toxic relationship, relationship counseling, couples therapy, hoboken therapist, jersey city therapist, marriage counseling, nj therapist, nyc therapist, premarital counseling
Courtney Glashow
How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship

When you are in a healthy relationship, it naturally functions well. Of course, like any couple, you may have disagreements from time-to-time or there may be some hard times, but you band together no matter what. You are able to make major life decisions together, discuss problems once they occur, and genuinely enjoy spending time with one another.

On the other hand, you have toxic relationships. In a toxic relationship, the ‘norm’ is feeling drained and unhappy after spending time with your partner. This should be a major red flag that some things need to change.

You may still love your partner, but the relationship does not seem enjoyable. Maybe minor issues turn into full-blown arguments or you always seem to provoke one another. It may even get so severe that you dread spending time with your partner instead of getting excited to see them, like you were in the past.

Continue reading this blog to see if your relationship is toxic, and some guidance on how to navigate a toxic relationship.

How To Tell If You’re In A Toxic Relationship
Intergenerational Trauma, trauma counseling, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational ...

Disney has a way of exploring heavier life topics that can help children and the 2021 film Encanto is no exception. Movies like Inside Out and Soul also assist children in exploring heavier aspects of life, such as emotions, trauma, consciousness, and even death. Encanto joins the long list of children’s movies that have a deeper message.

Disney’s Encanto offers a multigenerational story about a grandmother and her family who have been endowed with magical gifts. The Madrigal family lives in a hidden village in Colombia. While each family member does their best to live up to their reputation and help others in the community, the facade slowly begins to crumble figuratively and literally in the house that all three generations share.
Not only do people love this movie because of its catchy soundtrack, including the famous song “We don’t talk about Bruno”, but people also love it because of its exploration of generational trauma.

Disney’s Encanto: How It Got Intergenerational Trauma Right
control issues, mental health blog, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues

Do you have a hard time going with the flow? Do you have to follow a schedule or routine at all times? Do you try to control other people in your life? If you are dealing with control issues, it is likely that you feel like you must exert power over your life, relationships, and general environment. In some cases, this exertion of power may extend to the life of other people.

Control can simply be defined as exerting influence or power over the environment, actions, and behaviors of yourself or another person. There are many reasons why you may feel like you need to be in control, such as insecurities or fear of the unpredictable. At times, your need for control may become overwhelming and tiring, causing chaos in your career, relationships, and your overall quality of life.

7 Ways to Let Go of Control Issues
couples therapy, hoboken counseling, jersey city therapist, mental health blog, nyc counselor, relationship counseling
Courtney Glashow
8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist

While some people may be quick to throw the word “narcissist” around, it is important to remember that there is a distinction between someone being self-centered and unsympathetic, and someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Many people may have what doctors call narcissistic characteristics, such as feeling entitled or having a strong sense of self-importance. People who have narcissistic personality disorder may be challenging to deal with.

The first step to determine your dynamic with someone who you think is a narcissist is to know the difference between someone with narcissistic tendencies and someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

8 Tips for Dealing With A Narcissist
trauma counseling, nyc counselor, nj therapist, jersey city therapist, hoboken counseling
Courtney Glashow
How to Heal Childhood Trauma as an Adult

When you think of a child, you probably imagine a young person who is resilient and fast-moving. These traits may cause you to believe that situations do not leave a lasting impact on children’s emotional health; however, that is not the case. If left unsolved, your emotions that came from a traumatic experience as a child can live in your subconscious mind. This will continue to affect you until you detect, process, and solve it. In order to heal childhood trauma as an adult, you have to learn how to process painful emotions.

A healthy way to respond to childhood trauma occurs right after the trauma has taken place. When the trauma occurs, you recognize that it is an offense to yourself. Afterward, you would feel your emotions and acknowledge the fact that the offense does not dictate anything about you personally. In other words, you do not make a negative meaning out of what occurred. Generally, it is rare for people to react in this manner.

This process is not automatic. Certain emotions, like rage and unhappiness, are difficult to express. On top of that, some cultures may view this outpouring of emotions to be socially unacceptable. Therefore, this causes many people to suppress their emotions. For a kid, this process is even more burdensome. For instance, someone may comment on a child’s weight or a part of their body which can cause a long-lasting inner dialogue to occur in the kid’s head, creating body dysmorphia. While this can happen to adults as well, it may be easier for an adult to push aside outside commentary in comparison to a child.

How to Heal Childhood Trauma as an Adult
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Does living with my in-laws affect my marriage?

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Does living with my in-laws affect my marriage?

