationship. It all comes down to how you tackle the problem together as a team. If you believe you may be in an unhealthy partnership, check out our blog “How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship.” 

What you will learn quickly through your exploration together as a couple in mental health counseling sessions is that seeing eye-to-eye with your partner about your in-laws matters more than seeing eye-to-eye with your in-laws. 

Learning how to build a relationship with your in-laws is challenging for many couples. You can choose to view it as a chore that you want to quickly and insufficiently fix or as a ‘project’ to tackle together as a couple. This ‘project’ includes communication, trust, and effort.

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What We Learned From The Relationship Dynamic of Succession’s Shiv and Tom

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What We Learned From The Relationship Dynamic of Succession’s Shiv and Tom

Succession, a comedy-drama television series, has been a HBO hit show since its release in 2018. The television series follows the Roy family who are the owners of Waystar Roy Company, a global media and entertainment empire. The family’s patriarch, Logan Roy, runs the show at Waystar Roy Company while his four children fight for control of the company due to Logan’s wavering health.

Logan has four children- three sons and one daughter. Logan’s oldest son Connor Roy is generally estranged from the family, and does not have much interest in the family company. Instead, Connor has readjusted his interest to politics, setting his sights on the United States presidency. Next is Logan’s power-hungry son, Kendall Roy. Kendall wants to take over the company but has not yet been able to gain his dad’s full vote of confidence. One part of Kendall’s rocky professional and personal relationships is his struggle with substance abuse. Logan’s third son, Roman Roy, is perhaps one of the most dynamic characters of the show, but his constant lack of focus and low maturity level prevent him from advancing in the company. Finally, Siobhan Roy, also known as “Shiv”, has natural leadership skills and closely resembles her father. At first, she rather put her focus into politics, working as a political consultant; however, she decides to jump ship to Waystar once she spots an opportunity. 

One of the most interesting relationship dynamics of the series is the connection between Shiv Roy and her husband, Tom Wambsgans. For any fan of the hit-show Succession, the power differences between Shiv and Tom seem apparent. From Shiv’s tense looks and cutthroat nature to Tom’s vulnerability and looks of defeat after conversations with the Roy family, their relationship is dictated by power differences and incomplete exchanges.

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How to Heal After Infidelity

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How to Heal After Infidelity

The truth is that working through an affair in a relationship is difficult. On both sides, it requires a great deal of vulnerability, energy, time, work, and commitment. Affair recovery is a process of healing your relationship on a mental, emotional, and physical level after infidelity occurs. Typically, the process of recovery after infidelity can take anywhere from six months to two years, but it is important to remember that each couple is unique. For some couples, it may take a little shorter or longer to fully recover.

The painful process of recovery after an affair requires compassion, strength, and humility. An affair does equate to intense emotional pain; however, that pain does not have to end a relationship. There are ways to rebuild your connection with your partner even after an affair if you are both willing and able to put in the work.

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Don’t Worry Darling: How It Portrays Toxic Relationships

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Don’t Worry Darling: How It Portrays Toxic Relationships

*Spoilers about the film Don’t Worry Darling ahead!*

In 2022, director, Olivia Wilde, produced the film Don’t Worry Darling, starring Harry Styles and Florence Pugh. Florence's character is Alice and Harry Styles depicts her husband Jack. The film follows Alice and Jack’s marriage as they live in a utopian place called Victory Town. While the lives and partnership of Alice and Jack seems perfect at first, the cracks in their relationship are revealed throughout the course of the film. The “once-perfect” relationship we saw between Alice and Jack dissolves, and the audience witnesses their connection for what it truly is- a toxic relationship. 

Becoming trapped in a toxic relationship can happen easily. When you are being manipulated and gaslighted, it can be hard to create an exit plan or to even see the warning signs. When caught in these relationships, you can develop feelings of anxiety and depression along with low self esteem for always being scrutinized and belittled. Being able to recognize the toxic antics of your partner can save you from a downward spiral of emotions. If you are struggling, do not hesitate to reach out to a licensed therapist today. Seeking counseling can be on the individual level, and can benefit the couple as well.  

Continue reading along if you want to learn more about the role of toxic relationships in the hit film Don’t Worry Darling.  

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What We Learned About Family Dynamics From Netflix’s Ginny and Georgia

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What We Learned About Family Dynamics From Netflix’s Ginny and Georgia

Every family has their own unique way of living and interacting with one another. Certain circumstances can switch up family dynamics, such as a family member going through a struggle or a change in financial status. The way families are created and composed varies and the types of families we see are always changing. 

No matter the type of family, communication is key to establishing a healthy relationship. Sometimes this communication can come naturally while other times families may need some help from an outside source and possibly choose to attend marriage and family therapy. One television show that exhibits family dynamics is the Netflix hit Ginny & Georgia.

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What You Didn’t Know About Blending Families

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What You Didn’t Know About Blending Families

Blended families can face many bumps in the road. Perhaps your family unit is dealing with a particularly challenging sibling rivalry or you are working to build a strong relationship with your step-children. Luckily, when you plan ahead and get the proper support you and your family needs, you can make sure that the transition goes more smoothly. Helpful family management strategies, including setting house rules and opening all lines of communication, are some ways to construct a warm and welcoming family. 

In some cases, it may feel like you are doing everything right but you and your family are still struggling. Please know that this is completely okay. Building your family is a major life transition and struggles are bound to arrive, but you deal with them can determine your success. You may feel like family counseling is the best next step for your family. If you need additional help navigating this major change in your life, check out our blog: “The Best Ways To Cope With Life Transitions.”