Scapegoating in Families, family counseling, Hoboken NJ therapist, Jersey City NJ therapist, hudson county therapist
Courtney Glashow
Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in ...

Scapegoating means that you are blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or for something that someone else has done. Scapegoating typically occurs to protect the image of a person or family. In a family dynamic, a person may be used as the scapegoat to protect a more favored member in the family. While it is common for one person to be used as the scapegoat, it can happen to multiple people.

Scapegoating can occur in different environments, such as work, but it is most prominent in unhealthy family dynamics. In this case, scapegoating then tends to start in childhood when a child is blamed for all of a family’s dysfunction and problems. A scapegoat bears the burden of taking on the mistakes of a family or team. 

When children are assigned this role at a young age, it can wreak havoc on their mental health. A scapegoated child may not believe that they are inherently good, worthy, or lovable. Instead, they hear insults regularly, experience constant bullying, and even abuse and neglect. This leads to a low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and negative self-talk. 

Understanding the Psychology of Scapegoating in Families
toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

hoboken therapist

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How to Manage OCD Intrusive Thoughts with CBT

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How to Manage OCD Intrusive Thoughts with CBT

Do you struggle with intrusive thoughts? Do they seemingly pop into your head from thin air? You might be grabbing a coffee or commuting to work when, all of a sudden, an unwanted thought pops into your head. It can be a bizarre image or a crazy thought. You are left questioning that thought or perhaps you think about it obsessively and start to become anxious.

The thought could be harmless, like doing something embarrassing in a social setting, or it could be more harmful, such as a tragedy happening to your family members or other loved ones who you would never want to harm. If you struggle with this, please take comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

If you struggle with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), you can experience intrusive thoughts regularly and you may be looking for a way to stop them in their tracks. These thoughts are automatic which may make you feel like you do not have control over them. This only worsens your stress levels and may even lead you to cope in unhealthy ways.

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How LGBTQIA+ Couples Counseling Is Unique

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How LGBTQIA+ Couples Counseling Is Unique

Are you in a LGBTQIA+ relationship and experiencing frequent conflicts or disagreements in your relationship? Do you and your partner struggle with meaningful connection, infidelity, or lack of intimacy? Are you in need of a LGBTQIA+ couples therapist who is culturally competent and understands LGBTQIA+ issues? If so, keep reading this article!

Couples counseling can benefit any couple at any time, but it can be especially beneficial for LGBTQIA+ couples who face a unique set of challenges. Therapeutic work in the LGBTQIA+ community is different. Typically, the focus of couples counseling, particularly in the media, can be centered around heterosexual, monogamous couples. The lack of representation you may witness is no need to stop you from seeking the help your relationship deserves and needs.

You may feel stuck in your relationship at the moment. For example, your partnership may look very different from what you envisioned for yourself. You may have issues surrounding communication or need to learn how to work collaboratively to tackle life issues. Like many other couples, when you avoid these behaviors, they can turn into patterns that negatively affect your relationship in the long-run. These patterns can manifest as daily fights or chronic silent treatments.

Whether you and your partner are battling intimacy issues, exploring the possibility of an open relationship, or dealing with the aftermath of infidelity, these situations can breed excess stress, anxiety, and the weakening of a connection for any couple. When you couple these problems with identity-specific struggles, the setbacks can worsen the quality of your relationship, making LGBTQIA+ couples therapy that much more necessary.

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Building A Stronger Relationship With Your Partner Post-Baby

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Building A Stronger Relationship With Your Partner Post-Baby

The transition from a couple to a family of three (or even more!) can be one of the biggest changes you will face in your relationship. It is exciting, invigorating, and generally glorious. It can also be tiresome, worrisome, and aggravating. The combination of these emotions can be threatening to the romantic relationship that gave you a child in the first place.

While raising a child can be a difficult experience at times, many couples find that they grow stronger after expanding their family, connecting in ways they have never experienced before. You may have a new level of respect for your partner after the birth of your child and share experiences together as a family that bring you that much closer together.

On the other hand, if you are experiencing relationship problems after the welcoming of your child, you are not alone. Many couples experience bumps in the road as they navigate their new world. It is best to deal with issues as they occur instead of burying them.

Maintaining a marriage after a baby takes time and energy. As a new parent, time and energy may be the last things you want to give. However, actively choosing to put the work into your relationship is beneficial in the long-run. Instead of growing resentful of each other, you and your partner can learn to enjoy spending each moment with one another.