Living with your in-laws can have its fair share of ups and downs, therefore having both a positive and challenging impact on your marriage. In one sense, living with your family can be a beautiful thing as it offers you a close and valuable support system. Your in-laws may contribute financially, or provide practical assistance, such as helping with childcare or household responsibilities, for example. This is a great scenario where a nurturing environment is being created. In other words, everyone is looking out for one another, and contributing. But, for this system to work, clear boundaries and open, honest communication must be in place so your needs as both the couple and extended family are being met.

To flip this situation, living with in-laws can add stress to your marriage. You may feel like it is hard to maintain independence or privacy living in close quarters with your in-laws. You may even feel like you do not hold decision-making power, having your in-laws trump your choices time and time again. If you and your in-laws hold differences in lifestyle, values, or expectations, it can worsen conditions. One way to ensure a peaceful household is to prioritize your marriage. Keep reading to learn more!

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Is It Normal To Be Homesick When Studying Abroad?

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Is It Normal To Be Homesick When Studying Abroad?

Studying abroad can be a truly beautiful and transformative experience. After all, you are intentionally putting yourself in a new country, embracing the culture, language, and varying perspectives in the process. There is no thrill like that of exploring a new country or place you have never been to before. And being able to study in such an environment shows how gaining a global education is unmatched. However, along with this excitement, uncomfortable emotions may arise too, such as being homesick. 

Homesickness while studying abroad is very common, but that does not mean that it does not feel overwhelming to try to navigate at times. Being away from familiar surroundings, loved ones, and the comfort of home or your college campus is hard, and homesickness is a normal emotional response to have. 

Even though homesickness comes with its fair share of challenges, it can also provide an opportunity for personal growth. Coping with the emotional ups and downs that come along with studying abroad can make you more resilient and adaptable- skills that you can utilize in the future time and time again. 

If you are looking for tips to deal with homesickness while studying abroad as a college student, continue reading this blog. As you read this article and embrace your new surroundings, you will find a way to balance the beauty of studying abroad with the hardships of homesickness!

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Why Am I Terrified of Rejection?

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Why Am I Terrified of Rejection?

Feeling fearful of rejection is a very powerful, overwhelming feeling. What if I am not good enough and everyone can see it? What if people think less of me because of this rejection? What if this rejection confirms my worst fears about myself? What if rejection happens repeatedly and it becomes a pattern in my life? The ‘what ifs’ can start to feel endless.

Believe it or not, most people experience nervousness or anxiety when placing themselves in situations that may lead to rejection. However, for some people, the possibility of maybe being rejected throws them into a tailspin and becomes all-consuming. 

The fear of rejection can be rooted in many things, from social embarrassment to a history of repeated rejections. An untreated fear of rejection will only continuously limit your life and the chances you are able to take in it.

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The 7 Ways To Make A Relationship Work According to John Gottman

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The 7 Ways To Make A Relationship Work According to John Gottman

The Gottman Method is a type of couples therapy and form of psychoeducation that comes from the work of Dr. John Gottman, an American psychologist and researcher. For over 40 years, Dr. Gottman studied and analyzed what makes a couple successful versus the times when there is trouble in paradise. Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, the wife of Dr. John Gottman, created the Gottman Method, or the clinical treatment framework. Together, the dynamic duo launched the Gottman Institute. 

The Gottman Method is a distinct form of couples therapy. What differentiates this form of counseling from other types of therapy is the extensive scientific research that the Method is grounded in. If you are interested in learning more about the Gottman Method and how it may assist you and your significant other, keep on scrolling!

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How to Find the Best Therapist Near Me

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How to Find the Best Therapist Near Me

A lot of mental health professionals offer therapy, but what does it mean to find the right therapist for you? The truth is that finding some who you fit with like a perfect puzzle can be a complex journey. People have compared finding the right therapist to apartment hunting in the sense that you have to deal with a rather over-crowded market. Demand is high and the availability is restricted. You may have to see a few apartments before you find the right fit for you.

Finding a licensed mental health counselor who you jive with takes time and dedicated effort on your behalf. From hours of searching online to speaking with coordinating teams to ensure your schedules and other factors align, the process can be lengthy. Luckily, if you are in the greater New York City area, Anchor Therapy is here to help!

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Why Do I Get Anxiety During Grocery Shopping?

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Why Do I Get Anxiety During Grocery Shopping?

While it may sound niche, many people experience anxiety during trips to the grocery store. It is an increasingly common, yet overlooked issue. From making what feels like making endless decisions to navigating crowded supermarkets, grocery store anxiety has many causes. 

Ongoing grocery store anxiety can impede on your ability to enjoy grocery shopping or do it effectively. Your weekly trip to the supermarket for yourself and/or your family may become something you dread doing. Many people feel overwhelmed when it is time to do their restock, but with some calming techniques and the support of an anxiety therapist at Anchor Therapy, grocery shopping can become an enjoyable experience once again!

