Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

Self Esteem Page

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Does ADHD Get Better With Age?

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Does ADHD Get Better With Age?

When it comes to Attention-Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), many children, teens, and adults may wonder if ADHD challenges will subside with age. Typically, ADHD is associated with children and teens who struggle with focus, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. For more information, read our blog “Parenting A Child With ADHD.” But did you know that ADHD can impact adults as well? To learn more information on this topic, check out our blog “CBT for Adult ADHD.”


ADHD is a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition which means that symptoms can persist into adulthood; however, ADHD symptoms may manifest differently over time. As you grow older, you will often develop healthy coping strategies and skills which can help you manage your ADHD symptoms more effectively. 


For example, as an adult with ADHD you may face less issues surrounding hyperactivity and more concern over focus and organization. Life transitions,career paths, and other environmental factors can influence how ADHD symptoms present over time. That is to say, while ADHD never fully goes away, it can look different and feel more manageable as you get older.

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Why Do I Have Control Issues?

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Why Do I Have Control Issues?

At one point or another, everyone has struggled with control in some way shape or form. Perhaps you try to take control over a romantic relationship so you do not let emotions cloud your judgment. Maybe your control issues really come to the surface at work where you compete with your peers. Past experiences or a fear of uncertainty commonly drive control concerns. You may have a deep-seated belief that being in control equates to safety and stability. 


Continue reading this blog if you want to explore the root causes of control issues, learn how control concerns manifest in your behaviors and relationships, and, most importantly, to see what coping strategies can be implemented in your life to regain a sense of balance and flexibility. When you understand the underlying motivations of your control issues, you can take healthier actions to better yourself which will also better the interactions you have with other people. This will ultimately lead to a more fulfilling, happier life. 

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Are Dating Apps Bad For Your Mental Health?

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Are Dating Apps Bad For Your Mental Health?

In today’s world, dating apps have become commonplace. They have become the standard way to meet people and connect, offering access to thousands of potential romantic partners with a simple swipe or tap. There is no denying the convenience of these apps and how easy they make it to meet new people and expand your social circle, but have you ever wondered how online dating can impact your mental health? Do dating apps actually help people find meaningful connections? Do dating apps leave you feeling more isolated than before? More anxious? More dissatisfied?


In this blog, we will explore the complex impact of dating apps on one’s mental health, analyzing both the excitement they offer and the emotional toll they can take. Whether you are an avid user of dating apps or utilize them reluctantly, it is important to understand how online dating can impact your self-esteem, relationships, self-confidence, and overall happiness.

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

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How to Break the Cycle of Obsessive Thoughts

Have you ever experienced the same thoughts over and over again? Do you dwell on these thoughts, and the negative feelings that come along with it? The repetitive, often negative aspect of thought rumination can contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression, as well as worsen existing conditions.


Rumination is when you feel stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. Rumination is an obsessive form of thinking that includes excessive, repetitive thoughts or themes that conflict with other mental activity, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Although thought rumination typically occurs for individuals with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), anyone can struggle with obsessive thinking. 


Rumination can transform worry into a habit or a way of life. Obsessive thinking can be a hard cycle to break, but it is possible! Continue reading this blog to learn how to break the cycle of obsessive thoughts.

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How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

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How Does Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) Affect You Mentally?

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, simply referred to as PCOS, is a hormonal disorder that impacts women who are of reproductive age. While the cause of PCOS is not well known, we do know that it causes enlarged ovaries with small cysts on the outer edges. Health experts believe a combination of genetic and environmental factors are at play with this disorder. 

The effects of PCOS are still being studied, but we know that those with the disorder can experience a wide range of mental health concerns, from anxiety and depression to eating disorders and low self-esteem. Continue reading this blog to figure out how PCOS may be impacting you mentally and emotionally, and what you can do to cope.

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Exploring Golden Child Syndrome

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Exploring Golden Child Syndrome

A “golden child” the ‘special’ member of a given family unit. Oftentimes, the golden child is pushed to be nothing short of perfect. This typically happens because a parent wants their child to achieve in areas of life where they did not. As a golden child, you may resonate with being able to perform well under pressure, constantly seeking reassurance from your parents, and not being allowed to tell people your true emotions.

Your parents may view your successes as their own which perpetuates a cycle where they are constantly setting high expectations for you. This may cause you to feel excess stress, and you may even begin to feel confused about who you are. Constantly feeling pushes to keep going and achieving with no breaks or self-care can very easily lead to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. 
If the cycle of being the golden child is not broken, the consequences can last a lifetime. You may feel like, no matter how hard you try, you are never good enough. You may have a hard time making decisions on your own without reassurance from other people. You may self-sabotage relationships in your life because you expect the other person to be perfect as well, pushing these unrealistic standards onto others.

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How to Navigate Insecurity After Infidelity

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How to Navigate Insecurity After Infidelity

Infidelities, affairs, and cheating can erode a relationship, the couple as a unit, and the self-esteem of those who have been cheated on. Most people blame themselves for their partner’s decision to be unfaithful.