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Benefits of Geriatric Counseling

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Benefits of Geriatric Counseling

It is undeniable that receiving mental health counseling services from a licensed therapist can be beneficial for most people, including senior citizens. Unfortunately, mental health counseling can often be overlooked when people are in their golden years. There are many great achievements and milestones that happen in old age, but there can also be hardships.

Many older adults face major life challenges during their senior years. Maybe you or your loved one can no longer maintain their independence, such as grocery shopping, cleaning, or even living on their own. In more extreme cases, there may be involvement of a medical diagnosis, including a mental health condition, which presents symptoms and general life challenges.

If you or a loved one is experiencing some mental health difficulties, you should think about reaching out to a geriatric mental health counselor. Even though young adults continue to battle the mental health stigma, senior citizens are less likely to receive mental health treatment in comparison to younger adults. This can be due to the general fact that seniors are more guarded with their emotions and do not share any mental health symptoms they may be experiencing. If you are trying to get mental health support for your loved one, please understand that it may take time for your family member or friend to understand the mental health benefits of speaking to a senior therapist.

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5 Effective Ways to Reduce Stress During Final Exams

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5 Effective Ways to Reduce Stress During Final Exams

Every college student knows that final exam week sparks unavoidable stress. Even as students look around their college campus during this time of the semester, you can see that stress taking place in the form of anxiety and sleep deprivation.

Although stress is an inevitable component of life, it can easily take a toll on all aspects of your health- including physical, emotional, and mental health. It can also interfere with your academic success. The stress that college students typically deal with involves alterations in one’s lifestyle, an enlarging workload, new duties, and interpersonal relationships. Finals week can add extra pressure onto this already-stressful situation.

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Understanding the Five Love Languages to Improve Your Relationship

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Understanding the Five Love Languages to Improve Your Relationship

A crucial component of a healthy relationship is understanding how to express love to your significant other. Getting to know your partner may take some time. The more time you spend with them, the more you understand their personality, likes, dislikes, and hobbies. Even though you may know your partner well, it may still be difficult to find a meaningful method of communication that your partner resonates with, understands, and fulfills their emotional needs. Therefore, Dr. Gary Chapman, an American author, radio talk show host, and marriage therapist, devised the five love languages.

As a marriage counselor, Dr. Chapman worked with many couples throughout the years and, in the 1990s, he identified a trend amongst all of the couples’ arguments. During marriage counseling, many couples would express that they were trying their best, but their compliments, gifts, and/or gestures were going unnoticed. The other partner did not even notice the acts that they were supposed to be grateful for. Instead, they were hoping that their partner would do something that they could recognize and appreciate. Dr. Chapman realized that these breaks in communication and affection were rooted in different definitions of love.

Dr. Chapman found five distinct ways that people receive and showcase love. Generally, people have one to two languages that they prefer.

The five love languages are as follows:

  1. Quality Time

  2. Acts of Service

  3. Words of Affirmation

  4. Gift Giving

  5. Physical Touch

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3 Ways to Support Someone with Depression

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3 Ways to Support Someone with Depression

Do you have a family member or friend who is struggling with depression? If so, you are not alone. Many people experience depression, and it can sometimes feel challenging to help support someone who is depressed. You may feel powerless and constantly thinking what the right steps to take are. Continue reading along if you want to learn how to offer support and sympathy to help your loved one.

Many people hide their depression due to the stigma surrounding mental health issues. As a family member or friend, it may be up to you to start the conversation about mental health, offering assistance and resources. Your help and encouragement can make a major impact on your loved one’s recovery and mental health progress.

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4 Ways to Repair A Relationship After Infidelity

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4 Ways to Repair A Relationship After Infidelity

While infidelity is a big obstacle in a relationship, it can also be seen as an opportunity for positive growth and change. Infidelity does not mean that your relationship is over. Luckily, there are many ways to heal and construct a healthy relationship once again.

Trust is a crucial part of any relationship. Trust can be broken in many ways, from minor mishaps to big mistakes. Unfortunately, cheating can break a bond and your level of confidence in your relationship. Infidelity is not always like what we see in the movies and television shows. In other words, it is not always what we think. Many times, infidelity occurs due to a lack of emotional connection, not a lack of attraction.