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How to Stop Stressing Over A Breakup

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How to Stop Stressing Over A Breakup

Breaking up with a partner, especially someone you have been in a long-term relationship with, can be hard. You may feel like the rug has been pulled out from underneath you. It feels like your world has now turned upside down. Anyone who has been through a breakup knows that there is no guide or rule book on how to process this loss.

When going through a breakup, there is no right or wrong way to feel. Maybe you are feeling anxious about the future. Or perhaps you feel sad and depressed thinking back on the sacred moment you shared with your ex-significant other. You may be grieving the loss of a life that could have been, including marriage and children. It can take time to heal after a romantic relationship ends, but there are some steps you can take to assist yourself along your journey.

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How An Alcohol Therapist Can Help With Binge Drinking

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How An Alcohol Therapist Can Help With Binge Drinking

Consuming alcohol is a big part of American culture. It is normal to go out to bars with friends for a night out on the town, or have that glass of wine with dinner. While many people can safely consume alcohol and it has no impact on their day-to-day life or functioning, other people struggle with their ability to restrict how much alcohol they consume.

According to the PEW Research Center, 62 percent of adults in the United States have consumed alcohol with 38% of the nation’s adult population completely abstaining from alcohol consumption. Among adults who drink, 69% have had a drink within the past week. About one-in-five United States adults admit to drinking more than they should.

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How to Fix Attachment Issues As An Adult

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How to Fix Attachment Issues As An Adult

Children and teens with attachment concerns may detach from their parents or caregivers, or become overly-friendly with random adults. As they age into adulthood, having attachment issues can present difficulties in forming meaningful relationships and negatively impact one’s social development as a whole.

An attachment disorder is a behavioral disorder that can affect your ability to form and maintain connections with other people, whether it is platonic or romantic. Attachment disorders are common in children and teens but, if it is not healed, it can persist into adulthood. 

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How to Get the Spark Back in Your Relationship through Sex Therapy

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How to Get the Spark Back in Your Relationship through Sex Therapy

Chances are that you heard about losing the ‘spark’ in a relationship or marriage before. One of the most common myths of any long-term romantic connection is that passion and intimacy will only decrease with time, not grow stronger or more intense. The spark is that inherent sense of excitement that you feel when you are with your loved one. In other words, it is that ‘butterflies in your stomach’ feeling.

While it is normal to get comfortable with your partner over time, it is always possible to get the spark back- it is not lost for good. Whether you are in a new relationship or have been with your significant other for a while, continue reading this blog to learn more about how sex therapy can enhance the intimacy in your romantic relationship. 

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The Truth Behind Why Boundaries Are Important for Maintaining Mental Health

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The Truth Behind Why Boundaries Are Important for Maintaining Mental Health

Boundaries are important for maintaining healthy relationships and ensuring our well-being. They help define our limits and protect our mental health by allowing us to prioritize our needs, manage stress, and maintain self-respect. This blog will explore the significance of setting boundaries, the different types of boundaries, and practical tips for establishing and maintaining them.

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How to Cope with Parents Aging

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How to Cope with Parents Aging

As a child, you feel like your parents are indestructible. Your father is Superman and your mother is Superwoman. They can face anything, and they are your protectors. But, as you age into adolescence and, eventually, young adulthood, you are excited as life transitions are constantly occurring. With increased age, you have more freedoms- you can drive, stay out later than usual, you go off to college, and so on. However, as you are getting older, so are your parents. As a child or teen, you may not notice it right away.

Growing older is not always easy. Growing older represents a time of aging for everyone, including your parents. When your parents become senior citizens, they may also experience differing levels of their independence. Perhaps you have to step in and parent your parents. Your parents may become stubborn or argumentative. It is a stressful time for everyone involved. Through counseling for aging parents, you can learn how to approach the situation with sensitivity and empathy. 

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How Can I Stop Worrying About My Health?

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How Can I Stop Worrying About My Health?

Hypochondriasis, also known as Illness Anxiety Disorder (IAD) or simply health anxiety, is worrying that you are or will become extremely ill. Accompanying your worries, you may or may not have physical symptoms. Or, you may believe that minor symptoms or typical bodily sensations are cause for concern as they may be signs of a severe illness.

For example, you may associate fatigue with a specific, serious illness rather than the result of a not-so-great night’s rest. The health anxiety you are experiencing, not the physical symptoms, can cause significant distress which impacts your daily life and ability to function. Health anxiety may increase as we age into adulthood and become a senior citizen, and/or it may increase during periods of high stress. Luckily, therapy for health anxiety can help put your mind at ease.