When you first found out that your partner, fiance, or spouse cheated on you, it was likely a shock to your system. The emotional impact of infidelity can carry long-term consequences and even disrupt your view of yourself and the world around you. You may think that you are less-than or that no one should be trusted moving forward.

You once felt safe and loved and, now, that image has disappeared. So, what else in your life could change? Infidelity can be damaging, but it can also provide an opportunity for personal growth. 

If you decide to stay with your partner, it can be a chance to strengthen your relationship and fix the cracks. If you decide to leave your partner, you may find yourself increasing your dating standards. There is no right or wrong answer here- you ultimately know what is best for you. Regardless of your situation, you can take certain steps to overcome the insecurities you are facing post-infidelity.

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Why Am I Terrified of Rejection?

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Why Am I Terrified of Rejection?

Feeling fearful of rejection is a very powerful, overwhelming feeling. What if I am not good enough and everyone can see it? What if people think less of me because of this rejection? What if this rejection confirms my worst fears about myself? What if rejection happens repeatedly and it becomes a pattern in my life? The ‘what ifs’ can start to feel endless.

Believe it or not, most people experience nervousness or anxiety when placing themselves in situations that may lead to rejection. However, for some people, the possibility of maybe being rejected throws them into a tailspin and becomes all-consuming. 

The fear of rejection can be rooted in many things, from social embarrassment to a history of repeated rejections. An untreated fear of rejection will only continuously limit your life and the chances you are able to take in it.

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How to Fix Attachment Issues As An Adult

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How to Fix Attachment Issues As An Adult

Children and teens with attachment concerns may detach from their parents or caregivers, or become overly-friendly with random adults. As they age into adulthood, having attachment issues can present difficulties in forming meaningful relationships and negatively impact one’s social development as a whole.

An attachment disorder is a behavioral disorder that can affect your ability to form and maintain connections with other people, whether it is platonic or romantic. Attachment disorders are common in children and teens but, if it is not healed, it can persist into adulthood. 

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The Truth Behind Why Boundaries Are Important for Maintaining Mental Health

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The Truth Behind Why Boundaries Are Important for Maintaining Mental Health

Boundaries are important for maintaining healthy relationships and ensuring our well-being. They help define our limits and protect our mental health by allowing us to prioritize our needs, manage stress, and maintain self-respect. This blog will explore the significance of setting boundaries, the different types of boundaries, and practical tips for establishing and maintaining them.

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The Hidden Impact of Body Image on Your Well-Being

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The Hidden Impact of Body Image on Your Well-Being

Effects of Body Image on well being

In today's fast-paced, media-saturated world, body image has become a significant concern for many individuals. Our perception of our bodies can profoundly impact our mental health, affecting our self-esteem, relationships, and overall quality of life. Many people with poor body image also struggle with anxiety, depression, and turn to unhealthy coping skills to numb these feelings. Body image can vary over time and change throughout an individual’s life and there are many contributing factors. This blog explores the concept of body image, its effects on mental health, and strategies for fostering a positive body image.

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How to Start Loving Yourself Again

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How to Start Loving Yourself Again

As human beings, we are social creatures. We are told that the relationships we build with other people- from family members and friends to romantic partners- will be an undeniably important part of our life. While this is true, what about the relationship we have with ourselves? It is the most important relationship in our life, yet it is one we neglect regularly.

When you have self-love, you value your own worth and identity. This can include things like accepting yourself exactly how you are and setting boundaries that advance your mental health. Just as you treat other people with kindness, you should show yourself the same love and compassion too. When you learn how to honor yourself, you can nurture your journey of personal growth and self-acceptance.

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How to Cope with Life Transitions in Your 20s

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How to Cope with Life Transitions in Your 20s

While many of us know about the popular term “mid-life crisis”, the term “quarter-life crisis” may not come to mind, but it is just as real as a phenomenon. In fact, it may even be a rite of passage to feel lost in your 20s. It is a high-stress time in your life where more things are changing than staying the same. Whether you are graduating college and getting your first ‘real-world’ job or getting married to the love of your life, this decade can be defined by its many life transitions.

Many people would agree that your 20s is a time of self-exploration. You are figuring out your likes and dislikes, who you are, where your professional interests lie, what you are looking for in a romantic partner, and so much more! All of this inner discovery can easily leave you feeling lost and confused. You may find yourself comparing your life to that of your friends, feeling like you are behind in life in comparison to your peers. If you find yourself feeling like this, please take comfort in the fact that you are not alone.

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9 Ways Social Media Is Impacting Your Teen Daughter’s Self-Esteem

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9 Ways Social Media Is Impacting Your Teen Daughter’s Self-Esteem

In recent years, the emergence and rapid growth of social media platforms have revolutionized the way we communicate, share information, and connect with others. Now that we are in the digital age, social media has become an integral part of the lives of teen girls. The influence of social media on the lives of these girls has become subject to increasing concern as the issue has intensified. There have been clear patterns in the way that young girls are perceiving themselves and how they feel about their appearance alongside this increase of social media exposure. 