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4 Ways to Naturally Treat Depression

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4 Ways to Naturally Treat Depression

For many people living with depression, it is helpful and sometimes essential to take antidepressants. These drugs can certainly help countless people, but there are many reasons why other individuals may try to treat their depression naturally before looking towards medication. From personal beliefs to side effects and medication costs, many people are actively searching for effective methods to alleviate their depression. Even if you are on antidepressants, it is helpful to incorporate these natural methods to help manage your depression even further.

Before you learn how to manage and treat your depression, it is important to understand the condition itself. Depression consists of being constantly sad or losing interest in engaging activities to the point that it is notably damaging your daily life.

Depression is a complex mental health disorder. Many life events can increase your chance of developing feelings of depression. It may seem that other people who go through similar events never get upset or depressed while you struggle with it. Everyone is different and some life events impact certain people more than others and in different ways.

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5 Ways to Help Someone Battling Addiction & Substance Abuse Issues

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5 Ways to Help Someone Battling Addiction & Substance Abuse Issues

If you know someone who is struggling with addiction and substance abuse issues, you must understand that it may feel difficult for them to reach out for help. In the United States alone, millions of people struggle with addiction. It is important to reiterate that they are not alone in their struggles and have a strong team ready to support them every step throughout the recovery process.

Unfortunately, addiction not only impacts the specific individual, but it can impact family and friends as well.

Addiction can cause:

  • Financial issues

  • Legal obstacles

  • Changes in the addict’s behavior

  • The sadness of seeing a loved one struggle

Understanding addiction is not an easy undertaking. Treatment options can seem overwhelming or even confusing at times. It is completely understandable that you are worried about your loved ones and want to find effective ways to help them. You must always remember that recovery is not always the perfect solution.

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5 Ways Exercise Benefits Your Mental Health

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5 Ways Exercise Benefits Your Mental Health

Typically, when you think of exercise, the physical benefits of movement immediately come to mind. It is known that regular exercise can help you:

  • Control your weight

  • Reduce your risk of diabetes

  • Lower your blood pressure

  • Increase your energy

In addition to these amazing advantages, did you know that exercise has psychological benefits as well?

Regular exercise has been proven to keep your memory sharp and ease symptoms of depression and anxiety. Lifestyle modifications are often used to improve quality of life and overall health, and exercise is no exception to these adjustments. Lifestyle changes that highlight moderate-intensity activity are the most beneficial. Additionally, the positive effects of movement on mental health encompass self-efficacy, social interaction, and distraction. Exercise has the ability to enhance your self-efficacy, also known as the belief in your capabilities. Movement can act as a form of social interaction in various ways. For instance, you may have a ‘workout buddy’ or you may engage in group classes. Lastly, exercise can act as a distraction from life stressors, giving you much needed time to mentally rejuvenate.

If you would like to learn about the mental health benefits of exercise, keep reading!

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The Top Reasons Why You Should Practice Mindfulness

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The Top Reasons Why You Should Practice Mindfulness

Do you need to clear your mind? Do you find it difficult to focus on one thing? If so, you might benefit from learning about mindfulness.

Mindfulness is our ability as humans to be fully aware and present of our current situations. When we are aware of where we are and what we are doing, it helps us not overreact or be overwhelmed by external circumstances. Regardless of your location or state of mind, mindfulness can help you center yourself and bring you back to a state of calmness. Everyone has access to mindfulness; you just need to know how to cultivate it.

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How to be Alone without Being Lonely

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How to be Alone without Being Lonely

As COVID-19 is coming to an end, everyone is adopting new changes yet again. While some people may be back in the office, others may be continuing to work remotely. People who were continuously surrounded by family or their ‘quarantine team’ for the past year and a half, may now be alone, getting back into the swing of a full-time schedule. Loneliness happens when you feel like your social and emotional needs are not being fulfilled. On the other hand, being alone can be a refreshing experience where you find much-needed serenity and solitude.

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Reflecting on Mental Health during the COVID-19 Pandemic

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Reflecting on Mental Health during the COVID-19 Pandemic

As the COVID-19 pandemic is slowly coming to a halt, people are finally resuming their pre-pandemic activities and busy schedules. While this requires an adjustment from the adopted “new” normal, many businesses are starting to boom again, and families and friends are being reunited. As society comes together to collectively battle the virus with mass vaccinations, an opportunity presents itself to reflect on how your mental health was impacted during quarantine and mandated social distancing. It is essential to understand personal reactions to the pandemic to conform to previous routines and re-enter society successfully.