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The Hidden Impact of Body Image on Your Well-Being

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The Hidden Impact of Body Image on Your Well-Being

Effects of Body Image on well being

In today's fast-paced, media-saturated world, body image has become a significant concern for many individuals. Our perception of our bodies can profoundly impact our mental health, affecting our self-esteem, relationships, and overall quality of life. Many people with poor body image also struggle with anxiety, depression, and turn to unhealthy coping skills to numb these feelings. Body image can vary over time and change throughout an individual’s life and there are many contributing factors. This blog explores the concept of body image, its effects on mental health, and strategies for fostering a positive body image.

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What Is My Subconscious Trying To Tell Me In My Dreams?

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What Is My Subconscious Trying To Tell Me In My Dreams?

Our external experiences inform our internal experiences. Our experiences in the real world go on to inform our beliefs and general understanding of the complex workings of the world. Dreams often mirror our reality, including the highlights of our life as well as our fears and anxieties. 

We are usually not in control of our dreams. Some dreams may include butterflies and rainbows while other dreams feel very realistic, such as a mundane day at work or school. Dreams are a unique form of communication. Especially when a dream feels clear or real, it can feel like your subconscious is trying to convey a message. When a dream feels outlandish, you may question if there is really an underlying message or meaning after all.

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4 Ways to Deal with Election Anxiety in 2024

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4 Ways to Deal with Election Anxiety in 2024

Every four years, we get the opportunity to head to the polls and put action behind our voices in choosing the next President of the United States. If it feels like there is a lot of pressure on your shoulders (and your vote), you are not alone. You are making a major decision about the future of your country. What do you want your nation to look like? Do social issues trump financial concerns for you, or vice versa? What is your definition of an ‘ideal America’?

From ongoing political commentary to ruthless banter on social media, it can sometimes be hard to clarify your own values and goals amongst all the noise. If you are feeling anxious about the 2024 United States Presidential Election, you are not the only one. According to the American Psychiatric Association, 73% of United States adults are anxious about the election on top of additional life transitions.

The good news is that, even after the election comes and goes, the world will continue spinning. Your world will continue- you will go to school and/or work, take care of your children and family members, hang out with friends, and so on. But, in the meantime, it is important to reclaim your happiness and peace so your election anxiety does not get the best of you.

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Do I Have Anxiety? Take the Quiz and Learn 5 Instant Calming Tips

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Do I Have Anxiety? Take the Quiz and Learn 5 Instant Calming Tips

Anxiety is a normal human emotion despite what you may think about it. When you are not sure about what is going to happen over the next few minutes, days, or months, you may react to uncertainty with anxiety. 

Simply put, anxiety is a worry over a potential threat in your future. You may lie awake late at night wondering if your date is going to text you back. Pondering an uncomfortable conversation with a loved one may leave your stomach in knots days before the discussion even takes place. Before getting on a plane to travel for vacation, your heart may begin to race. If you struggle with plane anxiety, check out our blog “8 Tips To Overcome Flight Anxiety.”

It is our human nature to want to get rid of these uncomfortable feelings and sensations as soon as possible; however, pushing them away may worsen your anxiety-related symptoms. Worrying about getting rid of your anxiety tells your nervous system that there is another thing to be anxious about, creating a loop where your anxiety is just made worse. Long-lasting anxiety that interferes with your day-to-day life may signal an anxiety disorder which requires the support of an anxiety therapist. 

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Why Do I Get Anxiety In The Summer?

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Why Do I Get Anxiety In The Summer?

As many of us know, weather and the changing of seasons can certainly affect our mood. Dark skies and cold temperatures that plague the winter doom can trigger Seasonal Affective Disorder, also known as SAD, and depression. If you are struggling with this, check out our blog “What is Seasonal Affective Disorder and How Is It Treated?”. 

While many people, especially children and teens, look forward to the summer months, warm weather can negatively affect people too. Summer anxiety is a major issue that many people can deal with. By working with an anxiety therapist at Anchor Therapy, you can overcome your anxious thoughts and make the most out of your summer!

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Grieving A Life That Never Was

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Grieving A Life That Never Was

When we think of grief, we normally associate it with the loss of a loved one, like a family member or close friend. However, grief can come in many forms, such as losing something that you never had. Perhaps your life did not turn out the way you imagine it would. Maybe your career did not turn out the way you imagined. Or maybe your dream partner did not turn out how you thought they would. When your dream disappears, you may experience a loss.

Grieving a life that could have been may feel strange. Does it mean that you are feeling sorry for yourself? Are you dishonoring the life you have now by doing so? While there are many complexities of grieving the loss of a life you wanted, it deserves emotional processing too. After all, it is still a considerable loss.