Along with the changes in the way these girls view themselves compared to what they see on social media, there have been changes to their mental health as a result. There has been an increase in  negative mental health effects being experienced by young girls. While not everyone is impacted in the same ways, generally there is correlation between these factors which will be explored further below.

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3 Ways to Cope with a Friendship Breakup

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3 Ways to Cope with a Friendship Breakup

If you have ever lost a best friend, you know how painful the process can be. Sometimes, losing a best friend can hurt more than losing a significant other. The truth is that friendship breakups are not easy. Whether you simply drifted apart from your friend or had a falling out and experienced a damaging situation, you can properly heal with a friendship breakup.

You may be reminiscing or even beating up on yourself, thinking of what went wrong and what you could have done differently. It is a normal human reaction to think about these things, but the constant thoughts surrounding your friendship breakup can keep it fresh in your mind which only reminds you of how much you miss your friend.
A part of the healing process is to reflect on your friendship, and the memories you and your best friend created together. It can be difficult to move on after this life transition if you continuously “obsess” over your friendship and what could have been. When you learn how to stop overthinking and properly control your emotions, you can regain your focus and move forward in life with a new perspective.

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The Ultimate Guide to Building Self-Confidence

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The Ultimate Guide to Building Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is the attitude you have in regards to your skills and abilities. When you have a healthy level of self-confidence, you accept and trust yourself how you are. It also means that you have a good sense of control over your life. You take pride in your strengths, but you also acknowledge your shortcomings. You can handle criticism well, have realistic goals for yourself, and can comfortably communicate your needs. Overall, you have a positive view of yourself, but this positive self-reflection is not always an easy thing to achieve.

Alternatively, when you have low self-confidence, it rarely has anything to do with your actual skills and abilities. Instead, it almost entirely relies on your perception of yourself. Perceptions are how you think about yourself, and those thoughts are subject to falsity. Low self-confidence can stem from several experiences, perhaps you are afraid of failure or you grew up in a family and home environment that was extremely critical of you. When you have a low sense of self-confidence, you often have a pattern of errors in your thinking.

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How Alix Earle Became The “It” Girl While Battling Anxiety and Self-Esteem Issues

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How Alix Earle Became The “It” Girl While Battling Anxiety and Self-Esteem Issues

Who is social media star Alix Earle? 

Alix Earle began her rise to fame through TikTok in 2022. Since then, her TikTok following has grown from 300,000 to 3.5 million people in 2023. Alix grew up in New Jersey, and attended a Catholic high school. Her family owns a construction and paving company which Alix interns at while she attends the University of Miami, studying business and marketing. On point with Alix’s social media skills, she helps with her family company’s newsletter on their website and runs their social media accounts. 

The Earle company prioritizes mental health within their company, showing support for veterans ever since the traumatic September 11th attacks. The family also operates a foundation that mainly focuses on helping people fighting opioid addiction. 

While Alix is speaking on important topics now with her newfound social media fame, it does not mean that she did not have personal struggles in her past. Alix’s father and mother had a public divorcein 2008 but still co parent their shared kids together. Her father remarried and had three children with his new wife. Alix has become a role model and older sister for her younger half siblings. From what she shares online, Alix is a part of a healthy blended family that spends a lot of time together.

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7 Ways to Combat Imposter Syndrome

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7 Ways to Combat Imposter Syndrome

Do you feel like you are a fraud? Do you think that you do not belong in your position? Do you think you simply got lucky?

We’ve all been there before. No matter how hard you have worked or how many hours you put in, you may be feeling unworthy. You may feel like you are not qualified for the new job you just got hired for- afraid that your boss and colleagues will discover the “truth” at any given moment. Maybe you feel like you do not have what it takes to raise your child even though they are a priority and you are trying your best.

Please take comfort in knowing that many people have felt this way at one point or another.

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5 Ways to Build Self-Confidence

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5 Ways to Build Self-Confidence

Self-confidence can be a difficult aspect of ourselves to build up. Not everyone automatically has a high level of confidence. From generally suffering from low self-esteem to having an incident that lowered your trust in yourself, it can often be difficult to raise our confidence levels.

Self-confidence can generally be referred to as a feeling of trust you have in your abilities, judgment, and qualities. Having a good level of self-assurance is not only good for your health, but it also benefits your psychological welfare.

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Do You Understand Your Self-Esteem?

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Do You Understand Your Self-Esteem?

Simply, self-esteem refers to the complex mental states in which one views oneself. Self-esteem is the foundation for the construction of self-meaning, self-identity, self-image, and self-concepts. It is appreciation and likeness for yourself regardless of external factors.

There are numerous factors that can influence your self-esteem, including:

· Self-assurance

· Feeling of safety

· Identity

· Sense of belonging

· Feeling of capability

The evaluation of self that self-esteem permits is important to your mental and social welfare. Your self-esteem impacts your goals, personal dreams, emotional health, decision-making process, and social interactions with peers. Additionally, self-esteem impacts your motivation levels. Typically, if you have a high level of self-esteem, you have a healthy, optimistic view towards yourself which allows you to see your capabilities and can potentially encourage you to take on new obstacles. A high level of self-esteem can lead to advanced health and social behavior.