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Anchor Therapy Is Expanding Counseling Services in Hoboken, NJ!

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Anchor Therapy Is Expanding Counseling Services in Hoboken, NJ!

At Anchor Therapy, we are currently accepting new clients and are now providing telehealth (video & phone) sessions for residents of New Jersey and New York as well as in-person sessions at our new office in downtown Hoboken, NJ! Anchor Therapy is a counseling center in Hoboken, NJ with psychotherapists specialized in helping children, teens, adults, and couples with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, substance abuse, addiction, identity, and life transitions.

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How To Return To "Normal" With Post Pandemic Anxiety

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How To Return To "Normal" With Post Pandemic Anxiety

As we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel with the COVID-19 pandemic some people are starting to experience anxiety about having to return to their “normal” life. Since the pandemic lasted over a year, a lot of people have adjusted to a new normal that they’re now comfortable with. Because we have been told to stay home more and physically socially distance from others, it has led to people spending more and more time with the family they live with and people in their quarantine bubble. A lot of people had the luxury of working from home or anywhere that they can get access to WiFi. This led many people to move to a new location since they could truly work from anywhere. Now that millions of Americans are getting vaccinated, businesses and people in general are starting to discuss how they will operate after the COVID-19 is no longer a high risk. The thought about returning to normal has caused many people to feel anxious about making this transition.

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How To Understand and Develop Boundaries in Relationships

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How To Understand and Develop Boundaries in Relationships

The word “boundaries” gets thrown around often. What even are boundaries? Simply put, boundaries are guidelines or limits that send others a clear message. Boundaries are important for establishing a healthy relationship. Some of your current relationships may be lacking some boundaries at this time. It is not impossible to establish new boundaries, however it will take work, determination, and respect. Creating boundaries with family and friends can be very difficult. You have had a certain relationship with these individuals for months or years, and making changes in relationships is not a simple task.

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Senioritis vs Depression: How To Decode Your Teen

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Senioritis vs Depression: How To Decode Your Teen

The time of year is approaching when senior year teens in high school are anxiously waiting for their grade school years to end. Your teen may already know what college they are going to, they may be waiting to see what college(s) they get into, or they may be figuring out something different to do after graduation. The final countdown to the end of high school is quickly approaching which can be a very exciting time, but it can also lead to many emotions and sometimes issues. It could be hard to tell if your teen has a lack of motivation, is feeling depressed, and/or has senioritis. I am here to help talk you through some of the differences to look out for.

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Sadness vs Depression: When To Get Help

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Sadness vs Depression: When To Get Help

We see a lot of clients who come in for therapy feeling unsure if they have a diagnosis of depression or if they’re just feeling a normal amount of sadness. There is a clinical way to diagnose depression and there are different degrees of a depression diagnosis: mild, moderate, and severe. You could also be experiencing a single episode of depression meaning that you have been experiencing these symptoms of sadness for 2 weeks-6 months. If you have been experiencing these symptoms for greater than 6 months then you would be diagnosed with a more long-term depression. The short answer here is that everyone could use the benefits that come from going to therapy. So even if you are feeling a normal amount of sadness and you don’t technically qualify for a depression diagnosis, you could still get a lot out of going to therapy. Counseling can help you feel more yourself and that you’re in a better place to take on the world.

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5 Things You Must Do Before This Year Ends

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5 Things You Must Do Before This Year Ends

The year 2020 will probably be known in future history books as one of the most challenging years to live through. Usually at this time of the year, people are reflecting on the past year and what is to come in the new year. While you are reflecting, you may think to yourself that you should accomplish some things before the year ends that you may not have checked off your list or had time to complete.

My overall answer as to what you must do before the end of the year is: NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. This year has taken its toll and your stress levels may be at an all time high. Hopefully you have some time off from work/school coming up that you can finally take some time to relax. You do not need to be productive at all times. It is actually more beneficial to take breaks and time off so that you can be at your highest level when you return. Don’t let anyone else make you feel like you should be productive at all moments of the day. You should never feel bad for relaxing. Relaxing can actually be purposeful and feel productive as well. Below are some tips on how to relax before the end of this year.