Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

nj therapist

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How To Support An Elderly Family Member

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How To Support An Elderly Family Member

As loved ones age, they need help with everyday tasks like preparing meals, cleaning the house, managing medications, and making health care decisions. When a person begins to need help in their old age, it is often family members (if applicable) who step in and assist. This can be a spouse, adult children, siblings, grandchildren, nieces and nephews, and so on. Family members are consistently the top source of long-term care and support for senior citizens.

In some cases, providing support to a senior family member can be relatively uncomplicated. For instance, your loved one may have a doctor’s appointment, but they have no transportation to and from the medical office. In this case, you know you can give them a ride to the doctor’s office and stay with them through the duration of the appointment, dropping them off home afterwards. However, not all cases are this simple.

Oftentimes, family members will overfill their plate, taking on too many responsibilities. This is typically due to health issues that impact your loved one’s ability to remain independent and govern various facets of their life.

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Tips for Healthcare Workers Experiencing Burnout

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Tips for Healthcare Workers Experiencing Burnout

Even before the global pandemic started in 2020, healthcare workers were under a lot of pressure. From long work hours to ever-changing work conditions, it can be easy to be stressed as a healthcare worker. This work-stress only increased and manifested itself into burnout during the COVID-19 pandemic.

During the pandemic, healthcare workers were on the front line, putting their health, safety, and overall life at risk to help others. Due to this, many people have advocated for a prioritization of mental health during lockdown and isolation, extending the invitation to frontline workers, on social media. While this was a great step in the right direction, many healthcare workers feel as though they may not have the time to take care of themselves and practice self-care.

Healthcare workers were one of the most affected groups by the COVID-19 virus as they were challenged on a daily basis to assist those who were infected. Even if you work in a healthcare environment and were not helping patients directly, you were still subjected to very difficult and stressful work conditions. While many people may believe that the COVID-19 pandemic is “over”, healthcare workers are still battling the virus every day.

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How To Manage A Panic Attack

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How To Manage A Panic Attack

The truth is that panic attacks are scary. They can hit you quickly and, in some cases, it may appear that there is nothing “triggering” your panic attack. When you are in the midst of a panic attack, you may feel like you are completely out of control and/or having an outer body experience. It is not uncommon for people to think that they are having a heart attack or even dying when a panic attack strikes.

Some people have one to two panic attacks during their lifetime and they go away on their own. Most of the time, these panic attacks may occur during a particularly stressful time in one’s life. However, recurrent and largely unexpected panic attacks may be a sign of a more serious issue, such as a panic disorder. Another important sign to gauge your severity is if you are consistently afraid of having another panic attack. If you live in fear of panic attacks and are constantly awaiting the next one, it is recommended that you seek guidance from a professional.

Panic attacks themselves are not life-threatening; however, they can be scary and interfere with your life, whether it is becoming increasingly more difficult to maintain friendships and relationships or difficulty concentrating on tasks at work. In any case, treatment can help!

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How to Cope With Dating Anxiety

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How to Cope With Dating Anxiety

If you are single and looking for a partner, chances are that you probably are familiar with the anxieties of dating. Generally, not many people like dating. When you are dating, you are meeting new people and you may feel scrutinized. You may even fear that you will do or say something to embarrass yourself.

The truth is putting yourself out there is hard. The thought of being vulnerable can be anxiety-provoking. However, for people who struggle with anxiety disorders, dating can be even more complicated and hard. For people with an anxiety disorder, the body responds differently than it would as a natural response to simply being nervous. This additional level of difficulty can make people with anxiety disregard dating altogether.

Dating can be a situation with many scary, unknown possibilities. There may be awkward small talk or other unknown factors, like if your date will show up or if you will get rejected. Eventually, this anxiety and shyness can lead to an avoidance of meeting new people. It can also lead to a sense of hopelessness about finding an acceptable partner and a sense of isolation.

If you struggle with social anxiety and have been going on dates or are even currently seeing someone, your experience might be affected by worry or panic attacks where the experiences are no longer enjoyable.

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Your Guide to Self-Care As A Parent

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Your Guide to Self-Care As A Parent

Parenting is a rewarding journey, but it is also a difficult one! From staying up all night with your newborn to rushing to get your kids to school on time, it can seem like your to-do list is never-ending. Amidst all the craziness, it can be easy to dismiss self-care, viewing it as something frivolous or a luxury.

Contrary to some people’s beliefs, self-care is not selfish. It does not have anything to do with being narcissistic or egocentric. Instead, it is deeply connected to health and wellness- both mental and physical. Once you begin to view self-care in the correct way, you will notice that self-care is anything but self-seeking.

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How To Know When To Seek Grief Therapy & Learn All About The New Grief Diagnosis

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How To Know When To Seek Grief Therapy & Learn All About The New Grief Diagnosis

Grief is an inevitable part of life. In fact, it is a completely normal part of coping with loss. Grief is an extremely unique experience. In other words, it looks different to everyone from severity to how long the grief process lasts.

However, there are some scenarios where seemingly normal grief can transform into a grief disorder. As of March 2022, there is an updated Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision (DSM-5-TR). Within the DSM-5-TR, there is now an official mental health disorder for prolonged grief. With the symptoms and criteria for the diagnosis, it can tell you if your grief has become a major problem in your life. It can also tell you if you are grieving longer than you should and that you are not grieving in a healthy way. Read more below all about the new grief disorder in the DSM-5-TR which all psychotherapists and psychiatrists will use to diagnose clients. With the help of a grief counselor, you can overcome your grief disorder and come out of the experience as a stronger person!

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Find Out If You’re An Introvert or Extrovert

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Find Out If You’re An Introvert or Extrovert

From the Myers Briggs Type Indicator to the Enneagram, there are many personality tests out there that can reveal more about you. Learning more about your personality can be a powerful tool.

Personality tests can provide many advantages, such as:

  • Being able to understand yourself better

  • Helping you choose what path of study you want to pursue

  • Helping you pick a career that suits your interests

  • Enhancing your management skills

  • Teaching you healthy coping mechanisms

  • Making you more empathetic

  • Gaining insight into your mental health

More generally, personality tests can increase your level of self-awareness and help nurture important relationships in your life. A major component of almost all personality tests is whether you are more introverted or more extroverted.

Most likely, you know what side of the spectrum you are on by simply noting if you are more outgoing or shy in your everyday life. However, personality tests can offer more definitive answers. The question of whether you are an extrovert or introvert is more complex than simply being demonstrative or timid.

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How Spencer Accurately Depicts Bulimia

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How Spencer Accurately Depicts Bulimia

Spencer, a 2021 drama and historical film, focuses on the life of Diana, Princess of Wales. While royalty is typically viewed as something aspirational, Spencer showcases the dark side of fame and the overall pressure of the throne.

The film also shows other raw, realistic components of Princess Diana’s life, such as her battle with an eating disorder. It is widely known that the Princess of Wales struggled with bulimia, also known as bulimia nervosa.

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5 Healthy Ways to Cope With PTSD

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5 Healthy Ways to Cope With PTSD

Post-traumatic stress disorder, also known as PTSD, is a mental health condition that is characterized by a particular, terrifying event. This event can be either experienced first-hand or witnessed.

PTSD symptoms can start within one month of a traumatic event occurring; however, there are cases where symptoms appear years after the event took place. PTSD symptoms typically cause serious problems in both your social and professional lives. The symptoms can impede your ability to complete common daily tasks.

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5 Ways to Solve Common Relationship Problems

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5 Ways to Solve Common Relationship Problems

It is rare to have a completely perfect relationship. It is normal to hit a few bumps in the road. When you can spot these “bumps” ahead of time, you have a great chance of getting over them and not allowing them to detour your life.

There are many different ways that people react to problems in their relationships. Some people may feel angry or helpless while others may want to completely give up after a minor inconvenience. Then, there are other partners who are determined to make it work and will do whatever they can to fix the broken aspects of the relationship.

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7 Ways to Combat Imposter Syndrome

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7 Ways to Combat Imposter Syndrome

Do you feel like you are a fraud? Do you think that you do not belong in your position? Do you think you simply got lucky?

We’ve all been there before. No matter how hard you have worked or how many hours you put in, you may be feeling unworthy. You may feel like you are not qualified for the new job you just got hired for- afraid that your boss and colleagues will discover the “truth” at any given moment. Maybe you feel like you do not have what it takes to raise your child even though they are a priority and you are trying your best.

Please take comfort in knowing that many people have felt this way at one point or another.

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5 Ways to Help Someone Battling Alcohol Addiction

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5 Ways to Help Someone Battling Alcohol Addiction

Alcoholism is extremely common and can be detrimental to someone’s relationship with others. It can be very difficult to watch someone struggle with alcoholism and you may wonder how you can help your loved one. For those who know someone struggling with alcohol abuse, it can be very stressful deciding if or how to help them. You risk them getting very defensive or possibly even ending their relationship with you. There are many ways to create a comfortable environment to talk to your loved one about your concerns and there are many places that can offer professional help.

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Navigating Life After College

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Navigating Life After College

Congratulations on graduating from college! It is undeniably an exciting time in your life. You worked hard for four years and now your dedication has paid off. It is a major accomplishment, and you should be proud of yourself. However, once that diploma is in your hand, you may feel a mixture of emotions- feeling anxious, excited, scared, nervous about your future. If you feel this way, please know that you are not alone and it is completely normal to have these feelings.

Many college students are not prepared for the transition after graduation. Some graduates wish that they would have been more engaged on campus or taken part in different academic and professional opportunities. Other students wish that they would have prepared themselves more for the workforce by participating in an internship or externship. While it is easy to look back and think of what you could have done better, it is important to ground yourself in the present moment and know that you accomplished the ultimate goal- graduating from college.

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The Connection Between Binge Drinking in College and Mental Health

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The Connection Between Binge Drinking in College and Mental Health

College binge drinking has become a new norm for young adults, especially college students. The term “blackout” is widely used. “Blackout” refers to a person getting so intoxicated that they fail to remember the night’s events the following morning. Although “blacking out” is extremely dangerous and negative to one's overall health, it is a part of daily life for many college students.

It is very common for college students to participate in binge drinking, which makes this a public health issue. Alcohol is more accessible to college students than high school students because there is a mix of people who are underage but still participate in drinking and those who have turned the legal age to purchase alcohol. There is almost always free alcohol given away at college parties.

College binge drinking has been routinely highlighted in the overall college experience. A phrase used regularly is “blackout or get out” meaning that you should only be at the event if you plan on getting extremely intoxicated.

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Everything You Need to Know About Divorce Counseling

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Everything You Need to Know About Divorce Counseling

While people often think of couples counseling as a tool to prevent separation, if you and your partner have taken the step towards divorce, therapy can be equally as helpful. Divorce can be a painful process, and divorce counseling can be a positive force in guiding you through the process. As different emotions arise, your divorce therapist can assist you in recognizing and working through them.

In addition to dealing with the tangible components of a divorce, you will also have to deal with the emotional aspects. Many people who get divorced undergo the five stages of grief.

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How Euphoria Gets Mental Health Right

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How Euphoria Gets Mental Health Right

Euphoria is a groundbreaking series that reflects on the lives of teenagers in today's society. It puts an extra focus on analyzing the mental health of the show’s characters with a variety of situations influencing their mental health. It’s getting a massive audience that even crashed HBO for the viewing of the first episode of the second season.

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When is it Time to Seek Anger Management Therapy?

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When is it Time to Seek Anger Management Therapy?

Feelings of anger or violent actions can be related to many underlying mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, or addiction problems. Some people with anger may suffer from low self-confidence, trust issues, or even have past experiences with physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. There can be overlapping factors that influence one’s anger management issues.

It is important to note that anger is a normal emotion, especially when you feel mistreated or wronged. It should not be something you hide from. In fact, you should learn to express your emotions, but they must be showcased in a healthy way that does not negatively affect other people. When you have control over your anger, you can ensure that your emotions do not get bottled up, remain calm, and learn to effectively show your emotions without harming your relationships. Anger becomes dangerous when harm is done to you or others.

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How CBT Can Help With Your Insomnia

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How CBT Can Help With Your Insomnia

Living with insomnia can be extremely challenging. If you are someone who struggles with insomnia, you may feel like it is an odd or isolating health issue. There are many misconceptions about insomnia, including what triggers insomnia and various treatment methods. Due to these common misunderstandings, it can be difficult to get effective help from family and friends. Therefore, working with a professional is often necessary.

Despite potentially feeling isolated, please try to remember that insomnia impacts many people. You are not alone in your struggles. Insomnia is a common disorder, and there are several effective treatment plans available to you. Often, it is necessary to get professional treatment to ensure that you are getting enough sleep each night to remain healthy and continue to be the best version of yourself.

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5 Ways to Build Self-Confidence

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5 Ways to Build Self-Confidence

Self-confidence can be a difficult aspect of ourselves to build up. Not everyone automatically has a high level of confidence. From generally suffering from low self-esteem to having an incident that lowered your trust in yourself, it can often be difficult to raise our confidence levels.

Self-confidence can generally be referred to as a feeling of trust you have in your abilities, judgment, and qualities. Having a good level of self-assurance is not only good for your health, but it also benefits your psychological welfare.

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How to Stop Self-Sabotaging for Good

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How to Stop Self-Sabotaging for Good

Self-sabotaging refers to specific ideals and behaviors that prevent us from being the best versions of ourselves. Contrary to popular belief, self-sabotaging is a normal part of the human experience. In other words, everyone self-sabotages at some point in time; however, some people may do it more often than others. In fact, it may become so normal to you that you do not even realize that you are self-sabotaging.

Self-sabotaging can often seem mysterious or confusing for some people. While most of us want to do well, we may find ourselves standing in our way. Luckily, there are ways to recognize the forms of self-sabotage and overcome them for good.